Happy New Year!

Despite Nanny's health service telling us to avoid hangovers by not drinking, I intend to have one or two today.

On that note I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a happy, healthy, peaceful and prosperous 2015!

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Everything is bad For You

 
Despite the fact, or because, the festive season is still in full swing Nanny can't help but lecture us about our lifestyles. Included on the list of things that she is targeting during the festive season are:

- smoking (it rots everything)
- eating (we are too fat)
- drinking (we are alcoholics) etc etc

That pretty well covers all things that people do.

It should be noted though that our lords and masters all do rather well in the Palarse of Westminster at our expense, in subsidised bars and restaurants (wherein I believe they are allowed to smoke - in certain parts). During Christmas they are of course stuffing their fat faces in their country piles!

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Nanny Hated By 80% of Brits

A survey carried out by ComRes has found that more than 80 per cent of those questioned, excluding ‘don’t knows’, believe it should be down to individuals to make their own lifestyle choices without official interference from Government; ie they loath Nanny..

The survey also noted significant opposition to stealth “sin taxes” on products such as tobacco, alcohol or sugary drinks.

The only surprise here is that 20% of people approve of Nanny.

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Merry Christmas

Have it large this Christmas everyone!

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All Hail Our EU Overlords

According to Euro Nanny, being obese must now be classified as a disability.


The consequences?
Employers etc must provide larger seating, special parking spaces etc.


Bollocks!!!
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Drink More To Prevent Dementia

Despite Nanny haranguing us about our drinking habits, it seems that drinking actually helps stave off dementia.

That is the conclusion of Age UK, based on a 30 year study.

Hoozah, I'll drink to that!

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Nanny's NHS Christmas Party

My commiserations to the good people of Brighton and Sussex University Hospitals NHS Trust, who have been sent an edict by Nanny's equality and diversity team about how to hold their Christmas parties.

In brief the edict says:

1 Choose a time that is friendly to mothers, lest someone sues for discrimination (what sort of people sue because they can't attend a party?)

2 Avoid pubs. For why? Lest there be age discrimination (for the wee kiddies under 18 who work in our hospitals).

3 Cater (foodwise) for all religions and "disabled staff".

4 Make sure the date doesn't clash with other religious festivals (why?, isn't Christmas meant to be a "Christian" thing?)

5 Carry out a risk assessment (pass the sick bag someone!)

6 Don't skive off the next day with a hangover (in other words, come to work and perform an operation whilst drunk!). Good advice!!

The edict also lists contact details for three companies providing interpreting services, as well as an out-of-hours contact for an organisation specialising in sign language and lip-reading for the deaf.

What a truly ghastly way to organise a party, I certainly wouldn't want to go to one of these!

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Nanny's Nice Little Earner - Parking Charges

Nanny is suffering these days, because we are not earning enough to pay for her ever increasing cash needs. Thus, as taxes are not doing the job, she has found another way to milk us dry.

Parking charges and fines!

The Telegraph reports that results of an RAC survey found in 2013/14, Nanny's councils in England made a combined "profit" of £667 million from their on and off-street parking operations. This was 12% more than the 2012/13 figure of £594 million, with 44% of the 2013/14 total being generated by councils in London, the foundation said.

The figures were calculated by adding up income from parking charges and penalty notices, then deducting running costs.

The five biggest "earners" were all London authorities. However, the Green "paradise" of Brighton and Hove stormed in at number 6 earning £18M.

Well done lads!

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Hoh Hoh Hoh - Australian Nanny Bans Santa

My commiserations to the good people of Australia who have to endure Nannyism every bit as annoying as our Nannyism.

Now that we are approaching the season of goodwill etc, it should come as no surprise to learn that Australian Nanny wants to ban the traditional activity of kids sitting on the lap of an overweight, red faced stranger.

Step forward child protection activist (what is a child protection activist, is this an official role or something that she has made up?) Hetty Johnston who is quoted by The Courier Mail:

“What we would like to see is shopping centre owners updating their child protection policies.

The directive would be for children to stand beside Santa, unless parents or children request to sit on his knee. Shopping centres have duty of care to protect children on premises.”

Given that the knee sitting takes place in front of the kid's parents and assorted elves etc, what exactly does she think Santa is going to do to the kids?

The lesson that the kids will learn is to never trust any adult. That is not a healthy lesson!

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Nanny To Steam All Chickens

Oh dear I sere that because some people are clueless about how to handle and cook chicken safely, and have given themselves food poisoning, Nanny's chums from the supermarkets are considering freezing or steaming all chickens that they sell.

This of course buggers up the texture, looks and flavour of the chicken.

This hysteria is as a result of a recent report by the Food Standards Agency (FSA), that noted that 18% of birds in supermarkets contained dangerously high levels of campylobacter.

So what?

Those who handle and cook their birds properly will not be poisoned by this.

Why should the actions of the incompetent penalise the competent?

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Knobhead of The Millennium

Kudos to the utter knobhead who tried to spam the comments section of this site with an advert for his health and safety review service.

Clearly he has not read this site, nor understood its target audience!

Hence he is well deserving of the ward Knobhead of The Millennium.


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Nanny Bans Operations For Smokers and The Obese

I see that Nanny's chums from NHS Devon have decreed that smokers and the morbidly obese in Devon will be denied routine surgery, unless they quit smoking or lose weight. Specifically patients with a BMI of 35 or above will have to shed 5% of their weight, while smokers will have to quit eight weeks before surgery.

This might be all very well and dandy for those of us who are not obese and who don't smoke. However, here's why it's farking disgraceful:

1 BMI is an arbitrary bollocks indicator of obesity, and should not be used as a criteria for assessing fatness.

2 The NHS, the last time I looked, provides universal health care. These restrictions are fundamentally contrary to the principles of the NHS.

3 Smokers pay tax on the fags they smoke, are they not already therefore providing extra funding for their health issues from their smoking habit?

4 This is but the thin end of the wedge. As we all know Nanny has bees in her bonnet wrt eating, drinking, lifestyle etc. In the event that NHS Devon is allowed to get away with this, Nanny will target those who drink and eat fat/sugar for "lifestyle changes" before allowing them to receive medical help for which they have paid taxes.

Ignore this at your peril, one day Nanny will identify something that you do that she will classify as a "health risk"!

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Prats of The Week - Pembrokeshire Council

Kudos to Pembrokeshire council for winning this week's Prats of The Week Award.

For why did they win it?

They were spectacularly prattish in wasting taxpayers' money wrt Bryn Parry-Jones a former council CEO who, apart from being at the centre of a row over cash payments made in lieu of pension contributions, was also given a luxury £90,000 Porsche as his work vehicle.

Wales Online reports that Parry-Jones walked away from his job with a golden handshake deal worth £280,000 after an 11th hour attempt to stop it failed.

The former chief executive left his post on 31 October.
 

Parry-Jones, the highest paid local authority chief executive in Wales, has been mired in controversy since the Wales Audit Office ruled cash payments given to him in lieu of pension contributions were unlawful . 

Police inquiries into the payments were dropped after no evidence was found of criminal offences.

Parry-Jones was the highest paid council chief executive in Wales with a salary of almost £195,000 plus benefits.

Pembrokeshire council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Drink More Vodka

I see that Duncan Selbie, one of Nanny's chums from the head of Public Health England, has issued a dire warning that drinking a glass of wine after work does the same harm as drinking three shots of vodka.

Selbie claims that deaths from liver disease of working age people have increased by 500% since the 1970s because many arrive home, "pour a glass and have no idea how much they are drinking". 

 

MPs say that people are safer enjoying an alcoholic drink in their local pub as measures are controlled rather than buying large quantities of wine at "rock bottom prices" in supermarkets and drinking in a "non-sociable atmosphere away from people's communities".

That's a laugh, considering these hypocrites enjoy drinking taxpayers' subsidised booze in Westminster bars where they never have to get off their fat backsides to leave the building (unless they are off to a drug fuelled orgy in Dolphin Square).

Tracey Crouch MP, the former chair of the All Parliamentary Alcohol Misuse Group, is quoted by the Telegraph:

"The middle class professional is coming home of an evening and pouring themselves a glass of wine with dinner, and then possibly another after that, without realising that over the course of a week it can tot up to more than what is medically advised. 

I'm really pleased that Public Health England has raised this, because raising awareness of this is not about telling people they cannot drink, it is about getting people to understand the drinking habits they have, and it does become a habit, it becomes a habitual part of your evening rather than some sort of special occasion when people enjoy a glass of wine. 

People will see it is a very different thing pouring a glass of wine to pouring a three measure vodka, but this is why it's important to have calorific content on the labels - you wouldn't pour three shots of vodka but you also wouldn't sit down and eat six doughnuts either - but you tend to pour yourself a large measure of wine not a small glass."

MPs sit down all day boozing away in subsidised bars, please explain how that is better than someone who actually works coming home and pouring themselves a drink?

Anyhoo, the solution is easy; drink vodka instead of wine, or dilute your wine with vodka.

Simples!

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Nanny Brand Throws a Wobbly

Proof that some celebrities/pseudo politicians who claim to seek to improve the lives of others are a tad hypocritical.

I dare say someone will find out the value of Russell Brand's house, and indeed who he rents it from.

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Feed Your Baby Quavers!

As we all know, Nanny is obsessed with how much we eat and the high sugar content of our diet. As such, she has bombarded us with propaganda warning us about obesity etc.

I was therefore a tad surprised the other day, to read that Nanny's chums in the NHS are telling some mothers to feed babies junk food to help them overcome feeding problems.

Leaflets distributed by Poole Hospital NHS Foundation Trust to families attending feeding clinic appointments with young children recommend feeding babies aged over eight months crisps, chocolate bars, fried foods and sugary sweets.

The Telegraph notes that the leaflet suggests “finger foods” under three categories: “Bite and Dissolve”, “Bite and Squash/Suck” and “Easy Chew Food”. Wotsits, Quavers, Skips and Pom-Bears are among the crisps to feature under “Bite and Dissolve”, as well as Mini Cheddars and meringue.

The document states that Kit Kats, Crunchies, Milky Bars and Ripple chocolate bars are also suitable “if a child sucks food well”.

The leaflet also recommends fried onion rings, Flumps, Turkish Delight and Iced Gems.

Tracey Nutter (no puns please), director of nursing at Poole Hospital NHS Foundation Trust, said that the leaflet was the “first of several documents given to a small number of parents with babies and toddlers who have significant feeding problems and are failing to progress onto solid food for a variety of medical or developmental reasons.....not intended as meal replacements or as a means to put on weight.”

Call me old fashioned, but the advice sounds bollocks to me. Most certainly it will further confuse those who are subjected to the daily bombardment of Nanny's food/drink/health propaganda.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries