Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Prats of The Week - Water Ban

Prats of The WeekGosh it seems that there has been a veritable smorgasbord of "Prats of The Week" Awards recently.

Is that a good thing, or a bad thing I wonder?

Anyhoo, this time I doff my cap and polish the "Prats of The Week" orb (we really must design one and mass produce it) for the knobheads of Bury Town Hall.

Nanny's chums in the town hall have got their frilly knickers in a twist over the issue of people taking liquids into the town hall for events, such as dance classes.

Is this cos of security issues Ken?

Are they expecting some heinous plot to blow up the town hall using liquid explosives?

Errmmm...no!

The rule has been imposed to stop people turning up at events with their own alcohol.

Now all well and good if you want to make a profit selling booze at wedding receptions etc. However, the jobsworths at the town hall are also banning people from taking bottled water into dance classes.

Oh, of course there is an alternative, the town hall helpfully tells dance class students that they can buy soft drinks at the bar.

Ker farking ching!

This being a Nanny stupidity issue, there is one more factoid that I need to impart to you. People can still bring soft drinks into the town hall if they are attending a physical exercise classes.

Unfortunately, Nanny defines dance classes as a "social activity".

Commonsense would of course dictate that all Nanny has to do is to change the definition, or indeed simply turn a blind eye.

However, my loyal readers, as we all know Nanny never uses commonsense.

Nanny now confiscates the dance class members' water, and tells them to collect it on the way out.

They have quite happily been taking water there for the last 6 years, this fact is ignored by the town hall and council.

By the way, even if the dance class members wish to use ordinary tap water (supplied by the town hall) they are still charged for that!

Ker farking ching!

Bury Town Hall, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Drop them a line here Bury Town Hall.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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10 comments:

  1. Ken,

    It is not often I disagree with you however, this time I must, the award should have gone to the people of Bury for accepting this ruling and going along with it.

    As I read through your piece, I was sure I knew which way it was going; I thought this was going down the 'elf'n'safety route.....I was sure the jobsworths were going to say that if someone spilt the water, it would be a slip hazzard but then, you disclosed the real reason.....Kerching!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You really couldn't make it up, could you.

    This country is going down the toilet.

    ReplyDelete
  3. smithy11:42 AM

    I thought there was an EU law applicable in this country that tap water CANNOT be charged for, and neither can an establishment make a service charge for supplying a glass etc.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Smithy -

    That law only refers to restaurants; not that councils take any notice of laws anyway.

    Tonk is quite right though. There are plenty of dance classes - go to another and ignore the jobsworths.

    I have seen plenty of nanny literature about getting regular exercise ect. Dancing is often quoted as one good way to get exercise. Obviously the muppets at Bury council dont agree. Joined up government, my arse.

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  5. Anonymous12:25 PM

    Now I see why people want to be councillors. I always thought it was out of a misguided sense off duty to fellow man, or more precisly put, the urge to bully fellow citizens with petty rules.

    Now I see the real reason, once in power you make lots of silly rules that will rake in ever more money, thus ensuring you will get a nice healthy salary and a huge pension paid for by the likes of you and me.

    Ker-farking-ching indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Julius Caesar2:03 PM

    "Nanny now confiscates the dance class members' water, and tells them to collect it on the way out.

    They have quite happily been taking water there for the last 6 years, this fact is ignored by the town hall and council.

    By the way, even if the dance class members wish to use ordinary tap water (supplied by the town hall) they are still charged for that!
    Ker farking ching!"

    Strikes me those in charge at Bury Town Hall are taking the p***!

    ReplyDelete
  7. They should be drinking it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous2:26 PM

    The real prats are the good citizens for meekly handing over their water bottles and not telling the jobsworths where to stick it before leaving to do the cha cha cha somewhere else.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ima Jerkoff9:00 AM

    I have no skills at all and spend all day jerking off over the underwear section of the Littlewoods catalogue. I hate all humanity and would love to wear a nice shiny hi vis vest and become a community water bottle enforcement officer. Where do I sign up?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous2:35 PM

    You may be too normal for this job. Have you consider being a PSCO instead?

    ReplyDelete