Nanny Knows Best: September 2011

Friday, September 30, 2011

Knobheads Revisited!

Last October I wrote the following:

"I see that Dunster, a well preserved medieval village complete with cobbled streets, has fallen foul of Nanny's obsession with health and safety.

A council working group has decreed that the worn out cobbles in the Old Yarn Market are a tad "dangerous", and is proposing replacing them with smooth surfaced roads at a cost of over £100K."

I am sad to say that despite the media furore, the council have gone ahead with their act of vandalism (all in the name of health and safety) and are ripping up the cobbles.

As I said at the time..Knobheads!

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Thursday, September 29, 2011

WTF!

I see that prison inmates in Wales are threatening legal action against prison chiefs.

For why?

Because they only get Sky Sports One, showing Premier League football matches, in jail.

They want Sky Two and Three as well!

The prisoners have lodged a formal complaint to warders at HMP Parc in Bridgend to get other pay-to-view sports channels as well for free.

Ironically some warders at the Category B prison say they cannot afford Sky Sports at home.

Well, if they win this one then I give up!

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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Euro Nanny Bollocks

The latest wheeze from Euro Nanny is a proposal to enforce a mandatory 20mph speed limit in residential zones, and to replace the Highway Code with European law.

All very well, if we had signed up to an EU superstate and had voluntarily given up our right to self governance. However, as I recall, the referendum on the EU in the 1970's was for joining a "Common Market" not a European superstate.

Coming soon, all cars will have to be preceded by a man walking carrying a red flag!

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Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Prats of The Week - Various Councils

Ooh Err Missus, tis time for another Prats of The Week Award.

This week it goes to various councils (such as Newham, Lancashire and Tower Hamlets) who have been minded to pay for some rather bizarre advice offered by Anne O'Conner (an early years consultant, I assume that means child "expert") about banning witches' black hats in school/nursery toy boxes.

Eh?

It seems that by dressing toy witches in black hats a "negative" stereotype may be being created in the minds of kids, which will lead to racism.

Well, aside from the fact that the colour black wrt clothing has nothing to do with implanting racist attitudes whatsoever, may I ask what exactly a witch is meant to wear?

Oh, that's alright, the councils have been told that too.

Pink, apparently!

Does this not mean that other sections of the community (with a penchant for pink, eg ballerinas) will be stereotyped?

No, the "experts" have a solution for that too.

Fairies, such as Tinkerbell, should now be dressed in darker colours!

Oh, and for good measure, white paper is also racist..apparently!

Therefore when you are viewing the white background of this site, please try to imagine it as being anything other than white lest you become a racist.

The final straw comes with the advice offered to teachers about what to answer kids when they ask "what is your favourite colour?"

The answer must ALWAYS be black or brown.

FFS!!!

Yes, lying to kids sets a good example doesn't it?

I wonder how much this shite cost the taxpayer?

Various councils, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Bin Brother - Euro Nanny

As the EU teeters on the edge of collapse (don't celebrate too much, its impending collapse is causing havoc in the global markets) it is "reassuring" to see that the Euro Nanny still has her priorities right.

Some daft bunch of zealots ("The Campaign fro Real Recycling") have won the right to a review in December of of the UK's interpretation of the EU's Waste Framework Directive.

The review will determine whether allowing people to dispose of their rubbish in one bin is contravening the spirit of the EU guidelines on refuse disposal.

CRR claim that mixed waste is often so contaminated that it can only be sold off in Asia, where it may be sorted by poorly-paid workers, including children (who of course would starve if they didn't earn money from tasks such as this).

Prepare yourselves for more councils forcing people to sort their waste between five or more bins!

On the bright side, the EU should have collapsed by the end of the year; hence there will be no directive to follow!

Follow the daily updates of the Euro crisis on my finance site. I am given the understand that our "beloved" EU "leaders" and bureaucrats are currently shit scared of what is happening, but are of course incapable of proving the leadership necessary to resolve this self inflicted crisis.

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Friday, September 23, 2011

Danger - Sharp Edges! UPDATED

I am gemused to read that NASA and the US Department of Defense (Defence;)) are a tad worried about the scheduled return to earth today of the Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite, which is the size of a bus.

Seemingly they are not quite sure where it will fall to earth, and are worried that large parts of it will not burn up on re-entry.

Therefore are they warning us to "duck and cover"?

Errmmm..no not quite.

Their main concern is that people will come across parts of the satellite and touch it.

The danger being what?

Apparently "sharp edges"!

NASA has warned people not to touch the debris if they come across it, because it is likely to have sharp edges.

So don't worry about it landing on your head or anything, just fret about cutting your finger if you touch it;)

UPDATE

Britons will see a bright orange streak in the night sky to the south east at about 9pm.

Let's trust that it doesn't land in Waltham Forest, otherwise the council will take Nasa to court for dumping commercial waste!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Prats of The Week - Waltham Forest Council

Well stap me vitals..tis time methinks for another "Pats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to Waltham Forest Council.

For why?

Just ask Linda Bracey, owner of Electro Signs, who fell foul of the council's environmental police.

What was her "crime"?

She gave away spare cardboard boxes to a passer-by, one of which ended up on a fly tipping site. Despite the fact that Mrs Bracey did not dump the box herself, the council decided to take her to court for illegally disposing of business waste.

Can you guess what happened in court?

Yes, that's right, the judge ( Judge Alex Milne QC) called for an outbreak of commonsense and the jury acquitted her.

The cost to the taxpayer of Waltham Forest Council's absurd decision to prosecute was £15K.

Waltham Forest Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Councils are the enemies of the people.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Anti Smoking Bollocks

I see that Nanny's chums from the UK Centre for Tobacco Control Studies (can you guess what their agenda is folks?), have published "unbiased research" in the BMJ that claims that films that depict actors smoking encourage teenagers to smoke.

As a result, the zealots who conducted the research want all films that depict smoking to have an 18 certificate.

Aside from the ludicrous fact that films and TV shows such as "Peter Pan" and Thunderbirds (they were always having a fag and boozing in the TV series) would end up being made adults only, don't these sad twats realise that by "forbidding" something in this way makes it even more attractive?

Once the zealots have forbidden us watching people smoking, they will then forbid us to watch people eating fatty foods and drinking booze.

Oh, and by the way, if they are so concerned about health why the fark don't they do something about cars then?

Researchers from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine found the chance of suffering an attack increased by 1.3% in the six hours after coming in contact with high levels of vehicle-related pollutants.

They singled out tiny particles known as PM10 and nitrogen dioxide which are both expelled by cars as the main culprits.

In fact, on the subject of pollution, what the hell is going on in Wales?

"Of possibly more worrying importance for Europe is that I saw today THREE brand new 'boxes' being installed in my local area. Green, 4 feet tall, air intake on top, exhaust vent on the back, air pump constantly pulling air through a suspiciously military looking black metal unit inside. Couldn't see all of the printing on that, but it looks like a NSN (Nato Stock Number. I'm ex-RAF and I've seen millions of them). Built hurriedly (I'm an engineer and I know the difference) with commercially available components everywhere you can see by shining a torch through the vents. Installers all very hostile to anyone asking questions. Which I did. Was pointedly told to fuck off and mind my own business.

Ok, they're quite obviously environmental monitoring stations. But designed to measure what? Fallout?..

After Fukushima, most of the governmental rad monitoring stations in North America and many parts of Europe went dead. Offline. We have no bananas. No one here guv. What's this 'radiation' thing again?

What's your local area? On what type of land are they sited? Also, did they have UHF/VHF antennae on top? A flat satcoms box? A panel for access to a display/meter? Solar panel on top, or wired to the grid, etc?...

North Wales, UK.
All on cycle paths; moderately 'off the beaten track' positions. Looks like theres a GPRS antenna inside near the top (top made of fiberglass and marked 'Morgan Marine' on one corner), also a visible 'wallwart' that looks very much like a cellphone charger plugged into a 6-pack extension strip mounted inside on the back. All 3 sited immediately next to a street light pole and wired into it (fresh asphalt strip between pole and green box on all of them).

They're not elegantly engineered at all. Look thrown together out of the cheapest commercially available parts they could get - rain guard inside mesh screen on top is simply a plastic funnel with a rubber 'condom' blanking off the top.

Look like this;

...almost exactly, but green and much cheaper construction. Really bad / hasty silicone sealant application on all exterior joints, etc..."

Any ideas anyone?

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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Nanny Bans Gaylord

I am peeved to learn that Nanny's schools are branding thousands of children racist or homophobic purely because of playground squabbles.

A staggering 20,000 pupils (aged 11 or younger) were put on Nanny's records for "hate" crimes last year.....what child hasn't said "I hate you" at last once in his/her life?

Anyhoo, what constitutes a "hate" crime?

The use of words/phrases such as:

- gaylord
- broccoli head
- this work is gay etc

Kids' names are ending up on registers kept by Nanny's education authorities, these records are passed between schools as and when kids move schools.

This is a nasty and insidious practice which should be outlawed, simply make the kids apologise and shake hands.

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Monday, September 19, 2011

Anti Salt Zealots

Oh dear I see that Nanny's anti salt zealots, not content with buggering up HP sauce, are intent on destroying the great British breakfast fry up.

Nanny is setting targets for lower salt content of the key ingredients (eg sausages) that will destroy the flavour, and result in people simply putting more salt on their breakfasts.

BTW, salt also acts as a preservative.

Seemingly around 80% of sausages sold in Britain currently fall short of Nanny's 2012 salt target.

Bacon doesn't fare much better.

Here's how some current products compare with the 2012 targets

Sausages
2012 target: 1.13g salt per 100g
Richmond thick sausages 2.3g
Sainsburys Butchers Choice large pork sausages 2.2g
Tesco Finest traditional pork sausages 1.3g
Walls Thick pork sausages 1.7g
Waitrose British Pork Sausages with Mustard & Onion 1.4g

Bacon
2012 target: 2.88g salt per 100g
Asda Extra Special Bacon Unsmoked 4.7g
Sainsbury's ultimate oak-smoked bacon 3.7g
Tesco smoked back bacon 3g
Waitrose unsmoked back English bacon 3.5g
Walls unsmoked bacon 7g

However, before the anti salt zealots have a stroke they should remember that most people do not eat a full fry up for breakfast everyday anyway.

A little of what you fancy does you good!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Twylah

I have just joined Twylah (currently running in Beta mode).

Twylah organises my tweets into the topics that I tweet about most, followers are directed to an optimised landing page that makes tweets easier to read.

Check out my Twylah page.

Friday, September 16, 2011

The Mister Men

Dear oh dear, what a splendid example of absolute nonsense brought to us by Nanny's Ministry of Justice.

The MoJ has issued guidance that says guards should use the formal address of "Mister" for at least 12,000 prisoners with learning difficulties such as dyslexia.

This is all the more odd as Kenneth Clarke, the Justice Secretary, has attacked as “ridiculous” a ruling that forced guards to call a gang boss serving life for murder “Mr”.

Given that the "learning difficulty" clearly was not enough to dissuade the judge from imprisoning the offender (as opposed to placing him/her in a hospital or freeing him/her), this seems a totally daft idea.

Or am I just a hard hearted, miserable sod with zero compassion?

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Nanny Bans Dates

I am gemused to see that fuss caused by Nanny's suggestion that "sell-by" dates on food should be removed, and that only "use-by" or "best-before" dates should be displayed.

I am fully supportive of anything that reduces the criminal levels of food waste that is evident in this country.

However, Nanny's suggestion has seemingly done nothing more than to confuse everyone further about food safety.

Here is the simple thing to do, if you have an item of food that you are about to prepare, serve or eat; smell it first!!

If it reeks, chuck it!

It it smells OK, then eat it.

Problem solved!

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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Saucy

Ooh Err Missus, I'm always partial to a bit of sauce!

I see that the bastion of the British breakfast condiments (can I say condiments before the watershed?), namely HP Sauce, has succumbed to Nanny's anti salt zealotry.

HP, who have been manufacturing the tangy brown sauce (used by gazillions of Brits to enhance their breakfast fry ups every morning) since 1899, have adjusted their recipe to reduce the salt content.

For shame!

Let's face it, people will simply add more salt to their food via their salt pot (unless Nanny has bunged up the holes!).

Anyhoo, by all accounts the new flavour knocks your head off and is not well liked by HP aficionados; Marco Pierre White has branded the new taste "disgusting".

It seems that this could quite possibly be a British version of the "new Coke" debacle, which is ironic given that the owners of HP are Heinz (American) and should have learned the lesson of never tamper with your brand from their compatriots at Coke.

I suggest that you tell HP what you think via their Faecesbook page.

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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

White Lines

How gemusing to see that all that separates our political "elite" from "celebrities" and "celebrity footballers" is nothing more than a thin white line!

What a "funny" little island we live on, where the "elite" can happily break the outdated laws that Nanny seeks to impose on the rest of us.

The "elite" seem to do rather well (good careers, good money, power, status etc) out of breaking these laws, yet "Joe Public" gets a criminal record if he gets caught.

Here is the official response from Nanny to a letter I wrote in June 2010 about her drugs policy.

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Monday, September 12, 2011

Ker Farking Ching!

I see that yet another of Nanny's "respected" councils showed its true colours recently, wrt the contempt with which they treat their taxpayers.

Rossendale council has stopped refuse collection for its taxpayers who live in rural areas. The hapless victims of the council's greed now have to drive or carry their rubbish down narrow country lanes to "collection points" up to a mile away from their homes.

The diktat by Rossendale affects around 700 rural households, and is but a precursor for other councils to try the same (ie stop collecting waste altogether).

Unsurprisingly the taxpayers in Rossendale are furious, and have lodged a complaint with the Local Government Ombudsman. They state that the council failed to carry out a proper consultation before announcing the change.

As a result of the diktat, large piles of rubbish bags are left at roadsides overnight for early morning collections. These are of course attacked by foxes, badgers and other animals, leaving refuse strewn over the road.

For the record, councils have had powers to regulate rubbish since the 1848 Public Health Act. A new Act in 1875 allowed them to provide dustbins and remove household waste. Local authorities are legally obliged to collect household rubbish but not to collect it at the doorstep.

Oddly enough, residents who have lost the doorstep service will not receive a council tax rebate.

Ker Farking Ching!

Councils treat their taxpayers as prostrate milch cows, to be used and abused as they wish.

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Friday, September 09, 2011

Nurses and Booze

Huzzah!

I see that the Harvard School of Public Health have concluded that regular moderate drinking improves the health of women and reduces the risk of heart disease, diabetes and other mental and physical disorders in later life.

The study of 14,000 female nurses found that those who frequently drank one to two drinks a night, but no more, had a 30% better chance of overall good health in their seventies than those who avoided alcohol altogether.

Women who drank on five to seven nights a week enjoyed a 50% better chance of good health in later life than teetotallers.

Brilliant!

As we know, nurses and doctors also indulge in other "vices" on a greater level than the rest of us. Therefore I look forward to the results of future studies that show that smoking and taking drugs are in fact rather good for us;)

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Thursday, September 08, 2011

Nanny Bans Guitar George

My commiserations to Guitar George (a music act who sings and plays the guitar whilst riding a unicycle) who has found himself on the wrong end of Nanny.

For why?

GG had been expecting to appear on Sky 1's "Don’t Stop Me Now" (a talent contest where everyone in the audience trys to prove that they are a superstar, and where unsuccessful acts are ejected from the show via trap doors, horizontal bungees and exploding stages).

However, he was told by Sky that he could no longer perform his act on the show because of health and safety issues.

This being a show where they have "exploding stages"!

I am lost for words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Global Warming

I am hugely gemused to read (especially after this abysmal excuse for a summer) that global warming may in fact not be caused by our puny attempts to pollute the atmosphere, but the sun and the cosmic rays that it produces.

CERN have conducted an experiment (aptly named CLOUD) which shows that cosmic rays and the sun are the dominant controller of climate on Earth.

63 CERN scientists from 17 European and American institutes have demonstrated that cosmic rays promote the formation of molecules that in the Earth’s atmosphere can grow and seed clouds. Clouds affect the temperature of the earth.

Sadly the results of the experiment will not be given huge publicity, because they are deemed to be "heresy" wrt the dogma of "man made" global warming.

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Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Prats of The Week - South Yorkshire Police

Ooh Err Missus, tis time methinks for another of my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes to South Yorkshire Police.

For why?

Just ask Peter Tooley (owner of the Party Time party store in Sheffield).

Mr Tooley recently put a mannequin dressed as Colonel Gaddafi in pink tights, holding a sign "you ain't seen me right?", in his doorway.

No harm there then?

Errmm..yes, if you are the two PCSOs who came into his store and ordered him to remove it.

For why?

They deemed that it would be offensive (despite the fact that no one had reported being offended by it), and that it may cause "community tension on a sensitive issue."

Have we really lost our sense of humour as a nation?

South Yorkshire Police, well deserving "Prats of The Week".

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Monday, September 05, 2011

Booze Matters - How To Talk Bollocks With Statistics

Nanny's chums from Alcohol Concern (AC) have published a the results of a study that suggests that for every two off-licences per 100,000 population, one under-18 year-old was admitted to hospital for alcohol poisoning or intoxication between 2006 and 2009.

AC are using the results of the study to call for the restriction of the number of off licences.

Reasonable?

No, not really.

Aside from the fact that the law clearly states that under 18's are not allowed to buy alcohol, ie the number of off licences is irrelevant when it comes to underage law breaking re booze buying, AC sweeps under the carpet an anomaly in the study.

Whilst the study claims to find a relationship between the density of off-licences and under-18 alcohol-related hospital admissions across England it does not find such a relationship in London, ie there was no statistical link for London.

London, for those of you who don't know, is actually quite a large place!

Also, rather ironically, a report from the NHS Information Centre "Smoking, drinking and drug use among young people in England 2010" shows that the proportion of 11-15 year olds who had never drunk alcohol increased from 39% in 2003 to 55% in 2010.

In addition, those that have tried alcohol appear to be drinking less. The proportion of pupils who drank alcohol in the last week fell from a peak of 26% in 2001 to 13% in 2010.

There you go folks, make of that what you will; you can do anything with statistics if you have a political or "moral" agenda.

However, the key point is this, off licence density (or rather regulating off licence density) is irrelevant. The law clearly states that under 18's are not allowed to buy booze, ie the means are in place already to deal with underage booze buying.

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Friday, September 02, 2011

The Joy of Salt

I see our old chums from Consensus Action on Salt & Health (CASH) have got on their high horses again about the dangers of salt.

This time their bile is directed towards bread, seemingly bread contains oodles of salt, in fact one loaf of brown "pain de campagne" bread from upmarket chain Paul contained 2.83g of salt per 100g – a higher concentration of salt than seawater.

Huzaah!!

Prof Graham MacGregor, Cash chairman, said: "It is frankly outrageous that bread still contains so much salt. .."

Yawn!

Save me from the farking "outrage" of these single issue zealots!

Do I give a fark?

No!

We should be allowed to eat as much or as little salt as we want, without these zealots interfering in the minutiae of our daily lives.

A balanced diet, combined with a decent fluid intake and exercise (that induces sweat) will ensure that the body excretes any salt that it doesn't need in a perfectly healthy fashion.

The high blood pressure that these zealots bang on about is primarily caused by stress, lack of exercise and a remarkably shite diet (in which "salty bread" is but a mere smidgeon).

I ate chunks of sea salt as a child, when I shaved large blocks of sea salt for my mum's salt pots, it never caused me any problems.

If people are so worried about the salt, then add heaps of sugar to your food..problem solved!!

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Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries