Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Nanny Bans Birds
I see that Nanny is a tad concerned about the health and safety threat posed to us by our feathered friends and their droppings.
Nanny's chums at North Devon Council have come up with a "terrific wheeze" on how to solve the problems and threat of bird droppings on the street near St Peter's church Barnstaple.
Can you guess what Nanny is doing?
Yes, that's right, the council has ordered the trees and foliage to be cut down (note, they gave no forewarning of what they were going to do).
For why is the council so worried about the birds (starlings)?
The council is of the view that the starlings' droppings were potentially poisonous, and could contain salmonella and toxoplasmosis, bacteria which can cause food poisoning.
Maybe so, but often do people go round licking bird shit off the street?
Oh one other small point, the problem would resolve itself when the starlings migrate in March!
Councils are not only the enemies of the people, but also of life on this planet!
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Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Health and Fitness
As we all know, Nanny, the media, the medical profession and various self appointed "health experts" merrily bombard us on a daily basis with propaganda about the importance of taking regular exercise and of being "fit".
On that point, would the above "experts" care to define exactly what "fit/fitness" actually is?
Anyhoo, I was more than gemused to learn today that tonight's Horizon will be about how one only need to take vigorous intense exercise of around 3 minutes a week in order to remain "fit" (no definition of course as to what "fit" actually means).
I was also extremely gemused to see that the "experts" have finally admitted to what the rest of us have known all along, namely that different people respond differently to exercise (ie we are all different, and each of us will "benefit from/be harmed by" exercise in different ways). The scientific buzzwords are "responders" and "non responders"
This of course means that the "one size fits all" prescription by Nanny and others of the type and duration of exercise is of course bollocks!
As to what "fit" actually means, here is my definition:
You are fit if you are able to conduct your daily life without any discomfort, undue effort or distress.
Therefore if you daily life consist of drinking 8 pints a day, and you are able to do this without any distress or discomfort, then you are fit!
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Monday, February 27, 2012
Nanny Bans Fireman Sam
It seems that Nanny continues to crack down on freedom of speech and our freedom to ask questions.
David Jones, a retired fireman and the creator of Fireman Sam, discovered this to his cost the other day when he went through the security gates at Gatwick airport.
As we all know, Nanny has done her best to increase our paranoia and fear about terrorism and has increased the level of security checks over the years at UK airports (all rather pointless on some long haul flights, if the same level of checks are not carried out at other airports en route or for transit passengers).
Anyhoo, Mr Jones placed his belongings, including a scarf, into the tray that passes through the X ray (that can't of course pick up certain types of explosives). Whilst waiting in line he observed a Muslim lady in a hijab pass through the area without showing her face.
Mr Jones made a comment to one of Nanny's security officers thusly:
"If I was wearing this scarf over my face, I wonder what would happen.”
Can you guess what happened next children?
Yes, that's right, Mr Jones was detained by Nanny's security staff and accused of racism.
Factoid: for the benefit of Nanny and her lackeys, any person of any race or colour can be Muslim (it is a religion not a race!).
Mr Jones then was subjected to a one hour stand-off, as Nanny's lackeys tried to force him to apologise.
To whom should he have apologised may I ask, and for why?
1 He wasn't being racist.
2 The comment was not aimed at the lady, nor heard by her.
3 The lady had long since gone.
Mr Jones then claims that, in addition to security staff giving him a verbal going over, the BA duty manager (he was trying to fly BA) got involved and took their side too.
The security staff insisted that he apologise to a Muslim security guard who had "apparently", on being told of the comment (ie she was not initially involved), became offended.
Mr Jones requested that a police officer be sought, unfortunately the police officer also kowtowed to the concept of political correctness. Mr Jones was told that "some things are not to be said".
We have now entered the Orwellian world of thought and speech crimes!
Mr Jones eventually (as he really did want to catch a flight) came to an agreement whereby he consented that what he said "could" be considered offensive by a Muslim guard.
Needless to say, Nanny insisted on making him go through the security check and full search again.
How petty and pathetic!
Gatwick airport are now looking into the matter!
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Friday, February 24, 2012
Health and Safety Madness
As a country we have allowed ourselves to kowtow so much to Nanny's fear of risk that we now even allow people to drown, lest we flout a health and safety edict.
An ongoing hearing at Portsmouth Coroners’ Court has heard how in March 2011 Simon Burgess drowned in a 3ft deep lake in Gosport, when a policeman and a paramedic were ordered not to try to rescue him.
Mr Burgess was allowed to float face face down as emergency crews watched.
Seemingly health and safety rules stopped them going in to try to save him.
According to a doctor, Mr Burgess’s life might have been saved (a slim chance) had he been removed from the water quickly.
To the credit of both the police constable and the ambulance worker who arrived at the scene they both volunteered to go in to rescue him. However, they were firmly ordered by fire station watch manager, and by the police control room not to do so (the rationale being that it was assumed that Mr Burgess was already dead).
The inquest heard that there was a 28 minute delay before Mr Burgess was pulled from the water after the first phone call was made.
As a country we have gone raving mad under Nanny's rule!
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An ongoing hearing at Portsmouth Coroners’ Court has heard how in March 2011 Simon Burgess drowned in a 3ft deep lake in Gosport, when a policeman and a paramedic were ordered not to try to rescue him.
Mr Burgess was allowed to float face face down as emergency crews watched.
Seemingly health and safety rules stopped them going in to try to save him.
According to a doctor, Mr Burgess’s life might have been saved (a slim chance) had he been removed from the water quickly.
To the credit of both the police constable and the ambulance worker who arrived at the scene they both volunteered to go in to rescue him. However, they were firmly ordered by fire station watch manager, and by the police control room not to do so (the rationale being that it was assumed that Mr Burgess was already dead).
The inquest heard that there was a 28 minute delay before Mr Burgess was pulled from the water after the first phone call was made.
As a country we have gone raving mad under Nanny's rule!
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Thursday, February 23, 2012
Booze Matters - Alcohol Fuelled Violence
I am heartily sick and tired of Nanny's daily spewing forth of anti drink propaganda, as indeed are many of my loyal readers.
However, it seems that Nanny may have a point about the dangers of cut price alcohol fuelled violence.
Last night a middle aged male head-butted another middle aged male, whilst a third middle aged male got punched as he tried to break things up. For good measure, a window was smashed. The police were called, and have detained the head-butter.
This disgraceful behaviour, needless to say, took place in a bar where cheap booze was being sold.
Oh, but hang on a minute children, can you guess where the punch up took place?
Yes, that's right, the Strangers' Bar in the House of Commons (you know, the place were MPs drink cut price alcohol).
Can you guess who was involved in the melee?
Yes, that's right, politicians!
Labour MP Eric Joyce head-butted Tory MP Stuart Andrew, and Tory Cllr Luke MacKenzie got punched trying to separate the two men.
There you are folks Nanny is right, cheap booze can be the root cause of violence!
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Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Prats of The Week - The Met
Evidently not.
It seems that they have time enough to write poetry.
Denise Milani (the Met's Head of Diversity - salary £90K) recently set the force a wee poetry competition on the subject of "gender equality".
The lucky winner will be granted a coffee break with Ms Milani, where they can discuss gender equality.
The poems must focus on ‘recruitment, retention or progression’, creating a ‘gender-sensitive working environment’ or ‘successfully managing gender-diverse teams’.
Sigh!
The Met, well deserving Prats of The Week!
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Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Tests On Two Year Olds - FFS!
For Fark's Sake!
I appreciate that exams and tests are important, both in terms of indicating a person's (adults as well as children take exams) ability/understanding and as a motivational tool for study.
However, there is such a thing as overdoing them and also a danger of the results being misused.
I am therefore far from gemused to read that Professor Rescorla from the USA has come up with a language test for parents to administer on their kids, in order to check the speaking skills of children under the age of two.
The professor has a checklist of 310 basic words (eg "daddy", "mummy" and "bye bye"), which parents could use to determine whether they are at risk of language-related difficulties.
Identifying "late talkers" early could allow parents (or Nanny) to intervene at an early age with language coaching and other methods.
This is all very nice in theory. However, a sensible parent will already be cognisant of their child's speaking skills (or lack thereof); idiotic parents won't care, and won't be arsed to check anyway.
So where does that leave this idea?
I suspect that the next step will Nanny (USA or UK Nanny) taking it up, and using it for "family interventions".
It makes one wonder how for the last 100,000 years or so the human race has ever managed to talk to each other.
This will all end in tears, mark my words.
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Monday, February 20, 2012
Booze Matters - Auntie Speaks Out
Oh dear, I see Nanny's current anti booze fetish shows no signs of abating.
In what one might almost suspect is a co-ordinated policy of propaganda being orchestrated by the government, various anti booze quangos, doctors and the media we are being subjected to a daily diet of anti booze propaganda (akin to the anti fat/obesity propaganda that is pumped out by the same bodies).
Tonight is no exception, Auntie (BBC1) will be screening a Panorama programme tonight at 20:30 authored by Alistair Campbell (no less) about "Britain's Hidden Alcoholics" (ie the middle classes).
Needless to say, if Britain's "alcoholics" are in fact the middle classes (as opposed to Nanny's normal target "the poor") then Nanny's plans to legislate for a minimum price of booze will not make the slightest difference; as the middle classes tend not to go round swilling discounted "Ace Lager" from a can.
As Campbell says:
"I think that our connection to alcohol is a deal that each of us has to make with ourselves."
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Friday, February 17, 2012
Prats of The Week - Lambeth Council
Therefore, without further ado, let me shout this week's winner from the rooftops....it is none other than Lambeth Council (yes another council!).
For why?
Well, Lambeth Council have got their knickers in a twist over government cuts (brought about by the austerity programme). The council feel that, as money is now in short (or rather in shorter) supply, the services which they consider "essential" will suffer.
So what does the council do to try to avoid harming its "essential" services?
Does it look for savings elsewhere?
No!
Does it present a coherent, and well researched, request for an increased budget to the government?
No!
It prints posters (ie it spends taxpayers' money) that are placed hither and thither around Lambeth.
What do these posters say?
“The Government has cut our money by nearly a third, so we are forced to cut our services.”
With cretins like this running councils, it is hardly surprising that this country is financially farked and that council services are in such a mess!
Councils are the enemies of the people!
Lambeth Council, well deserving Prats of The Week.
FYI, Lambeth Council also won this award in March last year (well done lads!).
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Thursday, February 16, 2012
Councils - Enemies of The People!
I was therefore pleased to see that last year Eric Pickles, the Communities Secretary, ordered councils to publish details of high-earning staff and any spending of more than £500.
I was less than gemused, but not surprised, to see that many councils have stuck two fingers up to this request, and have claimed that they have so many well-paid staff that the cost of listing them and their responsibilities would be prohibitive.
In other words, if they are to be believed, these recalcitrant councils do not know who they employ or how much they cost!
Other councils wimped out of the request by claiming that taxpayers don't have the “evaluation skills” to decide whether spending was good value for money, and that we would "misunderstand" the expenditure; ie they don't want us to know how they spend OUR money!
As noted many times before on this site, councils are the enemies of the people!
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Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Booze Matters - Responsible Drinking
I see that Nanny is whining on yet again about booze.
This time, playing to the gallery, Cameron is promising booze buses (very nice of him to lay on free transport to pubs), drunk tanks (dangerous to have a drunken tank trundle across city streets!) and Nanny's favourite idea minimum pricing on alcohol.
Cameron will say that responsible drinking needs to “become a reality”.
It is all very well saying that increasing the minimum price of alcohol will in some way act as a panacea for our nation's ills as perceived by Nanny. However, there are a number of problems wrt minimum pricing:
1 It doesn't work. Go to Scandinavia, where alcohol prices are staggeringly high. and you will see people drinking in toilets, brewing their own illegal hooch and importing gallons of duty free booze from Denmark.
2 Increasing the price of alcohol (via tax or legislation on retailers) is a form of regressive taxation. Yet "regressiveness is a four letter word when it comes to taxation".
3 Our "respected" MPs have the luxury of taxpayer subsidised booze (and food) in the House of Commons.
Will they be giving this up?
No, I thought not!
Hypocrisy at its worst!
4 It is not for the state to define what is or what is not "responsible".
5 Nanny whines on that the cost of treating booze related illnesses etc is around £2.7BN. This is more than covered by the £9.7BN raised by alcohol duties.
Funny, isn't it, Nanny claims to hate booze yet she is delighted to make money out of it?
6 There was a sixth point, but my cat distracted me. Please fill this one in.
In short, Nanny's plan will fail.
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Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Nanny Wipes Your Arse
Loyal readers are well familiar with feeling that there are some in this country who will not function, even at the most basic level, without Nanny holding their hand and wiping their arse.
Well, be careful what you say for it has become fact!
A recent survey carried out by Education and Resources for Improving Childhood Continence and The Association of Teachers and Lecturers (ATL), an interesting combination of bodies!, found that there is a worrying increase in the number of children who are still in nappies when they start primary school.
Teachers find their lessons increasingly disrupted by having to "clear up accidents".
For why?
It seems that some parents now believe that it is the state's role (ie schools) to provide toilet training!
Some schools have even been forced to put on parent workshops to help with toilet training.
It is important to note that these findings do not relate to children who are ill, or who have special needs. They relate solely to the fit, able bodied and well (mentally and physically).
Ye gods!
Even the most primitive and slow witted of life forms on this planet manage to train their offspring wrt toilet matters (eg a cat uses a tray, a dog uses the neighbour's garden, a rat uses the local KFC etc).
How is it that the most "intelligent" life form on the planet now cannot even manage to do that?
Now myth has become truth, Nanny really does wipe your arse!
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Monday, February 13, 2012
Kowtowing To Hi Vis
I know that loyal readers of this site have a somewhat healthy "antipathy" towards the quasi authority status of those who don Nanny's uniform of "power", namely hi vis wearers.
However, there are some who are prone to kowtow to wearers of this garb. Therefore it should come as no surprise to anyone to learn that an "artful rapscallion" in Ramsgate has come up with a ruse, whereby he dons a hi vis jacket and pretends to be a dog warden.
What does this fake dog warden do?
Slap £50 on the spot fines on local dog owners for imaginary offences!
The local council have said that dog wardens are not empowered to issue on the spot fines. I dare say that is true. Unfortunately Nanny has empowered many other "wardens/community officers etc" with the power to slap fines on us that it hard to tell them apart.
I dare say Nanny will, in due course, empower dog wardens with the "right" to issue fines!
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Friday, February 10, 2012
Top Totty Replaced By Kanga
Following the furore over the banning by Nanny of Top Totty from the Strangers' Bar in the House of Commons, I am pleased to see that the brewer (Slater's) has unsurprisingly revealed that it has seen sales jump since Kate Green MP got in a hissy fit over the beer.
The parliamentary bar managers have since chosen their replacement for the Top Totty beer, the ironically named Kangaroo Court, brewed at Salopian Brewery on Mytton Oak Road in Shrewsbury.
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Thursday, February 09, 2012
Nanny Bans Snowmen
The recent flurries of snow have brought about something of a collective madness in the behaviour and mindset of our "beloved" and "respected" local councils.
For reasons best known to themselves councils up and down the country have been beheading and destroying snowmen constructed in public areas and parks.
Council workers smashed the heads of snowmen on the Homefield Recreation Ground in Chiswick. When the workmen were challenged about their snowmanicide, their excuse was that they were "protecting the grass".
What??
It is estimated that around 50 snowmen and several igloos were destroyed by the council workmen there. I understand that saws were used to decapitate some!
Other snowmanicides have been reported in Cambridge and Enfield.
Hounslow Council claim that they had no knowledge of their employees actions, and that the snowmanicide had not been sanctioned.
Council workmen in Enfield were easy to spot when the were committing snowmanicide.
How so?
They were wearing Hi Vis jackets!
Remember, if you see an incident of snowmanicide please report it on this site immediately!How so?
They were wearing Hi Vis jackets!
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Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Big Brother - Welcome To Camden III
I am "gemused" to see that, despite some heavy backtracking by Camden council over its Robocop talking CCTV installed at Walker House (filmed above by Jim Jepps, a local resident), some Labour councillors revealed their true nature.
According to Spiked, Roger Robinson said:
"People have been known to smash cars and steal motorbikes.
We’re entitled to do something."
"Entitled" Mr Robinson?
No, you are not "entitled", you are in your position at the sufferance of the people. It is for them to define and limit your role in their lives!
Oh, and as I pointed out yesterday, there is no farking crime at Walker House!
The state, councils and police will only be happy when public places (including social networks) are shut down (wrt social networks read this article about the internet on my Olympics site).
Despite the fact that camera no longer speaks, as I noted yesterday, it still sees.
In fact we are watched by around 4.5million CCTV cameras in this country.
Councils are the enemies of the people!
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Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Big Brother - Welcome To Camden II
In an update to my earlier article about the talking CCTV, installed at Walker House by Camden council, Camden council now claim that the voice system was activated accidentally.
Anyone believe that?
They have now deactivated the voice!
Snort!
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Big Brother - Welcome To Camden
My compliments to Camden Council for living "the dream", and turning Walker House (a housing estate) into a version of 1984.
The council, for reasons best known to themselves, have installed CCTV talking cameras in the communal grounds of Walker House.
What do these cameras do?
Well, if you happen to walk near them, they talk to you in an American accent and say:
Stop, this is a restricted area and your photograph is being taken. It will be sent for processing if you don't leave the area now."
The council claim that it is to stop anti social behaviour, drug dealing etc etc.
However, here are two modest factoids:
1 Not everyone who walks through the communal grounds is a criminal (these are communal grounds after all!).
2 The Home Office's crime-mapping site does not show any crimes at the estate in the last year.
These cameras are highly annoying, offensive, dangerous and bollocks!
Councils are the enemies of the people!
Enjoy the above footage taken by local resident Jim Jepps.
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Monday, February 06, 2012
Booze Matters - Just a Little Bit More
I am therefore hugely gemused to see that she has now started airing TV adverts that recommend that we drink "just a little bit more".
Hear hear hear!!
What?
What's that you say?
The adverts are warning us of the dangers of drinking "just a little bit more"?
Well that's a bit stupid isn't it?
An advert drawing our attention to drinking "just a little bit more" is in fact going to tempt us to drink "just a little bit more" isn't it?
Ho Hum, seemingly Nanny is of the view that these adverts will not tempt us to drink "just a little bit more" and is trying to warn us of the increased risks of mouth cancer from booze.
Will Nanny's MPs be giving up their subsidised booze then, in the face of this danger?
No, I thought not!
Wrt the risk of getting mouth cancer, here's the reality according to Cancer Research:
- The ACTUAL risk of contracting mouth cancer is approximately 8 in 100,000
That means that there is is a 99.992% chance that you WON'T get mouth cancer.
Drinking two glasses of wine per day reduces the risk that you WON'T get mouth cancer to 99.976%
As ever with Nanny, and the cretins in the media and House of Commons, the concept of risk has been distorted from almost zero chance to "absolutely definite" merely to support a political agenda.
This of course makes a mockery of all government health warnings, as no one will believe them anymore!
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
That means that there is is a 99.992% chance that you WON'T get mouth cancer.
Drinking two glasses of wine per day reduces the risk that you WON'T get mouth cancer to 99.976%
As ever with Nanny, and the cretins in the media and House of Commons, the concept of risk has been distorted from almost zero chance to "absolutely definite" merely to support a political agenda.
This of course makes a mockery of all government health warnings, as no one will believe them anymore!
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"
Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts
Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries
Sunday, February 05, 2012
Snow Business Like Snow Business
Over a year ago I wrote about BAA being unable to keep Thiefrow open during the snow.
Well here we are, some 13 months later, and BAA have once again demonstrated that they are unable to manage a piss up in a brewery.
Last night's "staggering" snow fall, of but a few centimetres, has caused BAA to cancel vast swathes of scheduled flights from Thiefrow today.
Evidently no one told BAA that snow was coming...oh, hang on a minute!!
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"
Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts
Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries
Friday, February 03, 2012
Nanny Bans Top Totty
I sometimes wonder why it is that we bother to elect politicians, if all it is they do is find remarkably irrelevant "issues" to get in a huff about instead of trying to address matters that are of greater concern and importance.
Step up to the plate Labour MP Kate Green who, evidently with nothing else to do in her job, has banned "Top Totty" ale from being served in the Strangers' Bar in the House of Commons.
For why?
Green was left ''disturbed'' after seeing the picture of the lady in a bikini on the beer pump.
Enter the fray Sally Bercow (the "respected" wife of the Speaker whose only claim to "fame" is for posing in a sheet and appearing on Big Brother), she bleated/tweeted “Cannot *believe* that there’s a beer called Top Totty on sale in the Commons! Outrageous – does Mr B know?”
Suffice to say this pathetic outburst has given some very decent publicity to the brewer of "Top Totty", Slater's.
Pathetic!
These are the same women who complain that women are not taken seriously in politics!
Of course, the other question is, why the hell are these people drinking booze that is subsidised by us when they tell us that we shouldn't be buying discounted booze from supermarkets!
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"
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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries
Thursday, February 02, 2012
My Child The Rioter - The Product of The Nanny State
On Tuesday evening I watched a BBC2 documentary about some of the people who rioted last summer (see it here "My Child The Rioter"), it featured interviews with some of the families and people who took part.
One particular individual, Ryan (there he is above with his father), particularly stood out. Aside from being a cretin, he happily spouted a home spun theory that his thievery that night was a "political" statement. He then went on to say that he hoped that the police got hurt.
Quote:
"I wanted to see policemen being attacked
I wanted to see them being injured, I wanted to see them being treated the way they treat us. This was going to change society. Hopefully for the better."
His parents, instead of admonishing him, said that had they been younger they would have joined in.
Ryan is a product of the Nanny state. He has been brought up from birth to believe that he is entitled to everything, and that when life lets him down (as it does for most people) it is not his fault but that of "society".
The "anger" (faux or genuine) of those who claim that their actions that night were some form of protest against the police or the state (quite how burning down local shops and stealing trainers amounts to a "political" action I'm not sure) has arisen because the rioters have been told that they are entitled to everything, yet have realised that they cannot have everyhting.
Life, like it or not, can be pretty shitty at times. We are all "victims" of luck (good/bad), circumstances, upbringing, location etc etc. Those who are mature enough to understand that things don't always go well, and that even if you do your best you can sometimes screw up, don't go round thieving and buring shops down.
Sadly, the Nanny state has left vast swathes of the population in a permanent "child like" mental state (adults unable to accept responsibility or to grow up), where life's kicks and knocks produce an immature tantrum and a burning sense of rage against the "unfairness" of the world (as demonstrated by the likes of Ryan).
What should be of great concern to us all is that the future of our country lies in the hands of people like Ryan!
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"
Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts
Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Prats of The Week - Sherborne Police
Therefore without further ado, I hereby award it this week to the Sherborne Police.
For why?
Just ask Mark Ashley-Miller, who runs a gift shop (The Present Finder) in Sherbrone.
A year ago Mr Ashley- Miller began selling calculators that were shaped like guns. Someone recently saw them in the shop and complained to the firearms police.
Can you guess what happened next children?
Yes, that's right, the police raided Mr Ashley-Miller's shop/warehouse and confiscated 30 calculators and various toy guns.
The police assessed the 'weapons' to decide if they should be destroyed or returned to the shop, and have now decided that they can be sold and are to return them to Mr Ashley-Miller.
The £6.50 'gun' calculator has a calculator keypad on the handle and an LCD display on the barrel. The user has to pull the trigger to calculate their sums. Here is a link to the website where you can buy a Gun Calculator.
Technically Mr Ashley-Miller might have been in breach of the Violent Crime Reduction Act 2006. However, given that he has been selling the gun calculators for almost a year, it is strange that the police have not warned him before about this or checked them.
In fact 370 of the gun calculators have already been sold, therefore (in theory) a large number of families may be expecting a visit from the Firearms Police.
Anyhoo, the calculators are to be returned.
A waste of time and resources!
Sherborne Police, well deserving "Prats of The Week".
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"
Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts
Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries
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