Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.
Showing posts with label ladders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ladders. Show all posts

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Nanny Bans Ladders

Oh dear Nanny has got her knickers in a twist over the health and safety issues regarding ladders, or rather the health and safety issues regarding the use of ladders when feeding tigers.

Step forward Nanny's chums from Barrow Borough Council, who have decreed that zoo keepers at South Lakes Safari Zoo must not use ladders when feeding the tigers, because the zoo keepers may fall off the ladders.

Ahem...has Nanny not considered that feeding tigers may actually be a tad more dangerous than climbing a ladder?

Apparently not!

Health and Safety inspectors served the South Lakes Safari Zoo, with a notice under section 21 of the Health and Safety at Work Act 1974. This means that they can no longer place food at the top of 20ft poles so their critically endangered Sumatran tigers can climb up and practice their hunting skills - a favourite attraction for visitors to the zoo for almost 20 years.

Barrow Borough Council has told the zoo that it must stop the feeding event, which is witnessed by thousands of visitors every year.

The Telegraph states that it is estimated that zoo staff have climbed ladders more than 75,000 times since 1996 “for the huge welfare benefit to the animals”.
"Even though the keepers now wear helmets, strap the ladders to the poles firmly and have permanent foot fixing points for the ladders, Barrow Borough Council wishes to stop us from feeding in this way as they claim it to be too dangerous for the staff." 
Nanny has her head up her arse on this, the tigers need exercise and the zoo keepers are more than happy to feed them in this manner. QED there is no problem, and the practice of feeding the tigers in this manner should continue!

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Friday, February 08, 2013

The Dangers of Chests



My thanks to the good people of IKEA for their "clear", "easy to follow" and risk averse instructions booklet showing me how to assemble a chest of drawers.

I was particularly grateful for the pictogram warning that advised me against using the completed chest of drawers as a staircase/ladder (by pulling the drawers out to form a staircase).

Good risk averse advice indeed!

However, why on earth would I want to use the chest of drawers as a staircase/ladder in the first place?

Oh, and if anyone is wondering, I didn't complete a risk assessment before assembling the product and, owing to the absence of a hammer, used a log of wood to bang in the nails.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Climbdown - Nanny Likes Flowers



Loyal readers will recall that last Thursday I wrote about the problems that Brain and Janna Coomber were having with Nanny:
"...after several years of doing the floral decorations (for free) at Weymouth railway station they have been told by Nanny to stop it.

For why?


Nanny fears for their health and safety wrt their use of a ladder for filling the hanging planters
."
Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, following the furore Nanny has backed down and has told them that they can carry on doing the flowers.

What happened?

Well, seemingly a risk assessment has now been conducted which has given the all clear; additionally South West Trains claims that there was a "misunderstanding".

LOL!

Nothing to do with the adverse publicity then?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Dangers of Bunting



2012 will be a busy year for celebrations and parties, not only do we have the Olympics but we also have the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and yet another lavish TV series by Lord Fellowes to watch.

All of these events are prompting people to plan street parties.

Needless to say Nanny has poked her bony finger into the planned celebrations. She is worried about the hanging of bunting, and has demanded that those who wish to hang bunting go on professional  health and safety courses that teach them how to mount (or is it climb?) ladders.

For good measure these courses will also teach us how to carry out the risk assessments required to put up tables for a street market.

FFS!!!!

Thus the good people of Petersfield Hampshire will have to attend a course called Safety With Ladders, which covers the Health and Safety Executive Work at Height Regulations 2005.

The hapless participants are shown how to set up a barrier around a ladder to stop people bumping into it, and how to position someone at the bottom of it to warn others the ladder is there.

Needless to say, there is a charge for the course.

£320!

Ker Farking Ching!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Nanny Hates Flowers

On the subject of flowers, as Lord of Atlantis pointed out yesterday, Nanny does seem to have something of a grudge against them.

As Brian and Janna Coomber discovered recently, when after several years of doing the floral decorations (for free) at Weymouth railway station they have been told by Nanny to stop it.

For why?

Nanny fears for their health and safety wrt their use of a ladder for filling the hanging planters.

What a sad, petty and timid little country we have become!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, January 04, 2010

Breaking Nanny's Rules Over Christmas

Christmas
Good morning my loyal readers,

Another Monday descends upon us like a low hanging rotting fruit falling from the branch.

As I face the start of the post Christmas/New Year working week, and observe the droop of my Christmas trees and sagginess of my tinsel, I have reflected upon the various ways in which I have broken Nanny's rules over the Christmas season:

1 I used the words "Merry Christmas" in my greetings, both oral and written, instead of saying "Happy Holidays".

2 I erected (can I say "erected"?) 3 Christmas trees, without ensuring that they will be replaced (ie they may not come from a sustainable supply).

3 I burned wood in my fireplaces, for visual effect, and used central heating at the same time; thus contributing to green house emissions.

4 I ate Brussels sprouts, thus contributing to greenhouse emissions.

5 I erected (there's that word again!) decorations without taking a course on "Working at Height".

6 I used a step ladder, without taking the requisite "How To Mount a Ladder" training course.

7 I plugged in vast numbers of electrical gadgets, extensions, cables, lights and animations without being professionally qualified to touch electrical equipment.

8 The electricity used in said lights etc, needless to say, will have contributed vastly to "global warming".

9 I drank all manner of stuff, with gusto! (who is "gusto"?).

10 I ate all manner of stuff, with gusto!

I am still alive, and won't be taking down the decorations until next weekend (midway compromise between British and Swedish traditions here in Frost Towers).

Feel free to add to the above list.

Ken

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Height Training

Ladders
I am impressed to see the many and varied ways Nanny comes up with, when it comes to wasting our time and money.

It has recently come to light that, way back in October 2004, a teacher at a school in Wokingham fell off a ladder whilst pinning a poster to a wall.

The teacher received £82K in compensation/legal costs, the result of which caused the council to train its staff to undergo training for "height activities".

I appreciate that some people are slack jawed, dribbling morons when it comes to using ladders. However, these people are unlikely to "learn" from any training re "height activities". The majority of people treat ladders etc with a healthy respect and care.

I would also note that there is a world of difference between pinning a notice to the wall (whilst using a small/simple ladder), to using a "real ladder" to scale the outside of a building as a fireman or window cleaner (where clearly some form of training is required).

The fact that this little story has taken so long to come out makes me wonder how many other hidden wastes of time and money have been going on, courtesy of our "respected" councils, over the years?

Feel free to drop me a note with any stories that you have.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Dangers of Flags

Flag
Congratulations to South Kesteven District Council for their contribution to the Nanny state. The health and safety "gurus" of the council have banned the town hall from flying the Union Flag on Armed Forces Day, 27 June, as climbing 8ft to reach the pole has been deemed 'too dangerous'.

The ban also applies to the St George's Cross flag, which is usually flown from the town hall on the Queen's birthday June 13.

The health and safety "gurus" are worried that the person mounting the ladder may slip and impale himself on the spiked gate below.

The irony being that the spiked gate was installed as a safety measure, to prevent people slipping and falling into a well below.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Dangers of Stepladders

Firemen and Ladders
I pity our poor firemen, in the good old days they were considered to be fit, healthy, strong and courageous individuals who would put their lives on the line for those in danger from conflagration.

These days, under Nanny, they are regarded as being somewhat lesser mortals who need to be rescued from life's many "dangers".

Nanny's chums from the Health and Safety Gestapo of Bedfordshire and Luton Fire and Rescue Service have ordered that firemen, who are trained to climb 300ft ladders, not mount (can I say "mount"?) small step ladders when fitting smoke alarms.

The alarms will, in future, be fitted by some Heath Robinson type 13ft "telescopic rod"...Oooh Errr Missus!

Suffice to say, the firemen think this idea is a load of old bollocks and note that they are trained to climb ladders (actually!).

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

The Dangers of Ladders - How To Earn Money

The Dangers of Ladders - How To Earn Money
I often write many a caustic word or two about the uselessness of our local councils, and how that are apt to come up with all manner of rules and regulations to stop us living our lives.

However, this story about a school caretaker suing his council rather neatly illustrates that some of us are the creators of our own prison and hell on earth.

Anthony Gower-Smith, school caretaker at Awbridge Primary School in Hampshire, fell off a 6ft stepladder in January 2004 whilst removing some display cards in the school hall. At over 70 he has been unable to work since, and had suffered skull fractures and an injury to his right kidney.

He merrily ran (or shuffled I assume) to his employer, Hampshire County Council, and claimed that they had not shown him how to use the ladder safely and that it was not suitable equipment for him to use.

Needless to say, this being the Nanny state, he ended up in court suing the council and recently won his case. The London High Court ruled that his employer, Hampshire County Council, was 75% to blame for the accident.

He had sued the authority for up to £50,000, but the amount of the award will be assessed at a later date.

The council said Mr Gower-Smith "knew perfectly well how to use a stepladder", and had been given a detailed manual on all aspects of his job.

Therefore, given people's stupidity and greed, it is not altogether surprising that councils have to try at times to protect themselves (and our council tax) from ambulance chasers etc.

We are building our own prison and shackles, brick by brick, link by link!

Self responsibility and taking the blame for our own actions have been eroded from our mindset by the Nanny state, it will take a long time to instill these virtues in our society again.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Nanny Bans Ladders


Oh dear, it seems that the health and safety Gestapo have struck again. This time they have forbidden firemen in the Bedfordshire and Luton Fire and Rescue Service to climb ladders.

Now I know and you know, and indeed the firemen know, that they are trained to climb ladders. However, the health and safety Gestapo have ruled that whilst it is an acceptable risk for them to climb ladders when dealing with a dangerous fire; they are not allowed to climb ladders to help clear Ampthill's bunting from a Gala day in July, or indeed help put up the Christmas lights.

In earlier years the local fire brigade has helped with the removal of the bunting. However, following one of Nanny's very "helpful" risk assessments (pass the sick bag someone) the health and safety Gestapo have said no to Gala bunting removal and Christmas lights erection.

The deputy chief fire officer, Graeme Smith, admitted it looked as if the world had "gone mad".

He said:

"One is a 999 job,

where in order to save lives

we will take calculated risks.

The other is a property maintenance job,

which is covered by standard health

and safety rules, which we would have to abide by
."

Funny, I would have thought that is was far more risky to climb a ladder into a burning building than to climb a ladder to remove bunting.

I dare say that Nanny will soon ban firemen from rescuing people from fires, as the risk will be deemed to be to great!

Is anyone in this country ever going to stand up to the health and safety Gestapo and tell them to fark off?

Oh, and if you really have nothing better to do, here is a complete episode of Trumpton:

Monday, October 15, 2007

Nanny Bans Christmas Lights

Nanny Bans Xmas
In the traditional run up to Christmas, nice to see the stores are already stocking their Christmas items (absurdly early, quite sickeningly early in my view), it should come as no surprise to learn that Nanny has launched her own traditional" attempt to put the mockers on the event.

In the old days, high streets up and down the country would be festooned with coloured lights and Christmas decorations; adding a little cheer to the gloomy December night sky. Unfortunately, Nanny has a belief that thousands of people have been killed an injured by falling decorations and electrical short circuits. As such she and the health and safety Gestapo have so tied the process of mounting a light display up in red tape, that many councils can simply not afford to put them up.

The Federation of Small Businesses says that the rules and requirements introduced by Nanny and the Gestapo are making insurance premiums too expensive for councils and traders.

Insurers, as is the norm, insist on strict adherence to health and safety guidelines. These guidelines require councils to use expensive specialist equipment to test the safety of light fittings.

Ladders are, of course banned, council workers have to hire hydraulic platforms.

Every light fitting must also undergo a "pull test", using specialist equipment to make sure it is strong enough. Lampposts are also now banned from being used as a hanging point for decorations, they are "unsafe".

Stephen Alambritis, of the Federation of Small Businesses, said:

"The festive period is looking darker

and bleaker year on year

Britain is facing a Christmas blackout this year.

The sense of pride a good festive display

can instill on a town centre is immeasurable.

Spiralling costs and exhaustive safety

concerns are ruining the festive spirit
."

Christmas in Birmingham
That is because Nanny doesn't give a stuff about Christmas, or about people having fun. Dictatorships throughout history, have been more than happy to ban or highjack a particular festival in order to use it for their own ends (eg Nanny's lickspittles in Birmingham, some years ago renamed Christmas "Winterval").

North Somerset Council have told traders in Clevedon that lights can no longer be attached to lampposts or buildings, therefore there will be no lights this year.

The council, as befitting a local council, have absolved themselves of any responsibility and blame a new code of practice. Its spokesman, Nick Yates, said:

"There is a code of practice which has to be followed

regarding the installation of Christmas lights.

The lighting columns are concrete and it is

not possible to attach lights to them
."

A small point, Mr Yates, codes of practice are simply codes of practice; they are not mandatory. The council, if it had the will and the cajones, could simply elect not to follow the code of practice. However, as with all councils, they adopt the zero risk approach because they are weak, untrained and unsuited for their roles.

You cannot zeroise risk, Nanny and her lackeys have yet to grasp that important point!

Bodmin council, in Cornwall, have issued an edict ordering that a pressure gauge be used to test all 150 bolts which hold lights or cables around the town.

This must be carried out by two workmen in a cherry picker, which will cost the authority £1,200 in training fees, plus their wages and the cost of the equipment. To test the bolts the town centre roads have to be closed for a day, and then closed again while the lights are put up.

Kim Roscoe, council spokesman, said:

"Health and safety requirements have

greatly increased the costs.

Bodmin will not be the same without its

Christmas lights, and it is particularly

galling as last year was the best ever
."

In Sandwell, Worcestershire, traders have been told that lights cannot be hung across the widths of roads, because of fears that cables may break.

Last year Scarborough Council cancelled the celebrity switch-on, because of police objections on various health and safety issues.

There will be no lights in Northampton, because the council cannot afford them.

The good old boys in the Association of British Insurers are quick to cover their backsides. A spokesman said that, because of an increasingly litigious culture, the cost of the liability cover was increasing.

"Insurance is a risk-based product

and a high proportion of that risk is liability.

If councils are protecting themselves from being

sued by a private party then the policies will be expensive
."

Can someone from Nanny's little world please tell me how many people in the UK have been injured, or killed, in the last 50 years by public Christmas decorations?

I am willing to bet the number is but a handful.

As to how we got ourselves into this mess, I am afraid it's a combination of a number of factors:
  • Greed of the insurance companies, who now regularly quote a minimum £5M figure for any public event


  • Weakness of local councils in not challenging the quotes of the insurance companies


  • Greed of individual citizens who sue for the slightest injury or accident


  • Greed of the ambulance chasing private injury law firms, who proactively encourage people to sue


  • Nanny and her lackeys in the health and safety Gestapo pushing through countless regulations that are ill thought through, and are designed to restrict people's daily lives rather than enhance the quality of their lives


  • Laughably poor quality local councils, feeble minded, weak in spirit and ill trained to understand or manage risk issues. They instead choose to adopt the "safe" zero risk approach
We really do need to make a stand against this nonsense, before we are totally swamped by rules and regulations that will destroy the very fabric of our lives.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Dangers of Ladders

The Dangers of Ladders
The Health and Safety Gestapo are at it again, pass the sick bag!

This time they have decreed that anyone on Nanny's payroll who intends to mount (can I say mount?) a ladder, needs approved ladder training.

Fair enough I suppose, if we are talking high ladders. However, the Gestapo have decreed that you need training even when the ladder is a mere 3 feet (or is it foot?) off the ground.

Failure to comply with this edict results in a fine of £5K.

There is a small irony here though, what sort of ladder only goes up 3 feet? The ladder used to install roadside speed indicators....

Lancashire County Council made an attempt to improve road safety, by installing electronic speed indicators which shame drivers into slowing down.

Thirty of the devices lie waiting to be put up on their roadside poles, but the council has found that it does not have enough staff qualified to go up ladders to install them.

Health and Safety Executive’s Working at Height Regulations 2005 (amended 2007) have been used by Nanny to stop Nanny putting up more speed indicators. Last year about 350 road deaths were ascribed to speeding. In the same period 14 people died after falling off ladders.

Lancashire used to have three roadside speed indicators, which were erected (can I say erected?) and maintained by the police. Policemen are qualified to go up ladders, but they are not qualified to teach other people how to do so. Now the police have decided that they are too busy to look after them.

Hah!

Nanny has hoisted herself on her own petard!

Friday, January 19, 2007

Hugh, Pugh, Barley, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grub




Ah the good old days, when Trumpton had a fire service that the world looked up to. No problem was too big or small for the lad's from the fire service to attend to.

Sadly, that was but a fantasy!

Nanny's health and safety Gestapo in Humberside has stuck its interfering nose into the work of the real fire service, and is considering the banning of ladders.

Yes, you did read that correctly...ladders!

Funny that, I thought that it was kind of an occupational hazard for firemen to shin up and down ladders.

Not in Nanny's' world!

You see folks, one of the services that firemen perform is that of installing smoke alarms in people's houses.

I did not know that before this...even I learn new things each day...and I'm a genius (so my Mum says!).

Anyhoo, Nanny's health and safety Gestapo are worried that the firemen might fall off the step ladder when they are installing the fire alarm. Therefore they wish a moveable platform to be used instead.

Now the Humberside Fire and Rescue Service is having to review its policy on step ladders, after Nanny's chums from the Fire Brigades Union pointed out that a 6ft stepladder may contravene the Health and Safety Executive Work at Height Regulations 2005.

Needless to say, the health and safety Gestapo are only too willing to validate their existence, and have agreed to review this.

As one fireman said:

"Where will this end?

Will we still be able to carry a rescued person down a ladder,

or enter a burning building, without the HSA on our back
?"

Don't worry, it would be a breach of the health and safety regulations for you to carry the HSE on your back!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

The Cost of Nanny

The Cost of NannyThose of you who doubt that Nanny's rules affect ordinary everyday activities, should read the following and weep.

Nanny's chums in the EU have issued a "Working at Heights Directive", which affects us here in the UK.

Father Anthony Sutch, of St Benet's Church in Beccles, had to call in electricians the other week to change light bulbs that are 40 feet above the congregation.

However, safety regulations deemed the church ceiling too high for a ladder; therefore scaffolding had to be erected, for a lengthy and costly replacement operation.

The cost?

Yours for £1300!

Monday, July 11, 2005

Ken Vents His Spleen On The Nanny State

Ken Vents His SpleenDear all,

I have decided to vent my spleen, by way of this article, against the Nanny State.

Thank you for your indulgence.

Ken

Britain has over the past few years allowed the "claw like" grasp of the Nanny state to take hold, and to stifle individual freedom and liberty. A Nanny state exists where the state believes that it knows what is in the best interests of those who it was elected to govern, and takes it upon itself to interfere in the minutiae of their daily lives.

Britain's Nanny state, by means of legislation and media propaganda, has set about its mission to control our daily lives with a messianic zeal. It has taken upon itself the right to lecture the British public about every aspect of their daily lives on subjects including; smoking, drinking, eating, exercise and health.

Many commentators ascribe the rise of the Nanny state in the UK to the rise of the blame and compensation culture, that has crept in from the USA.

To my view, whilst this may be a symptom, it is most certainly not the cause. The blame for the rise in the Nanny state rests "Full Square" on the shoulders of the state itself, ie the government.

Nannyism affects every aspect of our daily lives. Not one of us can escape the media onslaught that the government has subjected us to over the recent years, in respect of issues as diverse as; smoking, drinking, exercise and salt/sugar intake.

Aside from this media onslaught, the dead hand of bureaucracy has been toiling to produce an avalanche of petty rules and regulations; designed to control our every action, and to restrict our freedom.

I present a few examples below of Britain’s Nanny state at its worst:
  • The omnipotent Health and Safety executive ensures that every task that we undertake, even those as simple as raising a flag or climbing a ladder, cannot be performed without the requisite "jobsworth" training course being undertaken and certified.


  • Councils fell trees in the fear that, if they don't, people will slip on the fruit that falls on the ground. Wyre Forest Council, in a display of Orwellian control freakery, outlawed harmless words and phrases such as "Bristol fashion" because of an ill informed study suggesting that they have connections with the slave trade.


  • The government, in order to ensure that their pledge of "higher education for all" is achieved, manipulates the pass marks and the exam system so that all who take them can pass; witness the absurd media studies exam, where candidates will be given the paper one month in advance.


  • John Prescott, as though he has not got enough to do as he demolishes hundreds of thousands of houses in the North so that he can build new ones in the South, has taken it upon himself to regulate the temperature of hot water in our homes; lest we scald ourselves when taking a bath. He plans to legislate for thermostatic mixing valves to be fitted in all new homes as from 2006, these valves will prevent the water temperature rising beyond a pre-determined Nanny level.


  • Gloucester Local Education Authority have banned children from wearing safety goggles, as they present a drowning hazard. Seemingly the LEA believes that teachers will be distracted from the cries of drowning children, as they attempt to aid others put their goggles on.


  • The University Hospitals of Leicester NHS Trust has banned Gideon bibles from patients’ bedsides, as they believe that they will offend non-Christians.


  • School children are now restricted from taking part in field trips and off site courses, for fear of some dreadful calamity that might befall them. In my opinion, this risk aversion does the children more harm than good, the only way that children can learn and develop into mature and responsible adults is for them to be exposed to the risk of failure and danger. Life and risk is not to be feared, but to be embraced.
Nanny has gained power over us because people have become afraid of failure and of risk. Politicians, instead of managing risk, have sough to zeroise risk. This is of course an impossible goal. However, today's politicians are intellectually lazy and unprincipled. They neither have the ability, nor the will, to stand up to those who hanker after a risk free society; they baulk at telling the voters that not only is zero risk impossible, but that it is in fact dangerous.

It is only through risk taking that mankind develops; from the first tentative steps that a child takes, when it is learning to walk and to fall, to the development of revolutionary new products such as aeroplanes and IT systems. Nothing in our history has been achieved without risk and failure.

We are now faced with the third term of the Blair government. This promises to bring in yet more legislation aimed at governing the minutiae of our lives; smoking, id cards (allegedly to protect us from id theft), religious bigotry and the never-ending campaign against certain proscribed foodstuffs will all be featured in this third term.

Many say that they do not mind or care as, for example, they don’t smoke or eat fast food. That argument was used once before, and led to disaster. I would remind you of the following, which was written by a far wiser person than myself:

"First they came for the gypsies, but I did not speak up

Why should ?

I am not a gypsy.

Then they came for the communists, but I did not speak up

Why should I?

I am not a communist

Then they came for the Jews, but I did not speak up

Why should I?

I am not a Jew

Now they are coming for me

Who is there left to speak up for me
?"

The Nanny state, by over regulating our lives brings both the state and the law into disrepute. Nanny’s much vaunted ASBO's are rapidly becoming a mockery. No one can take the law seriously, when ASBO's are given to farmers because of the actions of their livestock; as happened when Brian Hagan was issued with an ASBO, by Norfolk constabulary, to prevent his pigs from escaping. A society that has no respect for the law becomes ungovernable, and faces destruction from within.

The Nanny state by regulating people's lives, and by robbing them of the responsibility for their own lives, makes the population reliant on the state. Britain now has over 7 million people working in the public sector, ie they are working for the benefit of the government not for their own advancement. They are now totally dependant on the state for their livelihood, the perfect bedrock for the foundation of a dictatorship.

The opposition parties are, and have been for a number of years, paralysed. The Tory Party is selecting yet another leader, yet it has still not worked out what it actually believes in. Whilst the Liberal Party has deluded itself into thinking that it did rather well at the last election, and as such has taken an undeserved holiday. It is now down to the people of Britain to take a stand against Nanny, and to say enough is enough.

Ken Frost

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Nanny On The Cross

Nanny On The CrossNanny, as we all know, is very worried about causing religious offence.

She is keen to pass a bill that would outlaw any form of "religious hatred", needless to say precisely what constitutes "religious hatred" has yet to be defined.

As with everything that Nanny does, details are left to fate and to bureaucrats to decide.

In the spirit of her new found "religious zeal", Nanny has been getting rather worked up over the offence that the crucifix may cause to non Christians.

After all, we are a Christian country, it is very wrong of us to expect others to tolerate our beliefs and practices.

Nanny's chums in Torbay Council have decided that the display of a five foot crucifix in their crematorium is offensive, and therefore have decided to remove it.

It has also announced that the chapel would in future be known as the ceremony hall.

Alan Faulkner, Torbay Council's executive member for Environmental Services, said:

"We live in a diverse, multi-faith society and many people have no specific beliefs at all. The facility at Torquay Crematorium is a ceremony hall, it is not a chapel."

Mr Faulkner said that crematorium staff had received a number of requests to have the cross removed, even though this posed a danger to staff; who had to climb a ladder to take it down.

Ah ha!

Nanny had to break Health and Safety rules to remove the cross, maybe she will get sued?

Faulkner added:

"While I am a Christian, I fully support this decision as I recognise we have a duty as a council to cater for everyone. It is not our intention to offend or upset anyone by removing the cross from the wall."

Needless to say, Nanny has offended a large number of people.

However, as you may have already gathered, Nanny doesn't give a monkeys!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The Art of Ladder Climbing

The Ancient Art of Ladder ClimbingNanny strongly believes in "risk avoidance"; an absurd attitude, as one can never eliminate risks. Indeed, risk and struggle gives life meaning.

Anyhoo, Nanny feels that one way to avoid risk is to ensure that people are properly trained to undertake their daily tasks.

Unfortunately Nanny insists that people are disbarred from taking certain actions, if they have not received the requisite training. Needless to say Nanny's training schemes cover the minutiae of daily routines.

One such training scheme involves training police officers in the ancient art of ladder climbing.

The result of Nanny's inflexible attitude to training meant that one group of police officers in Middleton, Manchester, were unable to investigate the vandalism of a church in Middleton.

The reason?

They had not yet been of the ladder climbing training course.

Spiffing!