Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Elf 'n Safety

Elf 'n Safety
Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat (if Nanny hasn't put him on a diet) etc.

As we move inexorably towards the season of festive fun and frolics, Nanny's Elf 'n Safety Gestapo are on the march again.

This time they have put their size ten jackboots into Santa's sleigh. Nanny is worried that Santa may fall off his sleigh, which travels at a mind boggling 5 mph, and have ordered him to belt up.

Recall the halcyon days when a man with a red flag had to walk in front of a car, lest it run someone over?

Nanny brings those memories flooding back with her prissy attitude to Santa's sleigh.

Anyhoo, Santa's visits to Halesowen West Midlands have been organised by Halesowen and Rowley Regis Rotary Club every year for 20 years. Unfortunately our old friends in the money grasping world of insurance almost put paid to Santa emptying his sack (can I say that here?), when they issued an edict saying he must wear a seat belt and upped the premiums accordingly.

Fortunately a modification to his sleigh was made, a harness was added.

Rotary president Barry Wheeler was not that impressed with the Elf 'n Safety knobheads.


"We have done the sleigh round the towns

for something like 18 to 20 years.

Every year we have made sure Santa gets to

go through the town and wave to the children.

But this year we found out we actually

needed a much more wide-ranging insurance

policy for Santa riding on the sleigh

because of health and safety rules.

It would have run into a four-figure sum

which we just couldn't afford to pay.

We pay for the Santa sleigh visits out

of the club funds,

not from the collections we do.

But even club funds couldn't run

to the huge amount the insurance wanted.

It just seemed ridiculous, especially

because he doesn't actually ride on

the sleigh that often.

The sleigh is towed from place to place

by a Land Rover. Santa only usually gets

on once we get to the place of choice

and then the sleigh is towed at a rather

stately 5mph.

He would be more likely to injure himself

getting in and out of the sleigh than

actually falling out of it

Insurance companies are getting away with murder these days, thanks to Nanny's zero risk policies and people's greed and desire to sue for the slightest accident/bit of bad luck.


  1. Anonymous11:56 AM

    In my experience insurance companies always find some technicality to get out of paying anyway, so why bother?

  2. Anonymous12:48 PM

    Elf n Safety....petty and silly if you ask me. Pompous boring pillocks with too much power for their tiny brains to handle.
    Yes I know that some "professional" Elf'n'Safety officers say that it is down to amatuers in the game of Elf'n'Safety, but they will ALWAYS find something "wrong" to justify their well paid positions. If common sense prevailed, there would be no 'Elf'n'Safety industry.

    I was amused yesterday to see that a local Punch and Judy operator has introduced an 'Elf'n'Safety officer into his show, he takes the slap stick from Mr Punch incase Mr Punch drops it on his foot and hurts himself....sums it all up really.

    Comes down to too many lawyers chasing ambulances for their compensation cases on a conditional fee basis. Too many companies settle out of court due to the costs of defending such an action.

  3. Anonymous10:27 PM

    This is all beating about the bush.

    Scottish Nannies are, I believe, considered the most desirable Nannies. They have a worldwide reputation.

    So it is appropriate that those of Scottish persuasion should take direct action without resorting to the excuse and machinations of commercial operatives as the mealy mouthed English 'E&S orificers do.

    No, in Scotland they just assume that people only take their children swimming in order to drown them and so, by ensuring that every child has its own responsible adult looking after it, any drowning cases can be more readily solved simply by identifying the adult allocated to the child.

    Full details of the scheme here:

    We English have a lot to learn ...