Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.
Showing posts with label pies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pies. Show all posts

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Nanny Unbans Cakes



On Tuesday I wrote that Nanny had banned a mother and daughter from selling homemade cakes at the daughter's school, because of health and safety concerns.

It seems that this story and other similar ones have prompted the Food Standards Authority (FSA) to engage its brain and apply some commonsense. My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to the  FSA statement that volunteer cooks and charity groups, who occasionally prepare food for community events, are not covered by EU laws that have been invoked to ban people from preparing food on an occasional basis for others to consume.

This means that occasional cooks are no longer need to possess a food hygiene certificate before they are allowed to offer their wares for sale.

As per the Mail:
"There is no rule banning the sale of homemade cakes at school fĂȘtes or other community events."
Nice to see the FSA using some commonsense!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, August 04, 2011

The Dangers of Sooty

Sooty
I see that Nanny has failed in her duty re warning us about the dangers of pizzas being thrown by Sooty.

Really?

Yes, just ask Paul Daniels who was filming a scene for The Sooty Show.

It seems that Sooty threw a pizza at Daniels so hard (as part of the show), that Daniels suffered a black eye and had to be taken to hospital for treatment.

Sooty

Why did Nanny not stop this blatant disregard of health and safety rules?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Dangers of Pies II - Who Ate All the Pies? I Did!

Pies

On Friday I wrote:

".. the financially opaque, yet vociferous, lobby group the Consensus Action on Salt and Health (CASH) has made a study of 526 pie, mash and gravy products.

They conclude that they are too salty!
.."

In order to show my true "respect" for CASH and their opinions I decided to conduct my own study this weekend. I consumed a large number of pork pies, sausages wrapped in bacon and scotch eggs on Saturday; followed by a chicken and bacon slice and scotch eggs for Sunday lunch, rounding off Sunday evening with a minced beef and onion pie with large chips, mushy peas and saveloys.

I was worried about the salt content of Sunday's pies, therefore I added more (freshly ground sea salt of course).

I was also concerned that the salt should be adequately excreted from my body, so therefore on Saturday I washed the pork pies down with copious quantities of Mateus Rose, Bacardi, Red Stripe and Champagne. Sunday's pies were washed down with 3 cans of Red Stripe and 2 pints of Fosters.

Sorted!

Eat More Pies!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Dangers of Pies

Desperate Dan

I see that the financially opaque, yet vociferous, lobby group the Consensus Action on Salt and Health (CASH) has made a study of 526 pie, mash and gravy products.

They conclude that they are too salty!

Particular venom is directed at the chicken and mushroom pie with chips or mash, gravy and peas from Wetherspoons which contains 7.5g of salt.

Blah blah blah!

Here's a few factoids:

1 Salt is necessary for our survival

2 Those with high blood pressure are able to choose not to eat high salt products

3 Drink plenty of water and exercise properly to bring up a sweat, and you will lose any "alleged excess" salt in your body

4 CASH receive finance from the FSA, which means that a government organ is funding a body which is dedicated to changing government policy. That is not right!

5 Cash do not publish any financial data in their annual reports eg:

- who funds them?
- how much do they receive?
- how much are their office bearers paid?
- what do they spend their money on?

Beware of shouty, opaque self elected pressure groups!

Eat more pies!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

The Dangers of Pies

The Dangers of PiesAs we saw over the weekend, mass gatherings of people organised via the net can cause Nanny a few headaches.

I refer of course to the last night of legal drinking on the tube party, last Saturday, which on the whole was good natured but towards the end of the evening got a bit out of hand.

Anyhoo, Nanny normally does her best to stop such gatherings of people; as the pie flingers of Brighton recently found to their cost.

The world's largest ever pie fight, scheduled to have taken place on 24 May in Brighton, had to be cancelled as a result of concerns over health and safety.

Pie Fight Brighton, which had been promoted (just like the last night of drinking on the tube) through Facebook, was abandoned when the Sussex Police intervened. Seemingly Nanny was rather spooked when she realised that over 1,000 people had signed up to take part.

The event was to have been a spontaneous 10 minute "splatterthon", but officers have asked for a postponement so it can be properly organised with the backing of local agencies.

A pie fight spokesman sent out a message to members saying:

"At the time there were less than 100 people signed up. Now there's more than 1,000 and, unsurprisingly, the police aren't too happy about it.

The police have a good sense of humour and think it's a fun idea and have suggested we organise the event for real. Okay, it's not as spontaneous as it was but we could easily turn this into a world record attempt
."

The new date and location for the postponed pie fight have not been confirmed. I wonder if the council will try to ban it on the grounds of public liability insurance being insufficient?

In case you are worried about the waste of food, participants have been advised to make their custard pies out of shaving foam.

The net is a very powerful tool for mobilising people, and Nanny is afraid of it.

Good!



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Nanny's Fag Fetish

Nanny's Fag FetishFarking hell!

Nanny is still going on about farking fags!

She really ought to get some therapy over this unhealthy obsession with smoking and fag related issues.

Anyhoo, this time Nanny has decided that taxation, banning adverts, banning smoking in public places etc is still not enough to demonise the evil weed. Nanny now wants fags to be sold "under the counter", shops will be banned from displaying tobacco products. Vending machines in pubs and restaurants will also be banned.

Why?

Nanny seems to think that this will reduce the number of children who start smoking.

I didn't know kids regularly wandered into pubs, unchallenged, and bought fags.

Nanny's best chum Dawn Primarolo (once known as "Red Dawn" for extremist left views), the Minister for Public Health, says that this new measure if implemented will save lives:

"It's vital we get across the message to children that smoking is bad. If that means stripping out vending machines or removing cigarettes from behind the counter, I'm willing to do that."

How very "noble" of her!

The consultation process will begin in late May, once complete Nanny will then ignore the results and push ahead anyway.

OK, so here's why this idea is bollocks:
  • This will drive fag selling to the underworld, thus boosting the revenues of criminals and low life scum (just as drugs, gambling and booze bans have all done in the past).


  • Children are instinctively drawn to anything deemed to be naughty or illegal, this makes fags even more tempting to them.


  • Small/corner shops do not have the space to have an "under the counter" operation. This will effectively destroy the corner shops, and leave the supermarkets in control of what we buy.


  • Aside from fags, shops sell a whole myriad of products that Nanny hates (sweets, chocolates, booze, porn, pies, pasties, patties etc); will these be banned too? Another nail in the coffin of the corner shops, which only survive because they sell these products.


  • We live in a free market economy, shops have the right to display whatever products they wish in any manner that they wish. Consumers have the right to buy whatever they wish.


  • Fag packets have to be least inspiring piece of marketing design on the planet, there is nothing intrinsically attractive about them; ie they are not at all tempting.


  • Nanny makes a nice little earner from the tax on fags, what is she going to do without that revenue stream?


  • Once Nanny has banned fags, she will ban; booze, meat, fat, milk, eggs, cheese, sweets, chocolate etc. The fanatics who push for these bans "get off" from the power kick it gives them, they like to control the lives of others.


  • The argument put forward by Nanny and the butchers' profession that lives and money will be saved, misses a rather essential point. Fags generate tax revenue, which in part goes to pay for the health care of those who become ill from fag related issues. Remove the fags, and you remove the revenue stream and allegedly "grant" people a longer life.

    However, those that live to a "ripe old age" are invariably condemned to years of senility, dementia, frailty, pain and misery in one of Nanny's horrific geriatric wards; ie they are condemned to a living death. These wards cost money to maintain, but the costs are not offset by taxes on fags; therefore the costs to society of an ageing population in terms of money and suffering terms are higher.


  • Nanny and the butchers' profession ignores the fact that it's not the length of life that counts, but the quality.

    We as a society are ignoring the fundamental problem that extending people's life spans, without taking into account the quality of those extended lifespans, is storing up trouble for the future and wrong.

    The butchers' profession and Nanny do not have the moral right to force us to live longer than we were physically/mentally designed to do.
All in all the proposal is truly appalling, on so many levels. Unfortunately, Nanny will implement it because she doesn't give a fark about the consequences.

Background on Red Dawn:

Dawn Primarolo spent ten years at the Treasury as a minister under Gordon Brown, a sentence longer than many serious criminals have to serve. In that job, it is fair to say that she was not universally commended for her competence, more often than not being wheeled out to take a Commons beating for some Treasury blunder or other.

Despite campaigning against the first Gulf War in 1991, she voted in favour of invading Iraq in 2003, and against any investigation into the invasion after it had taken place. She has voted in favour of ID cards and increased university tuition fees.

As Paymaster General, Dawn Primarolo was responsible for the administration of the Tax Credits system, intended to provide working families with financial support. This system is of course a complete shambles (see www.hmrcisshite.com).

In 2003, a Treasury select committee member accused her of "losing control of her department" after it became known that Inland Revenue buildings under Primarolo's control had been sold to tax-haven companies. This came shortly after she had "insisted ... the Child tax credit scheme was a "success"", despite Inland Revenue staff walking out in protest against the pressure they were being placed under.

In 2005, PM Tony Blair was forced to apologise after a report by the Parliamentary Ombudsman that Primarolo had failed to give Parliament accurate information. Primarolo admitted at the same time that she had been fully aware "about the extent of the problems".

She was responsible for introducing the controversial IR35 tax rules.

In July 2007 she was appointed minister of state at the Department of Health.

How many hospitals has she ever visited, during her tenure in orifice?

ZERO!

She doesn't like fat people either.

Here is her email address primarolod@parliament.uk, why not drop her a line?

Monday, December 03, 2007

Nanny Bans Mince Pies

Nanny Bans Mince Pies
"Tis the season to be merry,

Trah Lah Lah
..."


It's that time of year again where people do their best to have a good time, and Nanny does her best to stick her nose in where it is not wanted.

Nanny's chum Neil Davies, headmaster at Mynydd Cynffig Junior School in Kenfig Hill, has decreed that home-made mince pies and other Christmas cakes are to be banned, because in his view they pose a health and safety threat.

The children at his school were looking forward to taking their mothers' highly toxic cakes to the school's annual Christmas sale.

However, Davies banned them because he believes that some children have allergies to certain foods and he could never be sure of the ingredients which had been used in home-made produce.

Quote:

"There is a risk of someone becoming ill

from something home-made.

I don't know what the ingredients are

and there are allergies.

Because of things like that,

we made a decision as a school.

I have had no complaints from anyone

linked to the school about this.

I have got to guarantee the health

and safety of the pupils
."

Here's why he is talking bollocks:

1 There is a risk in every food product we eat

2 You cannot eliminate risk

3 To attempt to wrap children in cotton wool is a very bad way to prepare them for the real world

4 He has not got to "guarantee" health and safety

5 How many thousands of kids die each year from eating mince pies?

6 Children and adults eat themselves sick over Christmas

7 Home made food is better than shop made shite

8 I bet he has had complaints...

Here's a complaint, one mother is quoted:

"It seems crazy.

We invited our children's friends round

for parties at home and serve up mince pies

we've cooked,

so what's the difference selling them

at the Christmas school fair
?"

Children wrapped in cotton wool make lousy adults, denying them a decent level of exposure to the real world is a form of abuse.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Prats of The Week

Prats of The WeekWell folks, it's that time again...time to award my coveted "Prat of The Week" award.

This time the award goes to the Trading Standards team of Dorset County Council (ah how refreshing, yet another local council making a fool of itself!).

So, what have they done to deserve this award?

Well the good old boys from the Trading Standards team were examining the Sgt Bub Bakery in Weymouth, which has been run by Val Temple for the last 30 years or so. The team unearthed a horrifying discovery, concerning the ingredients of some of Val's cakes.

What was that then Ken?

Did they contain poison?

No!

Were they made with GM products?

No! (and who gives a stuff anyway?)

Was the bakery dirty?

No!

It turns out that Vals' Paradise Slice didn't come from paradise, her Pig Tarts contained no pork and her Robin Tarts didn't contain any robins.

Yes, that's right, Val was accused of mislabelling the products and has to change the names of them.

So, let us be absolutely clear, the good old boys in Trading Standards were worried that people would be buying the products under the mistaken belief that they contained pigs, robins and a little bit of paradise.

How stupid do they think that we are?

What about Swiss rolls, shepherd's pies or baby's head puddings (the correct name for steak and kidney pudding) then?

Val is needless to say totally unimpressed with this.

Quote:

"It's a joke. It's an insult to the public.

Of course my cakes don't contain pig,

robin or come from paradise.

Where is paradise anyway?

It's absolutely ridiculous.

What's next - Shepherd's Pie?

Where will it all end?

You could apply it to everything.

It's so silly
."

The Paradise Slice is made from a 120-year-old recipe and includes almonds, sultanas and cherries. The fact that people have eaten this slice for 120 years without any problems is of course irrelevant to Nanny's Trading Standards, the slice will now be called an "almond, fruit and nut" slice.

Val noted:

"The Trading Standards have been coming here

for the last 26 years and only this year

have they made this decision.

A woman officer came in and said they were

acting on a complaint over my labelling
."

At this point I have to ask, what sad loser made the complaint in the first place? What kind of person has such an empty life that they make an effort to raise such a complaint?

Why did Dorset County Council waste tax payers' money on this fools errand?

A customer, James Marper, wryly observed:

"It's complete madness.

What are they going to ban next - spotted dick?

Who do these officials think they are?

Where has common sense gone?

Val should bake a "nutty as a fruitcake"

to mock the small-minded people who have

had the nerve to enforce these rules.

Tax payers are shelling out so much money

and to see it being paid to these

interfering idiots is extremely disheartening
."

That is the reality of living in the Nanny state, small minded zealots are allowed to wield power over those of us who are capable of exercising common sense and who take responsibility for our own actions.

Ivan Hancock, Dorset County Council's Trading Standards manager, said:

"The fact is that food needs to be properly described

so that the consumer can tell what it is.

There is nothing wrong with using other names

but it must be accompanied by the true name of the food.

Consumers have the right to know what is in food
."

The customer could of course just ask Val what is in the cake, surely???

Dorset County Council Trading Standards team, well deserving of the Prats of The Week award.

Feel free to drop them a note here tradingstandards@dorsetcc.gov.uk

Whilst we are on the subject, are there any other products that would upset the Trading Standards team (eg Spitfire Ale contains no spitfires)?

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Who Ate All The Pies?

Who Ate All The Pies?Hello folks, I have dragged myself away from the mince pies and assorted Christmas goodies to bring you this sorry tale of Nannyism that landed on my desk a wee while ago.

Nanny has stuck her interfering nose into the noble art of pie eating. The organisers of Wigan's prestigious pie eating contest have been seduced by Nanny's dark side, and changed the rules.

First prize has always gone to the contestant who could eat the most meat and potato pies in three minutes.

However, the title of World Pie Eating Champion will now be awarded to the person who can eat a single pie in the shortest time.

Pah!

I spit upon such nonsense.

This debasement of the noble art of pie eating is in response to Nanny's incessant whining about the number of calories that we all consume.

As if this were not enough, to add insult to injury, vegetarians will be allowed to eat non meat pies.

What is the world coming to?

Dave Smyth, who won the first contest in 1992 when he ate four pies in three minutes, thinks that this is bollocks.

Quote:

"This contest has always been about savouring as many pies as possible

over a three minute period,

not sprinting through a few mouthfuls of a single pie.

They've taken things too far this year.

Pies are supposed to be meat and potato

and anything else just isn't normal.

I intend to lobby the organising committee

and I'm not going to rest until I've got answers
."

Each pie weighs 12oz and contains about 400 calories.

Organiser Tony Callaghan said:

"I realise it may be controversial,

but this is the way forward for pie-eating at this level.

It will make for an exciting sporting spectacle,

whilst also doffing its cap to Government guidelines on obesity.

We have also bowed to relentless pressure from the Vegetarian Society

and agreed to introduce a vegetarian option,

although vegetarian pie-eaters in the competition

will be allowed to eat a slightly smaller version

because of its rather more glutinous content
."

FYI, Hitler was a vegetarian.

In honour of this noble art I am off to consume another mince pie!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

The Dangers of Mince Pies

The Dangers of Mince PiesIt seems that in some parts of the country people celebrate Christmas in rather unusual ways.

In the Paisley Centre shopping mall, Scotland, the resident Santa Claus has been forced by his employers to wear a hard hat for health and safety reasons.

Why?

Youths pelted him with mince pies from the upper level of the shopping centre, as he was handing out treats to customers.

Santa now has to wear a hard hat, decorated with antlers, to protect him.

Santa was not injured by the flying pies.

It's a funny old world!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Nanny Bans Mince Pies

Nanny Bans Mince PiesIn keeping with the season, you will undoubtedly not be surprised to hear that Nanny has banned mince pies.

Rather, Nanny's health and safety Gestapo have ordered that a risk assessment of mince pies be conducted before she allows a Christmas party to take place.

Nanny's jobsworth lackeys in Craven Council have decreed that the organisers of the Embsay Christmas party (a village in the Yorkshire Dales) must perform a risk assessment of their mince pies, or their party will be "nixed".

Nanny's council have also ordered that posters will have to be displayed at the party, warning villagers that the pies contain nuts and suet pastry.

I know that there is currently a world wide nut phobia, as "little Timmy" once got one stuck in his throat. However, since when was suet a health and safety issue?

As if that were not enough, it seems that there has to be a thermometer thrust (can I say thrust at this time of the day?) into the hot chocolate, in case it is too hot.

How did we manage before the invention of thermometers?

Come to think of it, what if the thermometer contains mercury?

Ooh, it doesn't bear thinking about!

Steve Dobson, who is organising the event, said that he learned of the regulations after writing to Craven District Council to ask if he could use a car park outside Embsay village hall to hold the free party for the community.

Now you see folks, that was his big mistake.

Never, ever, tell Nanny what you are about to do; because she will always come along and try to spoil the party or stop you.

Why?

Simple, the sort of people who involve themselves actively with Nanny (such as jobsworth council lackeys etc) could never make anything of their lives in the real world. The only way that they can justify to themselves their existence on this planet, and to give themselves some sense of self worth, is to impose their fears and petty rules on the rest of us.

As I have said before, there is no value or useful purpose to local councils; we would be far better off if they were restructured into oblivion.

Anyhoo, Mr Dobson had planned a fireworks display, mulled wine, Santa's grotto and free mince pies (which would have been made by Nanny's arch enemy the good ladies of the Embsay and Eastby Women's Institute).

You know the sort of thing, nothing unsafe about any of that.

Not until Nanny came along.

Mr Dobson said:

"The council gave me a huge list of things we had to do.

I wrote back, a little bit tongue in cheek,

asking if I really had to risk assess free mince pies

and a brass band, and they said yes.

Everything we do, from putting tinsel up

to providing refreshments has to be assessed.

We have to consider the dangers involved,

that someone might choke on their mince pie or have a nut allergy.

I also understand that Santa may need a Criminal Records Bureau check.

For a small Dales village we found it a bit of a joke really.

It's gone from us hoping to use a bit of council property for a community party,

to needing the same sort of planning

we would have to put in for the Great Yorkshire Show
."

Mr Dobson rather wisely is now considering moving the party to private land, elsewhere in the village. The trouble is, he has put his head above the parapet. Nanny will try her best to muscle in on that as well, and I bet charge him for the privilege.

Craven Council's director of community services, Jonathan Kerr, said:

"We support these community events

and we try to help local communities organise them

and make sure they are as safe as possible
."

The astute amongst you will observe that the above statement, in the context of the problem, is meaningless.

Nanny does not even bother to try to pretend to justify her actions any more.

Breathtaking arrogance!

Feel free to tell Craven Council what you think of them via these routes:

-General contact contactus@cravendc.gov.uk

-Jonathan Kerr's PA lrichardson@cravendc.gov.uk

-The thirty councillors of Craven are listed here, Craven Council, together with their email addresses:)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

The Dangers of Fruit

The Dangers of FruitNanny's health and safety Gestapo have struck again.

This time the Gestapo have raided the hotel health club that I use. To save the embarrassment, for the moment, of the good people of the hotel in which the club is housed I will not give away their name. They run a good hotel, aside from this aberration, and have always looked after myself, family and friends very well.

Anyhoo, let me tell you what has happened.

The club has been in existence for a good few years now, and aside from the five years that I lived in Sweden I have been a member since around 1994. During this time there has always been a bowl of fresh fruit, in the reception area of the club, for consumption/scoffing by the members and hotel guests.

Can you guess what happened?

Yes, that's right, the health and safety Gestapo have decreed that the fruit presents a health and safety risk. Therefore it has been banned.

As far as I am aware, there have yet to be any fatalities in the club arising from the consumption of a contaminated piece of fruit. Maybe they are worried about a spot of polonium getting mixed up with it...who knows?

I would suggest that, at a pinch, apples and pears could be contaminated by dirty hands. However, bananas and oranges are safe; as no matter how dirty the skin, or the hands that touch the skin, no one will be eating the skin on these.

I would also ask how is it that supermarkets, farmers' markets and the French have managed to sell fruit (that is poked and prodded by dirty little hands) for countless years without a mass outbreak of corpses littering the street?

Suffice to say, I am not particularly hopeful about the prospects of the traditional mince pies and wine being laid out on the reception desk this Christmas (as has been the case each Christmas since I have been a member).

All very silly, and very unnecessary. I have sent the hotel a copy of this, and will let you know if they rethink this daft policy.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Nanny Bans Pies

Nanny Bans PiesYesterday I made the rather "throwaway" comment, that Nanny would move on from regulating ice cream sales to regulating what we eat at home.

Well it seems that she has moved a step closer to doing that.

Nanny's best chums in the Scottish Executive, these guys really like to regulate people's lives, have warned bar owners in Scotland that they may be forced to stop serving chips and traditional pub meals.

The Executive are considering proposals to force landlords to have policies to promote "sensible eating", as a condition of their licences.

Next they will be banning booze in pubs!

Paul Waterson, chief executive of the Scottish Licensed Trade Association, said that the eating advice was aimed at banning meals such as pies, beans and chips from being served.

Quote:

"It's a dangerous road to go down, and we are very concerned about it.

Everybody has their own ideas about food - if you speak to vegetarians for instance.

There is a danger most customers will get caught in the middle between official guidance and people who want to eat what they want.

It should be up to the individual to decide what they consider healthy
."

As we all know, pies are an excellent means of soaking up the booze. A rocket salad simply won't do that!

Anyhoo, under the proposals bar owners would have to provide healthy-eating advice to their customers. This would be something to witness in a Glasgow pub on a Saturday night!

Janet Hood, a lawyer who is head of the British Institute of Innkeeping in Scotland and is helping to draft the guidance, said the "sensible eating" clause had been proposed by advisers appointed by the Executive.

She said:

"It would be quite inappropriate for licensees to offer eating advice.

They are not qualified to deal with this sort of thing.

I would normally have assumed that the protection of public health would relate to the sale of alcohol.

What if a hefty person comes in asking for something considered unhealthy?

Do we direct them to the salads and face accusations of being 'fat-ist'
?"

Quite right!

A spokeswoman for the Scottish Executive said:

"We will listen carefully to all views before taking decisions."

Does anyone seriously believe that?

Last month it was reported that Nanny's Executive was considering banning the sale of packets of ten cigarettes, in a bid to tackle smoking among young people.

My sympathies are with the good people of Scotland, who seem to have a more rampant infestation of Nannyism than we have in England.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Nanny's Perfect Christmas Party

Nanny's Perfect Christmas PartyWith the office Christmas party season now in full swing, Nanny has issued a number of guidelines as to how to hold the "perfect" Nanny Christmas party.








They are summarised below:
  • No alcohol should be served, Nanny disapproves of alcohol


  • No pork (eg cocktail sausages, scotch eggs, pork pies and sausage rolls) should be served, this may offend certain non Christians


  • No meat should be served, this may offend vegetarians


  • No mince pies or Christmas puddings should be served. These contain lard and suet, and as such would offend vegetarians


  • No mistletoe should be used to decorate the office; this would encourage kissing, which of course could be construed as sexual harassment


  • Kissing is banned, for the reason above and because of the risk of spreading avian flu


  • Christmas should not be mentioned, and there should be no decorations, as this may offend the non Christians


  • No form of dancing or physical contact should take place, as this may be construed as sexual harassment


  • No crackers should be pulled, as the explosive content is contrary to Nanny's anti terrorist laws


  • No food should be served, as people are far too fat anyway


  • No presents should be distributed, as recipients may feel pressured to have sex with the gift giver. Also, presents may be of varying degrees of quality, as such some people may feel discriminated against


  • No party games should be held, as some people will be classified as "losers" which of course is very bad for their self esteem


  • No photocopiers should be in the vicinity, as people may be tempted to copy their backsides (which of course is a health and safety issue, as well as being construed as sexual harassment)
Happy Christmas everyone!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Backlash

BacklashMy thanks to Pete, for pointing me to the BBC on this one.

It seems that they will be screening a show this Saturday, that may be of interest to us.

Backlash
Sat 29 Oct, 6:15 pm - 6:55 pm 40mins

Compensation Culture:

Clowns who can't throw custard pies, children who can't play conkers, swimmers banned from an early morning dip. The reason? The fear of being sued.

Arthur Smith ignites the backlash against our 'compensation culture' and has a go at a phenomenon which now costs an estimated £10 billion a year. He argues that a nation once famed for it's spirit of adventure has been rendered a nation of cowering wimps.

Maybe someone would like to point them to this site, to let them know that there are indeed many of us who are fed up with the Nanny State?

Contact BBC link

Thanks.

Ken

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Offensive Pies

Offensive PiesDear oh dear, we have become a nation of old Nannies haven't we?

The Advertising Standards Authority have said that the most complained about advert, in the last few months, was one for Mr Kipling's mince pies.

Seemingly people did not like the connection made in the advert, between a nativity play and a hospital birth.

The weaker a religion becomes, in terms of support and theological underpinning, the more paranoid its actions and statements.

Ooohhh...more controversy!

Monday, December 27, 2004

A Christmas Carol

Nanny's Christmas CarolNanny and her friends have not been asleep during the festive season. One of her friends, the Very Reverend John Lewis Dean of Llandaff Cathedral in Cardiff, has decided that the carol "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" is offensive to women.

As such, he has decreed that the words be changed to the rather catchy "God Rest Ye Merry People" instead.

He decreed that this version be sung on Christmas day.

Those of you who have time to spare, between the mince pies and cold turkey, may like to submit your own versions of Christmas carols that would be suitable for singing to Nanny.

There is no prize, other than the kudos of seeing your name and carol appear on this site.