Don't Touch The Snow!

Headteacher Ges Smith at Jo Richardson Community School in east London has banned his pupils from touching snow.
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He said the new rule has been introduced for health and safety reasons.

Speaking this morning on Good Morning Britain, Mr Smith said:

‘The problem is it only takes one student, one piece of grit, one stone in a snowball in an eye with an injury and we change our view.

The rules are don’t touch the snow. If you don’t touch the snow you’re not going to throw it.’

He added that the snow also makes the children wet and cold.

Childhood fun and games (which are a method by which children learn to take bumps and knocks and interact with each other) are banned by Nanny and replaced by cotton wool.

This is neither safe nor wise!

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Beware The Phallus of Doom!

Giant yellow phallus of DOOM spotted over Britain. pic.twitter.com/Ku9Mh3oImJ

— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) February 28, 2018

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SNOWBOMB ALERT!!!!!!

As ever, Nanny and her media act with utter hysteria when rain and snow descend upon our septic isles.

Who would have thought that it would snow in winter?

Needless to say we are being smothered in an avalanche of "amber warnings" and tedious advice about not getting cold etc etc. It also goes without saying that transport services have all but collapsed in some parts of the country.

I would also note, with a hat tip to the muse irony, that an illuminated snowman that I had ordered for delivery today has (so I am informed by the supplier) been delayed because of snow!

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Snow Bomb Alert!

Oh dear the mercury drops a wee bit and Nanny, her chums in the various health agencies and the media all hyperventilate about an allegedly oncoming bit of chilly weather.

Apparently, we will all die of hypothermia and a "snow bomb" (whatever that is?) is on its way!

Well I am old enough to remember the "thunder snow" debacle of January, half an hours sleet and that was it!

Just dress warm if you are feeling a tad cold, and have some hot soup!

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Global Warming - Beware The Polar Vortex

I see that one of the consequences of "global warming" is the current "Polar Vortex" that is gripping North America and Canada.

Clearly without "global warming" it would have been even colder there!

Oh, and by the way, heavy snow storms on the East coast of the USA tend to end up over here 3-4 days later.

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Snow Alert

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Selfish Stupid C*nt!

Proof positive that living in the Nanny state makes people farking stupid and selfish!

The above photo is of a car travelling at around 60mph on a motorway this weekend!

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Snow Joke II

Just spotted on the outskirts of Brighton, the council have deployed special patrol vehicles to deter people from entering the city during these Arctic conditions!

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Snow Joke

I see that with less than an inch of snow London's mainline stations are closing. Oh, and Pontypool ski centre is closed today.

All hail the Nanny state for looking after us so "well" and for protecting us from risk!

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Global Warming - Snow Level Three Warning

In keeping with the sense of hysteria that grips Nanny whenever anything happens with the weather, last night's light dusting of snow has caused Nanny to sound the alarm.

The much "respected" Met Office has placed England on Level 3 Alert (that's one notch below "National Emergency" FFS!) and the NHS has issued advise to people about how to stay warm.

Hmmm...it is winter isn't it?

We do live in a country that does occasionally experience snow and cold snaps don't we?

That'll be the global warming then!

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Nanny Bans Snowmen

The recent flurries of snow have brought about something of a collective madness in the behaviour and mindset of our "beloved" and "respected" local councils.

For reasons best known to themselves councils up and down the country have been beheading and destroying snowmen constructed in public areas and parks.

Council workers smashed the heads of snowmen on the Homefield Recreation Ground in Chiswick. When the workmen were challenged about their snowmanicide, their excuse was that they were "protecting the grass".

What??

It is estimated that around 50 snowmen and several igloos were destroyed by the council workmen there. I understand that saws were used to decapitate some!

Other snowmanicides have been reported in Cambridge and Enfield.

Hounslow Council claim that they had no knowledge of their employees actions, and that the snowmanicide had not been sanctioned.

 

Council workmen in Enfield were easy to spot when the were committing snowmanicide.

How so?

They were wearing Hi Vis jackets!

Remember, if you see an incident of snowmanicide please report it on this site immediately!

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Snow Business Like Snow Business

Over a year ago I wrote about BAA being unable to keep Thiefrow open during the snow.

Well here we are, some 13 months later, and BAA have once again demonstrated that they are unable to manage a piss up in a brewery.

Last night's "staggering" snow fall, of but a few centimetres, has caused BAA to cancel vast swathes of scheduled flights from Thiefrow today.

Evidently no one told BAA that snow was coming...oh, hang on a minute!!

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No Snowballs

As the winter snow is washed away by a torrent of rain, spare a thought for Dean Smith who had been recently frolicking in the snow with his family after a Christmas shopping trip.

Rather foolishly he decided to lob a snowball at a passing female police officer.

Can you guess what happened three days later children?

Yes, that's right, the police arrived at Mr Smith's house and arrested him. He was handcuffed and taken off to the local nick to be charged with common assault.

He has appeared before magistrates in Derby and now has to wait, possibly until 12 January, to see if the case will proceed.

I accept that lobbing snowballs at the police is a silly thing to do. However, if a sound telling off is administered, and the snowballer apologises, are there not more pressing things that the police could be attending to....eg arresting men with eccentric hair, releasing their names to the press (the result being that the shouty media have tried him and found him guilty) and banning ITV from attending news conferences?

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The Joy of Cat Litter II

I see, rather surprisingly, that the weather forecasts were pretty accurate wrt the snow and ice that had been predicted.

Fair enough!

Given the fact that there has been sufficient and well publicised warnings about the snow I assume that Nanny (eg councils, the Highways Agency etc) and "quasi state" bodies (eg Network Rail, BAA, BA, train companies etc) were ready for it, and have responded professionally and efficiently ensuring that our transport system continues to function during the snow.

What's that you say?

Really, the transport system has ground to a halt again?

Surely not?

Surely these bodies were prepared and ready this time?

Funny that isn't it, the state and "quasi state" bodies are always rather good at telling us how to live our lives (eg "don't travel", "check your flight details before leaving home", "no liquids", "check in at least two hours before departure" etc) and are more than happy to rob us blind (eg taxes, train fares etc) in return for providing us with "services" that fail?

Rather a one way "relationship" isn't it?

Looks like I will be using a lot of cat litter over the coming days!

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The Joy of Cat Litter

I see that the media, government and weather "experts" are all screaming at us that the coldest winter in 400 years is about to begin today, and that when you wake up and read this we will all be covered in a thick blanket of snow.

That'll be the global warming then!

Hmmm, well call me cynical but I don't have much faith in the weather forecasters.

In the unlikely event that we are covered in snow, given the mass hysteria of the media et al there will be absolutely no excuse for the train companies, airports and councils not to have done some decent prep beforehand and for all services to be running smoothly and efficiently.

Yes???

However, I will give you a tip if you find yourselves snowbound without any grit to hand...cat litter!

It works a treat, I recommend that you buy a ton of the stuff just in case.

In related news, did I mention that I am a proud shareholder in one of the world's largest cat litter mines? (which has the cat shit market by the bollocks)...;)

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Let It Snow! II

Just a brief comment about the ongoing snowbound shambles that is our transport infrastructure.

I watched Philip Hammond, Nanny's Transport minister, on Newsnight last night.

Goodness me there was a man who seemed to be perfectly "satisfied" that the state was doing all it could to deal with the issue.

LOL!

The same old bleating line "worst weather in decades" was trotted out, along with some banal comments that the main roads were all clear...errmmm...they most certainly are not.

He steadfastly refused to agree that the army should be called in to help (a call being made by, a.o., the AA).

He then went on to issue the Nanny state's mantra "only travel if your journey is absolutely necessary".

Well, here's a message for the minister and Nanny:

Most people (adults and children) have have to travel to get to their work, or go to school.

Is he suggesting that the country should simply stop work?

Admittedly, in my area:

- The mail has stopped
- There were no trains to/from Brighton station yesterday
- Gatwick was shut
- Corner shop had no papers, bread etc
- Local supermarket resembled a third world shop; it had run out of most fresh produce
- Hospitals have asked that only emergencies attend
- Schools are shut
- No grit on our roads
- No waste collection etc etc

In effect, it does seem that many have had to stop work. So much for the "plug in and play" environment that governments are meant to provide us with (see "Happiness").

However, Nanny has run up a £4.8 trillion debt.

How the fark are we going to pay that off, if we can't get to work to pay her ever increasing taxes?

The minister and Nanny are living on another planet!

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Let It Snow!

How lovely to have such a "seasonal" snowfall in the weeks leading up to Christmas!

That of course would be fine were we living in a country with a decent transport infrastructure, and well managed central and local government services. However, in Nanny's Britain the state (despite being remarkably good at telling us how to run our lives) is incapable of managing basic services.

As usual the UK ground to halt within hours of the first snowflakes appearing; roads were not gritted, trains were stuck and airports closed.

For why?

Those who are responsible for managing the transport infrastructure are simply not up to the job, and trot out all the usual complacent excuses about the weather being unpredictable and it being the worst since 989BC etc etc.

Bollocks!

Countries such as Russia and Poland (who are not meant to be as well off as the UK) manage to keep their trains, buses and airports running.

What does Nanny do?

She bleats out the same tired old line "do not travel unless your journey is absolutely necessary".

Lovely advice if you live in Lah Lah Land. However, the majority of people have to travel to get to work, go to school and shop etc.

Here's what needs to be done:

1 Gritters, snow ploughs and track de-icers should be working during the night, not just during daylight hours.

2 School kids should be advised to walk to school, rather than rely on their parents driving them.

3 Individuals should be responsible for clearing their own pathways (and those of their elderly infirm neighbours) of snow (this is the law in other countries, eg Poland).

4 The Meteorological Office should be fined when they screw up their forecasts.

5 It should be mandatory for everyone (on cold days such as this) to have a bowl of porridge fortified with a tot of whisky or rum for breakfast.

Sorted!

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The Dangers of Ice

Given the ongoing icy conditions (doubtless due to global warming), this pre Christmas nugget of Nannyism seems appropriate.

A charitable Christmas sleigh collection in Wymondham was cancelled in the run up toe Christmas.

For why?

Icy conditions posing a health and safety risk!

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Let It Snow II

Suffice to say my own local council's "efforts" to grit the local roads, and keep things running smoothly were a shambles!

Witness the jolly exchange of emails I had with our "leader":

"20 December 2009

Mary

Despite comments in the Argus that you are proud about how the council has handled the snow; why is that XXXX Hill, XXXX St etc and many other parts of Hanover have not seen a single grit lorry or indeed sack of grit since the snow arrived Thursday?

The roads are impassable in places, people falling over (ambulances can't reach them) and doubtless the insurance costs (to be levied by claims against the council for negligence) mounting minute by minute.

We are pretty well cut off up here, but be assured we won't forget how proud you are of your council's "achievements" wrt the snow/ice.

Out of mild curiosity when will the grit arrive, before or after the snow melts?

Thanks.

Kind regards

Ken Frost...

Subject: RE: XXX Hill etc cut off
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:55:34 +0000
From: Mary.Mears@brighton-hove.gov.uk
To: kenfrostcia@hotmail.com


Dear Mr Frost, thank you for your email.

We do understand the frustrations of residents who have been faced with treacherous conditions during this particularly severe freeze.

All of our gritting lorries and ploughs were working around the clock during the weekend to clear the main roads. We also have 350 salt bins on pavements around the city.

However, it is not possible to keep all 3,000 of the city's roads free from ice and snow in the hours immediately following a severe freeze without massively increasing the cost to taxpayers. Instead, busy bus routes and roads into key sites, such as hospitals, are prioritised so that economic and social activity can continue in the city.

Because conditions were considerably more icy than predicted, we also diverted all refuse, recycling and parks staff onto hand gritting pavements yesterday.

Further information about what the Council has been doing in the city is available on our web site

http://www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/index.cfm?request=b1157184

Regards ...


Thank you Mary.

The hand gritters (binmen I believe?) finally reached XXX Hill and the related areas around midday Monday (after I had emailed you about the issue).

Kind regards

Ken Frost"

Pride cometh before a fall, and it now seems that there will be a review of how "well" the council handled this issue:)

Councils, don't you just love em?

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Let It Snow

As the country, and Eurofailure, bask in the heat of global warming spare a thought for the poor old reindeer.

Twelve reindeer were booked to appear at a Christmas display in Market Harborough, until that is Nanny (in the shape of council health and safety gestapo) stuck their sallow, twisted scrofulous noses in.

Can you guess what happened my loyal readers?

Yes, that's right, Nanny banned the reindeer.

For why?

Isn't it obvious?

It might snow, and the reindeer (and people attending) might injure themselves.

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