Prats of The Week - Brighton Council

Oooh err missus, 'tis a Monday morning and time to award one of my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes to Brighton council.

For why?

A few days ago the council turned Windmill Street into a one way street with a cycle lane, and erected (can I say "erected" before the 9PM watershed?) two "no entry" signs at one end of the road.

Nothing wrong with that, or was there?

Take a wee look at the above photo, can you tell me what the problem is children?

Yes, that's right, the newly painted cycle lane on the left hand side of the street has a nice big arrow pointing in the opposite direction to the one way traffic flow!

Thus, were cyclists to ignore the no entry signs, cyclists would find themselves cycling in the wrong direction down a one way street into oncoming traffic!

Whatever happened to Nanny's obsession with health and safety?

Brighton council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Booze Matters - Nanny Tries To Save Pensioners

Pass the sick bag someone, I see that Nanny is now having a go at the drinking habits of pensioners.

The BBC's Panorama programme, no doubt at the behest of Nanny, decided to ask Sheffield University to model the effects of a 50p per unit minimum price.

Statisticians estimated the effect would be 50,000 fewer alcohol-related deaths in England among over 65s, over the course of 10 years.

Suffice to say this will now feature on next Monday's Panorama which airs ("oddly" enough) at the same time as Andrew Lansley (who thought minimum pricing was bollocks) has been sacked and the Home Orifice is saying the following:

 "We will introduce a minimum unit price for alcohol, ensuring for the first time that alcohol can only be sold at a sensible and appropriate price. 

The proposal has the backing of the Royal College of Physicians and the Association of Chief Police Officers and could mean 50,000 fewer crimes and around 900 fewer alcohol related deaths per year by the end of the decade.

We will consult on the level of minimum unit price in the autumn.” 

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, Nanny has made her mind up and is using the BBC to do her dirty work for her by pre empting a "hue and cry" over pensioner deaths from alcohol.

In the programme, according to the Telegraph, Sarah Wadd, director of the Substance Misuse and Ageing Research Team at the University of Bedfordshire, says:

“We might be on a cusp of an epidemic of people drinking problematically in old age.”

"We might be"???

That doesn't sound very scientific to me!

Dr Richard Aspinall, a liver specialist at Queen Alexandra Hospital in Portsmouth, said:

"We think of a very visible social disorder, consequences of young people binge drinking on a Saturday night in our town centres but what’s much more hidden is quiet, below the radar drinking at home and it’s very easy for people to drink more than they are actually aware of, to get above the safe limits.”

FFS!

Nanny pretends to be concerned about the welfare of pensioners, that makes me puke!

Were Nanny to be really so concerned about pensioners welfare and well being, she would address the following issues:

- The lousy level of pensions
- The disgraceful "quality" of care being provided to the elderly by public and private healthcare organisations
- Discrimination being practised against the elderly by the NHS in terms of speed and quality of treatments offered
- The patronising treatment of the elderly by society as a whole, and most specifically the state
- The right to assisted death with dignity, as and when someone (not necessarily elderly) wants it etc.

Nanny will not address these issues, instead she will focus on Cameron's fetish of minimum alcohol pricing.

As and when I start to enter my final years I can assure you that the thought of ending up in one of Nanny's homes, on a drip wallowing in my own shit, unwashed uncared for will most certainly drive me to drink.

I want no part Nanny's system for the elderly and will most assuredly (if I am still physically/mentally able) end my days with dignity with a bottle of vodka and a box of pills before Nanny can get her bony hands on me!

This country offers elderly people nothing but misery to look forward to, Nanny should be subsidising their drink not taxing it!

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Nanny's Filtering Obsession

As I have noted before on this site, Nanny has a wee bit of an obsession about filtering what we are allowed to access on the internet. Nanny uses tired old excuse "won't someone think of the children?" as her rationale for introducing filtering which, she claims, will limit children's access to porn on the web.

Nanny wants people automatically barred from accessing "unsuitable" adult material, unless they actually choose to view it.

Who decides what is "unsuitable" I wonder?

Define "porn"? 

ROFLOL!

Clearly the cretins within the government who have come up with this idea have never heard of proxy access. I guarantee that the average teenager/kid is light years ahead of these cretins, and can easily override any anti porn filter.

Anyhoo, aside from this idea being a nonsense, it also sets a dangerous precedent and will tempt future governments to filter other content that Nanny may not approve of.

To this end the Open Right Group are asking people to email them and their MPs if they disagree with this proposal:

"Some MPs and religious groups are mounting a campaign to push 'default on' network level blocking on the UK Internet.[1] [2] There is now a public consultation considering this idea.

However well meaning, we know from our own research [3] what happens when ISPs put blocks on the Internet. Through accident or abuse, censorship leads to lots more content being blocked than originally intended.[4][5]

Sites will get blocked if they casually mention sex. Sexual health sites will get caught.[6] The websites of clubs and bars, personal blogs and community sites get filtered. Chat sites may be banned – because they might not be sufficiently “policed”. In short, if you’re small and independent, you will suffer. 

Innovation and free speech are threatened by this clumsy website blocking. And the government is considering turning this on by default.[7] You may be presented with a list of ticked “filtered” categories, and have to untick them if you want to avoid the filtering.

And if this happens at the network, then future governments can easily extend what gets filtered without having to ask you. Mass censorship would be couple of clicks away. 

This action helps you submit evidence to the public consultation - and also to your MP, so they know ordinary people are concerned about this."

Here is the link if you wish to send your MP an email Stop Opt-Out Adult Filtering.

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Nanny's Appetite For Life

"Kudos" to Nanny's chums in Cardiff council for recently creating a temporary in house job (note the job is only available to employees of Cardiff council - why?), the sole purpose of which seems to be to encourage children to eat more school meals.

When I was a lad, my fellow pupils and I would stuff our faces (no boiled cabbage though); there was absolutely no need for us to be encouraged to eat!

Why does the council wish kids to eat more school meals, given that school meals have been given a drubbing by the likes of Jamie Oliver et al over the last few years?

Aren't many school meals, generally, the same reheated shite that people serve at home anyway?

Appetite For Life Co-ordinator

ED50126358
Job Category: Catering/Cleaning/Caretaking
Contract type: Temporary
Working hours: Full Time
Department: Education
Grade: Grade 6
Salary: £22,221 - £26,276
Closing date: 17/08/2012

This vacancy is only available to employees of Cardiff Council including Cardiffworks and Agency Workers currently engaged with the Council.

A unique opportunity has arisen for the post of Appetite for Life Coordinator, on a 12 month secondment, to work with Cardiff Catering, the Council’s in-house Education Catering service.

The successful applicant will be required to coordinate the implementation of the Appetite for Life Food and Drink Standards in schools across Cardiff and to develop initiatives to encourage the uptake of school meals through links with schools, parents, children and local health groups. The post holder will represent Cardiff on various related groups and promote partnership working.

You will need to have a sound catering and/or nutrition background with relevant skills, qualifications and experience of working within schools. You will report to the Catering Services Manager and work within a team of professionals in this forward thinking and award winning service group.

You should enjoy the interaction with children and young people and have a mature and robust personality. Candidates should possess a full valid driving license.

This post is subject to a Criminal Records Bureau Enhanced check.

This post is temporary up to August 2013.

Internal candidates who wish to apply for this position on a secondment basis must obtain approval prior to application using Form SEC1 (4.C.081). Requests may only be approved by the relevant Chief Officer or senior nominated officer graded no lower than OM2 or in the case of schools based staff the Headteacher / Governing Body.

This post is suitable for job share.

We welcome applications in both English and Welsh.

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Brighton's Incompetent Ker Farking Ching!

As loyal readers know, Nanny and her minions in her local councils love to find ways to charge the merry hell out of her "loyal" subjects/taxpayers.

The easiest method, favoured by councils, is that of parking charges.

Loyal readers with good memories (unsullied by drink and other substances) may well recall that in May I wrote of Brighton council's greedy plans to charge the hell out of visiting motorists along the seafront, by charging £20 per day for people parking along Madeira Drive.

Ker Farking Ching!

Anyhoo, all this greed is all very nice and dandy if the humble taxpayers actually pay the price and hand the money over.

However, there is a wee fly in Nanny's oinkment wrt charging people for parking in Brighton.

It seems that parking meters in Brighton and Hove do not accept new 5p and 10p coins, introduced at the beginning of 2012.

For why?

The council have not bothered telling the devices to take them.

To add to the parking fiasco, a mere 50 parking meters in Brighton accept card payments.

Well done lads!

Nanny's chums at the Treasury are unimpressed, an insider told The Argus (Brighton's local rag) that councils had been warned far in advance of the change and advised to re-calibrate their machines.

Quote:

“There is really no excuse.”

Brighton council are, of course, unrepentant:

“Our parking machines do not accept the new 5p and 10p coins. 

We took this into account when setting the new tariffs we’ve brought in, with the result that all our tariffs can now be paid without having to use the new coins. 

We have put notices on all our machines asking people not to use the new coins, and we will be replacing the redundant coin slots as and when individual machines need servicing. 

We’re also looking to make things easier for residents by introducing more cashless payment options for parking, such as by card or by phone, over the next year or so.”

My view is simple, if Nanny and her chums intend to screw us at least they should do it efficiently!

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Prats of The Week - The UKBA

'Tis a grey September Monday morning, and therefore an ideal time to award one of my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes to our old chums in the UK Border Agency (UKBA), an organisation that has already featured on this site a couple of times.

Why therefore am I awarding them a "Prats of The Week"?

Ask Professor John Tulloch (70), who appeared on the front pages as one of the bloodied, dazed victims of the 7/7 London bombings.

The Prince of Wales visited him in hospital afterwards, and proclaimed him an example of the “resilience of the British people”.

The Telegraph notes that Prof Tulloch can trace his British ancestry back to the 14th century, was born to British parents in a British colony. He has a British wife, children and brother. He was raised and educated in Britain from the age of three, has substantial assets and property here and has lived or worked in the UK for most of his life, holding a series of posts at British universities. He even held a British passport.

However, he was born to a British Army officer in pre-independence India. This makes him a “British subject without citizenship”.

Professor Tulloch took a job in Australia and was granted Australian citizenship. Unknown to him, this automatically cancelled both his British nationality and his right to live in Britain. 

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, when he applied to renew his British passport, it was confiscated.
Ironically he was able to return to the UK, where he has held a professorship of communications at Brunel and was head of the School of Journalism at Cardiff University, under a work permit and has spent the majority of his time in recent years in this country.

However, as he is about to semi retire, he has now been told by the UKBA that he can no longer permanently remain here and can only visit for brief periods as a tourist. He cannot apply for naturalisation.

Professor Tulloch would have more chance of staying here if he had been a perpetrator, rather than a victim, of terrorism. Just ask Ismail Abdurahman, a Somali convicted of providing a safe house for the would-be 21/7 bomber, Hussain Osman, who was excused deportation after serving his prison sentence on the grounds that his human rights would be at risk if he was returned to Somalia.

A UKBA is quoted:

“It is the responsibility of an individual to check that they will not lose a previously acquired nationality or citizenship on acquiring an additional one.” 

The UKBA, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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