Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, May 01, 2009

The Dangers of Teaspoons

My thanks to Paul, a regular follower of this site, who alerted me to an Nannyism that one of his wife's colleagues recently experienced when shopping in a Halifax branch of Asda.

The lady was trying to buy some teaspoons, and was flabbergasted to find that she needed ID.

The assistant informed her that it was because someone had murdered someone with a teaspoon, and therefore ID was now required.

What complete and utter bollocks!

By that reasoning they should also require id for numerous other times that they sell (lest they be used to kill people) eg:

- stockings can be used to strangle
- socks can be used to chock people
- cleaning fluids can be used to poison
- forks can be used to stab people
- frozen legs of lamb can be used to bludgeon people with etc

Asda are a bunch of Nanny loving twats!

Please fee free to add to the list of other "murder" weapons sold by Asda, then drop them a line via this feedback form Asda.

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  1. archroy10:25 AM

    Teatowel and a couple of bottle of diet cream-soda and you've got all the equipment for waterboarding an ASDA manager.

  2. Anonymous11:07 AM

    Seemingly Asda believe that nobody over 18 ever murdered anyone.

  3. I imagine then, that had Mr Sutcliffe gone into a shop to buy a hammer or a screwdriver, as long as he had ID he would have been sold them......What really is the point of asking for ID?....Perhaps it is just to get us used to producing ID to soften us up for the ID cards that will come in as the EUSSR wants them.
    Incidently Mr Sutcliffe was blinded when stabbed by a fellow patient in the eye with a felt tip pen....ID anyone?

  4. Here in London, Ontario, Canada, the city decided the way to eliminate the graffiti problem was to require ID (18 and older) for all purchases of markers and paint. The graffiti has gone from bad to worse. Great job!

    We sure are striving to be just like London, England. Although I doubt your Thames river is as polluted as ours. :(

  5. David J Hilton2:12 PM

    You just could not make this one up!

  6. Just about anything can be used to kill someone. Years ago I attended a 'demonstration' put on to show how every day objects could be used to take lives (please note this was a legitimate lecture for those working in the area of scenes of crime and forensics, I was not training to be a ninja assassin :) ). One such object was the humble credit card so one wonders whether ASDA will soon refuse to handle them lest an irate customer, forced to prove their identity when buying teaspoons viciously slay the assistant with their VISA card.

  7. Lord of Atlantis2:53 PM

    I thought for a moment I had gone back in time, when I read this, and that it was 1st April, not May!It seems, however, that just when I thought thinks could not possibly get any more insane, ASDA prove me wrong by coming up with this load of codswallop! If you are 'that way inclined' you can kill something with virtually anything, as several of our correspondants have pointed out. Precisely how is requiring ID supposed to stop them? Does Nanny ASDA suggest that ID should be required by ANYONE buying absolutely ANYTHING? Although murders have indeed been carried out by some of the younger members of society, they don't have a monopoly on this particular crime by a long way. Indeed some of the worst murderers (Fred West, Dr Shipman, Ian Brady, Myra Hyndley, the Yorkshire Ripper and Jack the Ripper, to give a few examples) were adults.

  8. Number 64:03 PM

    ID for teaspoons - spot on. This action alone will stop the mass killings on our streets, carried out by teaspoon wielding gang members. I applaud ASDA for helping Nanny protect us. As an added precaution I have removed all the teaspoons from my house,lest a tragedy akin to one of those American school shootings should occur if my kids get hold of these evil weapons of mass destruction.

  9. microdave4:13 PM

    Drinking too much water will kill you....

  10. In the WW2 days when I was growing up you went into a shop, bought what you wanted, paid, and left. Even if you didn't have an account, you could usually pay by cheque and were never asked for proof of identity, credit-worthiness or anything else.

    Nowadays people selling merchandise of all types are intent on collecting as much irrelevant personal information about their customers as they can. They usually describe it as "market research", "constructing a customer profile" or some similar inane piece of jargonese.

    Recently I wished to buy a pair of slippers from a justly famous and high-quality firm, so I started to do so through their website. Having specified my requirements, I came to a page where I was required to answer some obligatory questions before the purchase was finalised. One of the questions was "how old are you?"

    As I saw no necessity to tell them that, I phoned them and spoke to a very pleasant lady who explained it was because their MD was concerned to popularise their wares among younger people, and wished to know how many such customers they had.

    So I said "well, I am in my 80s but I see no necessity for your MD to know that in order to sell me a pair of slippers, and would you please pass that message on to him", which she promised to do. I then purchased the slippers, which are extremely comfortable.

    The extent to which people find nothing unusual in engaging in impertinent busybodying is really amazing.

  11. Julius Caesar2:50 PM

    You can always get your own back and mess up their "market research"
    by lying about your age!

  12. MerkinOnParis2:34 AM

    In my teaching days I used to use the 'Black Medicine' series, by Mashiro, as a reference.

    I hesitate to think what crimes I could be charged with now for merely having possession of said tomes.


    Don't make me laugh.

    My personal favourite is WD 40.

  13. Anonymous3:53 PM

    That receipt isn't all that easy to make out, you know.
    At first glance I read the manager's name as Peter Mandelson.

  14. The fatal mistake the shopper made was that he went on to buy everything that he was shopping for. At the point he was asked for ID, he should have said, "I will not show ID to buy spoons", dropped the basket, left the queue and simply walked out of the store. If everyone who hates this sort of thing did that, the stores who are doing this would soon reverse this nonsense. Your money is the most powerful weapon you have; withdrawing it is equivalent to a stabbing action at the heart of this evil nonsense.

  15. Tonk.7:14 PM


    I agree however, I would empty the packed shopping back out onto the checkout before leaving, this causes even more trouble for the shop as they then have to clear it up whereas, if you leave it all packed in the bags it takes them no time at all to remove it.

  16. Rob Farrington4:38 AM

    So can I now be arrested for Suspicious Behaviour While Carrying A Teaspoon?

    Dammit, if the government are going to try to take away my constitutional (I've heard that we actually do have a constitution, but that it's spread over several documents and buried somewhere in the British Library underneath the 1982 Buster Annual) rights this way, I'm going to carry the biggest calibre teaspoon I can find.

    I recommend the 7.62 mm GPTS, which is capable of 100 forehead taps per minute, under ideal conditions. It's also capable of a form of tracer fire, as long as you put fluorescent paint on the convex side.

    I will give up my teaspoon when they prise it from my cold, dead body.

  17. KatieL4:06 PM

    This happened to me a couple of years ago in a Tescos. The self-service till refused to sell me a pack of spoons until a staff member approved it.

    I asked why.

    They said it was to stop drug users purchasing spoons to cook stuff in.

    Which at least makes more sense than attempted murder with a spoon...

  18. Katiel

    Re using teaspoons to "cook drugs" two points:

    1 other everyday objects can be used instead

    2 it's not the role of the supermarket to create rules and regulations over and above those enacted by parliament (eg the id requirement for buying booze if you look under age for booze is 18)

  19. Anonymous4:32 PM

    Does it make Asda an accessory to the crime if you suffocate someone with one of their free plastic bags?


  20. Strangely, I can buy a canteen of ciutlery (including KNIVES) online, without ID.

  21. Night of the Long Spoons, anyone?


  22. Anonymous3:42 AM

    I am closely following the spread of the nanny state from America. I love you guys and all my ancestors are British. I have followed the progression of the disease from the banning of firearms to the banning of pocket knives, now to the banning of teaspoons, apparently.

    I have watched in horror as British police ran from hostile "Asian" mobs while being insulted.

    I know that this is not the British character. You are merely having a run of political madness.

    Well, please dig up your swords and put stop to this nanny state madness before it consumes all liberty. A lot of Americans are concerned about the state of your green and gentle land. I'd like to visit the home of my ancestors while it still is not covered by minarets and teaspoon killings.

  23. Anonymous4:18 PM

    I feel partly responsible for this heinous rise in spoon crime for suggesting something similar in my political blog last December:

    And they say we're too spoon-fed these days! Won't somebody think of the children?

  24. I was once asked for ID when buying scissors in Wilkinsons. It was Christmas time and I was also buying wrapping paper and sellotape. What did they think I was going to do? Wrap someone to death?

  25. i was thrown out of Asda in Clapham Junction, London once by armed police! beat that! - my crime? Two 16 year olds caught shoplifting told the security guard i was 'one of their gang' so the police who'd been called to deal with them questioned me.

    er, i am 50 years old ff! lol, and provided the attending armed and bulletproof vested police with the following ID i had with me at the time (shopping at 2a.m. in a 24hour asda en-route to my welsh residence) - One british passport, my limited company account chequebook & bank card, my personal chequebook, paying in book & bank card, my savings account books, 2 credit cards and a UK driving licence.

    The police said i still had to leave cos 'asda' despite my obvious id ability still wanted me removed. whatever. needless to say i dont shop in asda anymore, lol

  26. ASDA should be careful. By making themselves the Guardians of the Heinous Teaspoon, should anyone be murdered with one that was purchased at their stores, THEY will be held responsible for "wrongful teaspoon issuance."

  27. Monty P... 'come at me with that banananana' springs to mind, somehow... [shrug]

  28. Anonymous9:03 AM

    I'd like to know why you don't get ID'd for buying petrol and either soap, soap flakes or washing powder? It's poor mans napalm

    Its all gone completely mad. I mean a plastic toothbrush handle doesn't show up on metal detectors and is more than strong enough to puncture flesh. A quick check through my weekly shopping list and i get the following lethal weapons

    Razor blades = Cutting
    House hold cleaning products = exploding/poison
    Deodorant = flamethrowers/ explosives
    Sugar = explosives
    Petrol = explosives
    Hair dye = explosives/poison

    and the list goes on

  29. Anonymous9:02 AM

    Wow, how do tesco make more money from that move?

  30. Anonymous7:08 PM

    my 17 year old was able to buy cough medicine but not a spoon to take it with what on earth is the world coming to lol

  31. ID for teaspoons.. what a funny rule ! It's needed as per their statement but anybody who don't know about that will joke first.

  32. What else will I need ID for? Petrol:explosive AND flammable Baguettes:perfect for attacking French Plasic forks:also "deadly" Frozen pizzas:also as "deadly" as lamb joints Snickers bars:capable of giving people heavy bruises if thrown Pritt sticks:in case I try to get high Tinned food:lest I throw it at people Babybel cheese:perfect for throwing at lactose intolerants Herbs and spices:could trigger an allergic reaction Pork:offensive to Muslims Beef:offensive to Hindus