Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Electric Commode

The Electric Commode

Way back in 2004 I designed a special new security chair, The Electric Commode, to be used by airlines when transporting their customers from "A" to "B".

The device ensures that the customer is well and truly strapped in during the flight, with no chance of moving around and causing a potential terrorist incident.

Following the actions of that complete and utter knobhead from Nigeria, who attempted to detonate his own underpants, the new security measures being introduced by US bound airlines include toilet restrictions.

Sadly, it seems, my design (especially the commode part) will come to fruition and be onboard some airlines in the not too distant future.

Short of injecting every passenger with a coma inducing sedative, for the duration of the flight, there is little else that airlines can do to prevent passengers from moving around other than strap them in.

BTW, even this and full body searches won't stop the determined knobhead intent on killing him/herself. There is an obvious method, which I will not discuss (lest I give some moron an idea), for concealing explosives etc.

My views on terrorism and religion are noted on my Blue Blog.

It is sad that "religion" is used as an excuse to kill more people than any other of man's "beliefs/traditions/addictions/habits".

Postcards of the above design can be purchased here Electric Commode Postcards.

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  1. Terrorists seek to disrupt the lives of people and put them in a constant state of fear; Taking this as the aim of terrorists, I would suggest they have been succesful in fulfilling their aims.....The inconvenience and disruption caused by increased knee jerk security measures to people going about their everyday business, illustrates the terroists have obtained their goal.

    It has been suggested that Islam will bankrupt the West and that is how they will win.....I think they are well on their way to that victory.

  2. Errrmmm . . . perhaps not everybody should be allowed to fly. I have this antediluvian notion that private companies have the right to determine with whom they will and will not transact business. Let the airlines decide which passengers -- or categories of passengers -- to accept based on background, nation of origin, "profile" or whatever criteria they choose.

    Would this be unfair (in the cosmic sense) to those not engaged in or drawn toward terrorist activities? Yep, but cosmic justice is for the gods to dispense. Nobody has a right to a visa to a foreign country. In my opinion, nobody has the right to avail themselves of the services of an air carrier, unless the air carrier agrees to sell them a ticket. It may be that some groups of people are simply too dangerous to admit into one's country, or onto one's airplane, even though the vast majority of those people pose no particular threat. To them I would say, amend your own society, and in the mean time, stay home.

    Such a policy would, by the way, open an excellent business opportunity to an "Islamic" airline which could offer flights to otherwise excluded passengers at a nice hefty mark up.

  3. It all looks very nice, Ken, but the smell on long haul flights will be terrible.

    And Tonk, I don't believe for one moment that all these enhanced security measures are motivated solely by fear. They are a highly convenient way for our masters (and mistresses) to keep us cowed and subdued. The piddling school lab type antics of clumsy amateur would-be terrorists are merely an excuse. If there really were hundreds of determined terrorists within our shores they would have pulled off something much more spectacular by now. These wacky Islamists are a feeble joke compared to the IRA.

  4. Ken, I entirely agree with your Blue Blog comment, but couldn't you come up with a stronger request than "desist"?

    I can think of several much fruitier suggestions, such as "go jump in a lake of fire and brimstone with Donald Rumsfeld".....

  5. microdave7:04 PM

    "Such a policy would, by the way, open an excellent business opportunity to an "Islamic" airline which could offer flights to otherwise excluded passengers at a nice hefty mark up."

    An great idea, with one proviso: They would only be allowed to fly over Muslim countries. That way, given time, they should eventually blow them selves all up....

  6. Anonymous10:22 AM

    'It has been suggested that Islam will bankrupt the West and that is how they will win.....I think they are well on their way to that victory.'

    Tonk, i wouldn't even worry about that - they'll outbreed us within 2 generations.

  7. Anticant;

    Just for clarity;
    I believe Nanny, aided and abetted by the MSM, are using the threat of terror to justify further restrictions on both our freedom and what's left of our democracy.
    Nanny, again assisted by her MSM chums, uses four issues to intrude further and further into our lives and restrict further our liberties......The four current coveralls are terror, climate change, elf'n'safety and child protection.

    Regarding terror; The terrorist are winning because, as a nation, we live in fear and endure much interference in how we go about our lives because of the percieved threat.......This fear has been put into the population's minds by Nanny and the MSM for their own agenda, in my view; Global government under the philosophy of global socialism. Labour is still a Socialist party at its roots and thus, at the heart of its principles is the need to control. As Hayek said, the only way to achieve socialism is through authoritarianism. We see that happening now in our country and throughout the EUSSR and indeed, under Saint Barrack of Obama, in the USA.

    You and I are of a similar age, therefore we can both remember the terror threat from the IRA from 1968 until very recently.....They managed to blow up half our government in Brighton.....They also managed to blow up many of our buildings and kill many of our police and soldiers but still we did not resort to putting more and more draconian measures in place to restrict the general population's freedom.
    In my opinion, the threat from the Irish terror groups was far more serious than the threat today. The simple solution to many of our terror problems would be more secure borders and less imigration, or at least stricter controls on who comes here and their reasons for coming.

    In summary, I believe Labour is using the threat of terror to implement further restrictions on our way of life and to build a police/authoritarian state.....The real juxta position for me is that we are going around the world with our big mate(The USA) trying to impose democracy on other nations whilst at the same time, we are having our own democracy destroyed.

    I would not want to be a young person today as I feel the future is very bleak.....Youngsters are indoctrinated into the ways of the state from a very young age, my youngest grandson starts school in April, he will be three years and three months old....He will stay at school until at least he is eighteen, during that time, Nanny will teach her phylosophies and indoctrinate him into her prefered ways.....He'll be used to CCTV watching his every move, he will become used to being told what he can and cannot eat, he will happily have his fingerprints used to gain access to his own school etc etc.....He will be taught how bad every adult is, unless approved by Nanny....I could go on.

    Britain has become a nasty place to live and my advice to anyone young enough and fit enough, is to get out now while you still can.

  8. Opps sorry…Typo….Just for the spelling police....... PHILOSOPHIES;-)

    I really must proof read my posts before submitting them!!!!

  9. Anonymous3:45 PM


    Agree totally with your last comment.

    The interesting thing about this case is that he boarded a flight in Nigeria, ultimately bound for America, paid for the ticket in cash on the day of travel and had no luggage.

    This apparently didn't arouse any suspicion, but the response is to mandate the use of perv scanners!

    I feel safer already.


  10. Lord Mandelscum of rent de bois5:27 PM

    I've got a firecracker in my underpants if any nice Brazilian rent boy wants to have a look.

  11. Anonymous7:08 PM

    Simple solution - introduce cross-searching. No need for anything high tech.

    I remember once being frisked in an American airport by a female security officer. She was thorough, methodical and good looking. I think it was a spare-of-the-moment decision to frisk everyone again and so it was a case of all hands to the pump at short notice.

    Airports could introduce a queue for early-adopters with everyone accepting the search will be thorough and in-depth with no mercy shown and no stone left unturned in the quest for absolute safety.

    The more squeamish could have one of those discreet see-through high-tech searches that the tabloids are now talking about.

    As we all know: if you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to fear.

  12. Anonymous 7:08 wrote:

    "remember once being frisked in an American airport by a female security officer. She was thorough, methodical and good looking."

    Hmm. Now that could be an excellent boost to tourism.

    Until then I will just skip any opportunities to visit the USA. After all they apparently issued a visa to this chap despite his Pop reporting him for odd behaviour some months ago.

    You can search everyone 100 times if that's what turns you one and keeps people cowed but don't ask me to accept that such approach is necessary for security when the background to the catalyst for such actions is clearly a monumental cock-up.

    Either that or this is one of the most blatant conspiracies promoted so far and 'they' are becoming so convinced of their controlling powers that they really don't care whether they are fooling the people or not, any of the time.

    Within hours of the reports appearing the press had a complete itemised travel plan from this chap's recent activities. Something stinks somewhere. I agree with Tonk that the 'non-western' states will be in effective control of the world quite soon unless things change rapidly - but only with the acquiescence of 'our' leaders. So what is it that drives them to seemingly seek the destruction of their people? Or is this a ruse that allows Obama to reduce people's travel (and CO2 output) whilst pushing the isolationist principles and justifying his turnabout continuation of the Afghan 'war'?

  13. What drives our leaders to seemingly seek the destruction of their people (i.e. us)?

    Because, as John Pilger so succinctly puts it, they are "terminally gormless":

    I won't be blogging or posting comments so frequently next year, so I take this opportunity of wishing Ken and his (usually) loyal readers all that you wish yourselves for 2010.

    Ken for No. 10?