Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Prats of The Week - The Government

Hey Hoh!

Despite being in the midst of an "exciting" and "stimulating" general election it should not distract me from awarding my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to the government and MPs in general.

I think we can all agree on that can't we?

For why have I awarded the government this award?

Well, aside from the so many obvious reasons, I cite the new rules introduced by Nanny (ie the government) wrt drinks promotions.

It seems that the rules have caused so much confusion (as they are poorly drafted) that licensees are being urged to check with their council or police first, that any drinks promotions that they are running do not fall foul of the new mandatory code of practice.

The Home Orifice published the full guidance on the code, which took effect at the start of this tax year.

The guidance identifies what Nanny deems to be an "irresponsible" promotion. However, later, it says that the government is not banning happy hours, pub crawls or general discounting of alcohol per se.

With me so far?

Here though is what Nanny wants banned:

- Drinking games – any form of speed drinking game

- Large quantities of alcohol for free, or at a fixed or discounted price eg 'all-you-can-drink for £10' (please can someone tell me where I can go to drink for £10???)

- Prizes and rewards – 'drink four pints get the fifth free'

- Sporting events – promotions like 'half price drinks when England score a goal'

- Posters and flyers – adverts that 'condone, encourage or glamorise anti-social behaviour or refer to getting drunk in any positive way'

- No alcohol can be dispensed directly into the mouth eg 'the dentist's chair'

However, and here is where it really gets confusing, the Home Orifice says that the list is not exhaustive and 'substantially similar activities' are also banned. In other words the state, and its unelected enforcers, can decide what constitutes a "banned activity".

Oh, and by the way, Nanny then goes on to warn publicans that breaching the code is a criminal offence and could mean a fine of up to £20K or six months in prison.

Ker farking ching!

The government and MPs in general (who vote through sloppy legislation), well deserving "Prats of The Week"!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

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  1. Ker-farking-Ching indeed Ken, as I have mooted on here before; The criminal justice system has become an extension to HMRC.

  2. in the midst of an "exciting" and "stimulating" general election

    Are you watching the same one as I am Ken? All I'm seeing is the Liars Club AGM..

  3. Most of the stuff they have banned probably only happens in students unions these days anyway. Pubs havent done stuff like that for years.
    They havent got a clue what they are talking about.

  4. "No alcohol can be dispensed directly into the mouth"

    So in future the barman is going to shove a hose up your arse and dispense your booze of choice straight to the colon is he?

    "Pint of Old Poachers Gumboot Sir? Right you are, if you'd like to drop your trousers and bend over..."

  5. For me it always comes down to the government dicatating to private business owners how they can run their businesses. It is restraint of free trade. But Nanny hates the entrepraneur spirit as people who make their own money arent dependant on Nanny. So she had to weild power thru other petty avenues.

  6. No prizes or rewards?

    Does that mean I can't get a shag out of 'fag ash Lil' in exchange of a half of snakebite?

  7. Anonymous9:16 PM

    In this case you (or rather - 'they') CAN make it up as you go along.

  8. Number 610:43 AM

    Indeed, more nanny bull from arseholes who get arseholed on subsidised booze in the commons bar. Please call time on all of them and vote UKIP at least Nigel Farage is an acknowleged piss artisty and supporter of real ale and the great British pub!