Nanny Bans Golden Brown

Oh dear, those of you who like golden brown crisps and biscuits are in for a disappointment.

Nanny will ban golden brown biscuits and crisps, as from next April.

For why?

Nanny's new rules force manufacturers to reduce acrylamide, a chemical found in burnt food which may lead to a higher risk of cancer.

The Telegraph quotes industry figures who said the products would now be baked at lower temperatures for longer, meaning they would lose their colour but not their crunch.

How absurd!

Fear not, it's not all bad, the salt and sugar (that Nanny also hates) in these products will remain!

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Nanny's Victorian Values - Scarlet Fever Makes a Comeback!

Despite an all pervasive Nanny state, that lectures from dawn til dusk about our health, lifestyles, eating, drinking etc it seems we are not actually getting any healthier.

In fact, in certain areas, we appear to be reverting to Victorian levels of health.

It transpires that the UK is in the grip of a Scarlet Fever outbreak. As per ZeroHedge scarlet fever cases are now at 50-year-high sparking concerns for researchers, as they are baffled as to how “Victorian-era” diseases are making a comeback.

Scarlet fever hit its highest level in England for 50 years, with more than 17,000 cases reported in 2016 according to research in the Lancet. The infection is most common in children under the age of 10 and although highly contagious (being spread easily with a cough) is easily cured with a round of antibiotics. But that, in and of itself, raises concerns of the disease becoming resistant to antibiotics, creating a global pandemic.

Doctors are urging the public to be aware of symptoms, which include a rosy rash, and seek help from their doctor. Data for 2017 suggests the rate of infection may be falling, but experts remain cautious, saying it is “too early to tell.” Normally, first world nations have a better chance of handling an outbreak such as this, but England is on the verge of losing control over this scarlet fever outbreak.

“We are concerned – it’s quite a dramatic rise,” said Dr. Theresa Lamagni, head of streptococcal surveillance at Public Health England, who led the study.

Well then, instead of advancing we appear to be heading back to the good old days!

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How Many Men Does It Take To Chop Down A Tree In Sheffield?

How many men does it take to cut down a tree in Sheffield? (Lots). I wonder if that money could have been spent fixing the pavement around the tree? Seems the easier option 🤔 #SaveSheffTrees pic.twitter.com/bckW7OR0wq

— Lydia Monks (@LydiaMonks) November 27, 2017

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Drunk Handcuffed Man Crashes Police Car - Oops!

As per the BBC, a drink-driver who tried to escape in a police car and crashed into cars while wearing handcuffs has been jailed.

Dominic O'Neill, 38, was detained and placed in the back, but "managed to to get into the driver's seat and drive off" in Leicester, on 21 October.

O'Neill was sentenced to 16 months in prison for several motoring offences at Leicester Crown Court.

Leicestershire Police said its officers had "received advice" surrounding the circumstances of the crash.

Quite!

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Nanny Hates Sleeping Beauty

As expected, the media hysteria over the alleged behaviour of certain celebrities and politicians has had a knock on effect in the real world.

Sarah Hall, from Northumberland Park, has decided that the fairytale Sleeping Beauty promotes unacceptable behaviour which shouldn’t be read to young children.
She is of the view that it teaches children that it is ok to kiss a woman while she’s asleep, which she says is not acceptable.

ChronicleLive reports that she left a comment in her son’s record book, and contacted his school to ask if books featuring it could be taken out of circulation for younger classes.

She said:

 “In today’s society, it isn’t appropriate - my son is only six, he absorbs everything he sees, and it isn’t as if I can turn it into a constructive conversation.

“I don’t think taking Sleeping Beauty books out of circulation completely would be right. I actually think it would be a great resource for older children, you could have a conversation around it, you could talk about consent, and how the Princess might feel.

But I’m really concerned about it for younger children, would really welcome a conversation about whether this is suitable material."

She said:

“I think it’s a specific issue in the Sleeping Beauty story about sexual behaviour and consent.

It’s about saying is this still relevant, is it appropriate?”

All very well except, as with everything in life, deeds and words must be taken and judged in context. The kiss is in no manner or means portrayed in the fairytale as being sexual; ie it is clearly not an assault.

Kate Edwards, chief executive of Seven Stories, the national centre for children's books , argued stories like Sleeping Beauty have an important cultural and traditional role to play, and shouldn't be lost - but they can be 'played with'.

"The fairytale tradition is rooted in moral instruction, telling children what's right and wrong.

Of course, the cultural context and moral have changed hugely, so it's important that children are given cultural context - but you can do that without losing these stories.

We would always want to explore that story and its cultural relevance and rights and wrongs, as well as playing with it a bit.

Children have a strong sense of right and wrong, and talking about stories is a good way to access that.

We would also point to a lot of retellings of Sleeping Beauty, like The Worst Princess, which keep elements of the story but with a very empowered princess."

What about stories such as Little Red Riding Hood?

Surely being chased by a ravenous wolf is far more threatening?

More to the point, surely the attempted poisoning of Sleeping Beauty by the evil queen is not acceptable either?

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Booze Affects Your Mood - Who Knew?

The journal BMJ Open has published the results of a study that came to the stunning conclusion that different types of alcoholic drink change and shape your mood in different ways.

Spirits may make you feel angry, sexy or tearful, while red wine or beer may make you feel relaxed.

Nearly 30,000 people aged 18-34 from 21 different countries were questioned for the study.

This needed a study?

Kind of obvious isn't it?

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Fry Ups Cause Harmful Pollution - Simon Cooke Responds On Behalf of Humanity!

Just go away you joyless fussbucketing, judgemental, puritan nannies. I mean it, go and find something useful to do with your pathetic, sad, narrow-minded lives. Be gone. Now.
https://t.co/4rJ4BgWpdX

— Simon Cooke (@SimonMagus) November 20, 2017

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Scottish Nanny's Minimum Booze Price

My sympathies to the good people of Scotland, who are lumbered with Nanny's minimum pricing for alcohol.

This will not have any beneficial effect whatsoever, as people who drink 4 cans of beer for a £1 (Nanny's target) will stump up the new price of £4 for 4 and simply cut down on their other expenditure eg food, heating etc.

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Nanny Would Prefer Dehydration, Rather Than Coke

The boss of the “consumer voice” NGO who complained about cola being given to earthquake victims has deleted this tweet. pic.twitter.com/p6ExrlP56f

— Christopher Snowdon (@cjsnowdon) November 16, 2017

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Merry Greggsmas - Jesus Becomes Sausage Roll

Oh dear, Greggs the bakers has managed to offend a few people with its Christmas Advent Calendar.

The baby Jesus in the crib has been replaced with a pork sausage roll, thus managing to offend Christians and Jews (Jesus was Jewish).

However, Metro noted that there were a flurry of pastry related puns, such as ‘Jesus Crust, our savoury’ and ‘Away in Pret A Manger’.

Hey ho, and we aren't even in December yet!

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Facts vs Ideology

#womanshour "We talk to Dr Laura Stachel about why she invented a solar-powered midwifery suitcase" Actually, her husband invented it (as she herself admits), but let's not let facts get in the way of ideology, right?

— SkidRowLunchClub (@Sidleybird) November 13, 2017

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Kids Drinking Less - The End Of Civilisation As We Know It!

Underage alcohol sales in UK pubs hit record low >> Future generation of piss artistry in peril.
https://t.co/T4z03MrxhH

— Cooking Lager (@CarpeZytha) November 7, 2017

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Auntie Creates A Shit Show Out of Nothing - The Queen and The Paradise Papers

Auntie dragged herself down to new depths last night, by making her lead news item the fact that the Queen has £10M in an offshore vehicle of some sort or another.

Aside from the fact that in terms of this country's finances £10M is chicken feed, Auntie then went on to say that the Queen has in fact done nothing wrong and that as she is not legally required to pay tax she therefore cannot be accused of trying to avoid tax (which by the way is perfectly legal for rich and poor alike).

Are there really so few genuine issues, both domestically and globally, that Auntie is reduced to this form of shit show?

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Auntie Wants To Ban Men

All of the women I know (be they friends or ex colleagues etc) would, were they on the receiving end of an unwanted advance, put the person firmly in his/her place either verbally or with a slap.

That would be the end of the matter.

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