The Dead Hand of Bureaucracy

Here is a little story highlighting Nanny's "bloody mindedness", that relates to the recently passed New Year's eve.

Newquay as many a teenager knows is "party central", and indeed the local economy is propped up by the surf and booze environment encouraged by the local council.

Anyhoo, come New year's eve people were expecting a wee drinky or two.

Not so fast me hearties!

Newquay's Central Square suffered from a lack lustre atmosphere, as a result of police telling the Central Inn not to not play music outside the premises.

Now, as we know from previous articles on this site, Nanny does not authorise bars, shops, garages etc to play music (even turning on the radio) unless they pay (Ker Farking Ching) a fee for a licence.

Anyhoo, bar managers were only told a few days before the piss up that they would have to get a temporary event licence to play music outside or lose their licence if music was heard.

Ker farking ching!

Needless to say, as I am sure the police were well aware, the bureaucracy involved required that they give notice considerably earlier than they did if the bar managers could have a chance to obtain the licence.

Nanny will use every trick in the book in order to ensure we don't enjoy ourselves.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Big Society?

Nanny's so called "Big Society" may or may not be quite as "big" as we were led to believe. Those who publicly "swim against the tide" of whatever the media/politicians deem to be the "big society" will find themselves ostracised.

The departure of Lord Young, David Cameron's "enterprise tsar" and scourge of "red tape and health and safety", may well backfire on the government.

It most certainly can be argued that Lord Young, given that he is a very experienced politician, should have known that by saying that those who have mortgages have "never had it so good" that his words would be twisted by the media.

However, he is technically correct. Those with mortgages and jobs are better off in this recession, with low interest rates, than they would have been in earlier recessions when rates were higher.

He also noted that the spending cuts are not as "harsh" as they are being made out to be. In fact the "cuts" will take government spending back to levels last seen in...wait for it...2007! Also bear in mind that the national debt stands at a staggering £4.8 Trillion, the cuts are but a "gnat's piss" when compared to that figure.

With regard to the loss of 0.5M public sector jobs, this should be taken against a backdrop of a workforce that numbers 30M and the fact that there are many public sector jobs (eg back office diversity officers etc) that are non jobs.

Needless to say, if you have no job or are on a very low income and rely on the state then the recession will bite.

Lord Young though was pointing out that the self flagellation of the government and media, over the depth and harshness of the recession and cuts, may well in fact be overdone.

His straight talking advice and commonsense wrt cutting bureaucracy and rolling back the state (which is responsible for getting the country into this mess) will be badly missed.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Un Farking Believable!

Many thanks to all of you yesterday who wrote in with suggestions as to what the "3000" story was about.

Sadly, I am still at a loss as to what I was going to write about.

Could it be senility kicking in?

Anyhoo, moving on, I read that we live in the age of miracles where limbs grow back as if by magic.

That at least is the view of Nanny's chums from Nottinghampshire County Council, as Lance Corporal Johno Lee has discovered to his cost.

Lance Corporal Lee lost one of his legs in Afghanistan in 2008, trying bravely on the instructions of our "beloved" government to bring a country still in the Middle Ages into the 21st century.

For reasons best known to the council they have denied him a disabled parking badge three times, as such he has clocked up £800 in fines for parking in disabled bays in his home town of Newark.

Seemingly the council are of the view that Lane Corporal Lee is "young", and "may get better".

Yes, they really did say that!

I know the Pope is coming and all that, but even his presence will not gestate the regrowing of a limb.

Now the media are crawling all over the case the council's Service Director, Paul McKay, said:

"We are looking into the matter and have arranged for a member of staff to meet Mr Lee to review the situation. We will urgently assess whether he meets the criteria for a disabled parking badge as laid down by the Department of Transport."

Call me simple, but either he has two legs or he doesn't?

Un Farking Believable!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Fishy Business

My sympathies to Clive Roberts, a voluntary hospital worker at the University Hospital of Wales, who recently fell foul of Nanny's fish protection rules.

Mr Roberts maintains the pond in the hospital and, because it was about to be drained, used his brains and scooped up the 60 fishy occupants of the pond into a bucket to move them to his own garden pond for temporary housing.

Can you guess what happened next loyal readers?

Yes, that's right, Nanny's Environment Agency told him that he had not followed proper procedures (ie he needed a formal licence to move the goldfish - the rule is there to prevent the spread of disease).

He was worried that he faced the prospect of prosecution and, surprise surprise, a fine of £1K.

Our government, as clearly stated by an outgoing Treasury bod, has no money left. Therefore they, and their minions, will use every trick in the book to bleed us dry.

However, it seems that the media publicity may have caused the EA to back off, they seem to be indicating that they will not take any action.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

A Nation of Paedophiles - The Olympics

Britain's absurd anti adult contact with child laws yet again cause chaos, this time wrt under 18 volunteers for the London Olympics.

Read The Olympics Age Limit.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The System

Listening to our "walking dead" Prime Minister the other day, prattling on about how "the system" (wrt MPs' expenses) was at fault for the claims for floating duck islands, fake mortgages, moats etc I was struck by how what the PM said exemplifies the very heart of the problem of the Nanny state.

The PM ignored the fundamental issue, it is not the system that is at fault but the people. It was not compulsory for our MPs to claim for duck islands and moats, they did so voluntarily and with gusto!

The PM and these greedy MPs are using the "procedures" argument as a defence, in exactly the same manner that a doctor, social worker, police officer, teacher, FSA CEO or council officer uses "rules and procedures" to justify what they do and to justify their mistakes.

How many times have we heard the phrase "we followed the procedures"?

That is meaningless if the end result is failure/death, or a cold hearted application of a petty rule.

Nanny's rules and procedures proactively encourage people to stop thinking for themselves and taking personal self responsibility for their own actions/mistakes.

The PM so eloquently highlighted (unintentionally) the very weakness at the heart of the Nanny state; namely, no one needs to ever take personal responsibility anymore, so long as they follow procedures.

Without personal responsibility, individuality, risk taking and thinking outside of the box we are most assuredly set on the path to our own self destruction; as we drown in bureaucracy and petty rules, all of which have been designed to suffocate initiative and growth.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Governmentium

Not my own work, but it tickled my fancy:)

Governmentium

New element discovered

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Dead Hand of Bureacracy - Red Tape

It should come as no surprise to any sensible thinking person that the more red tape and bureaucracy, the less inclined people are to try to wade their way through it.

Needless to say, Nanny and her acolytes don't view the world in this way. They have an inherent love of bureaucracy and form filling; in fact they positively delight in making things as complicated as possible.

Baroness Julia Neuberger, the chairwoman of the Commission on the Future of Volunteering, recognises this problem. She recently stated that a fundamental shake-up is needed to make volunteering "part of the DNA of our society".

The commission's report calls for barriers to be removed to help develop volunteering. Seemingly, and this is not surprising, people are being put off from volunteering because of the mass of paperwork that has to be completed in order for them to volunteer.

Baroness Neuberger said:

"Our vision is a society where volunteering is part of our DNA so that – by giving time – we enrich our own lives and those of others. But, at the moment too many people are being put off.

Many people come forward to offer their time and skills, but red tape and unnecessary bureaucracy get in the way.

It is time to rethink the obsession with any risks that might be involved and to remove financial obstacles which many people experience when they try to volunteer. We also need to avoid time-consuming criminal record checks, unless volunteers are working with children or vulnerable adults."

She is right, Nanny has a very unhealthy obsession with risk.

The commission's report, Manifesto for Change, said that the best thing that Nanny could do was to support volunteering by "non-interference" and resisting the temptation to develop new initiatives.

Fat chance!

Nanny's Cabinet Office spokesman said:

"We welcome this final report from the commission. We will consider its recommendations carefully and respond to it comprehensively in February."

Here is a small heads up for you; whenever a bureaucrat, politician or company director uses the phrase:

"We welcome this report..."

be assured that what they mean is they hate the fact that you have pointed something out that they wanted kept quiet, and will now do everything they can to obfuscate and delay.

Nanny Bans Nanny

Well, there's a title that I never thought that I would write.

It seems that Nanny has got her knickers in a twist over Nannyism, and is rather upset by the fact that we are all upset by her, as such she has come to the conclusion that she has been far too strict with us.

Her solution?

Simple, she has set up a new government body to...errmm...look into cases of "excessive" Nannyism (eg anything mentioned on this site) and issue edicts and advice against them.

So, just in case you haven't quite grasped that, Nanny is going to set up another Nanny organisation to lecture herself and us about the danger of Nanny.

That helps us how?

Wouldn't it be better to scale back on the bureaucracy, reduce the number of 'elf and safety jobsworths, cut back on 'elf and safety rules and abolish local councils?

Well, of course it would!

However, Nanny doesn't work like that.

The new body is called the Risk and Regulation Advisory Council (a warm, cuddly name if ever I heard one...not expensive to run I assume?), it has a nice little website (interim website) which starts off:

"On taking office as Prime Minister, Gordon Brown committed to taking the Better Regulation agenda to a new level by focusing upstream at where policy-making engages with risk. This is the critical starting-point of the regulatory process. It is here that culture and process must achieve a better understanding of public risk:

The Government believes that policy-making would benefit considerably from a fuller and more rounded consideration of public risk. I have asked the Better Regulation Commission, building on its report 'Risk, Responsibility and Regulation', to devise a structure and approach that ensures that this ambition is embedded in real policy action, even when facing pressures to react to events."

Pass the sick bag someone!

Any organisation that kicks off by using phrases such as "upstream" and "policy-making engages with risk" clearly has no concept of the real world, and no intention of simplifying Nanny's edicts.

These people are up their own backsides (so to speak). In fact, if you look at the website you will see that RRAC appears to have been tagged onto a body that has been in existence for some years now, The Department for Business Enterprise and Regulatory reform (BERR contains numerous committees) that itself recommended the creation of RRAC.

As per the website:

"The RRAC will initially consist of seven people, including the Chair, Rick Haythornthwaite, drawn from the pool of strategic regulatory experience in the Better Regulation Commission."

It is basically a version of BERR, and will grow like crazy "initially consist of..."

I would venture to suggest that if BERR had being doing its job properly, it would not have needed to create another quango to mull over the creation of even more regulations.

FYI, the chairman of RRAC is Rick Haythornthwaite. He used to be chairman of the Better Regulation Commission (BRC), which is meant to provide independent advice to government, from business and other external stakeholders, about new regulatory proposals and about the Government's overall regulatory performance.

Has that body cut down on government regultions and bureacracy, since it was formed in 2005?

Errmmm...no it hasn't.

Seems like a case of jobs for the boys to me.

I think it fair to say that this is Smiler Brown's attempt at catching the wave of public repulsion and opinion re Nanny; he has absolutely no intention of lightening Nanny's grip on us, as he is a control freak.

BTW, RRAC will be starting a campaign soon whereby Nanny will tell us how important it is to be self reliant...that will be a laugh, rich pickings for this site I shouldn't wonder!

I wonder how much this little "initiative" from Nanny will cost us?

Quite how you contact these people directly is a little unclear (policy being made up on the hoof as it were?).

However, here is a link to BERR enquiries@berr.gsi.gov.uk.

I suggest to point them to this site, which has been doing their job for them since 2004.

To repeat myself again:

Wouldn't it be better to scale back on the bureaucracy, reduce the number of 'elf and safety jobsworths, cut back on 'elf and safety rules and abolish local councils?