Bin Bollocks

Kudos to a traffic warden in Carmarthen who recently displayed a good sense of humour.

The warden is being investigated after a parking ticket was placed on a wheelie bin. The warden was accused of "bizarre behaviour" by onlookers as the penalty charge notice was stuck on the bin which was on double yellow lines in Carmarthen.

However, all is not what it may appear. Carmarthenshire council said no ticket was inside the wrapper and the incident was a light-hearted moment.

Yet, and this I don't understand given that there was no ticket, the council is still looking into the warden's conduct.

Why?

This seems a simple matter of high jinks. Why is the council being so anal about it?

Maybe the council wanted to fine the bin and is annoyed that it can't!

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Ker Farking Ching! - Making Death Pay

As the old saying goes "the only certainty in life is death and taxes".

Kudos therefore to Nanny for finding a way of taxing even the dead, as per this story that was pointed out to me by a loyal reader.

Around 40 people attending a funeral service were somewhat "underwhelmed" when a traffic warden placed a parking ticket onto a funeral limousine outside St Saviours Church on Lewisham High Street.

The Sun claims that, when confronted, the traffic warden said:

“I am doing my job.”

Ah yes, that rather familiar refrain!

Funeral Director Nicki Dunphy said:

“Everyone is outraged. 

She brazenly put the ticket on the car when the family hadn’t even gone into the church. 

We, and other funeral directors, have to stop to unload coffins and to let grieving families exit the cars. 

There are funerals every week at St Saviours Church and dozens of other churches all over the borough and I’ve never heard of this happening before. 

People expect a bit of respect - this isn’t just a public car.”

Unsurprisingly, following a hoo hah, Nanny's chums from Lewisham council have since apologised:

“We apologise for any distress the issuing of this parking ticket has caused. 

Funeral hearses and limousines are exempt from parking restrictions and the Penalty Charge Notice should not have been issued. It has now been withdrawn.”

Proof positive that Nanny will try every trick in the book to raise money from her "loyal" subjects!

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Councils - Morons, Wardens, Misery

My thanks to a loyal reader who recently poiunted me to a gemusing story in the Shropshire Star about a verbal two fingers stuck up to Shropshire council by the owners of a former independent music shop, which was forced to close because  of high parking charges.

In a message placed in the shop window the other month, the owners said:

"Due to increasing costs, high rates, and the morons who make Shrewsbury’s parking policies and the wardens that enforce them making our customers lives a misery, we have decided to withdraw our business from the high street."

The majority of the message was removed on closure of the shop, except for three words:

- morons
- wardens
- misery

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Only Following Orders

How appropriate that on Remembrance Day, Nanny's minions fall back on a variation of that well worn phrase "I was merely following orders".

In Nanny's world the concept of there being a reasonable excuse for breaking her rules, and applying a little bit of common sense does not apply. So it was for the car owners, who temporarily parked their cars in Dispensary Walk Halifax this Sunday.

Nanny's ever so keen tax collectors, sorry I mean traffic wardens, were on patrol that morning and took no prisoners.

Drivers said that cars parked in Dispensary Walk were being issued with tickets during a two-minute silence to remember war dead at 1100 GMT on Sunday.

Malcolm Walker told BBC Radio Leeds he challenged a warden about the fines.

Quote:

"I said, do you not realise why

these cars are actually parked here?

They've come to remember the fallen.

I said, could you not just go round

the corner for five minutes and cut them some slack?

And the woman just actually said,

'A, I'm doing my job, and B,

I didn't even know there was a parade on'.

And I said 'could you not hear the bugles playing

and the band marching?'

And she just looked at me totally blank."

A spokesman for Calderdale Council ignored the point about it being a special event.

Quote:

"Residents living there are frequently

unable to park close to their own home

because of other motorists parking illegally

in their residents' parking area,

and this causes them a great deal of difficulty,

particularly if, for example,

they need to load or unload from their cars.

This is a regular ongoing problem for these residents,

not only a once a year event."

Rules are there to be enforced, no matter what the circumstances!

Drowning

Those of you who, having gone for a swim or who have fallen into water, find themselves in difficulties in water may find themselves in an even worse predicament in the future.

Nanny has decided that a policy of "you're on your own chum" is now to be implemented for water based "risk situations".

As such, Nanny's chums in the Devon and Cornwall Police have decreed that police officers in the region must not to hold out a hand to drowning swimmers in case they are pulled into the water themselves.

Errmmm...isn't that down to the individual police officer to make that judgement call, according to the circumstances and his/her capabilities in the water?

Clearly not!

The decree, quite unsurprisingly, comes in a health and safety policy document which says officers should also think twice before throwing a lifebelt.

You will recall that this policy of "you're on your own chum" has been tested in Greater Manchester, where two police community support officers did not enter a lake to try to save Jordon Lyon a ten-year-old boy from drowning. They were told their training had not equipped them with the skills to go in the water.

The document, Health And Safety - Water Safety - states:

"Devon and Cornwall Constabulary does not

expect or require any member of staff

to enter water in a rescue attempt of any

person or animal under any circumstances.

The task of rescuing members of the public

or animals from water lies primarily with

other emergency services that are equipped

and trained to undertake such tasks."

As if to add insult to injury, the health and safety Gestapo also decree that staff should not throw a lifebelt into the water, until they have completed a "dynamic risk assessment".

What utter BOLLOCKS!

But Graeme Hicks, a member of Devon and Cornwall Police Authority, thinks it's bollocks as well:

"It's quite unbelievable that a police officer

could walk past an incident like that and ignore it.

If a child drowned in Cornwall

in those circumstances

we would come under criticism and it

concerns me that there are

policies like this in place."

A spokesman for Devon and Cornwall Police said:

"No organisation can expect staff to risk their lives."

What planet does this guy live on?

Firemen, the armed forces, police officers, traffic wardens, the waiter who served me a tough steak the other week etc etc all risk their lives on a daily basis...that's what these jobs are about!

Raking It In

Nanny knows a good money raising tax scam when she sees one, and nothing is more lucrative to her cronies in our "respected" local councils than parking fines.

My fine home town of Croydon illustrates this point rather well. Local motorists have been complaining for months that Croydon's traffic wardens have become more ruthless than ever before.

Statistics confirm what has long been believed, by those on the receiving ends of fines, that the number of parking tickets issued in the borough is soaring.

A humongous 21,300 extra fines were issued to drivers in Croydon in the 2006/7 financial year compared to 2005/6.

The increase of 25%, from 86,500 to 107,800, included fines to Debbie Morrison who, being pregnant, walked too slowly to her car and Aimee Green who was fined for putting too much money in the meter.

A nice little tax scam indeed!

It's a Tax Stupid!

Our dearly "beloved" councils know that they are on to a good thing when it comes to using parking fines to raise revenue by the back door.

They know that given the right incentives, their army of jobsworth traffic wardens will go out issuing tickets and clamping anything that doesn't have a pulse. However, it is always amusing when the local council's schemes are found out and challenged.

Here is a nice example that happened in my home town of Croydon

Aimee Green did not have change when she parked in the Lion Green car park in Coulsdon (part of Croydon), so she paid £1 for her 80p ticket.

On returning to her car 15 minutes later she saw a traffic warden giving her a parking ticket.

She pointed out that she had more than an hour of two hours remaining.

The jobsworth retorted that she was parking illegally, because she didn't put exactly 80p in the machine.

Jobsworth, as quoted by Ms Green:

"Look at the sign, it says 80p.

You put in £1, look at the sign."

He reasoned that he didn't know when it was bought. Therefore, in an attempt to prove she was right, Ms Green put another pound into the meter and showed the warden that the ticket was valid for exactly two hours.

Quote:

"He said he did not believe me

and I had received the fine because

I had paid for more time than I was allowed."

On being challenged, Croydon Council have cancelled the fine and "spoken to" the warden.

Fair enough, the trouble is that the current system whereby fines are diverted into the revenue streams of local councils is just too tempting for them not to be able to resist "taking a dip" and encouraging their jobsworths to fine anything that moves (or rather doesn't move).

A penalty that is used in effect as a tax, thereby tempting the local authorities to maximise revenues from penalties, is a recipe for trouble.

Trouble is now exactly what they have got, and rightly so!

Two Fingers To Nanny

There has been some recent news in the fight against Nanny that is, for once, reasonably encouraging.

I have long suspected that the "enthusiasm" with which some parking wardens affix parking tickets is not driven by a sense of duty, but more the sense of greed of the local councils who insentivise the warden to milk the cash cow of the car owners dry.

I also suspect that I am not alone in thinking this, after all the Nanny state is an expensive beast to maintain; Nanny has to find ever more dubious methods to raise revenue, as her personal expenses rise ever skywards.

Anyhoo, High Court judges recently ruled that businessman Simeon Ademolake does not have to pay a £50 fine, because the warden had not placed the ticket on his car before he drove off.

Mr Ademolake has spent two years fighting this case. The ruling means that many others may now be entitled to claim back their parking fines.

Mr Ademolake said:

"This was an important point of principle.

Parking wardens cannot break the law.

They'll now think twice about illegally putting tickets on cars.

The system has been driven by raising cash,

not keeping roads clear. And that's wrong.

They act as if motorists are breaking the law.

But it is they who are in the wrong."

Motoring groups have stated that many tickets are issued as drivers return to their cars to find a warden writing out the ticket, yet they still issue the ticket even though the motorist drives off before it is fully written out and placed on the vehicle.

Mr Ademolake received the £50 fine through the post, after he stopped his car briefly on a red route on Commercial Road in London's Whitechapel in June 2005.

He disputed the charge and took it to the independent adjudicator, the Parking and Traffic Appeals Service.

It ruled in his favour, after he explained that the warden had not issued a ticket by placing it on the car or handing it to him.

However, Transport for London chose to ignore this and refused to abide by the adjudication. They chose to contest it in the High Court, which rejected its case.

Mr Ademolake said:

"I was actually parked in a loading bay,

but one of my rear wheels was on a red line.

I had only popped into a shop for five minutes

and when I came out I apologised to the warden.

I could see he hadn't started writing the ticket

so I said I would move the car and got in.

He said he had to give me a ticket,

but I knew I was within my rights and drove off.

The adjudicators said I was in the right

because I hadn't tried to obstruct the warden

or prevent him from doing his job.

Transport for London have wasted a lot of time

and money appealing this when they knew they were wrong."

Transport for London said:

"We issued this penalty notice in good faith

following a contravention on a red route

and will be closely reviewing the details of the judgment."

The case means that wardens will now have to put the ticket on the car, or hand it to the driver, for it to be valid.

The number of parking tickets issued rose by nearly 20% last year, to a record high of more than 3.4 million.

The rise is driven by Nanny's councils milking the motorist, after taking over responsibility for parking enforcement from the police.

As I have often asked before; what precisely do local councils add to their communities other than red tape, mind numbing obstinacy and increased taxes?

Highway Robbery

As we all know Nanny's rules and regulations are very expensive for her to implement, monitor and enforce. As such, she has to make ever increasing demands on her subjects (us) by way of increased taxes.

Unfortunately, even the current tax take is not enough to satisfy Nanny's insatiable demand for cash. Therefore she has to resort to illegal and underhand means to find new sources of revenue.

Nasser Khan was on the receiving end of one of Nanny's scams the other day. He had parked his car on a space between some yellow lines, on Chapel Street Salford, and was shocked shocked when he returned to his car to find that he had a parking ticket.

Given that he had parked on a gap between the yellow (no parking) lines, how could this be possible?

Easy!

Nanny had the lines pained UNDERNEATH his car whilst he was away.

You see how easy it is folks?

All Nanny has to do is to change the rules, to fit her needs, as she goes along.

No wonder the people of Britain have utter contempt for the government and local councils.

Once the lackeys of Nanny's local council had painted the yellow lines underneath Mr Khan's car, Nanny's tax collector on legs (a traffic warden) gave him a ticket.

Mr Khan said:

"It was just a feeling of disbelief and amazement.

I thought it was a joke.

I am going to write a letter and tell them what I think."

Mr Khan also noted that the machinery used to mark the line had melted part of his tyres, costing him £550 for a new set and over £40 on a taxi to and from his home in Rochdale to work the next day.

A council lackey said:

"It looks like contractors acting for United Utilities

have been creative in completing this job as promptly as they could.

The driver concerned needs to write to us explaining the circumstances,

and we will look into it.

Clearly, if the account is accurate,

then we could not be legally able to enforce this ticket."

Can you hear the tone in this lackey's voice?

They are not sorry that the lines were painted, and a ticket falsely issued, but they are sorry that they can't "legally" enforce the fine!

That speaks volumes about their attitude towards us and the law.

Tell me, does anyone trust or respect local councils anymore?

I don't!

A Nice Little Earner

Taxes are Nanny's life blood, without the money that her taxes bring in she would not be able to employ the number of people that she does to interfere in our daily lives and habits.

However, as we all know, Nanny and her apparatus of state is a very expensive beast to run. The taxes that she raises from us simply are not enough to fund her ever growing legions of busybodies and bureaucrats. Therefore, Nanny has to come up with ever more ingenious ways of raising revenue.

This particular trick of hers is a winner.

Motorists were legally parked a few days ago along Great Peter Street, in central London, close to a protest organised by Christian Aid against the policies of the World Bank.

Nanny's police decided to seal off both ends of street, to allow the 2,000 marchers to pass along Whitehall. However, the cordon caused delays for drivers whose permits expired before police lifted the barriers.

Can you guess what Nanny did?

Yes, that's right, Nanny's traffic wardens fined the motorists!

One of the fined motorists, Lewis Whyld, said:

"The police blocked the road off at both ends for safety reasons.

Everyone left their cars where they were

and waited for police to open the street.

Then the traffic wardens ran in and gave people tickets.

It wasn't just the fact that they were giving everyone tickets

during the road block,

it was the fact that they were laughing about it as well."

Nanny's chums in Westminster Council claim that the matter is being looked into.

Quote:

"We are happy for people who feel aggrieved about their parking tickets to challenge them."

Common sense of course would have suggested that the tickets should not have been issued in the first place.

Common sense is not part of Nanny's vocabulary.

Easy money isn't?

Prats of The Week

This week's prestigious Prat of The Week Award goes to the good people of Camden Council, or rather their parking control department (or whatever they choose to call it).

I am sure that the hapless driver of a Meyers of Stratford lorry will agree with this award, as he encountered a jobsworth prat from the council in Belsize Park the other week.

The driver was travelling along a road, weakened by water from a burst main below. Then the front wheel of his truck had got stuck, axle deep, in a hole after the road collapsed beneath the vehicle.

Needless to say, the responsibility for maintaining the roads lies with the council...so you might suggest that it was their fault.

Anyhoo, the driver the tried to shift his trapped truck. At this point a jobsworth traffic warden turned up. The good lady from the legion of wardens did what she does best, instead of helping, she provided the hapless driver with a ticket.

Rather like an old Laurel and Hardy film, a small crowd of astonished onlookers gathered to watch the "comedy" show. The driver tried in vain to explain his predicament. However, the jobsworth warden just shrugged and told him he could appeal against the fine.

Sue Melkman, a resident, said:

"It's crazy.

There was water everywhere.

It was obvious what had happened but she still wrote the ticket.

She wouldn't engage in conversation.

All she would say was, 'You can appeal'.

It's the daftest decision.

How can you give a ticket to someone who's stuck in a hole?

The woman must live in a parallel universe.

It's so ridiculous.

Everyone was laughing at her

and a few were taking pictures on their phones.

I told her she'd be a laughing stock

and it would be in the local paper but she didn't reply.

She just wrote the ticket and off she went.

The poor driver tried to reason with her,

but what can you do?

If they're going to write a ticket they just do it.

He took it very philosophically."

The incident was sparked by decision from the ever respected and useful Thames Water (who leak a gazillion gallons of water every day). Dear old Thames Water had decided not to put cones around the bulging, cracked patch of road after inspecting it the previous day.

By the way, the German owners of Thames Water have decided to sell it; any takers?

One resident of the street said:

"It was really the water board's fault.

A water main burst outside my house at about 7.30pm on Thursday evening,

and at about 10 o'clock Thames Water came along to see what was happening.

I saw them with some cones in their hands,

but then they put them back in their van.

The road was bulging and cracks were appearing.

There's a fire station nearby

and I was worried the road might collapse if a fire engine went over it

but the engineers said it was fine

and they would be back to fix it the next day.

Then at 7.30 next morning a lorry came to collect a skip from my neighbour

and he just sank down into the road to his axle.

They came to fix the water main in the middle of it all

but couldn't because the lorry was on top of it."

Sounds like Thames Water also deserve the Prat of The Week award.

Meyers of Stratford said:

"Camden Council said we can appeal

but what a waste of everyone's time.

Now we've got to write the letters and send off the forms.

It was absolutely obvious why the truck was there

but she still fined us.

It makes you sick."

Nanny makes us all sick.

Her rules, red tape and indifference are designed to beat us into submission.

Anyhoo, congratulations to Camden Council for winning this prestigious award.

Feel free to email them via this link Camden Council, to tell them that they have won.