Nanny Pulls Her "Joggers Have Covid" Advert - Because It Was Bollocks!

Nanny has chosen to discontinue a radio ad that says joggers are "highly likely to have Covid-19". After being contacted by the Advertising Standards Authority, the Cabinet Office has said the disputed claim will not be repeated.

The ASA received complaints about the 30-second radio ad that begins: 

"Someone jogging, walking their dog or working out in the park is highly likely to have Covid-19. This is a national health emergency."

Campaign reports that ASA rules require that advertisers hold robust documentary evidence to prove claims that are capable of substantiation. 

Following a conversation, the Cabinet office worked to "swiftly address and resolve the matter without the need for formal investigation", the ASA said in a statement, "we consider the matter closed".

Nanny should stop crying wolf, the more she does the less people will listen to her!

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Nanny May's Legacy

As per the Guardian:

"Two television ads, one featuring new dads bungling comically while looking after their babies and the other a woman sitting next to a pram, have become the first to be banned under new rules designed to reduce gender stereotyping.

The Advertising Standards Authority banned the ads, for Volkswagen and Philadelphia cream cheese, following complaints from the public that they perpetuated harmful stereotypes.

The new rules, introduced at the beginning of the year, ban the depiction of men and women engaged in gender-stereotypical activities to help stop “limiting how people see themselves and how others see them and the life decisions they take”.

The ad for Volkswagen’s electric eGolf vehicle showed a series of scenes including a man and a woman in a tent on a sheer cliff face, two male astronauts, a male para-athlete and a woman sitting on a bench next to a pram. Text stated: “When we learn to adapt we can achieve anything.”

Complainants said the ad showed men engaged in adventurous activities, that unlike her male counterpart, the female rock climber was “passive” because she was asleep, and that the woman with the pram was depicted in a stereotypical care-giving role.

Volkswagen said its ad was not sexist and that caring for a newborn was a life-changing experience about adaptation, regardless of the gender of the parent depicted."

May's legacy will be with us for years!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Loves Avocados

My sympathies to the good people of Costa Coffee, who have unwittingly annoyed the avocado eating classes.

Nanny's chums from ASA have banned an advert for Costa Coffee, which urged customers to buy a bacon roll rather than avocados.

The radio ad featured a voiceover which said there was "a great deal on ripen-at-home avocados" but they will only "be ready to eat for about 10 minutes then they'll go off".

The voice told people to choose the "better deal" of a roll or egg muffin.

A grand total of TWO listeners (who evidently do not have a life) complained that the ad, which aired in June, discouraged people from opting for fresh fruit.

The advertising watchdog agreed with the complaints and upheld them.

Costa said their ad played on the "frustration and unpredictability of the avocado".

The chain claimed it was not suggesting that listeners must choose between the two breakfast options, but that it was instead telling people about their promotional offer.

ASA said:

"We considered that, although the ad was light-hearted, it nevertheless suggested avocados were a poor breakfast choice, and that a bacon roll or egg muffin would be a better alternative, and in doing so discouraged the selection of avocados."

I am surprised that Nanny is so fond of avocados, given their high saturated fat and calorie content!

As I noted in January, an avocado contains more calories than a can of coke!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

KFC and Kellogg's Find Themselves on Nanny's Naughty Step

My sympathies to the good people of KFC and Kellogg's who have been placed on Nanny's naughty step.

For why?

Nanny's chums from ASA have told them to remove adverts which promoted junk food to children.

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) says they broke strict rules on advertising high fat, sugar or salt products to children.

The ASA found Kellogg's promoted a Coco Pops product, during a Mr Bean cartoon, likely to have been seen by children.

It also ruled KFC advertised a Mars product on a phone box by a school.

FFS!

KFC said the appearance of the ad close to a school was a simple human error and it had taken the advert down promptly, once it had been alerted.

Kellogg's said it was disappointed with the decision as it had only meant to promote the healthier Coco Pops Granola product, rather than the original version. For the record the new "healthy" foul tasting option (which has less sugar) only saves 1 calories per serving compared with the tastier original version!

Why are we allowing Nanny to stick her nose into our affairs?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Photobox - The Clue Is In The Name

Adverts for the photo printing site Photobox have been cleared by the Advertising Standards Authority after it received 212 complaints.

Viewers had expressed concern that the three ads, featuring scenes of a family barbeque with parents photographing a boy sitting on a Great Dane, could be harmful to the pet and the child.

One complaint came from the RSPCA.

At no stage did anyone stop to consider that Photobox, being a professional online photo printing company would have doubtless played with the images.

Photobox said the boy and dog were filmed separately and "at no point did the boy actually sit on the dog".

It added that a qualified vet had been present during filming, and provided a certificate to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) as proof.

Case dismissed!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Baked Bean Cans

Oh dear, it seems that Nanny's health and safety nutters are on the march again.

This time they have directed their risk averse obsession towards the Heinz advert on TV, that shows people using old baked bean cans as drums. The advertisement featured young people and adults using empty or full tins to make the rhythm of a song, with the catchline "#Learn the CanSong".

It seems that there is a perceived risk that if you bang your empty tin in an incorrect manner you might cut yourself. As such a grand total of three viewers (don't these people have anything better to do with their lives?) complained to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) that the TV advert could encourage unsafe practice, and six believed it featured behaviour that could be dangerous for children to copy.

Needless to say ASA buckled under the weight of this popular uprising and has now banned the advert!

ASA is quoted by the BBC:

"For the reasons given and because the ad did not include information on how to ensure consumer safety when recreating the song, we concluded that the ad condoned and encouraged behaviour that prejudiced health or safety.

We told Heinz to ensure that future ads did not condone or encourage behaviour that prejudiced health and safety, including behaviour that could be dangerous for children to emulate, for example by featuring open tin cans being used to play music."

Feel safer now everyone?


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Rihanna

Commiserations to Robyn Rihanna Fenty, aka Rihanna, who has been banned by ASA for being too provocative.

ASA are afraid that kids may see a "racy" billboard advert featuring Rihanna and a bottle of perfume, and have banned it.

Nice to see they have nothing better to do!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Holidays

I have been gemused to see our "respected" politicians bleating and whining over the last few months over the "disgrace" of parents taking their kids out of school during term time for a holiday (somewhat ironic given how many weeks off per annum MPs award themselves).

The MPs, following "logic" that only people who are totally disconnected from reality can employ, bemoan the fact that holidays are more expensive during the school holiday season than when kids are safely incarcerated in one of Nanny's schools.

Here is a reality check for Nanny, that's known as market forces!

During term time the demand for holidays is less than during school breaks, hence the holiday companies etc charge less during this period in order to drum up demand.

Sigh, if only Nanny had the slightest inclination of how the real world operates!

Anyhoo, as befitting one of Nanny's many bees in her bonnet, she won't let the matter rest as Center Parcs have found to their cost.

Step forward Nanny's chums from the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), who have banned a Center Parcs TV advert.

For why?

ASA deem it to be irresponsible.

For why?

It allegedly "encourages" parents to take their kids out of school during term time.

Promoting midweek breaks, the advert showed parents and school-aged children, with small print stating that the offer "excludes school holidays".

How many people complained about the advert?

TWO! (doubtless a couple of Nanny's stooges)

Based on that veritable flood of complaints, ASA has banned the advert.

As per the BBC, ASA said:

"We considered the emphasis of the ad was on a family break and that the overall impression was that families could take advantage of the advertised offer, which was not available at weekends or during school holidays.

We also noted the final on-screen text stated 'Your family. Your time', which we considered was likely to be an encouragement for parents to take up the offer.

Because the ad had focused on a family break to promote an offer which was available only during term time, we concluded it irresponsibly encouraged parents to take their children out of school."

The ruling is utter bollocks, and shows ASA to be totally out of touch with reality:

 

1 Parents have every right, subject to commonsense and discussion with the school etc, to take their kids out of school for a few days.

 

2 Not everyone going to Center Parcs brings kids with them.

 

3 Market forces dictate that holidays are more expensive during periods of peak demand.

 

4 Center Parcs is perfectly at liberty to advertise and price their products in anyway they see fit, subject to the usual rules of honesty and decency etc.

 

ASA is farking demented!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans "Nude" 3D Scanner Advert

 

I see that the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has got its knickers in a twist over an advert for a "nude" 3D scanner app. This product appears to be the modern version of X-Ray specs.

The advert was approved by a compliance and clearing agency. However, it was shown during Hollyoaks at a time when apparently children could see it.

Seemingly a veritable tsunami of complaints were received by ASA. Well, actually, ASA received 26 complaints; prompting ASA to deem the advert "offensive".

All very well, but as far as I can see from the product's website, there is no nudity. The advert itself showed the crotch and breast blurred out; ie nothing more salacious than the average music video.

Good publicity for the product though well done ASA!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Helmetless Advert

I am gemused to see that our old chums from Nanny's Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) have banned a television advert promoting safe cycling.

Eh?

For why?

The advert showed that most heinous of things, a rider without a helmet!

The advert, part of a campaign by Cycling Scotland, is trying to encourage drivers to give cyclists the same space and care as they would give a horse.

Yet ASA say that the advert showing a helmetless cyclist was "socially irresponsible".

Please note the phrase "socially irresponsible", that is not the same as "illegal"; for your see ladies and gentlemen Cycling Scotland have stated that wearing a helmet was not a legal requirement. In fact wearing a helmet is a personal choice for the individual (a fact reflected in the advert with footage of various cyclists both with, and without, helmets).

Evidently ASA, as is typical of Nanny, does not like the concept of personal choice and prefers blanket rules and regulations to force us all to do the same thing.

Incidentally, as per the BBC, Cycling Scotland also referred to its helmet policy, which discussed the possible undesired outcomes of wearing helmets, including limiting uptake of cycling and "influencing a driver's behaviour to be less careful when interacting on the road".

There's irony for you!

By the way, ASA took action after receiving complaints from a veritable avalanche of people.

How many?

Five!

Personally speaking I think the advert is rather good.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Scary Bus

As Halloween draws ever closer I see that the good people of Tulleys Farm (who are planning a Shocktober Fest) have fallen foul of a handful of people who have been "scared" by the adverts for the Fest that Tulleys Farm have used on around 100 buses that operate from South London into Sussex.

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) are checking to see if if any rules have been broken. The Huffington Post quotes Stuart Beare, organiser of the event:

"The image of the zombie girl on our advertising is no worse than many images you'll see at this time of year in newspapers and magazines, on the Halloween costumes in the supermarket aisles and even on kids' TV programmes."

The furore will of course provide some very nice free PR for the event!

ASA did not investigate complaints last year over a similar advert, it has yet to rule on this year's advert.


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Hates Marmite

How absolutely absurd, it seems that 250 people ahev complained to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) about the above advert for Marmite.

For why?

They are of the view it trivialises the work of animal rescue charities!

The RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) said it understood that "animal lovers are concerned on our behalf", quote:

"We plan to talk to the makers of Marmite about how we can work together on animal welfare."

Am I so thick skinned and insensitive, but is this not an absurd overreaction?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans "Sofa King Low"

I cannot but help guffaw (can I say "guffaw" before the watershed?) in a very loud fashion at the ludicrous prissiness of Nanny's chums in the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), who have got their knickers in a right old twist over a Northamptonshire sofa firm's slogan.

What is the slogan?

Sofa King Low!

Splendid!

This slogan, quite rightly, has been used by the company on all its adverts, vehicles etc.

Unfortunately, dear old Nanny ASA got rather uppity about it and has branded "offensive" and has banned the combination of words.

This of course, aside from being absolutely ridiculous, gives the sofa company an enormous amount of free PR.

Oh, by the way, ASA's decision to ban it is in fact even more ridiculous than for the reasons outlined above.

For why?

Well you see, the company has been using "Sofa King Low" for the last ten years.

In fact the police wasted time and resources investigating complaints about it in 2004 (yes seriously, the police actually wasted time on this!), yet came to the conclusion there was "no crime".

Why now did ASA waste its time, and make a fool out of itself over this issue?

Three readers (yes, three sad readers) of the Northampton Herald and Post complained that it was offensive.

What sad empty lives some people lead!

Where were these saddos when French Connection came up with FCUK, or Brain's Faggots, or my late grandfather's favourite baccy "Digger's Shag"??

Anyone care to come up with a new slogan for the company, that will annoy even more people?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Burns

I am gemused to see that Nanny has got her knickers in a right old state over the tongue in cheek marketing campaign by a travel comparison website, dealchecker.co.uk.

Nanny's chums in the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) were less than pleased with dealchecker's July email campaign "earn with your burn".

Their advert included pictures of sunburned or sunbathing people, and offered a prize of a free holiday for two for sunburn pictures. Pictures were invited to be sent to "likealobster@dealchecker.co.uk".

ASA got terribly huffy, and said that the competition "could be seen to trivialise sunburn".

Oddly enough, there were prizes of suncream for the winner and runners-up. Additionally, during the six-week competition period it featured numerous blog posts on sun safety, regularly tweeted sun care tips etc.


Despite this some members of the public, clearly who were annoyed about the wet summer, complained to ASA about it.

ASA said:

"We... considered that the promotion could encourage recipients to get sunburnt in order to be able to enter the competition, and concluded that the competition was irresponsible."

The competition is not allowed to appear again in its current form, and the website has removed all the relevant content.

However, I will wager that the ensuing free media publicity over ASA's decision has done dealchecker nothing but good!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Beyonce

Poor Beyonce, all she wanted to do was advertise "her" perfume "Heat". However, Nanny's chums from our old "friends" the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) are not best pleased with her TV advert (watch it above).

As per usual with these things, a handful of people watched the advert and chose to be offended by it. I suspect that the people who tend to complain to ASA are in fact a hard core of "professional complainers", who deliberately seek out material that is "offensive" to them.

Anyhoo, the basis of their complaint this time was that the advert was shown during the day and had been seen by some children. Nanny's shrill screech:

"Won't someone think of the children?"

was exalted throughout the land.

ASA deemed that the advert is "sexually provocative", and "unsuitable to be seen by young children".

ASA have forbidden it from being shown before 7.30pm.

ASA said, and I have to say I am suppressing a snigger or two at the pomposity and nonsense within this:

"Beyonce's body movements and the camera's prolonged focus on shots of her dress slipping away to partially expose her breasts created a sexually provocative ad that was unsuitable to be seen by young children.

We considered that the ad should not have been shown before 7.30pm due to the sexually provocative nature of the imagery."

Here's why the ruling is bollocks:

1 ASA are somewhat out of touch with the "modern wired" age. Kids can access, and in fact do, far more lurid scenes on the internet.

2 Could it be that ASA, by commenting on the advert in this way, has now encouraged a whole host of kids to try to watch this "naughty" advert?

3 Could it be that those who created the advert had hoped that the handful of regular "professional complainers" would in fact complain, thus giving the advert and product greater publicity and making the video go "viral" on the web (eg I have posted the video here on my site)? ASA, I think, have fallen into a trap here.

I can't see the problem with the advert myself.

All I see is a lady wearing the sort of dress, usually worn by women (though I do live in Brighton:)), that is commonplace at parties and clubs any day of the week. (It does seem though that the airconditioning on the film set has broken down, as she looks a little hot).

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats of The Week - ASA

A wet wind ridden "spring" day, tis time for another "Prats of The Week" Award.

This time it goes to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) for their daft decision to ban the TV advert for Premier Inns, in which Lenny Henry parodies "The Shining", from kids' TV.

For why did they ban it?

A staggering 8 people, with nothing better to do in their lives, complained about the advert on the grounds that some kids might be frightened.

Gosh, wouldn't that also mean the banning of many other TV programmes eg Dr Who?

ASA said:

"We also considered that, because young children would not understand the ad's reference to The Shining, they would be unlikely to appreciate the comic context in which the menacing Lenny appeared, and could find him threatening."

Premier Inn are actually rather baffled as to why an advert for their hotel rooms was even being shown on kids' TV.

ASA, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Hates M&S Advert

Poor old Marks and Spencer have fallen foul of the "too much time on their hands" brigade, wrt the M&S Christmas advert featuring Philip Glenister and French underwear model Noemie Lenoir.

A "staggering" 8 people have complained to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) over the advert, because they feel that the sight of Ms Lenoir cavorting in her underwear is sexist.

Glenister adds fuel to the fire of these "we have no lives" 8, by saying:

"That girl prancing around in her underwear."

Doubtless at least one person can always be found who is offended/annoyed by anything shown on TV. Commonsense should dictate that TV cannot be "sanitised" to the extent that absolutely no one will be "offended".

As Basil Fawlty once said:

"Too many people with too much time on their hands, with nothing better to do than complain.

That's exactly how Nazi Germany started!"

Well folks, in the interests of redressing the balance, for a modest fee of around £100K I am more than happy to prance around in my Jockey Y Fronts in the next M&S advert.

What say you?

Vote for me to appear in the M&S advert in my Y Fronts via this email address retailcustomer.services@marksandspencer.com

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Take Courage

Nanny hates booze, which is kind of ironic as most of her minions in parliament are professional boozers/substance abusers who make the most of the subsidised late bars in Westminster.

Anyhoo, Nanny got a bee in her bonnet recently about an advert for Courage beer which allegedly implied that drinking Courage would give the drinker "courage".

The advert showed a nervous guy holding a can of Courage, as he views the backside of a stout lady in a tight new dress, the tagline being:

"Take Courage My Friend."

Nanny's chums in the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) received "several" complaints (doubtless from people with no lives whatsoever) about the advert, and promptly banned it. Seemingly the advert would "imply the beer would give the man the confidence" to criticise his wife's dress.

Earth to ASA...that's exactly the point of booze!

How many marriages, loss of virginities and pregnancies have been caused by an affluence of alcohol?

To deny the reality is akin to an ostrich putting its head in the sand!

That being said, Courage is the brand name of this product; is Nanny going to ban that then as well?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Casinos

Three cheers for Nanny's ever vigilant and proactive Advertising Standards Authority (ASA).

Always keen to ensure that adverts are legal, decent, honest, non offensive etc they have decided to ban some of Ladbroke's adverts for their online casino.

One of the adverts features a skydiver trying to use a crisp packet as a parachute (implying that his thirst for risk could have been quenched at Ladbrokes).

Anyhoo, this advert was far too much for the people at ASA.

For why?

One person complained and the advert was banned because it:

"portrayed gambling in a context of toughness and linked it to excessive risk-taking and reckless behaviour".

Errmm...isn't that what gambling basically is, the thrill and risk of possibly winning/losing?

Where were the ASA during the endowment mortgage binge of the 1980's, or the credit binge of the last decade (where financial institutions duped some people into losing their houses and tied them into debt for decades)?

FYI, if you mention those episodes to the ASA they tell you that the responsibility rests with Nanny's other toothless and passive organisation the Financial Services Authority (FSA).

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Women

There is one person worse than Nanny; someone more annoying, more rabid and more keen to stamp down on our freedom.

Whom do I speak of? (or is it "who"?)

I bet you can guess, can't you?

Yes, that's right, Euro Nanny; in the shape and form of our unknown, lazy, corrupt and invisible MEPs, who defraud us of millions via exaggerated/fraudulent expense claims, excess salaries etc.

MEPs want TV regulators in the EU to set guidelines which would see the end of anything deemed to portray women as sex objects, or reinforce gender stereotypes.

In other words attractive women will be banned from advertising anything, eg perfume, bras, steel plate.

Let us be clear, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and very much down to social/cultural norms; so who exactly will determine if a woman is attractive of not?

The new rules have been outlined in a report by the EU's women's rights committee.

Swedish MEP Eva-Britt Svensson(a land I have lived in for 5 years) wants Britain and other members to use existing equality, sexism and discrimination laws to control advertising.

Ms Svensson wants regulatory bodies set up to monitor adverts, and introduce a "zero-tolerance" policy against "sexist insults or degrading images".

Ms Svensson said:

"Gender stereotyping in advertising straitjackets women, men, girls and boys by restricting individuals to predetermined and artificial roles that are often degrading, humiliating and dumbed down for both sexes.

Gender stereotyping in advertising is one of several factors that have a big influence in efforts to make society more gender equal.

When women and men are portrayed in a stereotypical way the consequence may be that it becomes difficult in other contexts to see women and men's resources and abilities."

Who will set the standards then?

Our own Advertising Standards Authority recognises that the proposals are bollocks:

"Although the ASA supports the overall objectives of the report... the approach suggested is inflexible and impractical."

All well and good.

However, as we know, British Nanny keeps enshrining more and more EU legislation in our own legal framework. These rules will come in via the back door, as our MP's sleep.

Whilst I feel that the EU as a trading pact represents an opportunity for the UK, I believe that all other aspects of this experiment in European unification represents a serious threat to the liberty and freedom of the people of the EU (including us on the tiny offshore unsinkable aircraft carrier, known as Britain).

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries