Pass the sickbag someone, Nanny's trolls in Oxford City Council have created a new Orwellian team of "thought police".
Waste Education Officers!
Cue a roll on the drums!
Nanny's trolls have also invented a new way to tax the long suffering citizens of Oxford, homeowners who produce more than one wheelie bin full of waste per fortnight will be fined £80.
All very well, but the bunch of numpties in Oxford City Council who came up with this tax wheeze, have abolished weekly waste collections and replaced them with fortnightly ones.
However, the hapless taxpayers of Oxford will receive "value for money" (note I am being "ironic" here) for their extra tax; a team of "Waste Education Officers" has been created.
What the fark are "Waste Education Officers"? I hear you ejaculate (can I say "ejaculate"?).
"Waste Education Officers" will come round to your home and teach you all about what you can and cannot throw away.
They will empty taxpayers' bins, and go through it with them in their own homes.
Here is the council's news release, which goes on about lilac sacks:)
Reality of course is a very strict mistress, the rubbish will simply pile up in people's gardens; as no one in their right mind will pay another £80 on top of the already outrageous council tax.
BTW, this council is ZaNuLabour.
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I'm sure there's a nice big entrance hall in Oxford Town Hall that could take an enormous amount of waste.
ReplyDeleteDo you remember that farmer in the Lake District a few years ago who covered his local council offices with the contents of his muck-sprayer?
Just saying.
One councillor, one wheelie-bin.
ReplyDeleteThey do fit and you can still get the lid closed provided that you bash them down with a shovel or remove the heads. We checked with our Binmen (deliberate use of the term) before the week of the pogrom to ask for their preferences regarding use of the rubbish, re-cycling, gardening, left-handed, upper-middle, lower-central or working-class colour-coded wheelie-bins. They said that so long as the lid was shut we could put the bodies in whichever we liked or just arrange them on top and they'd be happy to take them to the tip.
Oh hang on - the pogrom's not until next week.
Politicians beware - one day your minions will forget to dose the water supply and then you are, as they say, for it. Sanity will prevail once more I tell you. Tee-hee ha-ha boing boing wibble whip crack away and spoil me another ballot paper Miss Jones, I feel the need to sack the entire political species in all senses of the word "sack".
Ken Keysey wrote a novel "Sailor Song". The hero was a guy with the moniker Bakatcha Bandit. His moment of fame was when he loaded his topdressing plane with waste from sceptic tanks and sprayed the nobs at the County fair.
ReplyDeleteJust Saying
It conjours up a strange image picturing a Waste Education Officer, complete with hi viz vest and clipboard, emptying my bin in my home and going through it with me.....I am afraid that, if he emptied my bin in my lounge for example, to go through it with me, I feel I would likely find an alternative use for disgarded fruit and veg such as Pineapples and carrots etc....Their new use, which I would imagine would chafe somewhat, would be to use them as body orifice plugs for the waste education officer....I would imagine I would insert them with the aid of my right boot, now I wonder if this would be deemed a good recycling policy:-))
ReplyDeleteI read yesterday that the head of the bin quango received a £33,000 bonus, on top of her £200k salary and expense account, because all boxes were ticked and all targets met, apparently she spent £38m on trying to pursuade local nannies to implement the ABC sceme, which means Alternate Bin Collections or, to the rest of us, fortnightly bin collections......It is good to know that our hard earned tax money is being put to good use, I don't think......These "public servants"(sic) need to be reminded that they work for us and that the dog wags it's tail, but the tail does not wag the dog.
As soon as nanny got her orders from frau EU nanny about 'landfill directives' and started inspecting bins left open 1/2 inch as overful I knew the day of the enivornmental community inspector was coming. Mad Jock McBrown can claim they are all part of his wonderful new 'green jobs' agenda and we will have another bunch of parasitical jobsworths to pay for.
ReplyDeleteStuff the EU, stuff New Labour the Cons and the Libs a vote for any of them is a vote for more nanny and more of nanny's hi-vis vested morons interfering in our lives.
What you do when the waste education officer comes to your house and asks to inspect your bin, show him where it is and open the lid. When he looks into the bin pick him up by his ankles and drop him in head first. He did ask to inspect your rubbish.
ReplyDelete