Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Prats of The Week - Nanny Bans Lemons

Prats of The WeekOh my golly gosh, tis time for another prestigious "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to the Asda "superstore" in Aberdeen, for displaying Nanny Numptiness well beyond the call of duty.

Chris Pether, 70 years old, recently attempted to buy two lemons from Asda and was in the process of using the automatic checkout, when a message appeared on the screen of the checkout machine informing him that this was more than the maximum number he could purchase.

A supervisor duly appeared, who told him that health and safety rules prevented them from selling more than one loose lemon, orange or grapefruit.

What the fark?

For why?

It seems, my loyal readers, that local "yooves" (or is it "yoofs"?) have been throwing fruit at people.

Well now here are few observations:

1 Maybe the "yooves" were assisting people in reaching Nanny's "Five a day" target.

2 Whatever the "yooves" may, or may not, be up to since when is it a supermarket's business to get themselves involved with law breaking (if indeed it really is law breaking) matters outwith their own premises?

3 Errm, I assume that there is more than one establishment in Aberdeen from which fruits can be purchased? Surely the "yooves" will simply buy their fruit elsewhere?

4 Automatic checkout "rationing" such as this can be easily circumvented by simply creating separate checkouts for each product rationed; time consuming maybe, but still easy to do.

Ironically, and here's the really really daft part of all of this nonsense, Mr Pether was then informed that he could still buy a pack of ten lemons.



Simple my loyal readers, the lemons in the ten pack are smaller, and therefore less dangerous!

Mr Pether got his lemons, by paying for them using two separate transactions.

The Asda bunker, determined to make complete prats of themselves, then denied that they were rationing lemons at that store or indeed nationwide. A spokesman for the supermarket said:

"It sounds like one of our colleagues was having a really bad day.

People can buy as many lemons, oranges and grapefruits as they like

If that was true:

- why was the checkout system programmed to refuse the transaction?

- why did the human supervisor not override the system?

Someone is telling porkies!

Asda, well deserving "Prats of The Week"!

Drop them a note here Asda.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries


  1. Ah Asda....Now there was I thinking that during their amnoying ads, when the drones tapped their backsides, they were suggesting they had saved money and put it in their back pocket however, in light of this story, it appears they were just showing the orifice from where they spoke....Their backside!!!

    I wonder if all the major supermarket chains have done some sort of deal with Nanny to help implement her crazy policies to turn us all into non thinking yes sheep.....This story has all the hallmarks of a Monty Python sketch....To be read aloud in a silly high voice....."Oh no you can't buy two big lemons because they're dangerous but you can have ten small ones"......Perhaps in the past, Asda drones have rightly had the large ones shoved up their arses when they've tried to Nanny customers, perhaps the smaller ones are more drone friendly in similar circumstances.....This country has gone silly now so, please stop and let me off!!!

    Enjoy lemons responsibly.

  2. Anonymous11:02 AM

    Too right Tonk. Spot on as always.

    It should be remembered that Asda are now American owned, showing that Nanny is far more pervasive than we feared.

    Enjoy Tonk responsibly.

  3. Eee I did laugh. I dont think nanny needs to do anything anymore, she can just sit back and watch muppets like this create a whole raft of petty restrictions for her while she goes into retirement.
    Honestly, who restricts lemons because some chavs throw them at people? Can you still buy eggs and flour in ASDA?
    I bet its because people put lemon in gin and two large lemons equals 20 gins which is way over the daily allowance. (Mmmm, Gin).

  4. Anonymous12:27 PM

    A well-deserved award, Ken! Typically, though, having received adverse publicity on the matter, far from apologising for their stupidity, they are trying to backtrack, as usual.

  5. microdave1:16 PM

    I guess it's a matter of time before we will only be allowed to buy petrol one gallon at a time.....

    Oops, sorry, 4.546 litres!

  6. Anonymous1:30 PM

    So, riddle me this, friends in the UK....Yobs are throwing fruit yobs are making weapons out of teaspoons etc so John Q Public now cannot buy these things. Why are the police not going to the source and run yobs who engage in criminal behavior in for a fine, or a few days in jail up to full prison terms depending on the crime?

    Debbie from US

  7. Anonymous2:37 PM

    Dear Debbie, it would never do to tell off these yobs. It might harm their fragile self-esteem. Poor little things.

    Besides, the Police dare not touch them (literally) for fear of false accusations of sexual abuse. I kid you not!

    Britain in 2009, welcome to hell!

  8. Speenzman2:37 PM

    "Why are the police not going to the source and run yobs who engage in criminal behavior in for a fine, or a few days in jail up to full prison terms depending on the crime?"

    The police investigate crime?! Put people in our overcroweded prison for committing a crime rather than some 70 year old for not having enough state pension to cover her council tax? This is Nanny's Britain Debbie...

  9. Number 610:05 AM

    Debbie, our wounderful bobbies (ha ha ha) are now either jackbooted nazi thugs who batter people to death for getting in the way of the Obamafest/G20 mass political jerk off in London, or uniformed social workers for nanny who must obey every politically correct whim from the 'cultural diversity' courses.

    The law abiding citizen is just an annoyance to them now and must be dealt with severely before they can get on with the real business of filling in Nanny's forms on "policing with full health and safety compliance in a non-gender specific fashion respecting multi cultural dignity in the post-modern society."

  10. non-athlete11:12 PM

    I have just been forbidden to purchase two tubes of athlete's foot cream (different products) by some poor minion at an Asda pharmacy counter.
    When I asked the un-askable "Why?" a supervisor was summoned! Having a life to live, and not wishing to explain my fungal infection to another interrogator, confess to taking the occasional paracetamol and admitting that I don't suffer from a list of ailments fired at me, I left the store and went to Sainsbury's where the staff seem to have a modicum of common sense.
    Goodbye Asda!