My thanks to W. S. Badfellowe for conducting some scientific serious research into a matter of great importance to all of us.
He has confirmed that a wheelie bin can accommodate one councillor, if you push them down with a shovel!
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I would like to echo Ken's thanks to W.S.Badfellowe regarding his important research.....I was thinking that perhaps by putting the councillor or waste education officer chappie through a garden shredder and then into a composter, it may produce a more usable product, bearing in mind that most of the aforementioned officials are so full of soft brown stuff, they would compost down very quickly, I suspect this method of recycling useless waste would be a real boon to my rhubard.
ReplyDeleteTonk - I have tried various garden shredders but failed, miserably, to find one that was powerful enough to chew up the bones while still being slow enough to meet my benchmark half an hour to grind from the egotistical ankles to the ankylosing testicles. If the disposal process is too quick and painless then there's little point in keeping the younger children up to watch, they'll learn nothing.
ReplyDeleteTo be absolutely fair to the councillors it doesn't have to be a shovel or a spade either. Having started them off into the wheelie bin one can just pummel them all the way in with simpler items such as clenched fists or "safety cameras".
In the halcyon days of Mummy's era the favoured tactic was to cut the supply of mediocre politicians off at source by discriminating between a worthwhile shag and a simple farmyard coupling. The few that were accidentally produced were then weeded out by decent Nursery staff.
I love a good, modern politician. There's something about the way they crunch.
One of the Bond films had our hero suspended over a giant industrial shredder (wasn't it being used for cocaine smuggling?). The beauty of that arrangement is being able to lower them in as slowly as you like.
ReplyDeleteOr if you are feeling particularly charitable, just leave them hanging for an hour or so to scare the crap out of them...