Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Nanny Bans Mince Pies

Nanny Bans Mince Pies
"Tis the season to be merry,

Trah Lah Lah

It's that time of year again where people do their best to have a good time, and Nanny does her best to stick her nose in where it is not wanted.

Nanny's chum Neil Davies, headmaster at Mynydd Cynffig Junior School in Kenfig Hill, has decreed that home-made mince pies and other Christmas cakes are to be banned, because in his view they pose a health and safety threat.

The children at his school were looking forward to taking their mothers' highly toxic cakes to the school's annual Christmas sale.

However, Davies banned them because he believes that some children have allergies to certain foods and he could never be sure of the ingredients which had been used in home-made produce.


"There is a risk of someone becoming ill

from something home-made.

I don't know what the ingredients are

and there are allergies.

Because of things like that,

we made a decision as a school.

I have had no complaints from anyone

linked to the school about this.

I have got to guarantee the health

and safety of the pupils

Here's why he is talking bollocks:

1 There is a risk in every food product we eat

2 You cannot eliminate risk

3 To attempt to wrap children in cotton wool is a very bad way to prepare them for the real world

4 He has not got to "guarantee" health and safety

5 How many thousands of kids die each year from eating mince pies?

6 Children and adults eat themselves sick over Christmas

7 Home made food is better than shop made shite

8 I bet he has had complaints...

Here's a complaint, one mother is quoted:

"It seems crazy.

We invited our children's friends round

for parties at home and serve up mince pies

we've cooked,

so what's the difference selling them

at the Christmas school fair

Children wrapped in cotton wool make lousy adults, denying them a decent level of exposure to the real world is a form of abuse.


  1. Anonymous11:30 AM

    "I have got to guarantee the health
    and safety of the pupils"

    Or to put it another way: "Please sue me if any accident happens to your child - because that means I've failed in my job"

    Somehow I don't think he meant that...

  2. Anonymous11:35 AM

    An easy way to get the mince pies back on the menu at Nanny State High School - tell the 'headperson' that they are vegan, halal pies made by the lesbian and gay parents co operative to celebrate 'our diverse, yet inclusive, period of winter reflection in a non violent, non commercial, carbon reducing and gender neutral fashion.

    They will be back on the menu faster than you can say 'Happy Winterval everyone.'

  3. Anonymous11:40 AM

    Is there going to be any end to this madness?

    I think we need to have a serious look at the harm conditional fee arrangements with lawyers, are doing to our way of life.
    It is a sad day when traditional British customs have to be banned because of the fear of litigation.

  4. How ever did we manage before Nanny came along to protect us ? All those years spent at primary school from the early 70s and I was exposed to horrendous amounts of danger every Christmas at our yearly end of term Christmas party. I could have strangled myself with Tinsel, grown up emotionally scarred having lost at 'Pass the Parcel' and been poisoned by the homemade food that all the parents and teachers contributed to make our final day before breaking up for the Christmas holidays that extra bit more fun.

    Funny then that during those seven years not one child hung themselves from the decorations, no-one committed festive suicide after losing a game and to the best of my knowledge not a single classmate died after eating mince pies ( although 'snotty' Dawson did throw up all over the Christmas tree one year but that was caused by a triple helping of trifle, far too many crisps and a surfeit of lemonade).

    What did happen was that we all had a damn good time in a brightly decorated school hall, had fun playing games and stuffed ourselves silly on party food. That's what Nanny can't abide though isn't it ? People having fun.

  5. Anonymous3:35 PM

    Hmm. School Winter fairs. Hmm.

    Parents go out and buy stuff for the fair, maybe cook and consume energy. Then donate to the school.

    Another parent then buys something they don't really want for a fraction of its original cost OR buy raffle tickets and win nothing.

    Makes no sense.

    Why not just work out how much the event might cost and donate it? Would save a lot of effort and organisation all of which cannot be cost effective.

    Merry Festive season.


  6. "I have had no complaints from anyone linked to the school about this."

    Er, none from people in the administration of schools: kids, parents, teachers, charities etc are not "linked."

    It is not really about safety, but - as another commenter noted - costs of litigation. When an auto manufacturer is sued because "cruise control" does not mean "autopilot" allowing leaving the driver's seat to make tea, and the courts allow the suit to be heard (and fees paid to legal represantives) we know that lawsuits against schools because kids do not play in their neighbourhoods outside school hours are soon to follow.

  7. Anonymous7:36 PM

    Yet another load of BOLLOCKS....

  8. Anonymous12:45 AM

    Neil Davies sounds like a real pussy-whipped woose.

    "I have got to guarantee the health and safety of the pupils"

    Bollocks! When you realise there is no security in life you can stop worrying and just get on and enjoy it. Mr Davies needs to be sent on an extreme outward bound course in Helmand to help him find his backbone and balls. Spineless tosser!

  9. High time these snivelling canting Praise-Be-to-Nanny Barebones Cromwellian types were booted out!

    Bring back maypoles and wassail.