Only Following Orders

How appropriate that on Remembrance Day, Nanny's minions fall back on a variation of that well worn phrase "I was merely following orders".

In Nanny's world the concept of there being a reasonable excuse for breaking her rules, and applying a little bit of common sense does not apply. So it was for the car owners, who temporarily parked their cars in Dispensary Walk Halifax this Sunday.

Nanny's ever so keen tax collectors, sorry I mean traffic wardens, were on patrol that morning and took no prisoners.

Drivers said that cars parked in Dispensary Walk were being issued with tickets during a two-minute silence to remember war dead at 1100 GMT on Sunday.

Malcolm Walker told BBC Radio Leeds he challenged a warden about the fines.

Quote:

"I said, do you not realise why

these cars are actually parked here?

They've come to remember the fallen.

I said, could you not just go round

the corner for five minutes and cut them some slack?

And the woman just actually said,

'A, I'm doing my job, and B,

I didn't even know there was a parade on'.

And I said 'could you not hear the bugles playing

and the band marching?'

And she just looked at me totally blank."

A spokesman for Calderdale Council ignored the point about it being a special event.

Quote:

"Residents living there are frequently

unable to park close to their own home

because of other motorists parking illegally

in their residents' parking area,

and this causes them a great deal of difficulty,

particularly if, for example,

they need to load or unload from their cars.

This is a regular ongoing problem for these residents,

not only a once a year event."

Rules are there to be enforced, no matter what the circumstances!

The Dangers of Seats

When is a seat dangerous?

When our old friends from the health and safety Gestapo tell you it is.

It seems that even a well designed, solid seat is dangerous in the eyes of the health and safety Gestapo if it is placed in a setting for which it is not "authorised".

Allow me to elucidate.

My local leisure club recently installed some new benches in the changing rooms. Without a shadow of a doubt these are utter crap.

-They are too small.

-They have no back, and as such are not suitable for chilling out on after exercise.

-They are uncomfortable.

-They are unstable, and wobble alarmingly when you sit on the.

Everyone in the club hates them!

As such I did my bit for humanity, and looked around on the web for something a little more suitable.

I came across a rather nice wooden bench that is solid, comfortable, reasonably priced and would withstand the day to day usage in the club. A picture of said bench is shown above.

I passed it on to the powers that be, confident in the knowledge that they would buy a couple and ditch the other benches.

Stupid, stupid me!

I hadn't bargained on the health and safety Gestapo.

The club will not be buying my suggested benches.

For why?

These are made by a garden furniture company, as such they are for the garden not a changing room.

The fact that a seat is a seat, is a seat does not matter to the health and safety Gestapo. What matters is that the seat must come from a leisure furniture manufacturer, not a garden furniture manufacturer.

The fact that the product is of good quality, ideal for the changing rooms, safe and perfectly serviceable/reliable does not come in to it.

Only products "authorised" by the health and safety Gestapo can be used, even though the current benches are unsafe/unstable and the ones I suggested are perfectly safe.

Another avenue of commonsense and freedom of choice closed off by the health and safety Gestapo.

By the way, this is the same club that banned fresh fruit this time last year on "health and safety" grounds.

I am thoroughly sick to death of the health and safety Gestapo.

Wasting Our Money

Nanny loves to spend money on her pet projects and ill thought out schemes, especially when its our money.

The National Audit Office (NAO) has issued a damning report on Nanny's pathfinder housing market renewal programme, launched in 2002 by our old friend the Smooth Talking Bar Steward.



The "plan" was designed to revive nine areas in the Midlands and the North of England, which had suffered long-standing deprivation.

Unfortunately, as with so many of Nanny's "plans", it was utter bollocks.

The NAO found that despite £2.2BN of OUR money being committed to the scheme, it could find no "causal" link between pathfinder activity and improvements in housing markets.

That's accountant/audit speak for saying that it didn't work.

Although conditions had improved in some neighbourhoods, in others it had led to increased stress in the short term.

Under the programme, 40,000 homes have been refurbished and 1,100 new homes built. About 10,200 properties have also been demolished. In a number of areas there has been opposition to demolition projects and the original plans to demolish 90,000 properties have been reduced to 57,100.

Sir John Bourn departing head of the NAO (who managed to spend a large sum of our money on his and his wife's personal "business" expenses...that's another story folks, which I will cover at a later date) said:

"Housing market renewal is a radical programme

but it is a high-risk approach.

While there have been physical improvements

in some neighbourhoods, it is unclear whether

intervention itself has led to improvement

in the problems of low demand.

And in some cases intervention has

exacerbated problems in the short-term."

Nanny doesn't get it:

• You cannot create demand, where there is none to be created.



• You cannot buck the market.



• You cannot force people to live in areas that they don't want to live in, unless of course you are a dictatorship.



• Throwing money at a problem does not work.

However, it's not Nanny's money and she doesn't give a fark!

The Law is An Arse

Can any please tell me how, in any right minded society, this absurd claim should be allowed to go anywhere near a sensible court?

Graham Hall, a convicted murderer who sexually assaulted his 76 year old victim as she lay dying after receiving over 50 stab wounds, is demanding £50K in compensation because he has had to "slop out" his prison toilet as a result of a breakdown in the plumbing.

In this odious little man's view, this experience is a breach of his human rights.

Hall has been given permission by a judge to sue The Ministry of Justice, and is thought to be receiving legal aid.

A Ministry of Justice source said:

"His case is a test case,

and if successful,

it will allow 40 other prisoners to make similar claims.

All prisoners have toilets which work properly

and there is no slopping out.

But if the night sanitation system fails,

they cannot be let out of their cells

because some of them are too dangerous.

When a toilet breaks down in a home in the UK,

people will use a bucket of water to slop out

until they can get it fixed.

They don't sue."

When people lose all respect for the law, society breaks down.

Those who the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad.

We must be truly mad!

Cold Calling

Those of you who have to endure the modern day pestilence of cold calling may enjoy this article, that I wrote today, about a particular company called Contact4 (click the link to read the article).

You will be pleased to know that I have forwarded it to the Treasury Select Committee, the Information Commissioner's Office and various financial journals, with the express recommendation that those who claim to regulate our financial markets do something about these companies.

Prats of The Week

It has been a while since I have awarded my prestigious, and much sought after, "Prats of The Week" Award. The time is now right to make another award.

This week it goes to my old friends at Croydon Council (I seem to recall awarding them this a while ago, once in August and once in June, something of a hat trick now).

Anyhoo, what have they been up to this time I hear you ask.

Well they have created an online site that is truly barking mad, and a complete waste of money.

The venerable citizens of my fine borough can now report a barking dog to the council online, yes that's right, online!

Just pop along to the special website (Report a Barking Dog), click on the location of the dog by entering co-ordinates or using the map, and Bob's your uncle!

You then have a number of pages to fill in; where you can attach pictures, log barking times etc etc.

A snoop's paradise!

Needless to say, I can guarantee that nothing of any consequence will happen. After all, will not the annoying mutt simply have moved on by the time the dog barking patrol arrives?

I would also venture to suggest that this is a very nice entree for the council to start other online "report your neighbour" sites eg; noisy neighbours, arguing neighbours, smelly neighbours the list is endless.

Nanny wants to encourage us all to start reporting on each other, a very dangerous road to travel.

Croydon Council, well deserving Prats of The Week

Those of you who would like to learn more about my borough, should visit:

-www.croydoniscrap.com

-www.catarena.org