Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Nanny Bans Jewellery

Zsiska
Nanny's Trading Standards have seized the entire stock of Candy range of jewellery from shops and suppliers in the UK. Candy is designed by Dutch jewellery designer, Zsiska Jewellery.

For why?

Aha, simple my dear readers, the jewellery looks like candy (sweets to you and I). Nanny is worried that some simpleton will eat it.

Zsiska Jewellery has been sold for many years without any idiot eating it.

However, in Nanny's world risk (no matter how minuscule) is unacceptable and Nanny must protect us from our own stupidity.

No doubt there are those who would issue the well worn cry:

"Won't someone think of the children?"

Yes, doubtless it is possible that a child might try to eat this stuff. However, here are a few points:

1 No child has eaten it yet.

2 It is the parents' responsibility to ensure that items such as this are kept away from children.

3 Children eat all kids of shit, eg I am sure that dog/cat food (that looks so yummy these days) has been eaten by the bucket load by kids.

4 I drank the inside (the silver) of a thermos once (having accidentally dropped it). The doctor assured my worried mother that it would come out of my system in due course.

It is quite unnecessary to ban these products, and they are still available for sale elsewhere in the world.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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14 comments:

  1. Nanny has never heard of Darwin in Action.

    In an alternate universe somewhere I have just issued a diktat ordering the banning of all snotty, diseased, chav partially-formed human horrors that look like children, just in case parents or other adults mistake them for something desirable or acceptable.

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  2. It is worrying that the state can enter premises and just take items such as those mentioned.....Nanny has definately got her priorities wrong....Nothing new there then...When you take all risk away from everyone, you become more at risk as you do not have to decide whether there is a danger or not...One develops, I suppose what is called savvy, by experience, for example; I grew up in London's East end and most of us had that modern, anti-social, kill the planet coal fire....I learned at a very young age that, if I touched the fire guard when the fire was alight, I would burn my finger and it would hurt....This I only did once, I learned that it was a risk to touch a fire guard and hence I avoided them. I was able to cross the road without getting myself run over because I was exposed to the risk and learned from it, I tried riding my bike down half a dozen steps, I fell off and my cross bar came into contact with my wedding tackle hence I never tried to ride my bike down stairs again....A painful lesson but a valuable one.

    If we remove human's need to think for themselves, we are in danger of a kind of negative evolution and there is a danger we will end up with estates full of cottonwool wrapped cabages....Oppppps too late...That negative evolution happened far quicker that ordinary evolution didn't it!

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  3. Number 611:51 AM

    Nanny must ban sweets now in case someone trys to wear them as jewellery and suffers an allergic reaction to all the crap E numbers in the candy.

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  4. microdave11:53 AM

    "It is the parents' responsibility"

    I think you must have your rose tinted spectacles on Ken! What you, and I remember from our child hood is sadly an alien concept these days.....

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  5. Every day I think it can't get worse or more ridiculous, and every day I'm proved wrong.

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  6. Lord of Atlantis1:20 PM

    Quite agree with you, Tonk. The consequence of Nanny's brave, sanitised, sterile new world will be that children will be at greater risk, not less. To continue from your examples, when I was about 7 years old (c1957) my father killed a wasp by the subtle method of swatting it. I was told not to touch the dead insect but, being a typical 7 year old, picked it up to have a closer look --- by the 'business end'--- and was stung! From that experience I learned that it is not a good idea to pick up wasps, even dead ones, because they have a very painful sting!

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  7. I remember sticking a nail into a two pin plug socket as a three year old.
    I flew back across the hall.

    My mother came to console me - she said, something like, 'my bother and his two brothers joined together and did the same thing when they were young. They also flew across the room.'

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  8. Number 62:35 PM

    My daughter attends Brownies (can we still say Brownies) her pack leader tells me that many parents panic when told that the kids are going to be lighting candles for brownie ceremonies, or gasp having a camp fire at camp! Many schools were the kids meet are so firmly under nanny's elf and saferty approved boots that they ban the girls from having candles or bbqs.

    She (like the good readers of this blog) knows nanny is raising a nation of milksops who (well, surprise, surprise,) will never question what nanny tells them to do.

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  9. archroy3:07 PM

    I blame Esther Rantzen

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  10. Temporarily speechless reading this!

    By what right do they seize jewellery because it looks like sweets?

    I can accept safety rules for toys and products intended for young children but surely it is our perogative as adults to buy whatever shaped jewellery we want.

    This country has gone down the pan big time!

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  11. Anonymous9:09 PM

    Sorry but if I were a store owner selling jewelery ans someone came in and started stealing it, they would be bodily ejected, official hat or no official hat.

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  12. Julius Caesar2:10 PM

    Why not do the for shoplifting, i.e., theft?

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  13. 3 Children eat all kids of shit, eg I am sure that dog/cat food (that looks so yummy these days) has been eaten by the bucket load by kids.

    I used to quite like Spiller's Shapes - I've certainly never had any problems with moulting as a result!

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  14. HI
    IVE JUST COME ACROSS YOUR SITE AND WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU ALL THAT I AM THE LADY WHO HAD A VISIT FROM THE TRADING STANDARDS OFFICER REGARDING THE CANDY JEWELLERY. THE OFFICER WHO ENTERED THE PREMISES TOLD ME THAT I WAS BREAKING THE LAW BECAUSE YOUNG CHILDREN COULD CHOKE AND SWALLOW THE IMMITATION JEWELLERY. I WAS BEMUSED AND TOLD THEM THAT I HAVE TWO YOUNG BOYS WHO HAVE NEVER ATTEMPTED TO EAT ANY OF THE LICOURICE ALLSORT JEWELLERY. THE OFFICER SAID THAT ONE BROTHER COULD FEED THEM TO A YOUNGER BROTHER !!!! EACH OF OUR NECKLACES AND BRACELETS ARE FIXED TOGETHER USING TOUGH MATERIAL AND UNLESS YOU ARE A FISH, OR BIRD YOU COULD NOT EAT THESE ITEMS AS A WHOLE. THE OFFICER DID SAY THAT THE CHILDREN COULD GET SOME SCISSORS AND CUT THEM UP. SCISSORS I STRESSED SHOULD NOT BE ACCESSABLE TO SUCH YOUNG CHILDREN.

    I HAVE FOUND MANY OTHER WEBSITES SINCE THE VISIT AND MY COURT CASE !!! THAT SELL THE SAME LAW BREAKING IMMITATION SWEET JEWELLERY AND THEY SEEM TO BEABLE TO CONTINUE SELLING THESE ITEMS. I AM MISTIFIED THAT IF THIS IS A SERIOUS UK LAW THEN WHY ARE'NT THE TRADING OFFICES CRACKING DOWN ON THIS LAW. MAYBE IT IS OK TO MURDER IN ANOTHER COUNTY IN THE UK.
    ANYWAY, ITS GREAT TO READ ALL YOUR VIEWS ON THIS MATTER AND THANKS FOR YOU SUPPORT.

    WILLOW

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