Pirates taking part in an annual World Walking the Plank championship, at Queenborough Harbour on the Isle of Sheppey, last Sunday almost came a cropper thanks to Nanny.
The competition had been run for 12 years. However, Nanny's local council (Swale Borough Council) was worried that people who jumped into the water may ingest something unpleasant.
I have to say I was under the naive impression that councils were responsible for the cleanliness, or otherwise, of water (be it river, harbour or sea) within their domain.
Anyhoo, the event was allowed to go ahead after organisers brought in their own chemical analyst Michael Young who declared it safe.
Ironically Mike won the competition, as he had done in 2002 and 2004, scoring 102 points out of a possible 120.
He jumped off the plank with his "pogo of death", after setting fire to his top hat.
See, perfectly safe!
The competition judges pirates on their use of pirate language such as "Avast" or "Arrr Matey", original costume, execution of jump and overall star quality.
The event has to warn its contestants that they "could get wet", as part of its insurance.
I would ask this, what exactly would the council actually be able to do to ban it?
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"
Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!
Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries
Just another example of how Nanny and the pathetic jobsworths in local councils working for her really cannot stand to see other people enjoying themselves.
ReplyDeleteWhilst I am against our membership of the EU and what it stands for, one of the (very few) good things that the EU has done is to pass legislation which has considerably improved the water quality of our seas and rivers in recent years. Therefore, Ken, the cleanliness or otherwise of the water at Queensborough, as indeed elsewhere (which I thought was actually the responsibility of the local water company, but I accept I may be incorrect in this belief) is a requirement of EU law and, moreover, if said water fails to reach a minimum standard, the responsible party faces a stiff fine. The problem with that, of course, is that any such fine is almost certainly passed on to the consumer, in the form of an increase in water bills. In my opinion, such fines should have to be paid by the directors, from their own pockets.
You also mentioned, Ken, that
"The event has to warn its contestants that they "could get wet", as part of its insurance. Come again? Surely, even a complete idiot would realise that? Or is this simply an excuse for a higher premium? Kerching!
As for your last question as to what exactly the council would actually be able to do to ban it? I have no doubt, Ken, that under the 'freedom' granted to us by nuLabour, they would have no difficulty enforcing any ban: the police would turn up in large numbers, and arrest the participants who, along with the organisers, would be hit with hefty fines, and probably prison sentences too -- for their own welfare and protection, of course!
Councils don't like people to have fun.
ReplyDeleteI am surprised that anyone jumping from a plank of wood into the sea might get wet....Really useful that warning:-)
ASBOs for pirates - you know it makes sense.
ReplyDeleteAssuming the event took place on tidal water the council would have no powers at all to stop it as they have no jurisdiction when it comes to maritime law. Only the coastguard would have any such authority. My own local authority tried banning access to the Mersey estuary and after a short battle I received a letter from the chief executive no less, admitting they had no authority to do so.
ReplyDeleteRe. water quality. The enforcing body is the Environment Agency who in turn will punish water companies who allow pollution of waters.
The only time a local authority can ban bathing in coastal waters is in the case of gross pollution posing the risk of epidemic diseases. They can do so using the 1934 Public Health Act but such a decision has to be ratified by Parliament. As we don't dump raw sewage into our seas any longer and all the dangerous epidemic diseases of the pre-war era have been effectively eradicated I can't see any council being able to invoke the '34 Act.
Finally the Isle of Sheppey has several bathing beaches. What's the difference between falling into seawater in the harbour and that washing the beaches round the corner?
Should local councils be so concerned over their serfs ingesting anything nasty, they could make a start by shutting down certain fast food joints.
The jobsworths who make these asinine decisions are the ones who should be forced to walk the plank - preferably with a heavy metal object tightly secured round their necks.
ReplyDeleteSo, it is necessary to issue a warning that if you fall into water they could get wet? I'm very glad they are here to tell us these things! A more appropriate warning would be:
ReplyDelete'Beware, health and safety
"experts" at work!
Anticant:
ReplyDeleteMight I also suggest the exercise be carried out at high tide....Oh and with a notice that states they will get wet:-)
Ken:''I would ask this, what exactly would the council actually be able to do to ban it?''
ReplyDeleteThey could press-gang all the contestants and hang 'em at the yardarm after which they all go off down to the Hawse Inn to splice the mainbrace.
o|---)