Give Nanny An Inch

Give Nanny an inch, and she will take a mile.

Such was the case for Andrew Wilson, a window cleaner from Lincol, who recently had the misfortune of parking his van in his own driveway in such a manner that one inch of it overhung the yellow lines of his street.

Needless to say a traffic warden duly appeared and presented him with a £70 fine.

The van was parked near the end of the driveway because of building work going on at a neighbour's property.

Mr Wilson is quoted by the Mail of accusing Lincolnshire County Council of 'milking people of every penny':

"It's a £70 fine but if you pay it in 14 days then it's £35. 

I'm not going to pay it. 

I've appealed against it and sent the photos I took. 

I have been living here for three and a half years and the yellow lines have always been there but I've never had a problem. 

'After 6pm you don't need a permit so the traffic wardens are always down there at like 5.30pm trying to catch people out.  I've seen them scraping the ice off trying to look for permits. 

'It is just stupid. It is milking us for every penny we have. It is disgusting."

The council will investigate and cancel the ticket, if they find it has been issued in error.

We shall see!


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Come Squeeze My Cox's Orange Pippins

I am ungemused to see that Nanny, in her quest for maximum health and safety, has taken steps to erode yet another part our national culture and heritage.

This time Nanny has taken umbrage at the cries of market traders.

For why?

Nanny is concerned that traders who yell their wares and prices to passing punters may damage the hearing of those around them.

The result?

Nanny's chums from North Lincolnshire council have banned stallholders at Scunthorpe Market from shouting about their lovely pears etc etc.

The Mail reports that greengrocer Simon Stanley has been banned from the market and given a £1,000 legal fee for breaking the rule. Others have also faced the threat of bans and legal fees.

It seems that the council is using a new charter as the bedrock for its "right" to ban the cries of market traders.

There is one wee problem with the charter, it was imposed without discussion on the traders and not one of them has signed it; ie the council has turned dictator.

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Prats of The Week - Lincolnshire County Council

Ooh Err Missus, 'tis a bright and cheerful Monday morning and time once again for me to award my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to Lincolnshire County Council.

For why?

Their batty plan to replace the "wait for the green man" signs on pelican crossings in Boston, with a "non sexist" sign that asks pedestrian to "cross with the green figure".

Why?

Seemingly the use of the word "man" is deemed to be sexist as it implies male domination over when people can and can't cross the road.

Sigh!!!

What a spectacularly idiotic waste of money!

Lincolnshire County Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Spies Are Us - Nanny's Community Health Services II

This just in from Nanny:

"Dear Mr Frost,

Thank you for your email which you posted on NHS Lincolnshire website.

The purpose of asking questions relating to children's health is so that Lincolnshire Community Health Services can respond to any identified needs raised by a parent or young person themselves.

The questionnaire forms part of a health needs assessment which will direct the School Nursing service to deliver support exactly where it is needed.

By completing the questionnaire, the School Nursing team can assess those families that want support on a 1-1 basis from a School Nurse, those that may require further information via the telephone or leaflets, and a percentage that won’t require any help at all.

The families that are currently completing the questionnaire are being offered help and support if needed which is absolutely crucial to vulnerable groups that are struggling to manage health issues. This group in particular face challenges each day trying to manage health problems and are receptive to help and assistance to care for their child and children that the School Nursing teams can offer. Completion of the questionnaire is entirely optional. All the information is held in health and not shared with other agencies.

I hope this answers your query, if you require further information please do not hesitate to get back in touch with us.

Clinical Team Leader (Universal Provision) Family & Healthy Lifestyle Services

Lincolnshire Community Health Services LCHS, East Lindsey Locality Office, C/O Louth County Hospital
High Holme Road, Louth, Lincs LN11 0EU."

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Spies Are Us - Nanny's Community Health Services

Nanny knows that all adults pose a major threat to her precious future resource, children.

Nanny knows that adults (who do not follow her orthodoxy) may well give children the ability to think and act for themselves, without any form of state help. This of course would mean that they would grow up into free willed, mature adults who don't need or support Nanny.

This must not happen.

Therefore, in order to ensure that children and families are fully subservient to the state, Nanny has ordered her local Community Health Services to start gathering data about the families, and habits of the families, of five year olds.

Nanny's Community Health Gestapo will issue a questionnaire ("School Entry Wellbeing Review") to all families living in Lincolnshire (as a pilot exercise). Families will be required to supply over 100 different data points about their own and their kids' health.

The review asks some rather bizarre, non health related questions, eg whether their child "often lies or cheats", whether they steal or bully, and how often they eat red meat, takeaway meals or fizzy drinks.

Parents are also required to provide details about their health and their partner's health, whether they or their partner are in paid employment, and to say whether or not their child is upset when the parent returns to a room.

At this point may I raise a "timid paw into the air" and ask Nanny:

What the fark business is this of yours?

There is a further layer of icing on Nanny's little cake of intrusion. The Lincolnshire Community Health Gestapo would have you believe that completion of the questionnaire is voluntary. However, the letter accompanying the questionnaire contains the phrase:

"Please complete the enclosed questionnaire …and return it to school in the envelope provided within the next 7 days."

There is absolutely no indication that the questionnaire is voluntary. Nanny is relying on people being compliant and subservient.

By the way, it doesn't stop there, if you don't fill in the questionnaire you will receive a reminder letter, then a third letter then a visit from School Nursing team.

This is state sponsored intimidation.

Under no circumstances should this form be completed by anyone.

Nanny must not be allowed to win this one, under any circumstances.

This stinks!

Tell them what you thin of this via this eamil communications@lpct.nhs.uk

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Contemptible and Loathsome

One of the worst aspects of living in the Nanny state is the fact that Nanny's bad habits are adopted by many other people, as they seek to blame others for their own failings or simple bad luck.

Here is, in my view, a text book example of how Nanny is negatively impacting the behaviour of people living in this country.

Mr and Mrs Boardman (in their eighties) who live in Lincolnshire called paramedics last year when Mrs Boardman, who has heart trouble, fell ill.

When one of the ambulance workers (a technician) went to collect a stretcher from the ambulance, he fell over in the Boardmans' driveway.

Can you guess what is happening now?

Yes, that's right, this person (I have thought of using various fine Anglo Saxon words to describe him, but am containing myself) now wants to sue them.

The Boardmans have received a letter from his solicitors saying that he is seeking damages for personal injury.

The East Midlands Ambulance Service appear to be washing their hands of the matter, and claim that he is pursuing the matter in his own right. This implies that his work insurance policy does not cover this claim, which in itself speaks volumes about the credibility of the claim in the first place (ignoring the fact that he is trying to claim off the Boardmans).

Unsurprisingly neither the technician nor his solicitors were available for comment, too shame faced I would imagine.

However, the letter from his solicitor to the Boardmans says that the technician fell when the couple's security light flickered out.

Needless to say this disgraceful and contemptible claim is causing the Boardmans a lot of stress. Jim Boardman said:

"I think it's morally wrong.

There are other side issues to be considered... people could be reluctant to call the public services and it brings into disrepute an organisation which I've got the greatest admiration for."

Now, if you didn't think that this was bad enough, read what Unison (The Public Sector union) has to say on the matter!

Carol Brown from Unison said:

"I can't comment on this specific case because I don't know if this worker is one of our members but if our members are injured during work then of course the union would support them.

I can understand people finding it hard to believe but of course if someone is injured during work then somebody has got to take liability."

Read this bit again:

"If someone is injured during work then somebody has got to take liability."

BOLLOCKS!

No they don't!

This is the very essence of Nanny in her worst form.

Accidents happen; sometimes because of negligence, sometimes because of people's own stupidity and sometimes because of sheer bad luck.

Using accidents as an excuse to screw people for money is contemptible.

The union are loathsome scumbags for condoning this kind of morally reprehensible behaviour.

Are we now to assume that all emergency services will first have to conduct a risk assessment of a caller and their home, before they will attend an incident or emergency?

Mark my words, that is where this is leading.

Needless to say, the Boardmans say they are now reluctant to call the emergency services.

Nanny has destroyed our society!

Educashun

Congratulations to David Smith, Nanny's headmaster at Darfield Upperwood Primary School, who proved his value for money by paying cash to his wife and son, going on holiday courtesy of the taxpayer and authorising overtime payments and consultancy fees for himself.

On one trip to London he even bought a suit for himself and his deputy with taxpayers' money.

Nanny's chums in Barnsley council published a report on his conduct, and council chiefs took him "very seriously to task" and expressed their "extreme displeasure".

However, the good news is Smith kept his job; because his motives were "totally honourable".

Such honourable actions included:

• A trip to Salzburg in Austria by Mr Smith and his deputy, to "find out how foreign schools teach foreign languages", cost £2,625, including £1,276 on 'bed and breakfast accommodation' and £270 on taxi fares to and from Stansted airport.



• In May 2003, 16 members of staff attended a 'training event' over three days at the four-star De Vere Belton Woods Hotel in Grantham, Lincolnshire.



• Mr Smith claimed £6,150, which he authorised himself, out of the £9,780 paid for overtime on Beacon projects over three years.

It was only taxpayers' money though.

The Danger of Flowers

Nanny’s jobsworth friends in Lincolnshire County Council seem to have a bit of a fixation about flowers.

They are labouring under the deranged impression that flowers are dangerous.

This strange belief has caused grief for two Spalding flower shop owners; Jane Fletcher, of Flowers 'N' Things, and Emma Peake of Daisies Floral Design.

They have received warning letters from the council, telling them to remove their floral displays from outside of their shops.

It seems that, in the eyes of the jobsworth council, these bright and colourful displays are a health and safety hazard for near sighted pedestrians.

In a fine example of British resistance to dictatorship, the ladies are refusing to remove their displays; arguing that they have been trading in this manner for years, without complaints from real people.

Paul Rusted, area highways manager for Boston and South Holland division, sent a letter threatening the ladies with the removal and destruction of their property if they do not comply.

The perversity, of this already ridiculous situation, is that Flowers ‘N’ Things has a licence for chairs and tables for its coffee shop. However, despite Mrs Fletcher offering to pay for another licence for flowers, the jobsworth council refuse to discuss the matter.

By the way the council’s policy of not allowing goods to be displayed on the pavement has, apparently, been in force since 1980.

Why then do they seek to enforce it now so aggressively, some 25 years after inception?

Maybe the new Freedom of Information Act could be used to extract an answer from them? Those wishing to ask the council about this daft decision can write to highways@lincolnshire.gov.uk

I am sure that they will be pleased to assist you!

Nanny's Rose Coloured Spectacles

Nanny love statistics, ahem, when they work in her favour. However, she hates to be reminded of life’s unpleasant little realities.

One such reality is the fact that people, from time to time, are killed on Britain’s roads. Now this is a fact of life, and it is not Nanny’s fault. However, Nanny likes to see the world through rose coloured spectacles; and insists that her subjects use the same spectacles.

Therefore she gets into a “right old strop” when she is reminded of road fatalities. Incidentally, fatalities on Britain’s roads reached 3,508 last year, a 2% rise on 2002.

One very public reminder of these deaths is the informal laying of flowers at the spot of an accident, by friends and relatives of the victim.

Nanny wants this abolished.

She has therefore persuaded her lackeys in local government to come up with a cunning plan, to remove any tangible evidence of an accident.

Anxious to please their mistress, they have obliged her. Four local authorities (including Lincolnshire and Aberdeenshire) have told bereaved families that they must not lay flowers at the site of a fatal road crash, after a predetermined period of mourning; and are seeking to ban permanent memorials.

The councils claim that they are acting in the interests of those who place the flowers, and the drivers who may be distracted by the memorials.

Mary Williams, chief executive of Brake, a national road safety charity is reported to have said:

“This is the most offensive thing that has ever been done by any official body, against people who have been violently bereaved through road accidents..It’s unbelievably crass and insensitive to suggest that traumatic grief lasts for a fixed period of time. These are people whose lives are changed for ever and the policies being implemented are depriving them of the right to tell others where something appalling has happened...”

The bottom line is that Nanny is crass and insensitive.

To see the world like Nanny does, order a pair of Nanny’s rose coloured spectacles today.


They are not only fun, novel and amusing to wear; they are compulsory.