Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, January 31, 2011

The Lost Weekend - Cocaine vs Alcohol



Saturday night being a rather quiet one this weekend, Eva is visiting her grandson in Stockholm, I decided to "educate" myself and watch a gemusing BBC documentary (presumably aimed at discouraging people under 30 from taking drugs) "How Do Drugs Work?".

The subject being cocaine, the documentary followed a few characters around as they happily snorted coke at various times/venues (eg at a party, in a pub car park, in the street etc).

It gave a potted (pardon the pun) history of coke, seemingly it was the medical "cure all" of the late 19th century; being used as an anaesthetic, headache cure, haemorrhoid cure and even put into tooth paste (that would certainly encourage people to brush their teeth more regularly!).

Anyhoo, as we all know, during the Edwardian era the "morality movement" took centre stage in the UK and USA. The USA banned all drugs and booze (thus creating the modern day mafia), whilst the UK stopped short of banning booze but did ban drugs.

Has this worked?

Ermmm....not at all, seemingly around 1.5M people snort coke in the UK (even leading politicians on both sides of the Atlantic have admitted/refused to deny that they have used it).

Aside from following a few users about their daily business, the programme also showed the police in part of Kent testing people entering nightclubs for contact with the drug (a skin "swatch" can tell if the person has touched it in the last 24 hours).

This seemingly rather pointless testing of people (without reasonable grounds for suspicion of possession) did not catch many people with the drug on them, but did identify that nearly all the people going clubbing had been in contact with the drug in the last 24 hours.

A valuable use of police resources!

Anyhoo, a list of the effects of the drug was duly rattled off during the course of the programme:

- it elevates mood
- it increases self confidence
- it increases sexual desire (although, just like booze, it can cause erectile floppiness)
- it increases the heat rate
- it increases blood pressure
- it can cause heart attacks and strokes
- people feel "down" when the rug wears off
- it damages the nasal cavities (if taken regularly)
- it can be addictive (although it does not cause the same withdrawal symptoms as other class A drugs)

Now, aside from the nasal cavity issues unless you get a lot of champagne bubbles up your nose), does the above list not sound awfully familiar?

Think about it?

Yes, that's right, the list is also applicable to alcohol. Although, it should be noted that alcohol is very fattening, whilst cocaine is not.

Is it therefore not a trifle odd (dare I say hypocritical) that drugs are illegal, yet booze (which, if misused, can also be extremely harmful) is legal? In theory, possession of a small amount of cocaine (even solely for personal use) can attract a prison sentence of several years (unless you are the likes of Paris Hilton).

Is there not something really very wrong here, where 1.5 million people cheerfully disregard the law and our leading politicians have taken/still take the stuff, where we still have a law in place (that is clearly failing) brought about by the past actions of the now long dead "morality movement"?

Is it not time that the law was brought into line with reality?

Pleasure is a short-term reward for doing what your body wants. It is largely about fulfilling basic human needs.

We do many things in life, including eating, having sex, gambling and risk taking, because doing them results in our brains being flooded by feel-good dopamine

Pleasure is vital for our survival - without it we wouldn't eat or have sex, and would soon die out as a species.

Nanny's drugs policy is a shambles, and is destined to fail. Using the law to enforce certain people's views on "morality" never works in the long run.

Do remember loyal readers that our government, that continues to advocate the current drugs policy, is made up of a number of highly placed people who have used (and maybe continue to use) several illegal drugs (not "just" whacky backy).

Factoids

1 The semi civil war in Mexico over drugs, that is now spilling over into the USA, will eventually force legislators there to legalise drugs in order to cut the legs off the criminal drugs lords who are destroying the country.

2 Leading politicians on both sides of the Atlantic (a President and a Prime Minister) have admitted to, or have almost admitted to, taking a variety on illegal substances. Yet they have managed to lead fulfilling, non self destructive lives. How is they seek to maintain a ban on substances that they have taken?

3 Drugs finance terrorist economies, eg Afghanistan. Legalise drugs and the terrorist economy is decapitated.

I say again, without any lack of clarity or fudging of the issue, drugs should be legalised.

Once legalised, they can be taxed and the public properly educated as to their effects.

The legalisation will bring about the end of the stranglehold that the criminal gangs currently have on many of the run down estates in this country. The ending of their supply of easy money will remove their power, kudos and "bling"; their power over others will end.

That surely is a good thing?

Is it not ironic that those who would most strongly resist the legalisation of drugs are those who currently make money of them?

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Bingo

It is surprising in this day and age of the Nanny state, when the state seeks to interfere in and control the minutiae of our daily lives, that Nanny still allows her subjects to indulge in “innocent” gambling and play bingo and use online bingo sites.

In fact advertising and marketing for bingo halls and bingo online, both in the printed media and on TV, is now rammed down our throat on a daily basis.
Given that Nanny disapproves of smoking, drinking, drug taking and our diet, why is it that she permits such an apparent inconsistency by allowing us to partake in something that in theory could be classed as addictive and “damaging” to our wellbeing?

It seems to me that Nanny is following the format so expertly laid out and explained in George Orwell’s “1984”, whereby the state allows the “common people” a small amount of freedom to “sin” (in “1984” the allowable “sins” were sex, porn, drinking and watching violent news reels) in order to be able to retain office and preside over a docile and subservient population.

The other salient fact in this apparent hypocrisy is that Nanny, via the National Lottery, rakes in a very nice ”little earner” for herself. Therefore she can hardly legislate against bingo and other variations of this form of “innocent” gambling, such as scratch cards.

Online bingo sites etc now offer punters the ability to purchase an online variation of the scratch card. Clearly, from the point of view of Nanny, anything that encourages people to use scratch card and become used to having a “weekly flutter” will have a ripple down effect and boost ticket sales for her own National Lottery.
In other words, it is in Nanny’s interests that we all indulge in the “vice” of gambling; it’s good for you and good for the state!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Three Inches!



I know that Nanny has been pumping up the volume about the terror threat that we all face. However, I think that the security officers at Gatwick may have lost the plot a bit.

Julie Lloyd was flying back to Canada with a present for her husband, a plastic model of a Royal Signaller (the present, not her husband!) complete with a three inch plastic gun (no moving parts or trigger).

The toy was in her carry on luggage.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, the security personnel told her it constituted a weapon and that she could not take it on board.

Rules is rules!

Tell me again then, if security is so tight, how is that an arms smuggler was able to conduct a thriving trade in real guns by importing them into the UK in his suitcase from the USA?

Anyhoo, Mrs Lloyd posted the toy from Gatwick instead and it arrived safely (by plane) a few days later!

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Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Prats of The Week - CPS



Goodness me, the week is almost over and I have yet to award one of my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes (somewhat belatedly, as the story is a tad past its prime) to the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS).

For why?

Ask Michael Thompson, who was recently prosecuted at the behest of the CPS.

What did he do?

Way back in July 2010 he was driving through a police speed trap in the Grimsby area, and flashed his headlights to warn fellow knights of the road about a mobile police speed gun.

The police flagged him down and charged him, peding CPS approval.

Note, he wasn't prosecuted by the CPS for speeding but for warning other motorists.

Nanny's chums at Grimsby Magistrates' Court have fined Mr Thompson £175 plus £250 costs plus a £15 "victim" surcharge ("victim"? what "victim"??), on the basis that he was wilfully obstructing a police officer in the course of her duties.

Mr Thompson is of the view that it was his civic duty to warn others.

Here's my view, the CPS and police are fooling no one with this prosecution. The theoretical purpose of speed traps etc is to ensure that motorists adhere to the speed limit.

Therefore if motorists know that there is a speed trap they will slow down, thus ensuring they keep to the speed limit and satisfying the alleged purpose of the speed trap.

However, the reality is that speed cameras and traps are a nice little earner for the state and local police forces (cameras have raised £100M in fines since they were introduced in the 90's). The reason for the prosecution was that Nanny was furious that one of her ways of making money out of us was thwarted.

Ker farking ching!

Mr Thompson should be praised for his actions!

The CPS, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Tech Problem?

Folks I am having trouble with YouTube today.

My pc shows that all the videos I have uploaded here have gone black.

Are you also seeing the same?

Thanks

Ken

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Bin Brother - The Amok Time


I see that some of Nanny's insubordinate and disobedient councils are ignoring Uncle Eric Pickles's recent request to resume weekly waste collection, and are instead implementing plans to ration bin bag collections to around 50-100 sacks per household per year.

It seems that around 180 or our "respected" local councils are looking into this plan, already being enforced in Broxbourne.

In Broxbourne families get one bag a week for general waste, a bag a fortnight for plastic bottles, a box for recycling and a green wheelie bin every two weeks for food and green waste.

A load of bollocks, as we know from undercover reporting by Panorama, a large number of this "recycled" waste simply ends up in landfills in India (someone somewhere is making a nice living out of this scam perpetrated on the voters by our lousy local councils).

Plans are being put in place in Wokingham to allow families with five members 100 rubbish bags a year!

The excess rubbish not collected will simply pile up on the street and attract vermin.

Council are ignoring the wishes of both the local electorate and central government, they are in effect running amok!

Councils should be spurned in the same manner as one would spurn a rabid dog.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Big Society - The Role of Charities



Coalition Nanny's current soundbite of choice is "The Big Society". Apparently this phrase was knocked up by Tory HQ one evening before election and never actually "tested" on focus groups to see if anyone liked it, or actually knew what it was meant to mean.

I dare say it is meant to mean that we are all in this together, and that we should pull together etc.

Very inspiring!

Anyhoo, as a result of the ongoing cuts programme some sections of the "big society" have been starting to feel a little nervous. There has been a rather well co-ordinated media campaign of late by the charity sector, the members of which are worried that the speed and scale of government cuts will disadvantage those most in need and hamper the charities in their work.

I do not deny that the cuts will affect some sections to the "big society" more than others; also it is a reality of life that the poorest members of society are always adversely affected more during an economic downturn, than the richest. However, I would venture to suggest that maybe the charities are overprotesting a little too much:

1 The country is £4.8 Trillion in debt. The current debt reduction measures barely scratch the surface of that debt.

2 There are a vast number of charities in the UK, some of which appear to be targeting exactly the same groups and are quite possibly tripping up over each other and wasting time and resources via this inefficient duplication of effort.

3 Last year charities in the UK raised approximately £53BN, not all of this actually goes to the intended recipients (eg there are admin costs and fundraising costs)

4 Some of the larger, well known charities are sitting on some rather large cash reserves.

How much?

£26BN in 2001.

They argue that these are necessary in order to smooth cash flows during years of plenty and years of lean (much like the argument used by endowment companies wrt "with profit policies"). Given that we are currently experiencing lean times would it not be sensible for the charities with reserves to play their part, and use their savings to make up the shortfall from donations (much like everyone else has to do when they face financial shocks, such as redundancy?)

In short, we are facing a difficult and uncertain economic future for the next few years; if the "big society" really does exist, then should charities not also play their part by using their reserves?

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Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, January 24, 2011

Nanny Teaches Compassion



I am "gemused" to read that Nanny has now taken up the role of teaching compassion and empathy towards people who are ill.

Quite how the state is meant to be able to teach compassion and empathy is beyond me.

Anyhoo, this nonsense all started a wee while ago following a heart attack (that proved to be fatal) suffered by Mandy Mathieson in Tomintoul Moray last October.

An ambulance technician, who was but 800 yards away, was alerted. However, he refused to respond.

For why?

He was on his tea break!

Instead, the call for emergency medical treatment had to be answered by paramedics based miles away. The medical team arrived at the scene some 30 minutes later. Unfortunately, Ms Mathieson was pronounced dead when they arrived.

Nanny has decreed that the technician, who was on his tea break, will keep his job (see, Nanny can be compassionate!).

However, he will undergo training. One assumes that this training will be in compassion and empathy.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Sunday, January 23, 2011

A Shameless Plug!

Oh So Swedish

Dear All

Here is a shameless plug for Eva's "work in progress" website and webshop for "Oh So Swedish" (arts and handicrafts with a "Swedish flavour").

Any comments/criticisms etc of the site (still being "tweaked") please send to her.

Feel free to spend lots of money there though:)

www.ohsoswedish.com

Thanks for listening.

Ken

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, January 21, 2011

One Bad Apple


I am genuinely sorry to see that Alan Johnson was forced to resign, because of the upcoming storm of media interest in issues relating to his marriage.

It seems a very "rum do" indeed when "professional" officers assigned to protect people end up compromising their role, and have affairs with those/the spouses of those that they are assigned to protect.

This is not the first time that this has happened, nor indeed will it be the last.

Indeed the recent botched undercover operation, relating to so called "eco warriors", could hardly have been helped by the fact that the undercover officer used his role as an excuse for a fling.

What kind of police force has Nanny created, that so willingly compromises itself in this manner just to satisfy carnal desires?

Whilst I am on the subject, how is that so many details about the "man with eccentric" hair (apparently wrongly arrested for murder, now someone else has been arrested) were leaked to the press; thus causing a firestorm of shouty headlines and lurid sh*te to be published wrecking that man's life.

Is this the way that "justice" is now to be conducted in this country? Media driven lynch mobs working hand in hand with the police?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Where's Wookie?


My sympathies to Mike Harding of Bedford, who lost his cat "Wookie" last year.

As any pet owner would do, Mr Harding did his best to try to find Wookie by putting up missing cat posters (on trees, lampposts and parking meters).

Unfortunately for Mr Harding he fell foul of his local council's environmental officer, who threatened him with a £1K fine (Ker Farking Ching!) unless the posters were removed by Christams Eve.

For why?

Mr Harding, in the eyes of Nanny, committed two "crimes":

1 The posters can be constituted as "litter" and unauthorised "advertising", ie Nanny wanted a fee.

2 Mr Harding used nails to affix some of the posters to trees. Nanny was very upset about the trees being "pierced" in this fashion, and decreed that the trees would die if pierced thusly! This is of course bollocks, as trees tend to live far longer than humans despite being bashed about in all manner of unpleasant ways.

Mr Harding rushed around and removed his posters by 3AM Christmas Eve.

Wookie is still, I believe, missing:(

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Dodgy Science II



I see that the "great debate" about Nanny's advice to eat "five portions of fruit and veg a day" continues to "rage".

A European "study" now concludes that we should eat eight portions a day.

The European Prospective Investigation into Cancer and Nutrition (EPIC) Heart study claims to show that people who eat at least eight portions of fruit and vegetables a day have a 22% lower risk of dying from ischaemic heart disease (IHD), than those who consumed fewer than three portions a day.

Pretty convincing eh?

Well not really, the study also notes (almost reluctantly) that a higher fruit and vegetable intake occurs among people with other healthy eating habits and lifestyles.

Oh yes?

Oddly enough these factors may also account for the lower risk of dying from IHD!

In other words, if you eat a balanced diet and take sensible exercise (ie don't destroy yourselves by living as a potato and eating only shite) then you will probably be more healthy.

Were do I apply for my grant to conduct similar "research" that will come to that conclusion?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Booze Matters - Minimum Pricing



I see that Nanny is laying plans for a minimum price of alcohol to be set, her theory being that this will eliminate "binge drinking".

Nanny plans to ensure that weak lager cannot be sold for less that 38p a can (I have to pay around £1 for my 4.8% Red Stripe!), and a litre of vodka cannot be sold for less than £10.71.

Here's why this plan is bollocks:

1 In the Nordic countries there are heavy duties on booze, eg in Finland half a litre of beer costs £5.85 and plonk is £20.90 a bottle. However, I can assure you that these countries still have high rates of alcohol abuse (people brew their own); additionally the high duties are contrary to EU rules (people go abroad and bring in gallons of cheap booze anyway).

2 Drinking is part of the national culture, whether Nanny likes it or not. In Julius Caesar's time Romans wrote back home complaining about the rain, fighting and British capacity for drinking themselves senseless.

3 Nanny is in no position to dictate to us what and how much we should drink. Our "respected" MPs have access to bars and restaurants that are open outwith normal hours, and serve subsidised booze (courtesy of our taxes).

4 Violent behaviour stems from the moronic mindsets and "characters" of the individuals concerned. I can drink gallons, but do not end up hitting people, putting my feet up on seats or behaving in an "anti social" manner.

5 We are now living longer (as Nanny keeps lamenting). The costs on our health care system of looking after an ever increasing elderly and infirm population are not sustainable. Maybe it is better for the our happiness, and the tax burden, that we be allowed to enjoy ourselves and die a little bit earlier?

As said, the plan is bollocks.

Sad to see it comes from a government that claims it is trying to roll back the frontiers of the state!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, January 17, 2011

Nanny Bans Night Games



My commiserations to the Scouts Association who recently suffered a defeat in a case, involving playing "Objects in the Dark", that they had brought before the House of Lords.

In 2001 Mark Barnes, then 13, had damaged his shoulder whilst playing "Objects in the Dark" at the 237th troop's hall in Castle Bromwich.

The game involved running around a pile of wooden blocks in the middle of a room then, when the lights were switched off leaving only a residual glow from emergency exits, rushing into the centre to pick up a block.

The scout left without holding a block would be out.

An MRI scan in 2007 showed that Mr Barnes had a "permanent impaction injury", which meant he would always suffer pain when the shoulder was under stress.

Although he was still able to play rugby, he was awarded £7,322 in January 2010.

The Scout Association disputed the award on the grounds that it was a damaging example of the "nanny state".

The Lords rejected the appeal. However, Lord Justice Jackson dissented and noted that it was not the function of the law "to eliminate every iota of risk or to stamp out socially desirable activities".

In order for children to mature into well rounded, responsible adults they need to be able to face/manage risk. Wrap kids in cotton wool and they will grow into immature, self centred timid adults.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, January 14, 2011

The Dead Hand of Bureaucracy



Here is a little story highlighting Nanny's "bloody mindedness", that relates to the recently passed New Year's eve.

Newquay as many a teenager knows is "party central", and indeed the local economy is propped up by the surf and booze environment encouraged by the local council.

Anyhoo, come New year's eve people were expecting a wee drinky or two.

Not so fast me hearties!

Newquay's Central Square suffered from a lack lustre atmosphere, as a result of police telling the Central Inn not to not play music outside the premises.

Now, as we know from previous articles on this site, Nanny does not authorise bars, shops, garages etc to play music (even turning on the radio) unless they pay (Ker Farking Ching) a fee for a licence.

Anyhoo, bar managers were only told a few days before the piss up that they would have to get a temporary event licence to play music outside or lose their licence if music was heard.

Ker farking ching!

Needless to say, as I am sure the police were well aware, the bureaucracy involved required that they give notice considerably earlier than they did if the bar managers could have a chance to obtain the licence.

Nanny will use every trick in the book in order to ensure we don't enjoy ourselves.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Financial Power List


Dear friends

You may be amused to learn that I appear in Accountancy Age's Financial Power List for 2011 (No 42). I was also on the list in 2006.

The list identifies the top 50 who will wield the most influence over the future direction of accounting.

Ken

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats Of The Week - Cefn Hengoed Community School

Prats of The WeekOoh Err Missus...it has been quite a wee while since I have awarded one of my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Awards.

Therefore, without further ado, I award it this week to those in charge of Cefn Hengoed Community.

For why?

Ask Richard Tremelling, the ex head of technology at the school.

Mr Tremelling took his sledge to school in February 2009, as part of a lesson in design technology, and allowed (after testing the conditions himself) two 15 year old male pupils (not 5 year olds etc) in his class to use it themselves during the lesson.

Problem?

Errmm yes actually...can you guess what it is?

Yes, that's right, Mr Tremelling didn't conduct a WRITTEN risk assessment.

His punishment?

- a slap on the wrist?

No!

- a warning letter?

No!

He was fired!

Yes, you read that correctly, Mr Tremelling's "crime" was considered by Nanny to be so heinous that she fired him.

A nice lesson for the kids eh?

Risk is everywhere, do nothing until you have filled in a form.

Ever wondered by so many teenagers hang around street corners looking for trouble?

It's because they are not challenged at school (physically and mentally), and are forbidden from releasing their pent up energy via sport, risk taking etc.

We are reaping the harvest of placing kids in cotton wool.

Sadly for Mr Tremelling only now, almost 2 years later, is his case has only just been heard at an appeal.

The result?

The two day disciplinary hearing ruled that Mr Tremelling should be given a formal reprimand, but be allowed to remain on the professional register.

Two years too late!

The school is still adamant it was right...arrogant as well as pratish!

Those in charge of Cefn Hengoed Community School, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Cone Heads



The good people of my leisure club may have heeded my article last year about the danger of their "wet floor" warning cone, for they have indeed moved it.

Sadly to another position in the club, where I yet again tripped over it!

Evidently either I must look more carefully where I am going, or the leisure club may care to take on board that as there is a swimming pool, showers, sauna and steam room I and other members may well be aware that there is a hdanger of water being on the floor.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Eggcellent!



I am gemused to read on Inspector Gadget's site that his branch of the police have recently banned the use of the phrase:

"Sure as eggs is eggs."

For why?

Seemingly Nanny fears that the phrase may upset women (especially those who may suffer from fertility problems).

We truly live in a crazy country!

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Monday, January 10, 2011

Fire Hazard



My sympathies to the elderly residents of Rockingham Close in Birdwell, a sheltered housing association run by Guinness Northern Counties.

The residents had rather a lack lustre Christmas party in the communal area this year, because the health and safety gestapo ordered them to take down their decorations.

For why?

Seemingly they were not fire resistant.

Rather odd really, because in previous years the residents were allowed to put up decorations.

Guinness Northern Counties contend that the advice that was "meant to be given" was that the decorations could stay up during the party, but had to be removed after.

Ah, how odd that this only comes to light after the media pick the story up!

Those of you with relatively agile brains may have spotted that an alternative, and simple, solution would have been for Guinness Northern Counties to buy some fire retardant decorations.

Too obvious though?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Friday, January 07, 2011

No Snowballs



As the winter snow is washed away by a torrent of rain, spare a thought for Dean Smith who had been recently frolicking in the snow with his family after a Christmas shopping trip.

Rather foolishly he decided to lob a snowball at a passing female police officer.

Can you guess what happened three days later children?

Yes, that's right, the police arrived at Mr Smith's house and arrested him. He was handcuffed and taken off to the local nick to be charged with common assault.

He has appeared before magistrates in Derby and now has to wait, possibly until 12 January, to see if the case will proceed.

I accept that lobbing snowballs at the police is a silly thing to do. However, if a sound telling off is administered, and the snowballer apologises, are there not more pressing things that the police could be attending to....eg arresting men with eccentric hair, releasing their names to the press (the result being that the shouty media have tried him and found him guilty) and banning ITV from attending news conferences?

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, January 06, 2011

The Sun



As we bask in a gloriously gloomy, wet and cold midwinter let us turn our minds towards the summer when we will be able to "frolic" in the sun once again.

What's that you say?

The sun is dangerous, Nanny tells us we will die of cancer if we expose ourselves to it?

We must besport ourselves as though we were in the Court of Versailles, and ensure that our skin is as white as white can be?

Ermmmm...not so fast.

Can you guess what has happened children?

Yes, that's right, as with other scientific bollox that Nanny pumps into her propaganda it seems that the advice that the sun is bad for you is in fact bollox.

Seven organisations (including Cancer Research UK and the National Osteoporosis Society) now believe (note that science under Nanny has been debased to a belief system, on a par with religious faith) that short spells in the sun (without suncream and in the middle of the day) are good for us.

It seems that the "experts" have now realised (something that has been known for decades by every O Level biology student) that the sun is an excellent source of vitamin D (the vitamin that protects us from rickets).

It seems that people have become so indoctrinated by Nanny against going out in the sun, that the lack of sunlight is in fact causing a deficiency in vitamin C in some sections of the community.

As with all advice from Nanny, ignore it, use your commonsense and indulge in a little of what you fancy.

Coming soon, smoking to be made compulsory.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Behavioural Insight - The Nudge Theory

A belated Happy New Year to all my loyal readers!

I am gemused to see that Cameron has been seduced by the idea (laudable) of cutting back on government legalisation that is designed to force us to behave in ways that the government wants us to, but has instead decided to replace it with a concept known as "behavioural insight" (aka "nudge theory") which attempts to manipulate us into behaving in ways that the government approves of (eg giving more to charity, paying more taxes and drinking less)...not so laudable.

How does it do this?

Via a combination of subliminal messages and appealing to the innate human desire to be part of the social "norm" (ie "decent people like to pay more taxes", "the majority of people don't drink to excess" etc).

The theory is that people will comply with whatever "group norms" the government tells us are in play. This technique is used by dictatorships to control their populations, in extremis the state uses the "group norm" approach to encourage the population to spy on and bully those who do not comply with "approved group norm" behaviour and indeed to alienate and ostracise certain social/ethnic groups.

So enamoured is Cameron with this theory, that he has set up a secret group of "experts" who are advising him on how to apply it across government departments (see yesterday's HMRC Is Shite for one such example). Indeed so secret is the work of this group that

Nanny won't tell anyone who is in it, or what they are doing.

Anyhoo, whilst Nanny tries to play mind games with us (latest advice from the "nudge theory think tank", abolish rounds and adopt a tab system instead for paying for drinks in pubs) it is worthwhile remembering what governments are actually meant to do.

Governments are meant to provide us with a "plug in and play" environment in which we are able to live our lives freely, without hindrance, and to conduct our business with as little bureaucratic interference as possible.

Has the government provided us with a "plug in and play" environment?

No, it has not!

1 The train services treat their customers as prostrate milch cows, ripping them off with ever higher fares in return for a substandard cattle truck service.

2 Heathrow airport (the alleged hub of our airport network) regularly turns into a poorly managed refugee camp at the slightest hint of inclement weather.

3 Refuse piles high on the streets thanks to the incompetence of our overpaid unelected council officials.

4 The police store data on victims of crimes who dial 999.

5 The UK is £4.8 Trillion in debt etc.

In short we have become a third world country where the government chooses to play mind games, rather than get down to the business of fixing the shite infrastructure and broken local "democracy".

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Bullshitter of The Year



Congratulations to Michael Roberts, CEO of the Association of Train Operating Companies, for winning the 2011 "Bullshitter of The Year" Award only two days into 2011.

For why?

Read here.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries