Brighton Museum and Art Gallery: Where “Ho Ho Ho” Is Now Officially Too Dangerous for the Public

Oh, Brighton.
You absolute clowns.

You’ve done it again.
You’ve reached a level of performative cowardice so spectacular it deserves its own permanent exhibit: “The Museum of Peak Institutional Spinelessness”.

This time, it’s not just a flag exhibition.
No, this time you’ve black-barred the word “Santa”.

Yes.
Santa.

As in Father Christmas.
As in the jolly fat man with the beard who brings presents to children.
As in the single most universally beloved figure in modern Western culture, short of maybe Taylor Swift.

And you – a publicly funded museum – decided that the word “Santa” was too risky to display in full.

In an exhibition about Christmas traditions, or winter festivals, or whatever anodyne seasonal theme you were pretending to care about, you literally covered up the word “Santa” with a black bar on the wall label.

Why?

Because some tiny, hyper-vocal minority of people apparently find the concept of Santa Claus “problematic”.

Not the actual man.
Not the reindeer.
Not the elves.
Just the word.

Maybe they’re offended because Santa is white.
Or because he’s fat (fatphobic).
Or because he rewards “good” children and not “bad” ones (classist, ableist, punitive).
Or because he’s a man (patriarchal).
Or because he’s fictional (anti-reality?).

Who knows.
Who cares.

The point is: you didn’t tell those hypothetical complainers to touch grass, or perhaps to consider that Christmas is a cultural festival that billions of people enjoy without needing a trigger warning.

Instead, you did the noble, progressive thing:
You censored the name of Santa Claus in your own museum.

Let that sentence land for a moment.

You are now the first publicly funded art institution in Britain to decide that the word “Santa” is too dangerous for adults to read unredacted.

This isn’t safeguarding.
This is institutional Munchausen by proxy: you’re inventing trauma where none exists, then pretending you’re saving people from it.

The only people being protected here are the museum staff who are terrified of a single negative tweet from a blue-check discourse merchant.

You’ve turned a place that’s supposed to celebrate culture into a giant apology factory that grovels to the thinnest-skinned people on the internet.

Well done.

Next time you’re thinking of hosting a “Winter Festival” or “Seasonal Stories” exhibition, perhaps consider blacking out the words “Christmas”, “Jesus”, “snow”, “presents”, “family”, “joy”, and “fun” while you’re at it.
Just to be safe.

Or – wild idea – you could try the radical act of treating your visitors like grown adults who can handle seeing the word “Santa” without needing emotional support animals and a debrief session.

Until then, enjoy your black bar over “Santa”.
It’s the perfect visual metaphor for what Brighton Museum has become:
a place so afraid of its own shadow that it’s willing to censor Father Christmas himself.

Ho fucking ho.

Yours in weary disbelief,
Someone who used to think museums were for grown-ups

In the meantime, if you’re looking for some actual Santa-related joy that hasn’t been ruined by institutional cowardice, here are a few things that are still safe to enjoy (and buy) without black bars:

• A proper Santa Claus costume for your own house, because clearly the museum can’t be trusted with one: Santa Suit
• The classic Rankin/Bass stop-motion Santa movie that has survived every culture war since 1964: Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town (DVD)
• A nice big book of Christmas stories with Santa in it, no apologies needed: The Night Before Christmas by Clement Clarke Moore
• And, for the truly bold, an actual Santa hat that the Brighton Museum curators would probably demand be pixelated: Deluxe Santa Hat

 

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Santa Breaches GDPR

#Santa is cancelled due to #GDPR in Europe! #Christmas #AVTweeps #AllThingsTechIE pic.twitter.com/H8AqnkFEB9

— Justin R Dawson CTS (@justinrdawson) November 9, 2018

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What's In Santa's Magic Sack?

Oh dear, be careful what you pull out of Santa's sack this Christmas everyone!

Parents in Pill were in for a rude surprise on Saturday when they discovered that some of the goodies given to their children by the local Santa in a Salvation Army hall were distinctly adult-themed.





Salvation Army Officer Nicholas Ward lis quoted by the Bristol Post:

"It has come to our attention that some children received inappropriate toys from Father Christmas at tonight's 'Santa's Grotto'.

We are very sorry for this and will take this issue up with the Christmas Lights committee, who provide the toys for Father Christmas to distribute.

That said, we would like to thank Santa for his time and for all the families who shared in our Winter Wonderland.

We hope you had a good night and please accept our apologies for any offence these toys might have caused you and your children."

For a pleasant change, people took this cock up with good humour and didn't play the "won't someone think of the children?" card!

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Santa Is Dead!

Kudos to the the authors of a paper in the Lancet Psychiatry for winning my coveted Prats of The Week Award.

Step forward Psychologist Professor Christopher Boyle and social scientist Dr Kathy McKay, who have told parents to stop pretending Father Christmas is real in case the "lie" damages relations with their children.

Seemingly spinning stories about Santa risks undermining a child's trust and is morally suspect. Additionally, the duo go on to condemn the idea of a "terrifying" North Pole intelligence agency which judges children to be nice or naughty.

They are quoted by the Telegraph:

"If they (parents) are capable of lying about something so special and magical, can they be relied upon to continue as the guardians of wisdom and truth?"

Good grief!

Parents have been making up BS stories since the world began (eg religion, the boogeyman, fairy tales, Santa, the Easter Bunny etc), yet mankind has managed to survive.

It occurs to me that the daily dose of reality on TV, that kids are exposed to (eg Eastenders rapes/murders, body parts on the news and the behaviour of politicians etc), is a far greater threat to their sanity!

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Hoh Hoh Hoh - Australian Nanny Bans Santa

My commiserations to the good people of Australia who have to endure Nannyism every bit as annoying as our Nannyism.

Now that we are approaching the season of goodwill etc, it should come as no surprise to learn that Australian Nanny wants to ban the traditional activity of kids sitting on the lap of an overweight, red faced stranger.

Step forward child protection activist (what is a child protection activist, is this an official role or something that she has made up?) Hetty Johnston who is quoted by The Courier Mail:

“What we would like to see is shopping centre owners updating their child protection policies.

The directive would be for children to stand beside Santa, unless parents or children request to sit on his knee. Shopping centres have duty of care to protect children on premises.”

Given that the knee sitting takes place in front of the kid's parents and assorted elves etc, what exactly does she think Santa is going to do to the kids?

The lesson that the kids will learn is to never trust any adult. That is not a healthy lesson!

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The Dangers of Santa

Having survived Halloween the next seasonal marketing gimmick is Christmas.

Unsurprisingly Nanny and her chums have a few words of "wisdom" on that subject. Step forward Pamela McColl, a publisher and anti smoking campaigner, who has (surprise surprise) published a new version of the poem about Santa, attributed to Clement C Moore.

In the original version there is the line (accompanied by a picture of Santa smoking):

"The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth / And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath."

Not anymore there isn't!

Ms McColl has published a new version of the poem without the line and without the picture.

She is quoted by the Telegraph:

“I just really don’t think Santa should be smoking in the 21st century.” 

Funny, I thought that Santa was a fictional character!

Ms McColl is of the view that by "removing these words we may save lives and avoid influencing new smokers.”

Snort!

How convenient and odd that she ignores the fact that Santa is overweight and red faced, surely his obesity also encourages children to eat like pigs?

As with all these single issue obsessives, McColl ignores that point.

“He doesn’t eat in the story. 

That’s not my issue. 

That's Jamie Oliver and other people’s issue.”

Oh and by the way, heaven forfend that someone remembers that he encourages children to sit on his lap!

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Nanny Bans Sanity Clause

Tis soon the season to be miserable etc, as Nanny and the ongoing global financial crisis do their respective bests to undermine any feeling of joy and hope.

In this respect it should come as no surprise whatsoever to learn that Nanny's little helpers are doing their best to put the mockers on the old tradition of sitting on Santa's lap (an old fat guy with a bright red face).

Schools up and down that land, feeling festive and frivolous, have been allowed to dispense with a Criminal Records Bureau check on those seeking to play Santa in the school grotto.

Hoozah!

However, this being Nanny Britain, many schools are erring on the side of caution.

As such, they are imposing rules on "grotto behaviour".

Children will be banned from sitting on Santa's lap, and will not be allowed to be left alone with him.

That's a nice message to send kids, isn't it?

Quite what the schools think Santa can do, given that the parents are within earshot and visual range of their kids I don't know.

The schools are not entirely to blame for this, government guidance states: 

 

“Under no circumstances must a volunteer who has not obtained a CRB disclosure … be left unsupervised with children.” 

 

Thus, one can assume that the rule applies to Santa!

Le's face it, subjecting a child to physical contact (eg a hug, lap sitting etc) by a well meaning adult is guaranteed to leave them emotionally scarred. Far better that they receive absolutely no physical contact at all, ever.

That way they will grow up to be well balanced, emotionally mature adults!

Errrm...hang on a minute??

However, it's not all bad news. That other staple of the British Christmas season, panto, is still being allowed to continue.

Panto is where the principle boy, played by a girl in a short tunic, gets to kiss the leading lady, and where a middle aged bloke gets to dress in women's clothes and make jokes loaded with sexual innuendo.

Six miles to London, and still no sign of Dick!

Hoh hoh hoh! 




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Sanity Clause

This rather amusing analysis of Santa's risk factors is doing the rounds at the moment.

Enjoy!

Santa Claus has been accused of putting his life and the lives of others at risk through breaches of health and safety laws. Brandy-loving present-giver Claus behaves recklessly and in direct contravention of UK legislation, experts said.

Claus, also known as Father Christmas, delivers presents to the nation's children by landing a sleigh on the roofs of houses and climbing down chimneys to deliver sack-loads of gifts. He is understood to use letter boxes for entry to houses without chimneys.

Health and safety law expert Fiona Clarke of Pinsent Masons, said that he could well be in breach of the law. "Santa's yuletide operations clearly come within the Work at Height Regulations 2005," said Clarke.

"Working at height should be avoided where possible, but if it is absolutely necessary then Santa should at least make sure his sleigh has guard rails to prevent a fall and a fall arrest system installed so that if he does fall he is protected."

Those whom Claus visits also have obligations though, warned Clarke. "Householders should be aware of occupiers' liability – if Santa is coming to your home then you have a duty to take reasonable steps to make sure he is not injured," she said. "Make sure your roof is safe and that the chimney is clear so that he doesn't injure himself on the way down."

Concern has also been raised at Claus's brandy intake, which switches to whisky in Scotland. Claus visits houses on a nine-reindeer sleigh which flies through the air, despite the ingestion of a glass of spirits in each of the UK's 25 million households in one evening.

"The alcohol restrictions are the same for every pilot whether you are flying a light aircraft or a 747," a spokesman for the Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) said:

"It is 20 milligrams per 100 millilitres of blood, which is nothing, basically, a trace. One brandy probably would put you over that limit."

"These are the rules for pilots in the UK, every country has its own and Lapland may have different requirements," said the spokesman.

There are also flying height restrictions which Claus is in clear breach of. Aircraft must not fly lower than 1,000 feet in major conurbations, according to the CAA. Claus consistently does this as he flits from roof to roof.

Elf 'n Safety

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat (if Nanny hasn't put him on a diet) etc.

As we move inexorably towards the season of festive fun and frolics, Nanny's Elf 'n Safety Gestapo are on the march again.

This time they have put their size ten jackboots into Santa's sleigh. Nanny is worried that Santa may fall off his sleigh, which travels at a mind boggling 5 mph, and have ordered him to belt up.

Recall the halcyon days when a man with a red flag had to walk in front of a car, lest it run someone over?

Nanny brings those memories flooding back with her prissy attitude to Santa's sleigh.

Anyhoo, Santa's visits to Halesowen West Midlands have been organised by Halesowen and Rowley Regis Rotary Club every year for 20 years. Unfortunately our old friends in the money grasping world of insurance almost put paid to Santa emptying his sack (can I say that here?), when they issued an edict saying he must wear a seat belt and upped the premiums accordingly.

Fortunately a modification to his sleigh was made, a harness was added.

Rotary president Barry Wheeler was not that impressed with the Elf 'n Safety knobheads.

Quote:

"We have done the sleigh round the towns

for something like 18 to 20 years.

Every year we have made sure Santa gets to

go through the town and wave to the children.

But this year we found out we actually

needed a much more wide-ranging insurance

policy for Santa riding on the sleigh

because of health and safety rules.

It would have run into a four-figure sum

which we just couldn't afford to pay.

We pay for the Santa sleigh visits out

of the club funds,

not from the collections we do.

But even club funds couldn't run

to the huge amount the insurance wanted.

It just seemed ridiculous, especially

because he doesn't actually ride on

the sleigh that often.

The sleigh is towed from place to place

by a Land Rover. Santa only usually gets

on once we get to the place of choice

and then the sleigh is towed at a rather

stately 5mph.

He would be more likely to injure himself

getting in and out of the sleigh than

actually falling out of it."

Insurance companies are getting away with murder these days, thanks to Nanny's zero risk policies and people's greed and desire to sue for the slightest accident/bit of bad luck.

Nanny Bans Santa

Poor old Santa really gets it in the neck at this time of the year from Nanny. Normally she has a go at him over his weight, now she is putting the boot in over the colour of his suit.

Seemingly, in the eyes of Nanny's chums in Steiner School Brighton, red is the colour of modern commercialism and have therefore banned it.

Funny that, I always thought that red was the colour of socialism.

Anyhoo, the numpties in the parents' committee believe that red will remind pupils of Coca Cola (one of the world's most evil corporations, in Nanny's eyes).

Therefore Santa will this year be clad in green.

The school has also decided to hold an Eastern European version of the festive season, which it believes will be more "inclusive". This despite the fact that most of the pupils are British.

What a bunch of twats!

School spokesman Sarah James said:

"The red-suited Santa was created as a

marketing tool by Coca-Cola,

it is a symbol of commercialism."

So farking what!

-Santa is a fantasy creation anyway.

-Commercialism generates income which pays the taxes that pays the wages of the dick heads running the school.

A small point of fact here, Santa wore red long before Coca Cola did its makeover.

The trouble is Nanny isn't interested in facts.

For good measure, at the school's Christmas bazaar, pupils will be told a "moral" tale rather than the traditional Christmas story, and instead of opening presents, they will be given fake "rocks" to break open to reveal crystals.

Happy Winterval!

Nanny Bans Santa

Nanny, as we all know, hates fat people. In her view they are slow witted, lazy, greedy and cost far too much to keep alive.

Far better that everyone looks like Nanny, a shrivelled bitter excuse for a human being with no "joie de vivre".

Anyhoo, Nanny has realised that people are best manipulated by the use of role models. As such she knows that with the coming season of gorging and drinking soon to be upon us (Christmas), she needs to tackle the hero of indulgence and jollity ie Santa.

When Nanny looks at Santa, she does not see a jolly gentleman in a red suit, she sees a fat person who is far too happy for his own good. Therefore she is putting him on an enforced diet.

Santa has been told to lose weight, or be banned from shopping centres at Christmas. Yes I kid you not, Nanny doesn't want children sitting on the laps of fat red faced men anymore; she wants them sitting on the laps of gaunt pasty faced men.

Nanny's lackeys at the Bluewater shopping centre in Greenhithe, have set up a Santa boot camp; where Santa will work out.

Fiona Campbell-Reilly, spokeswoman at the shopping centre, said:

"Santa has been around for years,

but society has changed and our Santa needs to reflect this.

Bluewater's Santa Boot Camp is getting Santa

in shape and setting a good example

to children who idolise him.

He will still be the same lovable jolly man,

but will be fitter and healthier."

Utter bollocks!

Society has not changed, Nanny is trying to change society; that is not the same thing.

Christmas is for wants, not needs!

The Dangers of Mince Pies

It seems that in some parts of the country people celebrate Christmas in rather unusual ways.

In the Paisley Centre shopping mall, Scotland, the resident Santa Claus has been forced by his employers to wear a hard hat for health and safety reasons.

Why?

Youths pelted him with mince pies from the upper level of the shopping centre, as he was handing out treats to customers.

Santa now has to wear a hard hat, decorated with antlers, to protect him.

Santa was not injured by the flying pies.

It's a funny old world!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Nanny Bans Mince Pies

In keeping with the season, you will undoubtedly not be surprised to hear that Nanny has banned mince pies.

Rather, Nanny's health and safety Gestapo have ordered that a risk assessment of mince pies be conducted before she allows a Christmas party to take place.

Nanny's jobsworth lackeys in Craven Council have decreed that the organisers of the Embsay Christmas party (a village in the Yorkshire Dales) must perform a risk assessment of their mince pies, or their party will be "nixed".

Nanny's council have also ordered that posters will have to be displayed at the party, warning villagers that the pies contain nuts and suet pastry.

I know that there is currently a world wide nut phobia, as "little Timmy" once got one stuck in his throat. However, since when was suet a health and safety issue?

As if that were not enough, it seems that there has to be a thermometer thrust (can I say thrust at this time of the day?) into the hot chocolate, in case it is too hot.

How did we manage before the invention of thermometers?

Come to think of it, what if the thermometer contains mercury?

Ooh, it doesn't bear thinking about!

Steve Dobson, who is organising the event, said that he learned of the regulations after writing to Craven District Council to ask if he could use a car park outside Embsay village hall to hold the free party for the community.

Now you see folks, that was his big mistake.

Never, ever, tell Nanny what you are about to do; because she will always come along and try to spoil the party or stop you.

Why?

Simple, the sort of people who involve themselves actively with Nanny (such as jobsworth council lackeys etc) could never make anything of their lives in the real world. The only way that they can justify to themselves their existence on this planet, and to give themselves some sense of self worth, is to impose their fears and petty rules on the rest of us.

As I have said before, there is no value or useful purpose to local councils; we would be far better off if they were restructured into oblivion.

Anyhoo, Mr Dobson had planned a fireworks display, mulled wine, Santa's grotto and free mince pies (which would have been made by Nanny's arch enemy the good ladies of the Embsay and Eastby Women's Institute).

You know the sort of thing, nothing unsafe about any of that.

Not until Nanny came along.

Mr Dobson said:

"The council gave me a huge list of things we had to do.

I wrote back, a little bit tongue in cheek,

asking if I really had to risk assess free mince pies

and a brass band, and they said yes.

Everything we do, from putting tinsel up

to providing refreshments has to be assessed.

We have to consider the dangers involved,

that someone might choke on their mince pie or have a nut allergy.

I also understand that Santa may need a Criminal Records Bureau check.

For a small Dales village we found it a bit of a joke really.

It's gone from us hoping to use a bit of council property for a community party,

to needing the same sort of planning

we would have to put in for the Great Yorkshire Show."

Mr Dobson rather wisely is now considering moving the party to private land, elsewhere in the village. The trouble is, he has put his head above the parapet. Nanny will try her best to muscle in on that as well, and I bet charge him for the privilege.

Craven Council's director of community services, Jonathan Kerr, said:

"We support these community events

and we try to help local communities organise them

and make sure they are as safe as possible."

The astute amongst you will observe that the above statement, in the context of the problem, is meaningless.

Nanny does not even bother to try to pretend to justify her actions any more.

Breathtaking arrogance!

Feel free to tell Craven Council what you think of them via these routes:

-General contact contactus@cravendc.gov.uk

-Jonathan Kerr's PA lrichardson@cravendc.gov.uk

-The thirty councillors of Craven are listed here, Craven Council, together with their email addresses:)

Nanny Bans Santa II

Part of the magic of Christmas is for parents and their children to queue for hours on end in an overcrowded store, for the opportunity to visit a fat old man in a red costume, sit on his lap and then get a cheap plastic toy that breaks in five minutes.

Needless to say Nanny doesn't approve of this sort of thing, and has decided that it must be stopped.

Nanny is particularly concerned about the fact that children sit on Santa's lap, as we all know Nanny has told everyone that all adults are paedophiles.

This message is, because it is constantly repeated, now considered to be fact. Over the last couple of years regular "hue and cries" erupt in towns and cities across Britain, as the latest "paedo" suspect is identified by a baying mob.

These scenes are more reminiscent of the witch lynching mobs of the 16th century, rather than the "educated enlightened times" of the 21st. Indeed, one hapless paediatrician found himself on the wrong end of a mob only a year ago; because there was a sign outside his office containing the word paeditrician>

The ignorance of the mob, encouraged by Nanny, knows no bounds!.

Anyhoo, Nanny's attention has now turned to the threat posed by Santa, and the fact that children sit on his lap.

Quite clearly this poses an unacceptable risk, even though the child's parents are in the same room with Santa.

Small details like this do not concern Nanny, after all she is of the belief that the state is better at bringing up children than the parents.

Now department stores, toy shops and shopping centres have bowed to Nanny's will and have banned children from sitting on Santa's knee.

Instead, children must sit on a stool next to him and they are most certainly not allowed to touch him.

Alison Burney, of Dream Time Events, which provides the grotto at Bluewater shopping centre said:

"Unfortunately, people in this day and age just don't look favourably on a child sitting on Santa's knee.

So we train our Santas not to do it.

Having said that, if a toddler jumped into Santa's hands, then he wouldn't just drop the child."

That's reassuring!

At Lakeside shopping centre, Thurrock, a spokeswoman is quoted as saying:

"Children are not allowed to sit on Santa's knee

because all our Santas go through rigorous police checks,

and we're advised on the basis of that training to ask the Santas not to touch the children."

The magic of Nanny's Christmas!

Nanny Bans Santa

Christmas is coming,
The goose is getting fat
Stuff it!

Or so the old saying goes.

Anyhoo, Nanny and her sprites and elves have entered this season's festivities with their usual enthusiasm.

Nanny's sprites, working on Nanny's website www.teachernet.gov.uk, decided to offer some pre festive advice to those teachers planning Christmas activities for their pupils.

What was the advice?

Simple, ban Santa Claus!

It seems that according to Nanny, children need to be protected from "terrifying" Santa Claus. You see Santa is an overweight old man with a red face, who likes the company of children and asks them to sit on his lap.

Can you see the problem here folks?

That's right, in Nanny's Britain old fat people with red faces are considered to be sub human. Additionally, as every adult is in fact a paedophile, he is quite obviously a threat to the health and safety of the children.

Simple isn't it?

It is hardly surprising that, given the amount of negative Nanny spin gushed forth by the state about fat people, old people and the threats from paedophiles that children do find Santa a little frightening.

The website also said that staff organising school Christmas parties should take care not to arrange competitive games, with winners and losers; apparently this may upset the children, and make them feel they had "underperformed".

Message to Nanny, if you don't teach children to be competitive and to handle failure you leave them ill equipped to cope with the realities of life; in fact it could be argued that, by leaving them so ill prepared, you were in fact abusing them.

The advice on the website also had a go at pantomimes (where men dress as women, women dress as men and the principle "boy" is played by an attractive girl who gets to kiss an equally attractive female lead..now what on earth is wrong with taking children to watch that?) quote:

"For very young children, Father Christmas can be terrifying,

and if you are planning a visit from Santa, you'll need to make sure that fearful children are near an exit.

Trips to the pantomime can cause alarm, so the same planning applies.

Younger children in particular have a wide range of fears, many of which seem completely irrational to adults.

Many children dislike the dark or crowded rooms, so be sensitive to this if you are planning atmospheric lighting."

These people are allowed near children?

It is hardly surprising that we are breeding a nation of self centred, immature morons who are incapable of dressing themselves let alone looking after themselves.

The site went on to dig itself deeper into a hole by listing games that could be included in school parties, these games were devised by the "progressive" youth movement, the Woodcraft Folk.

Pass the sick bag, I think I'm going to throw up!

The advice said:

"Sometimes parties and organised games just reinforce differences and inequalities.

The last thing you want is for children to get anxious or upset because they feel they have underperformed, or not been successful.

If you do have games with winners, make sure that all children are given an opportunity to succeed where possible."

What utter...

wait for it..

wait for it...

BOLLOCKS!

Margaret Morrissey, of the National Confederation of Parent Teacher Associations, said: said:

"It is so sad that we have become so politically correct that we are trying to remove the magic of Christmas."

By the way children, can you guess what happened next?

That's right Nanny, as she always does when confronted by people who are actually prepared to stand up for themselves, took the site down and removed the "offending" pages.

Nanny then did her best to deny any responsibility, by saying that it did not represent official policy. A spokesman for the Department of Education squirmed:

"We fully support the traditional British Christmas.

This is not Government policy and was not produced by the department.

We have now withdrawn it as it does not reflect our views."

Questions:

-Why did Nanny put it up in the first place then?

-Isn't any one in charge at the Dept of Education?

The advice was put up because it accurately reflects the thinking of Nanny and her elves and sprites.

Nanny just doesn't have the courage to stand up for herself.

As such she deserves absolutely no respect.

Nanny Bans Christmas

Following on from yesterday’s post about Nanny’s friends in the TUC and RoSPA trying to stop people enjoying themselves at Christmas parties, it seems that Nanny’s friends in local councils and other organisations around Britain have been conspiring together to ban Christmas.

Here is a seasonal line up of some of the Nanny nonsense that threatens to spoil Christmas:

• My own borough of Croydon have managed to snuff out any vestige of Christmas cheer in the borough this year, as they have banned Christmas decorations in the main shopping centre (see this site’s post "Croydon’s Crappy Christmas”). Those of you who wish to see how bad Croydon really is to live in, are cordially invited to visit www.croydoniscrap.com



• The Red Cross have banned Advent calendars, and Christmas decorations in their shops, as they deem that they may offend non Christians



• Luton Council have given their Christmas lights the sinister sounding “Orwellian” name of Luminos. In their sick and perverted view of the world, the word Christmas is offensive to minorities



• Nanny’s friends in Camden Council followed suit by renaming their lights, Festive Lights



• Bury St Edmunds banned lights this year in case one fell on someone’s head.
  Jobsworth bosses at Jobcentres have banned Christmas decorations, they are a safety hazard!



• Tower Hamlets Council have banned their staff using the word “Christmas”, when they attend their “Ch***tmas” lunch



• Nanny’s Fourth Reich Council of Birmingham have banned Santa, as Santa is very offensive to non Christians

Now here’s a few radical thoughts, Ladies and Gentlemen:

• We do, do we not, live in a Christian country



• Our Prime Minister claims to be a practising Christian



• Christmas is a Christian festival



• We do not force non Christians to participate in Christian festivals



• We do not suppress other religions, unlike some countries

Therefore we, as the residents of a Christian country, are perfectly entitled to observe a Christian festival; without Nanny’s Gestapo, and Council scumbags, trying to ban it.

There will come a time, and seemingly that time is close at hand, when we the citizens of Britain will come to regard Britain as a foreign land; ie we will feel that we are strangers, and outsiders, in our own country!