Nanny Bans Gay

I was gemused to read that Nanny's chums in Channel 4 managed to tie themselves in knots the other day, whilst trying to work out if they should be pc or unoffensive.

The result being that they were too pc and ended up offending a section of our community.

What did Nanny's chums in Channel 4 do?

They banned the word "gay" from a lunchtime episode of the Simpsons, because they deemed that it was not suitable for a daytime audience.

The Telegraph reports that line was cut from a 1994 episode called "Homer Loves Flanders" which aired just before 1pm last Sunday.

In the episode Homer Simpson goes to an American football match with his God-fearing neighbour Ned Flanders but is initially embarrassed to be seen with him.

The pair bond and Homer yells: "I want everyone to know that this is Ned Flanders ... my friend!"

His workmates Lenny and Carl overhear him and Lenny says: "What d'he say?"

Originally Carl replies: "I dunno. Somethin' about being gay."

Channel 4 claim that the cut was made by an overly cautious compliance checker.

As far as I am aware "gay" can refer to something/someone being cheerful, or a person who is homosexual or a thing/event that is deemed to be rubbish.

As with any word or phrase, context is the key to determining whether that word or phrase is intended to be offensive.

It is clear that in this case the word was not used in an offensive manner, yet Channel 4 by censoring it managed to give the impression that being gay is offensive/wrong.

Beware the power of censors who impose their own views of morality on the rest of us!


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Councils Are The Enemies of The People

As loyal readers know, I often state that councils are the enemies of the people; step forward Stratford-on-Avon District Council that threatened to fine Barbara Ray (82) £50K and send her to jail for 12 months.

What was her heinous "crime"?

Nothing more than have her gardener sweep fallen leaves from outside her three bedroom bungalow in Stratford-upon-Avon into the roadside.

As the Telegraph reports, the council took a very dim view of this and threatened to prosecute Mrs Ray for fly tipping. It seems that in Nanny's dictatorship of Stratford-on-Avon sweeping the leaves from her driveway into the tree lined road is illegal.

The fact that Mrs Ray had done this for many years cut no ice, in fact Nanny's chums had even gone to the trouble of photographing her gardener sweeping the leaves into the street.

Oddly enough, since the firestorm of media publicity, Nanny has now backed down (as she always does) and has dropped her threat to prosecute after Mrs Ray promised to stop the sweeping. For good measure she rejected Nanny's offer to supply her with a second green bin, for a £35 charge.

She will now put the leaves into refuse sacks, which a friend will drive to the council waste disposal centre.

A council jobsworth attempted to extricate his masters from the shit, by claiming that the letter threatening Mrs Ray with a fine and jail was addressed to “The Household”, not Mrs Ray herself.

So that's alright then!

Given that leaves constitute fly tipping, and given that the leaves are falling from the trees "owned" by the council, would it not be feasible for the citizens of Stratford-on-Avon to fine the council for fly tipping?

As noted many times before, councils are the enemies of the people!

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Nanny Bans Sparklers

I trust and assume that you all had a pleasant and accident free Bonfire Night last night?

Our cat was remarkably relaxed about the whole affair, and the bangs and whistles around our house went off without causing any damage as far as I can see.

My commiserations to those who paid good money to attend public events where Nanny and the insurance companies did their best to put the mockers on it.

The Mail reports that the Round Table Group organised around 70 events across the country, where it seems that the health and safety/insurance rules had to be zealously applied wrt spectators not being allowed to bring in sparklers.

At one of the displays on Saturday night in Moseley, Birmingham, a large sign stated ‘Strictly no sparklers’ on site. Around 3,000 people attended, paying £5 for adults and £2 for children to enter. But anybody who attempted to light sparklers were told to extinguish them immediately.

Sigh!

In my day all manner of dodgy fireworks were freely available eg; jumping jacks, helicopters, bangers etc. Sadly many of these are now consigned to the dustbin of history, because they are deemed to be dangerous.

But sparklers???!!

OK, I admit that once I did mange to burn my hand on a dead sparkler; but that was my own stupid fault.

BTW, did anyone ever manage to get a jumping jack that actually worked satisfactorily?


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Come Squeeze My Cox's Orange Pippins

I am ungemused to see that Nanny, in her quest for maximum health and safety, has taken steps to erode yet another part our national culture and heritage.

This time Nanny has taken umbrage at the cries of market traders.

For why?

Nanny is concerned that traders who yell their wares and prices to passing punters may damage the hearing of those around them.

The result?

Nanny's chums from North Lincolnshire council have banned stallholders at Scunthorpe Market from shouting about their lovely pears etc etc.

The Mail reports that greengrocer Simon Stanley has been banned from the market and given a £1,000 legal fee for breaking the rule. Others have also faced the threat of bans and legal fees.

It seems that the council is using a new charter as the bedrock for its "right" to ban the cries of market traders.

There is one wee problem with the charter, it was imposed without discussion on the traders and not one of them has signed it; ie the council has turned dictator.

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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The Bells - The Tyranny of The Minority

Loyal readers, with good memories not addled by booze, age or illicit substances, may recall that on occasions I have written about towns and villages where the complaints of a minority (usually one newcomer) cause the silencing of church/clock bells (eg Wrington).

Anyhoo, it seems the tyranny of the minority has now blighted Kendal.

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me in the direction of the Westmorland Gazette, which reports that a date on which Kendal’s town hall bells will historically fall silent overnight has still not been set.

They are due to be turned off between 11pm and 7am for the first time since the Second World War, after complaints about ‘nuisance noise’.

It seems that whoever protested about the noise triggered an investigation which revealed sound levels were ‘unacceptable’, and in breach of environmental health laws.

The reason for the delay in silencing the bells is that it is a specialist job and it requires parts and labour that may have to be ordered.

Suffice to say, the poor old taxpayer will have to pay for this.

The tyranny of the minority is expensive!


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The Dangers of Santa

Having survived Halloween the next seasonal marketing gimmick is Christmas.

Unsurprisingly Nanny and her chums have a few words of "wisdom" on that subject. Step forward Pamela McColl, a publisher and anti smoking campaigner, who has (surprise surprise) published a new version of the poem about Santa, attributed to Clement C Moore.

In the original version there is the line (accompanied by a picture of Santa smoking):

"The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth / And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath."

Not anymore there isn't!

Ms McColl has published a new version of the poem without the line and without the picture.

She is quoted by the Telegraph:

“I just really don’t think Santa should be smoking in the 21st century.” 

Funny, I thought that Santa was a fictional character!

Ms McColl is of the view that by "removing these words we may save lives and avoid influencing new smokers.”

Snort!

How convenient and odd that she ignores the fact that Santa is overweight and red faced, surely his obesity also encourages children to eat like pigs?

As with all these single issue obsessives, McColl ignores that point.

“He doesn’t eat in the story. 

That’s not my issue. 

That's Jamie Oliver and other people’s issue.”

Oh and by the way, heaven forfend that someone remembers that he encourages children to sit on his lap!

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