Nanny Bans "Darling"

Today, in case you didn't know, is International Women's Day (it is also British Pie Week!).

In keeping with such, Euro Nanny has today decreed that wolf-whistles or calling someone 'darling' is now a crime which may get you arrested (according to Julia Gray anyway).

The ladies in my local market refer to me as "darling".

Are they committing a crime?

Anyhoo Cameron will today sign up to new laws in the Council of Europe's convention on violence against women.

Julia Gray, founder of the London branch of anti street harassment group Hollaback, rather trivialises the issue of violence (thus undermining the intended impact of the legalisation) and is quoted in the Guardian:

'The way we see it is if you want to tackle it you tackle all of it – you say no to all forms of unwanted sexual harassment; that includes wolf-whistling, comments, everything.'

Lucky that Charlie Drake isn't still around then!

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Nanny Unbans Jolly Roger

Last Friday I wrote about prats from east Lindsey District Council banning a child from flying the Jolly Roger flag in his parents' garden:

"Anthony Steele (7 years old) has been targeted by Nanny's chums from East Lindsey Council.

For why?

He was flying a toy Jolly Roger flag (on a fishing pole) in his parent's garden.

What's wrong with that?

Well me hearties, Nanny believes that the skull and crossbones breaches advertising laws (what?), and have banned him from flying it!

Excuse me, how the hell does the skull and crossbones breach advertising laws?

It's not as though he is a real pirate advertising his pirating skills is he?

Anyhoo , notwithstanding that bleedin' obvious point, Nanny has told Anthony's parents that they face legal action unless they take it down."

Several loyal readers speculated that once the publicity hit home to the council, and they realised that they had been exposed to the world as being utter knobheads, that the council would wimp out and backtrack.

Well, surprise surprise!

East Lindsey District Council has indeed backtracked.

The council has now apologised to the family, and admitted the letter had been "over the top"

It has sent the family an official apology, saying that no further action would be taken.

The council has proven itself to be useless and spineless.

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Nanny Bans Handshakes

I see the knobheads in the British Olympics Association (BOA) have banned our athletes from shaking hands during the Olympics, lest they catch a bug.

We are the only nation imposing such a ban.

Make you feel proud to be British doesn't it?

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Knobheads - Unison

Congratulations to Unison (the UK's largest public sector union) for showing the world how to excel at knobheadery.

Almost 5 years ago four hard left trade unionists became somewhat irked at how Unison was being run, and decided to publish a satirical leaflet which used an image of the three wise monkeys (hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil).

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, one member of the 15 member ruling committee of Unison decided that the image was racist.

The group of four, as they were not intending in any way to be racists, apologised profusely for inadvertently causing offence.

Was an apology enough for Unison?

No!

It then began a full scale investigation, and banned the four from holding office.

Almost five years later, at the costs of £200K in legal fees, an Employment Appeal Tribunal (at the tribunal, Unison insisted the leaflet was racist) ruled in favour of the four and criticised the union’s reaction.

I wonder if the members of Unison are best pleased with their union subs being wasted on this knobheadery?

 

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Nanny Bans Jolly Roger

Poor old Roger, what harm has he ever done anyone apart from being "Jolly"?

Sadly Nanny doesn't see it that way, and has decided to ban him.

Anthony Steele (7 years old) has been targeted by Nanny's chums from East Lindsey Council.

For why?

He was flying a toy Jolly Roger flag (on a fishing pole) in his parent's garden.

What's wrong with that?

Well me hearties, Nanny believes that the skull and crossbones breaches advertising laws (what?), and have banned him from flying it!

Excuse me, how the hell does the skull and crossbones breach advertising laws?

It's not as though he is a real pirate advertising his pirating skills is he?

Anyhoo, notwithstanding that bleedin' obvious point, Nanny has told Anthony's parents that they face legal action unless they take it down.

How did the council find out about the flag?

They have spies everywhere.

Some sad git reported it!

Why?

On the subject of pirate flags, now that we are approaching the anniversary of the Falklands war, I wonder if East Lindsey Council would have dared to tell the guys on HMS Conqueror that their flying of the skull and crossbones constituted a breach in advertising laws?

No, I thought not!

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Nanny Bans "Sofa King Low"

I cannot but help guffaw (can I say "guffaw" before the watershed?) in a very loud fashion at the ludicrous prissiness of Nanny's chums in the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), who have got their knickers in a right old twist over a Northamptonshire sofa firm's slogan.

What is the slogan?

Sofa King Low!

Splendid!

This slogan, quite rightly, has been used by the company on all its adverts, vehicles etc.

Unfortunately, dear old Nanny ASA got rather uppity about it and has branded "offensive" and has banned the combination of words.

This of course, aside from being absolutely ridiculous, gives the sofa company an enormous amount of free PR.

Oh, by the way, ASA's decision to ban it is in fact even more ridiculous than for the reasons outlined above.

For why?

Well you see, the company has been using "Sofa King Low" for the last ten years.

In fact the police wasted time and resources investigating complaints about it in 2004 (yes seriously, the police actually wasted time on this!), yet came to the conclusion there was "no crime".

Why now did ASA waste its time, and make a fool out of itself over this issue?

Three readers (yes, three sad readers) of the Northampton Herald and Post complained that it was offensive.

What sad empty lives some people lead!

Where were these saddos when French Connection came up with FCUK, or Brain's Faggots, or my late grandfather's favourite baccy "Digger's Shag"??

Anyone care to come up with a new slogan for the company, that will annoy even more people?

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