The Dangers of Magazines

Oh dear, even a hardened cynic such as myself was a tad surprised/gobsmacked by a recent piece of Nanny health and safety nonsense concerning magazines in a dentist's waiting room.

For reasons best known to Nanny, one of her NHS infection control workers recently advised Monica Symes, a dentist in Lyme Regis, to get rid of old magazines from her waiting room because they posed an infection risk.

For good measure the Nanny clone also said that the Blu-Tack being used to stick posters to the walls also posed a health risk.

I appreciate that people are nervous when visiting the dentist (I myself have to consume a bucketful of vodka before going anywhere near one), but I doubt very much that people start to lick the magazines of chew on Blu-Tack whilst waiting.

Unsurprisingly, since the media furore erupted over this nonsense, Nanny's NHS regulator has denied any such health and safety rule exists!

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Prats of The Week - The Government

Hey Hoh!

Despite being in the midst of an "exciting" and "stimulating" general election it should not distract me from awarding my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to the government and MPs in general.

I think we can all agree on that can't we?

For why have I awarded the government this award?

Well, aside from the so many obvious reasons, I cite the new rules introduced by Nanny (ie the government) wrt drinks promotions.

It seems that the rules have caused so much confusion (as they are poorly drafted) that licensees are being urged to check with their council or police first, that any drinks promotions that they are running do not fall foul of the new mandatory code of practice.

The Home Orifice published the full guidance on the code, which took effect at the start of this tax year.

The guidance identifies what Nanny deems to be an "irresponsible" promotion. However, later, it says that the government is not banning happy hours, pub crawls or general discounting of alcohol per se.

With me so far?

Here though is what Nanny wants banned:

- Drinking games – any form of speed drinking game

- Large quantities of alcohol for free, or at a fixed or discounted price eg 'all-you-can-drink for £10' (please can someone tell me where I can go to drink for £10???)

- Prizes and rewards – 'drink four pints get the fifth free'

- Sporting events – promotions like 'half price drinks when England score a goal'

- Posters and flyers – adverts that 'condone, encourage or glamorise anti-social behaviour or refer to getting drunk in any positive way'

- No alcohol can be dispensed directly into the mouth eg 'the dentist's chair'

However, and here is where it really gets confusing, the Home Orifice says that the list is not exhaustive and 'substantially similar activities' are also banned. In other words the state, and its unelected enforcers, can decide what constitutes a "banned activity".

Oh, and by the way, Nanny then goes on to warn publicans that breaching the code is a criminal offence and could mean a fine of up to £20K or six months in prison.

Ker farking ching!

The government and MPs in general (who vote through sloppy legislation), well deserving "Prats of The Week"!

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The Doctor is In

Those of you who are fed up with the waiting lists to see doctors and dentists could consider becoming a traveller.

Nanny has advised primary health care trusts to fast track travellers above other patients.

Seemingly, under race laws, gypsies and travellers are defined as minority ethnic groups and the NHS is obliged to consider their special needs and circumstances.

The irony is that no other ethnic group receives such special treatment.

The Department of Health is quoted in The Mail:

"This should not be to the detriment of service provision to the settled community."

So that's alright then?

No it's not alright, the NHS just about manages to "function" with the exponential demand for its services by rationing them. Rationing only works if everyone is treated equally.

This is a recipe for disaster.

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The Joy of Salt

Nanny Knows Best now contains 958 articles detailing the evils of the Nanny state, the very first article I wrote on the 18th of September 2004 about Nanny's campaign against salt was entitled "Sid The Slug".

Why this little history lesson?

Today I now have incontrovertible proof that Nanny, in her campaign against salt, was talking a load of bollocks.

Salt is, in fact, good for you.

Yesterday I had to go to the dentist, as one of my teeth had shattered and lost a filling (in fact two other fillings had also been lost a few years ago...but I have an aversion to dentists, needles and having tools poked into my mouth, so I have chickened out until now).

However, I took the bull by the horns yesterday and gritted my teeth (what was left of them) and duly proceeded (via a pub) to the dentist.

I was expecting to be told that there was decay in at least two of the teeth that had lost the fillings.

Guess what?

Not a sign of decay!

Why was this?

Simple, as my dentist explained, were I cursed with a sweet tooth then I would be riddled with decay. However, dear readers, I am not sweet toothed I consume a diet based on flesh and salt. It is that diet of flesh and salt that in fact has saved my teeth.

Salt is good!

I would in fact point out that many years ago, when I was a small child, my mum would buy blocks of sea salt (12 inches, by 4 inches, by 4 inches) wrapped in blue paper. She would give me the task of shaving them down with a knife (ooh, aren't knives dangerous), and whilst doing so I would always take a chunk and crunch on it..I like salt.

Indeed my grandfather, on my mum's side of the family, always had a few packets of salt in his pocket which he would munch on. He died aged 84 or so.

Salt is good for you!

Nanny's campaign against salt is therefore founded on nothing but flaky science and a lack of research.

FYI, those looking for a first class dentist in the Croydon area should try bluedental (Eva and I are very impressed with them)....and no, they haven't paid me for giving them a free plug.