Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Nanny's Safe Christmas

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to Nanny's annual "Have a Safe Christmas" roadshow in Wokingham.

As per Get Wokingham:
"The annual Have a Safe Christmas roadshow returns with a series of events across the borough.

The event, run by Wokingham Borough Council, offers people the chance to meet emergency services, trading standards and the community safety team to find out how to stay safe over the festive period.

Roadshows take place at:
In ASDA, in Chalfont Way, Lower Earley, on Thursday, November 29, from 10am to 1pm.
In Tesco, in Finchampstead Road, Wokingham, on Friday, November 30, from 10am to 1pm.
In Sainsbury’s, in King Street Lane, Winnersh, on Wednesday, December 5, from 10am to 1pm.

Trading standards officers will provide information about counterfeit goods and rogue traders. 

Royal Berkshire Fire and Rescue Service will have information about candle safety and checking Christmas lights."
This is all very well intentioned, I am sure.

However, do people not already know that candles can, if improperly positioned etc, present a fire hazard?

Do people not realise that a cheap gift from a dodgy trader may well not be safe? etc etc.

How did we survive Christams before Nanny came along?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries


  1. Tonk.4:15 PM

    It may well be worth attending just to take the piss!

    I may go, and keeping a straight face and putting on my best anorak voice, ask:

    "After I have cooked the turkey, do you think I should put on a hi-viz jacker to transfer the said turkey from the oven to the dining table, so that my guests can clearly see me with the hot turkey?"


    "When I decide to light the brandy on the Christmas pudding, should I have the Fire and Rescue Service on standby just in case the fire from the desert spoon of brandy gets out of control?"

    What winds me up more is that I am paying for this roadshow via my council tax......Grrrrrrrr

  2. In the spirit of inclusivity I intend to invite the guys, gals and transgendered of Wokinghams community safety team home to spend Xmas Day with me. We could start with a bit of CofE Religion, smoking indoors, drinking too much, giving the kids innapropriate presents, eating evil food, doing zero exercise and telling mildly racist jokes before collapsing while watching Her Majesty on telly.