Nanny Bans Aida

Oh dear, I see that student Nanny has got her knickers in a twist over Verdi's opera Aida.

A Bristol University student production of the opera was cancelled amid a row over suggestions of “cultural appropriation”. Seemingly there were protests amid fears that white students would be cast as leads, and expected to portray Ancient Egyptians and slaves.

All very noble and "aware" of the students maybe. However, how many ancient Egyptian opera singers are studying at Bristol?

Surely the absence of ancient Egyptian student opera singers means that the parts will have to be taken by non ancient Egyptians?

Unsurprisingly people think that this decision is laughable bollocks.

Rupert Christiansen, the Telegraph opera critic, said:

“Where will the mealy-mouthed nonsense peddled by ideologues in Bristol stop? If something doesn’t laugh it to extinction, Verdi’s entire oeuvre could fall under the axe.”

Students can be remarkably intolerant and closed minded!

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Prats of The Week - Bristol City Council

Hoozah, 'tis another Monday morning; and therefore time to award one of my prestigious, and internationally, renowned "Prats of The Week" Awards!

This week it goes to Bristol City Council, who have combined prattery with a wee bit of ker farking ching.

Anyhoo, for why am I awarding the council this award?

Just ask Abus, a Bristol bus company, whose drivers have been issued with parking tickets for....can you guess children?

Yes, that's right, waiting in city centre bus stops!

Ker farking ching!

Abus owner, Alan Peters, told the BBC that the council agreed his buses could wait at quiet stops before picking up passengers.

However, Nanny's chums from Bristol City Council said that tickets were issued when buses were pulled up for more than five minutes due to "considerable demand" from operators.

Mr Peters said over the past two years, his drivers have been issued with an average of one parking ticket per month, the majority of which he has successfully appealed against.

"Ninety per cent of the tickets have been rescinded but I still have to write the appeal and sometimes go to a parking tribunal. It's all time-consuming."

Bristol City Council gave a jobsworth meaningless response:

"We are aware of the situation with Abus and have advised them of the current situation with regards to enforcement action. 

We are looking, as stated, to finding a working solution."

Bristol City Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Nanny Bans Breaking Wind

My commiserations to the Hacker family who tried to have a picnic, away from the irritations and intrusions of life, on the Clifton Downs.

Unfortunately, they made one fatal error.

They forgot that Nanny is omnipresent.

The Hackers, more or less alone on the part of the Downs they had selected for their picnic, put up a windbreak to shelter them from the blustery conditions which would have blown their paper plates away (which of course would be construed as litter).

In the distance they observed a vehicle approaching.

Can you guess who was in that vehicle children?

Yes, that's right, council enforcement officers (can someone tell me exactly what specific law an "enforcement officer" is meant to enforce, or is it any rule he likes to make up?).

Council enforcement officers stopped their car and got out, they then ordered the Hackers to take down the windbreak.

For why?

It is deemed by Nanny to be a 'semi-permanent structure'.

Semi permanent structures are banned by the by-laws of the area, according to the enforcement officers a windbreak is a semi permanent structure.

However, the rather odd thing is that the leaflet given to the Hackers explaining the rules did not mention windbreaks (only gazebos and tents).

Could it be that the enforcement officers were making the rules up as they went along.

By the way, as soon as the windbreak had been taken down the paper plates were blown away.

When questioned by the media over this nonsense, Bristol City Council admitted that their employees had gone over the top.

Bit late now isn't it?

As usual Nanny has got away with it, and would have continued to make the rules up as she went along had the media not humiliated her.

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Prats of The Week - Long Ashton Golf Club

Lawks a Mercy!

More than a wee bit of time has passed since I awarded my world famous and much coveted "Prats of The Week" Award, it is most surely time to dole out another one.

This week it goes to the numpties in charge of the restaurant at Long Ashton Golf Club in Bristol.

For why?

They have sacked Olive Bater, their 83 year old washer up of the past 22 years.

Over the last 22 years (six days a week) Mrs Bater has washed the dishes, estimated at being 3 million pieces in all, at the club without ever taking a single day off sick.

So why have they sacked her?

Can you guess children?

Yes, that's right, health and safety!

Mrs Bater was told that the job posed an "immense" health risk.

Come again?

As Mrs Bater says:

"All I do is put dishes in a dishwasher, where's the health and safety problems in that?"

Secretary of the club, Victoria Rose said:

"There are immense health and safety issues to take into account in such a potentially dangerous environment."

Errmmm...they are what precisely?

There are thousands of kitchens across the country where humans wash (allegedly) the dishes, are these all to be closed because of health and safety?

A cynic might suggest that they dispensed with Mrs Bater because they deemed her to be "too old", of course I am not a cynic.

Wrt "health and safety" rulings such as this, they are invariably used as the catch all excuse by pen pushing bureaucrats afraid of their own shadows. These people are too gutless to take responsibility for anything at all, and seek to use procedures and imaginary "risks" to hide behind when confronted with having to make any form of decisions.

These people infest every aspect of our lives and, for reasons that I cannot understand, have been entrusted with power over us.

People such as these are the ones who should be sacked!

Long Ashton Golf Club, well deserving Prats of The Week.

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Plod Goes To The Chippie

It does seem that Nanny's state police force is getting a little bit full of itself, as Andrew Carter discovered to his cost recently.

Mr Carter observed a police van reversing the wrong way up a one-way street in Bristol, in fact it almost knocked him over, and rather unwisely challenged it.

He was told by one of the cuntstables driving the van to:

"F*** off, this is police business."

What precisely was this urgent police business?

Errmm...they were on the way to the chip shop!

Mr Carter then photographed the police van outside the chip shop.

Can you guess what happened next?

Yes, that's right, PC Aqil Farooq told him he was under arrest for assault, resisting arrest and being drunk and disorderly.

Mr Carter was then handcuffed and bundled into the back of the van, locked in a police cell for five hours, forced to give a sample of his DNA and had his fingerprints taken. After his release he spent a week on bail, before he was he told he would not be charged.

PC Farooq and a woman officer claimed they needed to visit the takeaway shop to view CCTV footage.

Farooq was made to apologise in person to Mr Carter but he still has his job.

Avon and Somerset deputy chief constable Rob Beckley wrote to Mr Carter, apologising for the officer's 'totally unacceptable' behaviour.

Errmmm...is that it then?...a false arrest was made, ie the police lied, and all that happens is that an apology is made?

What kind of state are we living in?

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