Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Big Brother - Spies R Us

Waltham Forest Council
Nanny's trolls in Waltham Forest Council have come up with a terrific wheeze to keep their citizens in order.

They are offering to pay people up to £500 to spy on their neighbours.

Taxpayers' cash will be dolled out for reports about dog shit, litter, graffiti etc.

- A court summons will net the spy £100.

- A conviction earns £150.

- If the offender gets a maximum sentence, the spy receives £500.

Top banana!

This scheme does of course set neighbour against neighbour, and will turn us into a police state.

Who gives a fark tho?

£500 is £500, and surely it is worth paying the price of our freedom if it means less litter on the street?

NB, I am being ironic!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries


  1. How about they spend the money cleaning the place up instead like they are bloody supposed to do?


  2. Anonymous9:46 AM

    Too true, EN.

    Too true.

  3. Spot on EN!! On a similar line, I see our police have paid out over £6m last year to informants, perhaps this £6m would have been better spent on a few officers that could plod the beat.....Oh sorry I forgot, that is too dangerous these days....Silly me.

    When I was growing up, it was always considered wrong to grass.....Now we seem to have a grass line for everything.

    Neighbour against neighbour suits Nanny's plans because, although I have often stated that a frightened population is easier for Nanny to control, it is also true to say that a divided population is easy to control and pitting neighbour against neighbour is a sure fire way to divide a population.

    Of course this idea of rewarding grasses is nothing new; Stalinist states, Nazi States and dictator states always use this tactic. What really surprises me is just how willing we have become to go along with Nanny's changes to our national traits, beliefs and sense of fair play, especially the live and let live philosophy.

  4. The only time I'd support this barmy scheme is if I lived next door to a member of Waltham Forest Council ;-)

  5. So if everybody reports one person a month, how long before the payouts bankrupt the council?

  6. The penalty for dog fouling is a max of £1000. So if you get reported, report two other people to cover your fine. They can then each report two other people... ad infinitum.
    This could be a amazing MLM or pyramid scheme.

  7. Anonymous11:58 AM

    Will the council be handing out brownshirts as well, or will the informers be expected to buy their own out of their reward money?

  8. Anonymous12:25 PM

    I used to live in Walthamstow (part of the oh so grandly titled Waltham Forest) and the place is one big shit hole, so how the hell nanny will know if a little bit more has been added puzzles me.

  9. Wouldn't it just be beautiful, wouldn't it just be poetic, wouldn't it just send me into disturbing and creepy solo orgasms if everyone in the country started a campaign of watching and reporting... Councillors and Politicians (only).

    If every Councillor, every MP, every Minister, every senior Civil Serf-Ant couldn't so much as shed dandruff on a double-yellow speed-camera or shit so much as a brick into the incorrect bin without two dozen people gleefully following the absolute letter of the (by-)law and the nineteen-thirties Germany spirit of the scheme.

    Ah, if only! Apply everything they come up with soley against them with zero tolerance...

  10. the man from UNCLE4:39 PM

    Badfellowe you are naughty, but I like you. Great idea, catch nanny with her knickers down. But, alas we all know that Nanny from her MPs down to her council cretins are all superb citizens and would never dream of flouting the laws they foist upon us mere plebs.

  11. Grant4:49 PM

    Just a moment folks, I good see good citizens putting this to valid use.

    Now follow me for a while here.

    Nanny council needs people who can afford to pay the fines to fund the service. Best source of both cash and muck would be those small groups of people who move around a lot leaving mess behind them.

    So all one needs is a couple of those little CCTV cars with masts attached (preferably not white though) and it should be possible to make a good return.

    The downside is that said mobile people need a continuous source of revenue to fund the rewards and people will get ripped off but hey, that's a small price to pay for an entrepreneurial spirit.

    If one got it right one could pay someone, say, 50 quid to remove some rubbish, report them, get 100 quid back and be at least 100% up on the deal. Result!

    Quite a similar business opportunity to Carbon Credits in many ways, though without the VAT scam element as far as I can see.

  12. Truly sad. Mind you, its happening out here in the "colonies" too. I thought Oz were just going back to being a convict settlement, but it appears the Mother Country is also lapsing into totalitarianism. Bentham, John Stuart Mill and Burke must be rolling in their graves!!

  13. Anonymous7:22 AM

    Another fine example of the old sleight of hand trick. The idea is that you will be too busy watching eachother to watch them.

  14. Anonymous7:56 AM

    Lovely, and i just managed to get my Ingsoc logo golf shirt, the perfect attire for this little money spinner!
    Now where do I sign up?

  15. Winston Smith11:54 AM

    Eric Arthur Blair you were right. Welcome to 1984 in real time comrades.

    Telescreens for the house next. Nu Labia are already trying it with the 'socially disadvantaged.'

    Once the 'results' are in they will roll it out to other 'problem families' Nu Labia's socialist control programme must be stopped.