"Happy" Halloween

Tis upon us again and, in keeping with the season, I have disabled my doorbell and door knocker!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Cowboys etc etc

Another day nearer the doorbell/doorknocking annoyance that is Halloween.

However, my sympathies to the students of the University of Colorado Boulder (USA) who have been banned by USA Nanny from wearing "offensive" Halloween costumes.

As with all of Nanny's edicts the definition of what constitutes "offensive" is open to some interpretation. On the banned list are; cowboys, indians, sombreros, "white trash" costumes, costumes associated with crime or sex work, hillbillies, ghetto costumes and anything of an over sexualised nature.

It seems to me that the person who came up with the list doesn't much care for the Village People, then added extras for good measure.

Short of turning up stark bollock naked, there doesn't appear to be much left that a student party goer is allowed to wear should he/she wish to party at Colorado Boulder!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Scary Bus

As Halloween draws ever closer I see that the good people of Tulleys Farm (who are planning a Shocktober Fest) have fallen foul of a handful of people who have been "scared" by the adverts for the Fest that Tulleys Farm have used on around 100 buses that operate from South London into Sussex.

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) are checking to see if if any rules have been broken. The Huffington Post quotes Stuart Beare, organiser of the event:

"The image of the zombie girl on our advertising is no worse than many images you'll see at this time of year in newspapers and magazines, on the Halloween costumes in the supermarket aisles and even on kids' TV programmes."

The furore will of course provide some very nice free PR for the event!

ASA did not investigate complaints last year over a similar advert, it has yet to rule on this year's advert.


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

A Touch of Wind

Doubtless last night's wee wind will be blamed on global warming!

It is worthy of note that aside from the fact train services have all but stopped in certain areas of the country, the train information websites such as National Rail and Southern have also collapsed (has a tree hit their server?).

Sigh!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Condoms

According to a recent report in the Independent the police in Edinburgh are trying to get condoms, and items of a "sexual nature", banned from Edinburgh’s licensed saunas.

Re the condoms, I am a tad confused here, people (male and female carry these in their purses/wallets, and indeed are advised to use them by Nanny in order to lessen the chances of spreading diseases). Does this mean that people entering such premises in Edinburgh will be searched for condoms before being allowed in?

Furthermore many pubs have condom vending machines, does this mean that those pubs in Edinburgh with these machines will be in danger of losing their licences?

This policy seems a tad unworkable to my simple mind!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Butter Is Good For You - Hoozah!

Kudos to Dr Aseem Malhotra (a cardiology registrar at Croydon University Hospital), who has busted the "saturated fat myth" in an article he has written for the British Medical Journal.

In his view the risk from saturated fat in foods such as butter, cakes and fatty meat is being overstated and demonised. There is too much focus on the fat with other factors such as sugar often overlooked.

He is quoted by the BBC as saying that it is time to "bust the myth of the role of saturated fat in heart disease". He added that the "mantra that saturated fat must be removed to reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease has dominated dietary advice and guidelines for almost four decades."

He noted that saturated fat has been "demonised", and any link with heart disease is not fully supported by scientific evidence.

However, the British Heart Foundation says that studies on the link between diet and disease frequently produce conflicting results.

Ken (me) says that as with anything, so long as you eat a balanced diet (allowing for the occasional blowouts etc) and take sensible exercise (eg walking) you are likely to be happy and healthy.

As I have noted before, the body is like a car engine it needs oil (fat) to lubricate the blood vessels in order for the blood to flow freely.

For you see ladies and gentlemen, the enemy is not saturated fats such as butter, milk and cheese but man made trans fats (marketed as being "healthier" than saturated fats) that gloop up in your guts and arteries.

In celebration I will eat half a pound of butter for luncheon!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Asylum Maze

As the marketing extravaganza of Halloween (not seen on these shores when I was a wee lad) draws ever nearer, I see some considerable controversy has blown up over Thorpe Park's Asylum Maze (an attraction that has been running for eight years now).

Campaigners claim having actors chasing people around an asylum stigmatises mental ill health.

I have never been to Thorpe Park, nor am ever likely to; therefore I cannot comment one way or another on whether this particular part of the park stigmatises those with mental health issues or not.

However, I would note this there have been many horror/thriller films using the plot of mental illness as their key theme (eg Silence of The Lambs). Should they be banned too?

Thoughtful and considered views and comments welcome.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Sudoku

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to a sad story about Angela Robinson (widow of Allan Robinson), and her battle with Farndon Parish Council over a two inch square Sudoku puzzle and a one line mathematical equation on her late husband's gravestone (he was a mathematician).

The council, according to the Daily Star, have decreed that the inscriptions are "contrary to the guidelines for headstone inscriptions" and lower the standards of the churchyard. The council want the puzzle and equation removed from the gravestone.

Farndon Parish Council also managed to misspell Mr Robinson's name as "Allen".

Why are councils sometimes so insensitive?


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Solution To Global Warming

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats of The Week - An Unnamed Airline

"Kudos" to the airline that forced 37stone Les Price to buy two tickets for his flight from the UK to Ireland.

There was however a wee problem, according to the Mail the two seats were not next to each other!

So how did that add to the comfort of Mr Price, or his fellow passengers then?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans High Five Again

In July I wrote the following:

"My sympathies to Roger Green, a lollipop man who works outside Sandy Lane Primary School in Bracknell, who has been banned by Nanny's chums from Bracknell Forest Borough Council from "high-fiving" the kids as they cross the road.

For why?

Health and safety!"

I am sad to see that another lollipop man, Bob Slade, from Beacon Park, who helped children from Manadon Vale Primary School has also been threatened with suspension for the very same "offence".

Mr Slader has decided though not to be suspended, but has instead resigned. He is quoted by the Plymouth Herald:

“I really enjoyed the job.

I have been doing it for more than four years without a single accident.

When I got the job they told me to make contact with the kids and be friendly.

But then they changed their minds and I stopped high-fiving them earlier in the year because they told me to stop.

They also said I was going out into the road without looking properly.

They said they would suspend me for four weeks but I said I would rather leave - I was going to retire soon anyway.

I appreciate the support of the parents but I won’t be going back again, this is the end of it now.”

Whilst the council seek a replacement, there is currently no lollipop presence on the school crossing!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Dangers of Spiders

Now I truly have seen it all!

As per the BBC:
"

Spider in bed prompts 999 call to London firefighters

"
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Excess Hydration Is Dangerous

It appears that excess hydration is dangerous!

Humans evolved doing intense exercise in extreme heat and dryness. We are able to tolerate losses in water relatively well whereas even slight over hydration can be far more dangerous. In simple terms, being too watery is as bad for you as being too concentrated.

As per the BBC:

"British Journal of Sports Medicine, September 2013, Current hydration guidelines are erroneous: dehydration does not impair exercise performance in the heat, Wall BA"

My advice, don't add water to your malt whisky!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

America's Shutdown

Out of interest I would be grateful to hear from loyal readers in the USA as to whether they have noticed any negative effects on their lives brought about by the government shutdown over there?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Lorraine's Breakfast Boobs

It is indeed a strange and confused society that we live in, on the one hand certain tabloids (that can be freely purchased by all ages) happily display bare boobs and barely concealed cleavages with gay abandon.

However, when the breakfast show Lorraine had the "temerity" to do a feature on breast cancer; wherein a topless lady was taken through the self examination technique by Dr Hillary Jones, all hell broke loose.

The Telegraph reported that a spokeswoman from pressure group Mediawatch UK, which campaigns for family values in the media (cancer affects many families does it not?), said such broadcasts could be "problematic".

"Whilst there was nothing sexual or lascivious about the examination, this kind of thing can be problematic. 

There probably should have been a warning beforehand, as there may have been young children watching and it might have upset them a bit."

Twitter, unsurprisingly, also went OTT one user writing:

"I know they are talking about breast cancer awareness on Lorraine, but are they actually allowed to have someone half naked on TV at 9am??"

Another wrote:

"Boobs on telly at this time. Mental stuff on Lorraine."

Get over yourselves folks, society will not collapse nor will childrens' morals be corrupted because of this.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Dangers of Juice

As loyal readers know, Nanny has over the years pushed her "five a day" concept for the ingestion by her minions of five "portions" of fruit and veg in order for us to maintain our "health and vigour".

All very nice maybe, if it were based on any form of credible scientific research. Unfortunately, as with much of Nanny's advice/prohibitions etc the "science" behind it is in fact bollox; eg in January 2011 I noted as much.

Disregarding that dodgy science, there is in fact some decent scientific research carried out by Robert Lustig (an obesity expert) and writer of "Fat Chance: The Bitter Truth about Sugar".

Bottom line, and no surprises here, is that sugar is fattening.

Fair enough!

Additionally our obsession (fuelled by Nanny's five a day mantra) with fruit juice and smoothies is loading our bodies with excess sugar. Lustig is quoted by the Telegraph:

"Calorie for calorie, 100 per cent orange juice is worse for you than sugary sodas."

In Lustig's childhood obesity clinic in San Francisco an eight-year-old already has high blood pressure, thanks to a three-glasses-a-day juice habit. A six-year-old Latino boy comes to the clinic weighing 100lb, 'wider than he is tall'. His mother, a poor farm worker, has been letting him drink a gallon of juice a day because a government welfare programme gives them the juice for free.

The solution?

- Ignore Nanny's advice wrt five a day
- Stop drinking smoothies/juices
- Eat a real piece of fruit that hasn't had the fibre removed, then eat a piece of cheese to reduce the acid damage to your teeth
- Eat more salt to counterbalance the sugar;)

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Taking The Pisco

I was gemused to read that Nanny's pet hate (booze) has been temporarily surpassed by another pet hate of hers (that rears its head from time to time), namely that of eggs.

Normally Nanny berates us for the cholesterol danger of eggs. However, this time she frets about the risk of salmonella in raw eggs (ah the halcyon days of Eggwina Currie appear to have returned!).

What have raw eggs got to do with booze?

Well it seems, as with all things alcoholic, there is a trend at the moment for certain types of cocktails. These ones are mixed with raw eggs, eg a Pisco Sour which includes the white of an egg to give it a foamy head.

Kevin Coles of the British Egg Information Service says there is never a cast-iron guarantee of safety when it comes to raw eggs in food or drink, but that 98.5% of eggs stamped with the industry's red lion mark are safe.

He is quoted by the BBC:

"Any egg can contain salmonella but it is more or less a thing of the past in the UK. Eggs with the red lion mark have all come from chickens vaccinated against salmonella."

The Food Standards Agency doesn't advise against people consuming raw eggs if they so wish.

"However for vulnerable groups (including the elderly) we suggest they should avoid consumption of raw/lightly cooked eggs because of the risk of salmonella."

Fair enough!

So who has kicked up the fuss, all of a sudden abut raw eggs in drinks that have been consumed for decades?

None other than the BBC, writing a space filling non story that will doubtless cause unnecessary fuss and distress to the cocktail drinking classes!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Hanging On The Telephone

I am pleased to see that our "respected" councils take care not to be too wasteful with our council tax.

Ermmm..actually they don't!

According to a recent Freedom of Information request made to 120 town halls, councils are spending hundreds of thousands of our hard earned council taxes on royalty payments for the right to play pop tunes as "hold music" for those waiting to get through to the council on the phone.

The Mail recently reported that 12 councils, that use pop music, spent £300,000 over the past three years. Doncaster Council admitted spending about £1,000 a year on hold music.

Mayor Ros Jones said:

"We have only just started using more varied and up-to-date music for customers to listen to when on hold or waiting for a response on the phone. 'This has been done to respond to feedback from customers. We regularly use feedback to improve the experience of our customers while ensuring a value-for-money approach."

Why not simply tell the "customers" where they are in the queue?

That's surely royalty free is it not?


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries