Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Postman Pat

Postman Pat
Postman Pat
Postman Pat
He's a lazy twat

Pity the poor people of the peaceful hamlet of Cefn Minog, population: three, who woke up one morning to find that their entire community had been branded a health and safety hazard.

That is at least the conclusion drawn by one of Nanny's trolls, working for the dreaded Health and Safety Inspectorate.

Mr Jobsworth conducted a "risk assessment" of Cefn Minog, and concluded that it presented a clear and present danger to the health and safety of the local postal employees.

Nanny has ruled that the postmen must not deliver post in Cefn Minog again.

Nanny's troll identified three potential ways that a postman would be killed if he tried to bring a sack of letters up the slope. The grassy pastures apparently contain 23 hazards capable of inflicting major injury, six that could cause serious injury and two risking minor injury.

One of the deadliest obstacles, the inspector concluded, was a stile opposite Bettws Farm, near Abergavenny.

Marked as "harm potential", the report states:


Muscle/tendon strains or broken bones, cuts, grazes, bruising.

Hit by moving vehicle

The "probable severity" was listed as "fatality".

This came as news to William Jackson who is 79 and has a pacemaker, he walks across the same route every day to post his letters. Indeed there have been postmen coming to Cefn Minog since the reign of Victoria, without suffering any major fatality.

Great Gott, a farm, was identified by Nanny's troll as:

"A working farmyard with a muddy surface, loose stones and a raised cobbled area".

The report noted of dangers:

"Collision with farm vehicles/machinery.

Bumping into/striking against injuries

"Opening gate and climbing very steep footpath...

very strenuous exercise could bring on or worsen a medical condition

An alternative route would bring the post van along a track bordered by a dry-stone wall. This would cause:

"considerable jolting of driver at very low speed causing cumulative spinal or other back injuries".


"The driver could lose control of vehicle

skid, steering thrown by protruding stones or side of ruts causing vehicle to strike a tree or a wall,

or at worst

roll over on adverse camber striking against/bumping into injuries

Postcomm, the regulator that compiled the report, said:

"What looks like a quite pleasant country walk

could be a lethal stroll for a postman on a dark winter morning.

The health and safety assessor has to look on the bleak side

Utter bollocks!

How is it then that post is delivered to some of Britain's less than inviting tower blocks and council estates?

I would have thought that the postman would face far more life threatening dangers in those places.

A cynic might suggest that this report is being used as an excuse to avoid making a few deliveries that take the postman a little more time than others.


  1. Anonymous9:18 PM

    I am quite keen to follow up on the potential they found for back injuries driving up an allegedly bumpy lane.

    We have recently been hemmed in with speed humps. I see a direct parallel.

  2. Anonymous10:51 AM

    A cynic's probably right, this will be a cost cutting excuse from the business brains at the post office.

    Last year they announced that they will have to raise prices in order to deal with competition. Now it looks as if their next strategy for dealing with competitors is to get rid of customers.

    I've got some spare time any idea how I get hired as a business strategist?