Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

With Thanks - National Armed Forces Day




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Wankers!



Here, in a nutshell, is why we should never trust Nanny with any data or information ever!
"The Government has been forced to suspend an online consultation into pornography controls after a security breach exposed respondents’ confidential answers and contact details."
Source The Independent.
 

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Friday, June 29, 2012

Fat Is Good!



I am gemused to see that Nanny's mantra that "fat is bad" was recently given a kick in its undercarriage by Dr Makio Iwashima, from the Loyola University Chicago Stritch School of Medicine.

Seemingly fat is in fact good, it helps to regulate the immune system and provides a first line of defence against infection and viruses. Fat may even help to regenerate damaged tissue after an injury.

The good fat is a membrane in the beer belly area, called the omentum. It covers most abdominal organs, and is where fat tissue is stored.

Nanny's anti fat obsession was primed and directed some 50 years or so ago as a result of some dodgy US research that laid the blame for all of our health problems on the fat content of our diets. The research ignored the fact that we actually grow fatter and do more damage to ourselves internally (eg diabetes etc) as a result of the sugar content of our foods, not the fat content.

Step forward the food industry and Nanny, which both colluded to convince us that fat was bad and that new processed foods that were "low in fat" were good for us.

What Nanny and the food industry don't tell you is that these foods are loaded with sugar, which (aside from being "addictive") piles on the pounds more rapidly than any fat (eg lard, butter etc) would ever do.

Nanny has in fact (courtesy of the food industry) been directing us to the wrong food groups, and has been pro-actively contributing to the "obesity epidemic" which she so hates!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, June 28, 2012

A Licence To Wank



I see that Nanny is very annoyed that people spend their days staring at computer porn wanking, instead of working to pay the taxes that she uses to live her life of bliss.

As such Nanny intends to make us apply for licences to wank.

Needless to say Nanny is using the "won't someone think of the children?" excuse for this intrusion into our internet activities.

Nanny wants to put extra pressure on computer users to filter out pornography when setting up internet accounts. Nanny wants people automatically barred from accessing "unsuitable" adult material unless they actually choose to view it.

Who decides what is "unsuitable" I wonder?

Define "porn"?

The excuse used is that it will "shield" children from pornography.

Bollocks!

When I was at school (a gazillion years before the internet) the school was awash with wank mags etc, many a pupil went blind as a result of excess fiddling.

Nanny has as much chance of blocking kids from seeing porn as she does of dis-inventing the wheel.

Needless to say it will not just be porn sites that she targets, she is also looking at other sites that she deems to be "inappropriate". A list no doubt that will grow with the effluxion of time!

I must stop typing now, as I seem to have an rsi of the wrist:)

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Farking Disgraceful!



My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to this disgraceful story about how some servicemen, preparing to attend a fallen comrade's funeral, were treated when tying to buy a cup of coffee.

As per my chums from ARRSE:
"Browns Bar in Coventry refused to serve a group of Soldiers a cup of Coffee before they buried their fallen comrade Cpl Michael Thacker.

Local and regional news has been contacted to help raise awareness of the event. The soldiers were refused service because they were in Uniform whilst taking a break from rehearsing the funeral service. The soldiers were simply wanting a morning coffee.


Cpl Thacker's Wife said of the incident

'' ... I have to say when I found out this news i was horrified. Especially seeing as one of the men in uniform was his grieving brother! The lack of respect you have shown my husband, me and the lads yesterday will never be forgotten by the people in Coventry''.

The page on
facebook has had almost 13,000 members in the past 4 hours. Please join even if you're not from Coventry. I spent 4 years in the city when at Uni there and this Bar has always been known for turning people away for feable reasons; but this is really low."
It is disgraceful how some people in this coutnry treat those who are in our armed forces (and those who have left the armed forces)!

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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Freedom Dinner



Smokers’ lobby group Forest tonight hosts a ‘Freedom Dinner’ to mark the fifth anniversary of the smoking ban in England [July 1st].
 
The event will also highlight what Forest calls a “growing disenchantment with excessive regulation” in tobacco control.
 
Former head of the British army General Sir Mike Jackson is one of three speakers at tonight’s event. Sir Mike, who commanded UN forces in Kosovo and peacekeeping missions in Bosnia, is a keen cigar smoker.
 
Other speakers are Claire Fox, director of the Institute of Ideas, and writer, journalist and broadcaster James Delingpole.
 
The event begins with a drinks reception on the smoking terrace overlooking the fountains of Cabot Square in London’s Canary Wharf. Guests will then sit down to a three-course meal, after dinner speeches and live music.
 
Simon Clark, director of Forest, said: “The smoking ban has been a disaster for thousands of pubs and clubs, many of which have been forced to close as a direct result of the ban. 
 
“Instead of learning a painful lesson about the effects of excessive regulation, the government has chosen to ban the display of tobacco in shops and is now considering plans to put tobacco in standard packs, regardless of the damage it will do to retailers who will almost certainly lose out to counterfeiters and criminal gangs selling illicit cigarettes.
 
“The Freedom Dinner is an opportunity to demonstrate that there is a demand for comfortable smoking rooms in pubs and bars, and that many adults are sick and tired of being harassed by government and the tobacco control industry.”
 
Forest was founded in 1979 by former Battle of Britain fighter pilot Sir Christopher Foxley-Norris. Supporters include artist David Hockney, Oscar-winning screenwriter Sir Ronald Harwood, musician Joe Jackson and inventor Trevor Baylis.
 
 
The Freedom Dinner, Tuesday 26th June 2012
Boisdale of Canary Wharf, Cabot Square, London E14 4QT
 
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, June 25, 2012

Waist Not Want Not

FFS Nanny is having a go at "fat" people again, to be specific "fat" women.

Is this any way to start the week?

Anyhoo, according to Nuffield Health the average woman’s waist measures 5cm (2in) more than the recommendation of 80cm (31.5in) or less (who decides what a good or bad waist is?). Nanny is of the view that this puts the majority of women in the UK in the “high health risk” category.

Nuffield also fret that the average waist to hip ratio has also increased, ie an apple body shape has become more common than the healthier “pear figure”.

I love a good pear I do, yes missus I really do!

For good measure, Nuffield then destroy their credibility by throwing in some statistics about the defunct and derided body mass index (BMI); in which over half of the 54,000 women surveyed had a BMI that exceeded Nanny's "healthy" 18-25 range.

Wasn't Nanny only a few weeks ago fretting over the negative body image issues that the media have caused?

You can't win with her!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, June 22, 2012

Olympics Madness



I have a sneaking suspicion that Nanny is taking the forthcoming Olympics Greedfest a little too seriously.

As Helen Perry of Bridlington discovered recently, when she made a wee joke on Faecesbook about squirting the Olympic flame out with a water pistol.

Can you guess what Nanny did children?

Yes, that's right, she was threatened with arrest by Humberside police.

Good grief!

I trust I am not alone in regarding the forthcoming Olympics as being a colossal waste of time and money?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Nanny Bans 4am

My thanks to uber loyal reader Tonk, who pointed me towards a wonderful example of Prattery from Nanny's minions from the licensing department of Spelthorne Borough Council.

Get Wokingham reports that licensing officers "stormed" The Feathers (a village pub in Laleham Broadway).

For why?

The council were very worried that music would be played until at least 4am (without the requisite licence).

How did they come to this conclusion?

A gig had been booked, and advertised, featuring a band called "4am".

Hence the advert read:

- "Music From 4am"

Aha!

Suffice to say, the council were apprised of their mistake!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Booze Matters - Nanny's Advice To Pregnant Women Is Bollocks

As loyal readers are only too well aware, Nanny has a real bee in her bonnet about booze. This is rather odd really, given how much our "respected" politicians drink (at taxpayer subsidised prices).

Anyhoo, of particular angst to Nanny is the fact that pregnant women drink. This issue has rankled Nanny for many years now, in fact in March 2008 (this site really has been around for a very long time hasn't it?) I wrote:
"Our old chums from NICE (National Institute for Clinical Excellence - often featured on this site - see label at end of this article) have put their jack boots on again.

This time they have waded into the debate over drinking whilst pregnant.

NICE have decreed that pregnant women should drink nothing at all whilst pregnant, most certainly not during the first three months of pregnancy.

Now, here's why this edict is bollocks:

1 Women have been drinking for millennia during pregnancy, in moderation there is no damage or risk to the baby.

2 Given that for the first few weeks of pregnancy many women do not even know that they are pregnant, how the fark are they meant not to drink during the first 3 months?

3 Here is the clincher, NICE admit that their advice is based on no scientific evidence whatsoever. Hoisted by their own petard, Nanny's chums admit that they now issue edicts without any scientific backing!
"
Aside from the fact that NICE and Nanny admit that there is no scientific evidence for their prejudice and edict against pregnant women drinking (ironic given that booze is the cause of more pregnancies in this country than sober coitus), loyal readers know that Nanny bases all of her edicts on prejudices and "dodgy science" (ie Nanny's basis for her advice on all matters is shoddy, and does not stand up to rigorous scientific scrutiny).

I am therefore highly gemused to see that some Danish scientists have actually bothered to do some research into the issue, and have concluded in research published in BJOG that drinking a low or moderate level of alcohol in early pregnancy is not linked to developmental problems in five-year-olds.

In fact one to eight drinks a week was not linked to harm.

The even better news is that, unlike in the UK where Nanny defines a drink as 7.9g of alcohol, the Danes define it as 12g!

Huzzah!

Let's all go and drink in Denmark!

As ever with all things, ignore the advice that Nanny gives you and vary your diet and pleasures (we all like our pleasures don't we?;)) to suit your body and personal circumstances.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Nanny Bans Grandparents



You know we do seem to live in a very strange country indeed, ruled over by a bureaucratic "elite" who appear to be totally disconnected from real life.

On the one hand, if the media are to be believed, care homes for children allow their residents to routinely go missing for hours/days at a time without any action/reaction.

However, when some grandparents have the "temerity" to send their estranged grandchildren a birthday card the state weighs in with the vigour and force of the Witchfinder General.

Such are the cases highlighted by Jane Jackson, a grandparent living in Bristol, who runs a support group for grandparents.

She claims that some grandparents who send cards and presents are threatened with arrest for "harassment", and that some other grandparents are asked to attend police stations where their DNA and fingerprints are taken.

Mrs Jackson said she had been contacted by 'a handful' of grandparents who had been arrested or threatened with arrest, but claimed there were more who were too scared to speak out.

The issue comes down to Nanny draining all commonsense out of the system. Whilst it is clear that real harassment needs to be dealt with, there are areas (at least to my simple mind) where if some commonsense were applied the state would not need to be so heavy handed with most of these hapless grandparents that Mrs Jackson is campaigning for.

As noted before, Nanny is devoid of commonsense.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, June 18, 2012

Prats of The Week - West Dunbartonshire Council

'Tis a "sunny" and "cheerful" Monday morning, therefore what better time than to award one of my prestigious and internationally renowned Prats of The Week Awards?

This week it goes to West Dunbartonshire Council.

For why?

Just ask the teachers, parents and children of Gartocharn Primary school, who were trying to enjoy their sports' day recently.

To make the occasion extra special the school decided to hire the services of the London Olympics chief starter (Alan Bell), who was going to use a starting pistol to start the various races etc etc.

However, he and the school had reckoned without the health and safety Gestapo from the council.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, Nanny banned the use of the starting pistol.

For why?

The council were worried that the sound would frighten the children!

Have the council never watched kids at firework shows?

Kids love bangs and loud noises!

The council's solution?

To play a recording of a starting pistol from an iPod, or at least that was their "solution" until they were persuaded that they would like like complete morons if they went ahead with that. Instead a klaxon was used.

West Dunbartonshire Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Argyll and Bute Council - Knobheads of The Year



I am always gemused to see that Nanny and her minions both past and present (eg a "blast from the past" Mary Whitehouse) never learn that when something is banned the banning gives that product/service or article an humongous amount of publicity, and it instantly becomes highly desirable.

Step forward Argyll and Bute council who in the space of 24 hours managed to make global knobheads of themselves and give Martha Payne's (she is only 9) website, that shows photos of her school dinners, the sort of international publicity that media companies can only dream of.

Martha's "crime" was to take photos of her school dinners, and post them together with a brief commentary on her website. The council got rather fed up with this, and on Thursday instructed Martha's head teacher to tell Martha to stop it. For absolute clarity the school was instructed by the council to ban Martha from blogging, it was not the school's decision to ban Martha.

Cue an outpouring of international furore, and an internet campaign to overturn the ban.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, Argyll and Bute council backtracked and on Friday council leader Roddy McCuish told the BBC that he had instructed senior officials to lift the ban immediately.

Argyll and Bute council, well deserving knobheads of the year!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, June 15, 2012

Nanny's Attitude To Rain



Given that we are now in the midst of our usual high quality, warm and sunny British summer (that'll be the global warming then!), I am gemused to see that Nanny has banned postmen from delivering post on rainy days.

For why?

Health and safety!

The ever efficient and technologically up to date Royal Mail has suspended deliveries in the area of South Parade Doncaster during "adverse wet weather conditions", after a postman slipped on algae and moss on the pavement and broke his shoulder.

Customers have been told to collect their post from the town's main sorting office during bad weather.

Royal Mail spokeswoman Morag Turnbull said:
"Last Friday, a member of staff slipped on algae and moss on the pavement at South Parade due to adverse wet weather and consequently broke his shoulder.

Following a risk assessment of the area, we have notified Doncaster City Council of the danger posed by the poor condition of the pavement.

We have explained to customers in South Parade that we must, only during adverse wet weather conditions, suspend deliveries to their address as a precautionary measure until the pavement surfaces are improved by Doncaster City Council.

Customers will be able to collect their mail from Doncaster Delivery Office.

We know this is inconvenient and we apologise to customers, but the safety and welfare of our staff is paramount and we only suspend deliveries if the safety of our postmen and women is at risk."
Agh!

Whenever I hear the phrase "risk assessment", I instinctively reach for my revolver!

Anyhoo, unsurprisingly the council deny that there is anything wrong with the pavement.

Therefore the customers of Royal Mail are caught in a Colombian stand off, between the Royal Mail and the council.

Good luck with that then!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Big Brother - A Nation of Suspects



Remember in May 2008 when I wrote this?
"I see that Nanny's much "respected" and "efficient" Home Orifice is considering plans to build a humongous database to store the details of every phone call made, every email sent and every web page visited by British citizens in the previous year."
At the time the Conservatives campaigned against such a move.

Move forward some four years and oddly enough, on the same day that Cameron is appearing before Leveson, the Home Orifice and Theresa May have chosen to announce that Nanny intends to go forward with plans to monitor our electronic and online activities.

Nanny intends to track everything we do electronically, in a way that no other democratic country does.

Nanny uses the convenient "it will catch paedophiles" excuse.

Ms May claims that Nanny's laws would only be used to access "crucial bits of information" and would not invade people's privacy. She denied that there was a lack of control over the laws despite admitting that there were more than 500,000 requests for such information.

Pathetic!

The Telegraph quotes Dominic Raab, a Tory MP:
"Mass indiscriminate surveillance risks turning Britain into a nation of suspects. 

The security case for extra powers has not been made out, and the technical risks of fraud and data loss are huge.”
David Davis sums up the issue succinctly by noting that it would only catch the innocent and incompetent. He went on to say (as per the Guardian):
"This is exactly the same thing that Labour proposed in 2009. They went from a central database to this and we attacked it fiercely. In fact, David Cameron attacked it.

It's not content, but it's incredibly intrusive.

If they really want to do things like this – and we all accept they use data to catch criminals – get a warrant. Get a judge to sign a warrant, not the guy at the next desk, not somebody else in the same organisation."
He has hit the nail on the head, as with all of Nanny's plans for introducing new laws on this that and the other, she always conveniently fails to remember that we already have laws and procedures (eg relating to warrants) that can (if used properly) deal with issues such as "online criminality".

However, even if we manage to stop this, I am afraid far worse is coming.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present project Stellar Wind (due to go live in 2013):
"Its purpose: to intercept, decipher, analyze, and store vast swaths of the world’s communications as they zap down from satellites and zip through the underground and undersea cables of international, foreign, and domestic networks. The heavily fortified $2 billion center should be up and running in September 2013.
Flowing through its servers and routers and stored in near-bottomless databases will be all forms of communication, including the complete contents of private emails, cell phone calls, and Google searches, as well as all sorts of personal data trails—parking receipts, travel itineraries, bookstore purchases, and other digital “pocket litter.”....

Everybody’s a target; everybody with communication is a target.
Good luck everyone, we are entering an era where will be watched, monitored and manipulated by the state as never before!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The Preset Agenda of Myth Busters



Yesterday I wrote about the Myth Busters:
"a panel set up by Employment Minister Chris Grayling, to fight Nanny and her evil plans. The 13-strong committee includes an ex-police officer, a magistrate and an insurance boss and is led by Health and Safety Executive chair Judith Hackitt."
I noted that it was "odd that they have never made contact with this site wrt Nanny issues", and decided to drop them (via their contact form) a wee note reminding them of this site's existence:
"Are you aware of www.nannyknowsbest.com established in 2004, dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain?"
Here is their reply:
"Dear Ken 

Thank-you for your email to the Myth Busters Challenge Panel. 

Unfortunately your issue does not meet the Terms of Reference of the panel and therefore we are unable to look into it. 

Many thanks. 

Sue Bartley 
Myth Busters Challenge Panel 
ChallengePanel@hse.gsi.gov.uk"
A remarkably unimpressive reply, it indicates that they didn't read what I wrote and that the panel intends to work to its own preset agenda and is not receptive to input or suggestions from the real world.

Feel free to drop them a note via their email address or drop Chris Grayling a note via his email address chris.grayling.mp@parliament.uk.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The Dangers of Blu-tack



Mt thanks to a loyal reader, who alerted me to a particularly daft piece of Nannyism concerning blu-tack.

It seems that staff at one of the Perth and Kinross Council-run school campuses were told to stop using blu-tack on windows.

For why?

In the panic ridden world that Nanny has created, the staff were of the view that if blu-tack were to come into contact with some other chemical in the window, the window would shatter.

Step forward the Health and Safety Executive's Myth Busters Challenge Panel, which told the staff that this panic was based on utter bollocks. The Myth Busters instructed the school to reverse the edict, and replace the blu-tack.

The reason that this story has come to prominence, is that the Myth Busters are happily telling the world and his wife about their success in overturning one of Nanny's daft edicts.

Good for them!

So who exactly are the Myth Busters?

It seems that they are a panel set up by Employment Minister Chris Grayling, to fight Nanny and her evil plans. The 13-strong committee includes an ex-police officer, a magistrate and an insurance boss and is led by Health and Safety Executive chair Judith Hackitt.

Here is a link to their website: Myth Busters.

How odd that they have never made contact with this site wrt Nanny issues?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, June 11, 2012

Cameron Leaves Child in Pub



I am hugely gemused to see that, on the day that the Communities Secretary Eric Pickles is promoting a scheme to give English councils a financial incentive to deal with Nanny's "troubled families", it emerges that David and Samantha Cameron left their eight-year-old daughter, Nancy, in the Plough Inn at Cadsden after having Sunday lunch.

Nancy, if the story is to be believed, spent about 15 minutes at the Plough Inn before Cameron returned to collect her. Number 10 says the couple were "distraught" when they realised Nancy was not with them.

I seem to recall that Nanny hauls some parents into court over child abandonment, I assume she will be doing the same here?

Anyhoo, disregarding the hoo hah that this "oversight" has caused, I fail to see why some people have got so worked up over an eight year old being left in a perfectly respectable/safe pub during the day.

When I was a kid my parents would sometimes go to a pub for an hour and leave me in the car in the car park. I was perfectly happy with that, as every fifteen minutes or so, one of them or their chums would come out to say hello and bring me sausages, pasties, pies and cans of coke.

It did me no harm, I was taught (as all kids were then) not to speak to strangers etc so I would never have been dimwitted enough to roll the window down if a stranger ever approached (which they never did anyway), and a good time was had by all!

FYI, on the subject of speaking to strangers, had the internet been around then I would have also been taught not to be idiotic enough to speak online to strangers (not that my father would have given me access to the net at that age anyway!).

Sadly now thanks to Nanny's penchant for interfering in family life, and her ban on hot cabinets in pubs (this means there are very few pubs that now serve pies and sausages as snacks), such a thing can no longer occur.

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Sunday, June 10, 2012

Censorship



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Friday, June 08, 2012

Tesco's Tourettes



Well done Tesco for beating Nanny's strict censorship rules!

What am I talking about?

I will tell you.

Tesco recently offered for sale some rustic looking microwave Italian meals:

- “Le Palle de Nonno” and
- “Coglioni di Mulo”

Lovely!

Nice Italian name, nice packaging etc!

However, there was one small fly in the oinkment, Tesco didn't bother to check what these phrases meant.

- “Le Palle de Nonno” means "Grandad's Bollocks".

- “Coglioni di Mulo” means "Donkey Bollocks".

Well done Tesco for giving me a good laugh at Nanny's expense!

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Thursday, June 07, 2012

Helpful Advice To Drinkers From Nanny



Apparently, and I have to take other people's word for it, Euro 2012 is soon to descend upon the waiting world.

I am not, nor ever have been, a football fan; therefore the forthcoming event will pass me by in the same manner as a gnat flapping its wings in Asia Pacific does.

Anyhoo, I am pleased to be able to advise you (thanks to uber loyal reader Tonk for pointing it out) that Nanny's Thames Valley Police have issued some helpful advice (and a video) for the forthcoming festivities to those who wish to get drunk.

Huzzah!

I don't doubt their good intentions, or indeed the veracity of the advice. However, I very much doubt that the cretins who are intent on drinking themselves into a fighting stupor will read or take notice of the advice.

Here is an extract:
"Thames Valley Police would like to highlight to those who are planning on drinking too much throughout the football tournament, the consequences of getting involved in a fight.
  • Apart from being banned from your favourite local pub, getting involved in a fight can land you a night in a cell and a criminal record for life
  • You could end up seriously injuring yourself or someone else and these could have life changing health implications
  • Getting into trouble with the law could be seen as gross misconduct by your employer and you could lose your job
  • Having a criminal record could make it very difficult for you to get another job
  • You may not be able to travel to America if you have a criminal conviction. Travelling to a country where you need a visa or if you need a working permit can be very difficult with a criminal record
  • Your car insurance could go up. Having a criminal record will make it difficult to get any other kind of insurance
  • To get a mortgage you have to disclose any unspent convictions
  • Colleges and Universities will have their own policies about misconduct and getting in trouble with the police could have a knock on effect with your education.
  • Lying to your employer or on any kind of application which asks you to disclose any criminal convictions could be seen as fraud and lead to a further conviction."
I am of course happy to be proven wrong!

It is ironic that they also say that:
"There is a widely held view that large football tournaments can lead to a rise in violence against the person offences. This doesn’t appear to be the case as violence against the person crime figures have dropped by 23.9% across Thames Valley in 2012 since 2011."
So does this advice really work, or is it a case that Nanny likes to show us that she is doing something?

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Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Nanny Bans Jubilee Bunting



Good heavens, that was a long and wet weekend!

Anyhoo, here we are back again after the Jubilee celebrations. Unsurprisingly, Nanny did her best to put the mockers on them.

In the build up the the celebrations Nanny told her civil servants in Whitehall to remove bunting and decorations from her offices.

For why?

It was not "appropriate to a professional workplace" to have the decorations and, seemingly, the use of chairs/tables etc to stand on to put up the decorations was a health and safety hazard.

Therefore Nanny instructed her civil servants to remove the bunting, but not to take it down themselves (lest it be a further breach of health and safety)!

For good measure Nanny also told her staff that using printers to make the bunting was not helping the environmental targets!
 
I understand that George Osborne stuck two fingers up to Nanny, and told the staff to ignore the anti bunting memo.
 
I have to say that I find Nanny's attitude to health and safety wrt the Jubilee somewhat confusing. On the one hand she bans people from using chairs etc to hang bunting yet, on the other, she forces an elderly gentleman and lady to stand in the freezing wind and rain for hours on a boat on the Thames, dressed in nothing more than a shawl and dress uniform!
 
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Saturday, June 02, 2012

Happy Diamond Jubilee!



In keeping with the spirit of the occasion, I would like to wish all my loyal readers and indeed Her Majesty a happy, enjoyable, rain free and sunny Diamond Jubilee bank holiday weekend.

Nanny, needless to say, is trying to put the mockers on it by telling us how to "keep safe" etc. Two such examples of Nannyism have kindly provided by Tonk (I am surprised Nanny hasn't told us to remember to breath during the festivities):

- Thames Valley Police

- Get Wokingham

Feel free to send me a link to any really daft advice from Nanny wrt the Jubilee, I will feature it next week.

In the meantime, I suggest that you all crack open the Pimm's, gin, vodka, champers or Red Stripe!

Happy Diamond Jubilee!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, June 01, 2012

The Dangers of Alka Seltzer - What The Fark!



In 2007 I wrote about being refused Alka Seltzer in my own club, and wondered at the time why such a harmless substance is deemed to be so dangerous.

Well here we are some five years later, and the other day I received my home delivery of Sainsburys' groceries (the usual items; gallons of booze, some food, Alka Seltzer etc etc).

The bill, when it is presented, always identifies the "age restricted" items (ie booze and fags). Therefore imagine my surprise to observe this time, that Alka Seltzer is now classified as "age restricted".

What the fark!!??

I appreciate that some "over the counter" medicines, if overused by cretinous teenagers for "fun", can be dangerous. However, what on earth is the danger presented by Alka Seltzer and what on earth would a teenager want to do with it other than cure his/her hangover?

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries