Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Dangers of Wendy Houses

My thanks to a loyal reader who alerted me to a particularly daft piece of Nanny nonsense concerning a trampoline and a Wendy House.

Scarlett Cox, five years old (far too young to have to encounter Nanny nonsense) has been "evicted" from her Wendy House by Tandridge District Council.

Scarlett was given the house for her last birthday. However, local planning officers have decreed that she can no longer use it.

For why?

Her home is in Auckland Road, Caterham, which is communal and owned by Tandridge District Council.

Her mother Nicola received a letter from the council last month saying that the Wendy House and a trampoline must be removed from the garden by July 10 on health and safety grounds.

Ms Cox is quoted by This Is Surrey Today:
"It just seems so pathetic and petty. We bought it as a surprise present for Scarlett's fifth birthday last year.

We fitted it out with carpets and curtains, and painted it in bright colours.

Scarlett was so excited when she first saw it – she almost cried with joy.

She would sit with her friends in her new house after school, and have her dinner in there."
She said her neighbours' kids used to love playing in the garden too.
"We're all being told we should get kids active and out in the fresh air, yet their play equipment is being taken away.

We four neighbours suggested to the council we could draw up a legal document saying we would exclude the council from any responsibility if there were any injuries, but they don't seem to want to know."
A spokeswoman for Tandridge District Council said:
"The trampoline and Wendy House have been placed on land which is owned by the council and should be available to all leaseholders to use.

We have not given permission for the land to be used in this way and we cannot risk anyone being injured on the land.

We would not consider a joint waiver because it would still be our land and our responsibility and open to anyone to use, which means we would be liable for any health and safety issues."
What a prison we have built for ourselves under the "benign rule" of Nanny!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries


  1. Tonk.3:01 PM

    Nanny does appear to hate Wendy Houses, given that this is not the first time a council has stomped their size fifties over a child's play house. I can recall a couple of similar examples and a couple where Nanny has got upset about a tree house too.

    I am sure those that love to be called "officers" sit around, at our expense, dreaming up crazy ways to inconvenience the general public; I bet the sad old officers are having a good laugh at this one!

  2. You have missed another issue of major concern.

    "You are not allowed to call this structure by a gender-specific title such as "Wendy". And you may not refer to it by a "child's house", as this ageist. In any case, it is not a house. If it were, you would need planning permission for it, regardless of the nature of the structure. You do not have planning permission, so we require that you demolish it immediately, and restore the site to its previous state. We shall make an appropriate charge for the removal of any residue, replanting, and restitution of any detritus that formerly occupied the site. There will, of course be administrative and compliance charges for this, together with an additional fee for the inspection at the conclusion of the works. We require you to engage the services of Council-approved contractors to deal with the project. Before you commence the works involved, you will need to apply for a permit. The application form must be submitted in triplicate, together with the application fee of £500, and should be countersigned by an appropriate individual, eg an MP (to whom the endorsement fee of £300 will be payable), the CEO of the Council (ditto), or the Archbishop of Canterbury (not ditto). We value you as a longstanding customer, and look forward to serving you in future. Have a nice day!"

    1. Anonymous4:37 AM

      Ha! Off to reeducation camp for you, ken!


  3. Lord of Atlantis12:40 AM

    Typical actions of council jobsworths who cannot bear to see anyone under their control enjoying themselves!