Burger Me!

I am hugely gemused to read that, despite Nanny's hysterical campaign against all forms of fast food, it seems that the most "evil" of products a McDonald may in fact be rather good for you in the sense that it is the cheapest most "bountiful" food in human history.

Stephen Dubner, who co-authored "Freakonomics", hosted a debate on his blog after a reader suggested the McDouble packed a better nutritional punch for the penny than is often assumed.

The Telegraph reports that the double cheeseburger provides 390 calories, 23 grams of protein (half a daily serving), seven per cent of daily fibre, 19 grams of fat and 20 per cent of daily calcium, all for between $1 and $2.

Kyle Smith, a New York Post columnist, said:

“Facts are facts – where else but McDonald’s can poor people obtain so many calories per dollar?”

Mr Dubner added:

“The more I thought about the question, whether the McDouble is the cheapest, most bountiful, and nutritious food ever, the more I realised how you answer that question says a lot about how you see the world, not only our food system and the economics of it, but even social justice.” 

In other words, fast food feeds people cheaply. As ever with any food or drink, so long as you don't overdo it, it will not kill you.

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Health and Safety Costs Lives

As loyal readers know, when writing about "health and safety" zealots I often do so with my tongue firmly placed in my cheek.

However, sometimes it is not appropriate to take this approach when people's lives have actually been lost. I refer you to the tragedy of the death of Michael Thornton who died in a water filled ditch.

As per the Telegraph when coroner Michael Rose voiced his dismay at paramedics who refused to rescue a dying man from a water-filled ditch:

“I will not say what I think of health and safety.

I was brought up in a country where men risked their own lives to save others. That was a period in our history which has almost ceased.”

The paramedics say that after carrying out “a risk assessment”, they decided against entering the water to treat Thornton, who was pulled free of the capsized car by his two friends and dragged on to the top of the vehicle, where they tried to resuscitate him.

When a police officer arrived on the scene, he didn’t hesitate in wading into the 10ft-wide ditch and carried the dying man to dry land. But it was too late.

The coroner praised the Pc’s actions, but did not say if the victim could have been saved if the paramedics had gone into the water.


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The Dangers of Doormats

Oh dear I see that Nanny is having another hissy fit over doormats again. Loyal readers will recall that this issue has been featured on this site on a number of occasions, as Nanny gets it into her head that doormats present a health and safety hazard.

This time it is the residents of Brecon Court, in Gipton, Yorkshire who have incurred Nanny's displeasure over their outside doormats; seemingly the doormats are a "fire hazard".

The Telegraph reports that around 90% of the tenants are pensioners and, as such, are likely to have a doormat outside of their homes.

The residents received a letter about the doormat ban from Leeds East North East Homes, the local council's housing management organisation.Residents who decide not to remove their mats will be issued with a legal letter from Leeds City Council.

A spokesperson for East North East Homes Leeds said:

"The safety of our residents is our primary concern. 

Fire safety assessments have been taking place for some time. Rather than having a blanket policy of removing all items, we're discussing with residents where and how relevant items can be moved so they no longer pose a potential obstruction in case of an emergency. 

This approach means that items no longer cause a hazard and surroundings still look appealing. West Yorkshire Fire Service have been closely involved in the development of our approach. 

Unfortunately, in a very small number of cases where items could impede evacuation in case of a fire, residents have not discussed this with us or have refused to move the items. 

In these cases we have the legal powers to remove the items to ensure the safety of all our tenants."

Sigh, 'twas ever thus!

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HMRC Bans Fairy

Oh dear oh dear, who would have thought that Nanny would ban a Fairy?

But she has!

It appears that the well know brand of washing up liquid (Fairy Liquid) does not meet with the approval of the health and safety gestapo at HMRC's office in East Kilbride.

For why?

Allegedly it contains “non-approved chemicals”.

Does this mean that the product is a threat to the health an safety of all who use it?

No!

It poses only a threat to HMRC staff in East Kilbride!

Those running the office there want only the UK Government department’s official supplier (Brillo) to be used in the washing up process.

However, the staff at HMRC’s East Kilbride office have fought back and, according to the Daily Record, have smuggled in their favourite brand.

Alas senior management are demanding staff get rid of the unauthorised cleaning fluids.

An email from Fiona McGregor of the “governance and security team” said:

“I have received feedback that when checking tea points staff identified some with non approved chemicals.

The control of substances hazardous to health regulations 2002 requires employers to control exposure to potentially hazardous substances.

Therefore any chemicals brought on to site require to be assessed.

These include products such as household washing up liquid and cleaning sprays etc.

All that should be at the tea points should be ISS approved and supplied chemicals – Brillo washing up liquid.

At some point in the next few weeks a check will be made on all tea points and any non approved chemicals removed.”

FFS!

Why are we paying taxes to employ people like this?

What the fark is going on in this country???

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Why Are So Many MPs Morons?

Why are MPs allowed to pass legislation on issues that they clearly do not understand or know anything about?

Step forward Claire Perry MP, as per BuzzFeed:

"The person most responsible for the British internet porn ban seems to have a difficult time constructing sentences about the internet."

Oh, and on the subject of morons, I give you Rhoda Grant MSP who wondered aloud:

“If there’s a watershed on the TV then why isn’t there one for the internet?”

FFS!

How is it these people are allowed out into the community without adult supervision?

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Nanny Loves Sweets

Now here's a very odd thing indeed, yesterday I wrote about Nanny banning chocolate on a school trip and conducting a quasi "drug" search of a room to look for chocolate bars etc, yet I also see that Anna Soubry (Nanny's public health minister) said in an interview with trade magazine The Grocer that there is nothing wrong with sweets:

“It’s up to us as individuals to lead healthy lives. 

There’s a responsibility that the supermarkets have, but it’s important for us to take the industry with us, rather than impose things on them.”

Ms Soubry added that it was not the job of the Government to tell supermarkets where they should put their "guilt" shelves (ie the chocolate laden shelves designed to force kids to force their parents to buy them chocolate).

This despite the fact that under a new industry code of practice being drawn up by the Department of Health, stores will be urged to put an end to cheap deals on fatty products, stop funnelling shoppers past rows of unhealthy foods, and spend a fixed amount from their marketing budgets on lower-calorie foods.

Ms Soubry said:

"Guilt lanes is a horrible, horrible expression.

I dislike it intensely - the idea that if you treat yourself you should feel guilty. It's absolute nonsense. 

I just said no to my children. I didn't particularly feel pressured. I can understand that some people find it difficult, particularly when it is aimed at children. 

But there's nothing wrong with sweets. We just want people to put them in sensible balanced diets - and it's not the job of government to tell supermarkets where to put their shelves."

Hoozah!

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Chocolate - The New Drug

Not content with continuing her failed war on drugs, Nanny has now decreed that chocolate is equally verboten.

My thanks to a loyal reader who sent me this sorry tale of Holli McCann, an 11 year old schoolgirl, who committed the "heinous" crime of "smuggling" some chocolate with her on a school trip to the Isle of Wight with her fellow school chums from Bromet Primary in Watford on 1 July.

The following day, her mother was told to phone the school’s hotel urgently. The school told her that Holli was being sent home for eating confectionery and misbehaving on the beach the previous day.

Now there are two sides to every story, according to Spiked Holli’s account of events is that she had stayed up to have a midnight feast with the three friends she was sharing her room with. The contraband consisted of a Kit Kat, a Fudge bar and a Freddo.

Here's the good bit, wherein we discover how Nanny discovered the midnight feast.

Was Holli ratted out by a chum?

No!

Nanny read her letter home!!!

The following day, the pupils handed in letters they had written to be sent home. A teacher read Holli’s description of her minor nocturnal adventure and alerted headteacher Yvonne Graves, who then conducted a search of Holli’s room and suitcase, before deciding to send her home.

Holli’s mum is quoted:

"This was a search for chocolate, but was carried out in such a manner you would have thought they were running an international drug-smuggling operation from their hotel room."

Hertfordshire County Council gave Spiked a statement on the matter:

"Before the Year 6 trip to the Isle of Wight, parents and pupils were asked to sign a behaviour charter which clearly outlines how pupils should behave during the trip. This is to ensure that everyone can have a safe and enjoyable holiday. It was made clear that breaking any of the rules within the charter would result in parents being asked to take their child home, as was the case with this pupil."

Now as to what other "behaviour" issues there were wrt Holli is not stated, yet the primary reason for her being sent home is the eating of chocolate discovered after a private letter was read by a teacher.

What kind of example does this mail reading inflexible approach to petty rules set children?

Billy Bunter would most certainly not have approved!

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Nanny Bans Porn

I see that Cameron is to make a speech today in which he will say that every internet user in the country will be asked whether they want to have access to pornography; ie there will be an automatic block on porn until the users tell their ISPs that they want the block removed.

Anyone care to define "porn"; eg will those searching for pictures of "Blue Tits" be banned from viewing the images?

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Heatwave Brings Out The Cretins

As the ongoing "heatwave" continues, and vast swathes of the land are blanketed in a "level 3" weather alert, I was gemused to see that despite all the warnings issued by Nanny wrt safety some people still manage to prove themselves remarkably adept at being slack jawed cretins.

Step forward the "bright spark" who placed a still hot portable barbecue into a temporary yellow plastic bin on Brighton beach yesterday evening.

Can you guess what happened children?

Yes, that's right, the bin caught fire!

The beach lifeguards then came and cordoned off the burning plastic mound with hazard tape, the fire brigade then turned up and squirted some water over it from hand operated back pumps.

It beats me how the human race has managed to survive this long, given some individuals' propensity to act like cretins.

Stay cool folks!

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Chillaxing

In honour of the ongoing "heatwave" the Red Stripes and vodka are chilling!

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Level Three Heatwave Shock

As Britain enjoys the longest heatwave since 1384, I am gemused to see that Nanny is considering a level three alert whereby safety reviews will have to be conducted at all public events etc etc.

Labour have in fact gone one further, and suggested that workers be sent home if it is too hot.

FFS!

How would these people cope in genuinely hot countries, where the temperature is in the mid thirties or higher?

When I was a lad, enduring double Latin on a Friday afternoon in the height of Summer, the only concessions made to the temperature were a relaxation of the dress code (namely we could take our jackets off, but most certainly not remove our ties!) and the class taken outside to the grounds where we would construe De Bello Gallico and get skin cancer.

Fast forward to adulthood, and this summer I have addressed the "heat" issue by sitting in the mid day sun, going to the gym in the early evening then sitting in a sauna/steam room; after which downing four cans of Red Stripe and a chilled vodka.

Works like a charm!

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Nanny Bans High Five

My sympathies to Roger Green, a lollipop man who works outside Sandy Lane Primary School in Bracknell, who has been banned by Nanny's chums from Bracknell Forest Borough Council from "high-fiving" the kids as they cross the road.

For why?

Health and safety!

Bracknell Forest Borough Council are quoted by The Sun:

“Children stopping as they cross the road for a ‘high-five’ puts them and the patrolman at risk and confuses drivers.

Parents wouldn’t thank us if we let this continue.”

An overreaction methinks.

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Nanny Bans Packed Lunches

I am ungemused to see that Nanny is sticking nose into kids' lunch boxes again and, now that turkey twizzlers have been banned from school canteens, wants packed lunches banned so that kids are forced to eat school dinners.

Seemingly a Nanny commissioned school food review by two founders of the Leon restaurant chain says take-up is low at 43%, despite huge quality improvements.

Packed lunches are nearly always less nutritious than a cooked meal, say the authors of the School Food Plan.

Leon has been working on a plan for the food that is served in schools for Michael Gove & The Department of Education.

Leon founder Henry Dimbleby is quoted by the BBC:

"We do need to make packed lunch the less attractive option."

Nanny's Education Secretary Michael Gove said:

"What I'd like to see is more children eating school lunches and fewer having packed lunches, and more children feeling healthier and more energetic throughout the day."

All very nice I dare say, but when I was a lad I was happy enough opting out of school dinners and having a packed lunch.

A diet of banana sandwiches et al, chocolate cup cakes and crisps did not turn me into a lard bucket and my intellectual capabilities were unimpeded by the lack of over boiled cabbage in my diet.

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The Joy of Fags

I am gemused to see that Nanny's plans for plain fag packets have been shelved.

Cue the onset of whining from the health and safety brigade who, once fags are banned, will move swiftly to ban booze.

Oh, and on that note, it is rumoured that Nanny has also shelved her plans for banning multi drink discount deals. Well, we do still live in a free market economy (allegedly!).



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Nanny Bans Bonny Babies

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to an absurd piece of Nanny nonsense going on in Devizes, where the organisers of the annual carnival have decided to ban the Bonny Baby contest.

For why?

Carnival organisers are worried that it is unfair to the babies who are not selected as being "bonny".

Ermm how would a baby know that?

Also, if the parents don't wish to enter their babies then they don't have to, it's not compulsory!

Good news though, in the face of "political correctness gone mad" local mothers have launched their own unofficial bonny baby contest which will, according to the Mail, take place four days before the carnival.

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The Dangers of Foxes

I was gemused to read an article in the News Shopper about an alleged incident between Anthony Schofiled and a fox, whilst Mr Schofiled was sitting upon the toilet in his home in Catford.

Mr Schofield claims he was quietly going about his business in the little boys’ room on July 1 when the mangy creature strutted in before mauling him, his partner and his pet cat.

The startled 49-year-old leapt up from the bog with his trousers around his ankles before pursuing the creature around the living room in a farcical fox chase.

Quote:

"I didn’t even have time to wipe myself.

I just had to chase after it. It was so quick.

The fox had pushed its nose through the door. I jumped off the toilet.

In the meantime it had run into the front room and got the cat.

It had the cat round the neck. She was in shock, bleeding from her face.

It locked itself onto my arm but still had the cat as well. "It was unbelievable - the strength in the little thing.

There was blood everywhere.

It was like a struggle for my life." 

He added:

"It was so frightening.

It was like a wild animal."

Errmm..foxes are wild animals are they not?

This is exactly the sort of thing that happens when you ban hunting!;)

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Nanny Bans Billy The Trumpet

My thanks to a loyal reader who has pointed out that Nanny's chums from Nottinghamshire have banned the Barmy Army trumpeter, Billy Cooper, from the first Investec Test at Trent Bridge.

The England side are appealing for a relaxation of the ban, as they consider him "the unspoken 12th man."

Nottinghamshire justify the ban on the basis of their blanket ban on musical instruments, which is stated on match tickets and, that being so, they could face requests for refunds from supporters who object to Cooper's playlist. 

However, espncricinfo note that the ECB is thought to have some sympathy with Cooper's commitment to England's cause and respect for his professional playing ability.

One compromise suggested is that Billy The Trumpet plays from the balcony of the Trent Bridge Inn behind the ground, something which Nottinghamshire could not control, or even an official guest spot during an interval. 

Views ladies and gentlemen?

 

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Danger! Danger! - In Honour of Tonk

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Mad Dogs and Englishmen

I am gemused to see that as Britain "basks" for a few days in temperatures barely reaching 28 degrees (as other countries face 40 degrees or more), Nanny has rushed to warn us all of the dangers of heat.

Not just the basic warnings about sunstroke, dehydration and sunburn but loads of other hazards associated with sunshine eg:

- fire services have warned about fire hazards and burn hazards emanating from BBQ's
- ambulance services have warned about the dangers of drinking too much booze
- the NHS has warned about the dangers of food poisoning from undercooked BBQ food
- the RNLI have warned about the dangers of swimming etc etc

I wonder how it is as a nation we ever survived previous summers?

I am old enough to remember the great drought of 1976, the nation managed to get through that unscathed; I am sure that we can just about survive the next few days of modestly warm temperatures!

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Manners Maketh Man and Sainsbury's

One of the by-products of living in the Nanny state, wherein self responsibility and the consequences of our actions have been eradicated by the state, is the general lack of manners that pervades society; manners after all indicate that we have empathy and respect for others, and that we are cognisant that our actions and words affect others.

Thus is is interesting to see the debate that has sprung up over an incident in Sainsbury's Crayford the other day, where a checkout lady refused to serve a customer (Jo Clarke) who was talking on her mobile phone. Sainsbury's, at the time, sent the customer a £10 voucher along with an apology. However, as sometimes happens with "small" incidents, the story has rather gained traction and the BBC has gained sight of a letter from Sainsbury's:

"It is clear this story has touched a nerve as the weight of comment shows.

However, we are also pleased that this specific story is leading to a wider debate on politeness....

...the discussion this has created leads us all to think twice before reaching for our mobile phones and to recognise the great job the many thousands of sales assistants working across retail do.."

Seemingly the Sainsbury's worker told Ms Clarke that it was company policy not to serve people who were occupied with their mobile phones, but that was denied at the time by the company.

I have a simple view on this, it is rude RUDE to talk on a mobile when interacting with another human being.

PERIOD!

There is a certain type of person who seems to regard shop assistants, waiters etc etc as second class citizens who do not deserve to be treated with the same courtesy as others. At this point we can all come up with examples of rude sales staff, waiters etc. However, that does not mean we should tar all staff with the same brush.

Manners are there for all, whether you are royalty or someone who is down on their luck sleeping on a park bench. Treat people with the same courtesy and respect as you would wish to be treated yourself!

Miss Clarke's response to the furore:

"I think everybody’s been guilty of it (using a mobile at a checkout) sometime in their life – that’s how it is.”

Well I haven't, have you?

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Nanny Loves Little Weed

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me in the direction of this letter published by This Is Grimsby, about the EU banning weedkillers because weeds have as much right to life as any other plant:

"I was in a garden centre the other day, trying in vain to buy an effective and persistent weed killer for the weeds on my driveway.

All those on sale were branded but it was quite difficult to ascertain exactly what the constituents were.

I enquired at the sales desk for one that I have used for many years, only to be told that due to a recent directive from the European Commission, weed killers that actually do the job are no longer permitted since these curtail the vegetational rights of the weeds.

It would appear that weeds, or wild flowers, have the rights to grow where they wish, flower, seed and bear fruit, this is in order to maintain their rights to a full family life! The garden centre staff member kept a straight face and assured me that this was indeed the latest idiocy from Brussels.

I feel that this must be a send-up for our silly politicians, as Europe must surely consider them daft enough to fall for this, hook, line and sinker. I think they probably have, because effective weed killers seem to be no longer available.

I personally think that if they were any good there would be no need to advertise them, as they would sell themselves by customer recommendation.

This would seem to be yet another reason for us to quit the European Union.
GE Judd, Clyfton Crescent, Immingham."

Doubtless this is a wind up by the writer, or a major misinterpretation of EU rules by the garden centre. However, seemingly some councils have followed an EU directive about certain weedkillers being forbidden until the weed grows to the size of a "small man".

As per Gavin Maclure:

"The EU HAS banned a particular herbicide which would stop the weeds by the side of the pavements in Ipswich growing to the size of small trees, which was until circa 2008 sprayed at the beginning of spring to kill the weeds before they grew out of control.

Because of the pernicious EU directive, Ipswich Borough Council along with all other local authorities in the UK (other countries just ignore the Directive) now can only spray weed killer on to the ugly green things once the weeds are about the size of a small man, which is during the summer months. A different herbicide is used once the weeds are grown, which isn’t banned by our unelected leaders in Brussels.

So this explains why some readers have seen the council’s man driving along the pavements in their weed killing buggy and others still have to hack their way past their front-gate to get to their home. Eventually, Ipswich Borough Council will get round to spraying all the weeds in the town on public pavements and paths."

The EU is the biggest weed growing on the planet, it is about time someone cut it down!

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Nanny Bans Clock Winding

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to some absurd Nanny nonsense concerning the goings on in Haworth (West Yorkshire) and its church clock at St Michael and All Angels Church, erected (can I say "erected" before 21:00?) in 1863.

For the last 23 years Jens Hislop has climbed the steps of the church several times a week to wind the clock.

Not anymore!

For why?

An insurance inspection declared that Mr Hislop’s stepladder and winding platform - which have been at the church for decades - were unsafe, and the clock has been stuck at 5:20 since February.

Mr Hislop cannot touch the clock again until £1,000 of safety work on the joinery has been carried out!

He is quoted by the Mail:

"I have been looking after the clock for 23 years and it has gone like clockwork. Then we had an insurance assessment and now health and safety has kicked in. 

I personally don’t think it is unsafe. But they say it’s dangerous. The clock is in perfect working order but has been stopped since February. It is crazy.

The platform is only 10ft off the floor and the wooden step ladder was here when I started 23 years ago and is no different now to what it was then."

As ever, the insurance industry wins!

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Nanny Bans Sticks

I sometimes wonder if Nanny will one day cease to surprise me with her absurd risk averse advice and rulings.

The answer, thus far, is no she has not ceased to surprise me.

Today I read with some incredulity.....the exact phrase was "FFS!"...... that throwing sticks for your dog to chase is in fact a health and safety risk to dogs.

Robin Hargreaves, President elect of the British Veterinary Association, said owners risk causing 'horrendous problems’ to their pets.

I don't doubt that on occasions accidents with wooden sticks happen, but people have been throwing wooden sticks for their dogs to chase for centuries without the mass extinction of the dog population occurring.

Now, we are being told that dogs should only play with rubber sticks!

Mr Hargreaves is quoted by the Telegraph:

“Never throw sticks for dogs.

It is a violent incident that causes real damage. We have some horrendous problems. Even if you do it now, never do it again.”

The most common injury occurs when a dog runs onto a stick in the ground, forcing it down their throat and cutting under the tongue or even tearing the gullet further back.

“It is very painful.

Imagine ramming a toothbrush at the end of your mouth except it is spiky and sharp.

Every generation thinks throwing a stick to a dog is the best thing. It never seems to get into national psyche it is a bad thing to do. Use a ball, rubber bones or soft toys.” 

I am a pussy lover myself, but am aware that dogs are exposed to all manner of risks, aside from wooden sticks, they are more than happy to chew slippers and other shit that can hardly be considering to be healthy.

What should a dog (or cat) owner do, remove all forms of stimulation so that the dog (cat) doesn't injure itself?

I know that we do that for our kids these days, but surely the dogs (and cats) can be left to enjoy their lives as nature intended?

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The Joy of Window Cleaning

I am a tad confused about a recent health and safety fine issued by Nanny, in relation to a remarkably daft and dangerous piece of window cleaning.

Loch Fyne, a restaurant and hotel firm has been fined £15,000 after a window cleaner was filmed balancing precariously on a ledge outside one of its buildings.

Loch Fyne admitted one breach of health and safety law and was also ordered to pay costs of £3,023.
Self-employed window cleaner Wayne Mallon was also fined £2,000.

The BBC reports that Mallon was seen climbing along the ledges of the third floor of the Milsoms Hotel building (owned by Loch Fyne) in Bath without ladders or safety equipment.

Mallon, of Whiteway, Bath, who works for Terry Mallon and Sons Cleaning Services, pleaded guilty to three health and safety charges at Bath Magistrates' Court.

Mallon was filmed dicing with death at the hotel last September, and the footage came to the attention of the health and safety team at Bath and North East Somerset Council (Banes) which brought charges against Mallon and Loch Fyne.

Now I can understand that Mallon's firm should have been prosecuted for endangering him, and that Mallon should have been prosecuted for being an idiot; but I do not understand why the hotel was prosecuted, given that the hotel had hired a professional firm which was being paid to do a professional job.

After all, if people are made to be responsible for the actions/stupidity of a third party "professional" then there is no point at all in ever hiring a professional and paying fees to the professional as one may as well do the job (botched as it may be) oneself!


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