Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Mea Culpa III

I have mixed news to report about the no smoking signs in our lift.

One of the four has now been removed, that still leaves three!

However, on the plus side, there has been no attempt to erect (can I say "erect"?) signs telling people not to murder each other, rob each other or commit any other crimes.

I guess that means our lift counts as a form of "legal hyperspace"; where normal laws do not apply, except for the "no smoking" rule?

I also noted that in our gardens yesterday, there was a bloke sitting on one of our benches playing a mouth organ (can I say "organ"?).

This of course is a clear breach of Nanny's rules re public performances requiring a licence.

Another person was observed having a crafty fag behind the garage block.

Clearly my apartment block is home to some very dangerous elements.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Let's Get Dirty II

Let's Get Dirty IIOh dear, following on from my recent article about dirt and the alleged increase in "allergies", it seems that Nanny is taking her crusade for "cleanliness" another step further...except that is in the one place that it actually matters; namely hospitals!

Leisure centres in some parts of the country have now stopped providing armbands and rubber rings.

For why?

It seems that there is a clear and present danger (in Nanny's mind) of people catching germs while blowing them up.

Swimming pool managers in Bournemouth have introduced the measure, because they say that a full-time member of staff would be needed to ensure stringent guidelines were obeyed. These include a new cleansing programme, a daily inspection for punctures and the drawing up of instructions for staff on how to deal with inflatable-related issues.

A policy to ensure armbands of the right size were issued would also be needed, staff say, because of the rules laid down by the Institute of Sport and Recreation Management. Parents will be able to bring inflatables, but staff can not hand them out. The decision came after an auditor noticed the institute's rules were not being followed.

What complete and utter bollocks!

Geoff Messenger, the leisure marketing manager for Bournemouth Borough Council's swimming pools, said:

"It was just about being nice to the customers

who had forgotten to bring armbands for their children.

We wanted to help them out,

rather than make them buy a new pair,

but the regulations make it too difficult

A spokesman for the institute said:

"If you are lending out armbands you have

got a duty of care and you have to

make sure they are fit for purpose.

Our guidelines are not binding at all.

People have to measure their own

policy against our guidance

Little men enjoying their little power!

The fact that these rings etc, especially for children, provide a rather useful means of minimising the risks of people drowning seems to have escaped Nanny.

How risky is it that people will catch bugs from blowing up rings?

Are we in the middle of a plague outbreak?

Can't people simply rinse the mouthpieces in the chlorinated water?

As to the bugs and contents of swimming pools, that is best left undiscussed.

Children eat and live in utter filth of their own making, that's what builds their strength, a few bugs on mouthpieces will do them no harm whatsoever.

In short this ban is utter bollocks!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Mea Culpa II

Mea Culpa IIOh dear another confession concerning the no smoking signs in our lift.

It seems that not only are there four in the lift, but others outside of it as well, plus three in our car park telling people not to smoke.

I have failed in my duty to watch my own backyard!


Friday, July 27, 2007

Mea Culpa

Mea CulpaLadies and Gentlemen,

I have a confession to make...

Whilst trying to safeguard the rest of the UK from the encroachment of Nanny, I have neglected my own doorstep so to speak.

I wear many hats in life, one of them is director of our apartment block management company.

Imagine my surprise yesterday when on entering our lift, I allowed my eyes to wander around the walls; and realised that, over the past month, the number of notices in the lift telling you not to smoke had increased from one to four!

For farks sake!

How absurd is that?

How the hell did that happen on my watch?

Needless to say, I will be rectifying this ASAP.

Sorry about that lamentable lack of attention, it won't happen again.


Thursday, July 26, 2007

Gordon Brown

Why does Brown look so ill?

Answers on a postcard please.

Prats of The Week

Prats of The WeekCongratulations to Durham City Council, for winning this week's prestigious "Prats of The Week" award. It seems that in the main only councils ever win this award these days, that says a lot about the "quality" of lour local councils.

Anyhoo, Durham City Council have decided that a local businessman's choice of name for his business is racist and would cause offence.

Fair enough, maybe....

Except for one small fly, well actually some very large elephants, in their oinkment.

-The business is a Chinese restaurant

-The name of the business is the Fat Buddha

-The owner of the business is Chinese

-The owner of the business is in fact Buddhist.

Eddie Fung will open a £1.3M in Durham next month, creating 60 jobs.

Not so fast Mr had reckoned without the local council screwing things up.

Cue stage left, Tracey Ingle, the city council's head of cultural services.

Ingle has demanded that Mr Fung change the name because it was "provocative".

Mr Fung quite rightly thinks that the council is talking bollocks:

"I cannot believe that this woman

should go to so much time and trouble

to take issue over an inoffensive name like Fat Buddha.

No Buddhist is going to be offended by this.

The fat Buddha is a symbol of health and happiness.

It is political correctness gone mad

A spokesman for the Buddhist Society weighed in, also with the view that Ingle was talking bollocks:

"Buddhists regard the fat Buddha as lucky.

To suggest this is offensive is to misunderstand the faith.

Buddhists don't take offence at anything

because to do so doesn't follow Buddhist teachings

Ingle wrote to Mr Fung:

"To use the name of a major religion's deity

in your restaurant brand runs contrary to

this city's reputation as a place of equality

and respect for others' views and religious beliefs.

The generic descriptive adjective of "fat"

is not in itself a derogatory term when applied

generally the name implies an Eastern offer [sic]

as it is associated with a religion that

grew from Asian countries.

It does not, however, offer vegetarian

cuisine solely nor does it refer to Buddhist belief systems.

The name is provocative

What the fark is this woman talking about???

Durham City Council came to her defence:

"The department felt the name was inappropriate

in a city founded on faith.

We don't want to offend anyone because

of the different faiths that come to the city.

The council operates a strict non-discriminatory

equal-opportunities and diversity policy across the board

Who gave the council the right to dictate to people in this manner in the first place??

Councils need to be put very firmly and quickly back in their place by the people; they have grown far too cocky (can I use the word cocky here?).

Ingle dug herself further into the sh*t:

"I stand by the letter,

which asked the restaurant owners to rename the place.

That is where we are now.

We have taken every reasonable step

and I have contacted the company director

and set out my concerns.

The restaurant is in a very prominent

position and it does have an impact

on the reputation of the city.

I have expressed a view as head of cultural

services in dealing with the culture of the city

Errmmm it simply is not the council's place to dictate to people in this manner.

The Buddhists are not offended.

White middle class do gooders should keep their farking noses out of matters that they don't understand.

Durham City Council and Ingle, well deserving "Prats of The Week".

BTW Ingle actually keeps a blog (not very up to date), but feel free to pop over and post a few messages; it looks like she could do with some.

-Ingle's Blog

Feel free to drop Durham City Council a line, to tell them that they have won the award, via this link Prats.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Ashes To Ashes

Nanny manages to interfere in people's lives, even when they are dead.

We had wanted to scatter Dad's ashes at sea, that seemingly simple task requires an environmentally friendly urn and permission from some government organ.

Plan B was to scatter them on the Thames, again this requires the use of an environmental urn that biodegrades in a friendly manner. Fine, until my mother fractured her pelvis, which made the boarding of the Thames cruise boat all but impossible for her.

Plan C is to scatter them on his parents' grave, again seemingly we need permission of the cemetery.


Off subject I know, but those of you with Yahoo mail accounts or who have contacts with Yahoo mail will find this to be of interest.

Yahoo Mail Worse Than Worthless


In Nanny's world councils have been given, or shall we say believe that they have been given, a hell of a lot of power over us.

Now, as we all know, power can corrupt; it would seem that one of Nanny's "respected" local councils has found that to its cost.

Manchester City Council has recently been admonished by the Local Government Ombudsman for an "abuse of power of nightmarish proportions", having given a woman an Anti Social Behaviour order (Asbo) based on false allegations made against her. As such, the council will pay £2K in compensation to the woman.

Council officers were called in, in June 2004, when a woman known as Miss A complained she was being subjected to anti-social behaviour by her neighbour, Mrs X.

Miss A claimed that as a result of the behaviour, which she alleged included threats of violence, intimidation, verbal abuse and playing music too loudly, she had become ill.

However, the report revealed there were no attempts to corroborate the claims with either neighbours or the police.

Mrs X was only made aware of the allegations when she was served court papers for a hearing in December 2004, which led to an interim Asbo being granted.

She contested the decision and more than 20 letters were written in her defence, leading to the Asbo being withdrawn, in court, three months later.

Ombudsman Jerry White said:

"It is extraordinary that the allegations

were never put to Mrs X before the council

sought an Asbo against her, at first behind

her back and then by serving papers on her

just days before a court hearing.

It is extraordinary too that it never

sought corroboratory evidence from third parties.

This was an abuse of nightmarish proportions

The council was found guilty of maladministration, and told it should review the way in which cases like these are handled.

Deborah McLaughlin, council director of housing, said:

"We have learnt lessons from the way we dealt

with Mrs X in 2004.

In 2005 we fully reviewed our procedures

Then she went on to more or less claim that they did everything by the book, which kind of undermines her apology:

"we should also point out that our initial

application for an anti-social order was

confirmed by the court in the face of

convincing evidence and was not something

carried out in isolation by our officers

Seems to me that she is disputing the Ombudsman's ruling.

That's the trouble with acting as judge, jury and executioner; it just leads to trouble in the end.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Let's Get Dirty

Let's Get DirtyIt seems that living in our sanitised and sterile Nanny cocoon is in fact rather bad for us.

There has, over the past 30 years or so, been a steady rise in the number of people claiming that they are allergic to all manner of things, from housemites to nuts.

Needless to say some of these claims are in fact hysterical BS, caused by the modern cultural fad for looking for reasons to excuse laziness, idleness, bad parenting and fussiness with food.

However, there has also been a rise in the number of people with genuine allergies.

Epidemiologists are theorising that the benefits of modern life, such as mains water supply, improved drainage and the greater cleanliness that is now de rigeur has caused us to become weaker when it comes to our responses to outside stimuli such as mites, animals, dust and nuts.

In Eastern Europe people continue to live in close proximity to animals, as such the incidence of the common forms of allergy remain low.

It seems we have become far too clean.

The irony being that the one area which should be 100% spotless, namely hospitals, Nanny has allowed to become absolutely filthy.

Funny that, isn't it?

Anyhoo, the lesson is clear; let's get dirty!

Sunday, July 22, 2007


I see that our old chums in Crapita are mentioned in the cash for honours reports.

"Rod Aldridge, former executive chairman of Capita

..were all on an internal Downing Street peerages list

Source The Times

Friday, July 20, 2007

Burke and Hare II

Burke and HareI am pleased to see that yesterday's article, about our substance abusing chums in the butchers' profession, has provoked some good "intercourse".

Sad to say, but the butchers forget that preserving life is not just about keeping the body functioning in perpetuity; it is also about the quality of life.

What purpose does it serve to be a "living" corpse (see Edgar Alan Poe's "The Facts in the Case of M. Valdimar") if you are senile, attached to a machine and your dignity long since taken away from you by the state or the substance abusing butchers and their minions? (Catholic church and other cults should take note of that!).

My father well understood that, and refused treatment for his cancer; he managed to die with dignity, at home, without being plugged into a machine and without being in pain.

I would also mention a fine old lady who I had the privilege to know, when I was a youngster (yes folks, I was young once:)), and acted as an honorary granny.

She was a district nurse (1920's to I guess 1950's), who by the way delivered my father, she spent many nights sitting by the bedsides of those who were dying; ensuring that they died with dignity.

She never feared death (something that our weak coddled youth obsessed society seems to do); noting that having seen so many die, that it was merely a matter of going to sleep. In those days the butchers couldn't keep the body going beyond its proper time!

She died in her 80's (1979) in her own home, sitting in her chair one evening; all very peaceful, and all very dignified.

As to the various comments about what to do with your body post demise, eg being made into a diamond, I refer you to this:

"I have spent the first forty years of my life eating good food and drinking fine wines, ales and spirits; I fully intend to continue in the same vein over the next forty, or so, years. However, when I do finally "pop my clogs" I would like to be made into a pate which would be served at my wake. That way my friends will be able to relive the culinary experiences of my life. Should you not wish to wait that long, then may I suggest that you read on."


Why none other than my own book, "Accountants Can Cook".

Unlike Harry Potter, feel free to download it for free!


Thursday, July 19, 2007

Burke and Hare

Burke and HareHow refreshing that Nanny's chums in the medical profession have not forgotten their history and are invoking the actions of their old time help mates, Burke and Hare, in addressing the so called "organ crisis" in the NHS.

Sir Liam Donaldson, Nanny's chief medical officer, has claimed that presumed consent is the only way to combat Britain's transplant crisis, where many die on the waiting list for an organ.

Sir Liam said the NHS needed three times the number of organ donors on its register.

Sir Liam said:

"There are simply not enough organs

donated to meet the need for transplant,

with one person dying every day while waiting

for a transplant.

Compounding this are issues surrounding consent,

which often reduces this number further

To meet demand for organs, the number of people on the NHS donor register would need to treble, Sir Liam said.

Here's the rub!

"I believe we can only do this through

changing the legislation to an opt-out system

with proper regulation and safeguards

Proper safeguards!


Who seriously trusts the state, or the "managers" of our health care system, not to twist the safeguards to meet their NHS targets?

It is funny how those in the medical profession sometimes take it upon themselves to make pronouncements about matters legal, when it is not in their remit at all.

Aside from the incessant braying from our substance abusing chums in the butchers' (sorry, medical) profession about banning smoking, banning booze, banning fat and other of life's little pleasures; they now take it upon themselves to ignore the fact that we own our organs individually...they are not owned by the state.

Any attempt by the state, or butchers' profession, to take organs without prior express consent would in fact be theft.

However, that "small" point of law seems to have escaped our substance abusing chums...just as it did Burke and Hare all those years ago.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007



Buy the T shirt and thong at

Nanny Bans Fat

Fry Up

Oh dear, whilst the mice are away the pussy must play, or something like that anyway.

I see that during the NKB staff holiday in Barcelona, Nanny's chums in some "health lobby group" are pressing Nanny to tax fatty foods.


Fat is good!

1 Like the engine of the car, the human body needs lubrication for the blood to flow around its many organs etc. Fat is an ideal lubricant, thus enabling the blood to flow without hindrance or obstruction.

2 Many foods taste like shit if they are denuded of fat; eg sirloin steaks, pork, goose, foie gras, milk, butter, cheese etc.

Fat tastes Great

3 Sensible balanced diets won't kill you, fat is an important part of sensible balanced diets.

4 Fat is an importamt source of calorific energy.

5 Fats are good for you; eg cheese, butter, milk.

Ken aged 186 I drank 3 pints of milk a day as a did me no harm.

7 Taxing fat would mean that foods such as butter, milk and cheese (all good for you) would be priced out of some people's shopping baskets.

8 Taxing fat would be a regressive tax, adversely affecting the living standards of those less well off.

9 How about the carrot approach for once? Why not reduce the tax on non fat foods...if Nanny is so worried about our health?

10 Many MPs, doctors and other "health professionals" are unfit, overweight, substance abusers...who are they to tell us what we may or may not eat.

In short, Nanny can keep her hands off our fat!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Thames Water Is Shite

I am proud to announce the birth of new website.

Thames Water Is Shite

Anyone with any stories about Thames Water, or who know people with stories about Thames water, please send them in.



Monday, July 16, 2007

Gasping For a Fag IV

Meat is Good
A Tall Ship
In Between Fags
Ready For Action
The Nanny Knows Best team returned from staff holiday in Barcelona last night; an excellent time was had by all.

I am happy to report that, aside from the fact it was sunny everyday, Spain still allows its citizens to smoke with gusto!

One almost could consider forgoing the pleasures of living on our damp, overcrowded rainy little island.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Nanny Bans Hugging

Nanny Bans HuggingIn Nanny's world, human contact is frowned upon as it may distract people from their devotions to Nanny.

Remember this mantra:

Nanny is Mother Nanny is Father

As such it should come as no surprise to learn that one of Nanny's schools has decided that hugging is evil, and has banned it.

Mossbourne Academy in Hackney has banned pupils from engaging in physical contact with classmates.

Head teacher Sir Michael Wilshaw said pupils had been asked to be "sensible" about greeting one another.

He said it was to ensure accusations of people touching each other inappropriately could not be made.

Sir Michael said:

"Most physical contact between pupils is

totally innocent but on occasions it is not.

We don't want staff being drawn into

dealing with accusations of

inappropriate behaviour

Pupils who flout the rules will be punished by detention.

That sends a very interesting message doesn't it? Human contact is wrong...

I wonder what kind of "well adjusted" sociopaths this school will produce then?

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Nanny Bans Booze

Nanny Bans BoozeHaving banned fags, Nanny is now intent on banning life's other little pleasures.

Don't believe me?

Well, doctors are calling for the nationwide adoption of bylaws banning people from drinking in the streets.

The British Medical Association (BMA) wants to see them used much more widely.

Given the fact that many doctors are prolific boozers, smokers and substance abusers I find their attitude to be somewhat hypocritical.

I would also note that not everyone in the "street" is a drunken bum.

Some, for instance, are pub drinkers merely standing outside the pub.

What about picnics?

Want to bet our "beloved" interfering local councils ban those as well?

I warned you this would happen...thin end of a very large wedge is being inserted (I won't say where).

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Big Brother

You know how Nanny keeps telling us that all these CCTV cameras that she has erected (can I say erected?) are all for our own good, and that we have nothing to worry about?

May I suggest that you don't go to Cardiff Bay in Wales then.

It seems that householders in Cardiff Bay have been spied on by security guards, using the National Assembly's high-powered cameras.

Five guards were caught using closed-circuit cameras to watch people in their homes and hotel rooms.

However, and here is the really "odd" thing, none of the security guards who are employed by the National Assembly was fired.

Errmmmm...shouldn't they have Been?

Doesn't this rather say something about Nanny's attitude to our personal privacy etc?

Needless to say, The Assembly initially refused to comment on the scandal when it was revealed by a local paper - the Echo.

It needed to use of the Freedom of Information laws to force the Assembly to confirm the five had been caught "turning the cameras towards private dwellings".

Tory AM Jonathan Morgan said:

"This is absolutely disgraceful.

I would expect people in these circumstances

to have been sacked as opposed to have

been given a warning. There could certainly

be recourse under civil proceedings

under the Human Rights Act.

The police should have been called

in immediately. The privileges of MI5 or

M16 to spy on people do not extend to

security guards in Cardiff Bay.

Those people who had been spied

upon should have been informed

Nanny doesn't give a stuff!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

A Nice Little Earner

Aha now we know why Nanny is so keen on speed cameras.

Not for our's the money stupid!

It seems that the Treasury took more than £15M from the fines paid by drivers caught by speed cameras in England and Wales in 2005/2006.

Government spokesman in the House of Lords, Lord Bassam, said receipts from fines totalled more than £114.6M.

Some £99.5M of that was "directly attributed to the prevention, detection and enforcement of offences".

The surplus?

Guess where that went?

To the Treasury.

Lord Bassam says that the "sole purpose of speed cameras is casualty reduction".


Monday, July 09, 2007


EducashunHave exams been dumbed down?

Nanny would have you believe not, in her view the increase in pass rates is due to her excellent educashunal policies and the genius of those who take the exams.

Errrmmm maybe not...

It seems that there is to be a new top A-level grade, the A*, which will mark out the highest flyers, and will require marks of at least 90%.

For why?

Simple, there is an increasing number of A grades being awarded each year.

The A* is intended to highlight the best candidates, without altering the standards required for the existing five A-level grades.

The government agrees with the QCA exams watchdog the grade boundary should be 90%.

The Qualifications and Curriculum Authority (QCA) had recommended that this new top-level grade should be reserved for students who had an aggregate score of at least 90% across the units of their A-level.

It seems that grade inflation is the reason for this new grade, around 25% of those who take the exams now achieve an A grade; this has made the selection process more difficult for university admissions officers.

John Dunford, general secretary of the Association of School and College Leaders, opposes the higher grade.

"I regret the introduction of A*

since it has the potential to

make a grade A second best


1 We are not all the same intellectually

2 There are only a limited number of top jobs (eg nuclear physicist, brain surgeon) available

3 Only the best should be selected for these jobs

4 We cannot all be nuclear physicists

Like it or not, some people are less bright than others.

Friday, July 06, 2007


EducashunNanny has still something of a chip on her shoulder when it comes to mixing money and educashun, money from the private sector is somewhat frowned upon.

How very silly of her.

Anyhoo, it came to pass that Goldman Sachs (the US investment bank) had offered £2M to sponsor a city academy in Tower Hamlets, London's poorest borough.

Can you guess what the good councillors of Tower Hamlets said?

Yes, that's right!

They said NO.

The Labour controlled council announced that it did not want the money, and claimed that it already offered "schools that parents want".

Clearly the councillors are not as aware of the "quality" of educashun in their "beloved" borough as they should be. Tower Hamlets GCSE results, including maths and English, are well below the national average.

Schools Minister Andrew Adonis said:

"I am deeply disappointed that Tower Hamlets

have turned down excellent offers of sponsorship

for academies, which is depriving young people

of fantastic opportunities which otherwise

would have been available to them

Lord Adonis forgets one important rule in the thinkinbg of councils such as Tower Hamlets, it's not the quality of educashun that matters but the politics!

Anyone care to tell me why councils such as Tower Hamlets should be allowed to exist???

Nanny Bans Sarnies

Nanny Bans SarniesWell it had to happen, not content with moaning about salt, sugar, name it...Nanny has launched a withering tirade on the humble sarnie (sandwich for the non Brits reading this).

It seems that some sort of test, doubtless very "scientific", was carried out by some sort of "interested" group (ie partisan, anti salt) into the salt contents of a range of sandwiches.

Shock horror....

They found that sandwiches contain salt.

Well of course they farking do...salt adds flavour...nit wits!

Anyhoo, the worst offender on the range of sarnies that were tested was the Pret A Manger "All Day Breakfast" (note Pret and I have some issues re their Heathrow outlet). Seemingly this evil sarnie contains the salt equivalent of a Siberian salt mine, or 7 bags of crisps (and we all know how much Nanny hates crisps, don't we children?).

The astute amongst you may observe the title of the evil sarnie..."All Day Breakfast".

In other words it contains; bacon, sausage, egg, tomato etc...therefore of course it is going to be salty, and hardly likely to be chosen on a daily basis by someone on a diet who is concerned about all matters of health.

It's a treat, not a way of life.

The trouble with Nanny is that she refuses to distinguish between a one off indulgence, and a thrice daily ritual. All Nanny wants to do is to remove every last vestige of pleasure from our lives, and make the world a drab grey place.

As to the salt content of the I give a fark?

No I don't.

My suggestion is that we all stick two fingers up to Nanny and go and buy as many of these evil sarnies as possible (but I don't like Pret!), therefore make your own...and remember to add lots of salt for added flavour.

Nanny really needs to get a life!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

You've Had Your Chips

You've Had Your ChipsOh dear, there really are some prissy people in some (Hah!...let's be clear...ALL) of our local councils.

It seems that in the Royal Borough of Maidenhead, there is something of a row going on about the opening of a fish and chip shop in Clifford Crescent.

A relatively harmless enough business venture, one would have thought?

Not if you are a Liberal Democrat.

Councillor Humaira Jared (Liberal Democrat) is against the shop.

For why?

Chip shops, according to the councillor, encourage rats, obesity in children and risk an increase in anti-social activities.

What a load of bollocks!

Isn't it funny how that party more often than not seeks to curtail individual freedoms and liberties, hardly very liberal or democratic is it?

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Awards Nominations

The Witanagemot Club Political Blogging Awards are open for you to nominate your favourite blogs.


Please nominate this one:)

Nominate via this link Witanagemot



Gasping For a Fag III

Gasping For a Fag IIIHeh heh:)

I see that the recent articles here about Nanny's smoking ban have produced some rather entertaining, and well observed, comments.

Keep it up!

In the spirit of sticking two fingers up to Nanny, and doing my best to thwart (now there's a word I haven't used for a while) her evil plans for subjugating us, I believe that I may have come up with a means of circumnavigating the smoking ban.

It seems that cruise ships are exempt from the smoking ban, thanks to a mixture of laws and customs.

Ships registered in Britain, such as the QE2, come under the Merchant Shipping Act which overrides the smoking regulations. Therefore on the QE2 you are still able to have a fag.

What has this got to do with circumnavigating the smoking ban?

I will tell you.

Pubs and clubs in England/Wales that still want to allow smoking should register themselves as cruise ships, that way they will be able to claim exemption from the ban.

Now, I hear you say that the UK would never allow a building to be registered as a ship flying the British flag.

Maybe so...but what of countries that offer flags of convenience for any old rust bucket?

I am sure that countries such as the Bahamas, Bermuda or Panama would be happy to welcome an English pub into their fleet.

May I suggest that you forward this suggestion on to every pub and club that you can think of?

It is most assuredly worth a shot.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Gasping For a Fag II

Gasping For a Fag IIOne day into the fag ban in England and Wales, and we already see Nanny's chums in our "respected" local councils doing their bit to push their intrusive noses into people's private lives and to go beyond the law.

Councils have decided to extend the indoor smoking ban to playgrounds and parks.

that's not all, Nanny's chum Sir Liam Donaldson, the chief medical officer, has signalled the start of a wider campaign to make smoking socially unacceptable. The Department of Health is likely to force cigarette manufacturers to carry picture warnings on packets showing the health effects of smoking, which may include images of blocked arteries.

I find it a bit rich that doctors keep banging on about what we eat and drink, given that they are notorious for being at the top end of the statistics for alcohol, fag and substance abuse in this country.

It should be a case of physician heal thyself!

Anyhoo, disregarding our alcoholic substance abusing chums in the medical profession, Nanny's best chums in local councils in Middlesbrough, Cleveland and Derwentside, Co Durham have decided to go beyond the law and have imposed smoking bans on open-air spaces such as municipal playgrounds.





It would seem that local councils no longer give a stuff about the law, and are now openly contemptuous of people's freedoms and liberties.

What does this tell us about the sort of individual who stands for council???

By the way folks, if you think that being banned from smoking in parks is bad...may I acquaint you with Professor John Britton?

Britton is chairman of the tobacco advisory group, at the Royal College of Physicians.

He has decreed that smoking in front of children is child abuse.


"If the child is being seriously affected

then you would need to establish that for

the individual child and take action

Excuse me?

What the fark does "take action" mean?

How unbelievably arrogant and unpleasant!

The state, doctors and councils need to be reminded that they are not on this planet to tell us what to do or to dictate to us.

Here are a few email addresses for you to vent your spleens upon:

These people will do the same with booze and food next, mark my words.