Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Nanny Bans Ramp

Nanny Bans RampAh the joys of being a teenager, the world hates you and you are covered in puss.

Halcyon days!

One would therefore think that any modest device or amusement that keeps teenagers out of trouble (relative to the meaning of the word these days), and helps them expend their surplus energy would be rather a good idea.

Quite so, unless that is you are Nanny.

My sympathies therefore to the hapless, puss ridden, teenagers of St Newlyn East who are to have their skateboard ramp facility removed.


Nanny's chums on the parish council have deemed that the ramp, installed only 8 weeks ago at the village playground, is a health and safety hazard.

Pass the sick bag someone.

Are they seriously trying to get people to believe that they didn't check it out before building it?

Local parents are quite rightly well pissed off with the knobheads on the council. The ramp helps to keep the youths off the streets, mind you we do have jails for that, and gives them something to do.

A parent said:

"The ramp was offered for free

by one of the locals and the council

agreed to fix it and put it in the park.

Everybody was pleased.

But now, because of health and safety fears,

it has to be removed and everybody is

gutted because it gives the youths

something to do.
We think they have done an amateur job.

First they said yes and now when the kids love it

they are taking it away unless we form an

independent committee that will take the

responsibility for it

Now we see why Nanny is annoyed:

1 It was not her idea to put the ramp in

2 She hates people thinking and acting independently

3 People like it, that certainly is something she hates

4 She loves committees, and there is no committee running it.

How the fark can a committee run a ramp?

What dick head on the council came up with that brain wave?

The parents are now trying to form a committee, but the council want it to be funded and will not fund it of course.

Therefore, no ramp.

Chairman of St Newlyn East parish council, Martin Harvey, said:

"The ramp is successful and doing exactly

what it's supposed to be doing and

we are pleased with it.

The youths are important part of the village

and we want to look after them and

keep them off the streets.

But we, as councillors, would like

a group to come forward and run it

on the same basis as the football

and cricket club is run

Errmmm...but a ramp is not a football club.

How the fark can a committee run a ramp?


  1. Anonymous12:21 PM

    Nanny is more than likely upset for the reasons you state, but it is likely also that she is upset because she is not getting her cut...Kerching.
    She hates not getting her cut even more than she hates people having fun.

  2. Anonymous1:21 PM

    Sorry to be pedantic, but isn't it pus? I have visions of feline-ridden teenages, which though amusing, can't be right..

  3. Anonymous1:53 PM

    Oh, they forgot to say why they want a committee? Because somebody has to pay the insurance premiums ...

  4. may well be right about pus rather than puss!

  5. Damn, somebody got there first with 'pus'.
    Speaking as an aging rock'n roller, I'd love to be covered in puss at any age.