Nanny Bans Heavy Balls

Ooh Err Missus!

Here's a saucy headline to start your week with....Nanny has banned heavy balls??? I hear you ejaculate (can I say "ejaculate" on a Monday morning?).

Surely not???

It is in fact true.

Just ask the hapless pupils at Malvern Primary School in Huyton, who have been banned from using synthetic/leather footballs in the playground.

For why?

Cos, my loyal readers, the balls are deemed by Nanny to be "too heavy" and the allegedly "feeble" and "weak" children of Huyton (in Liverpool) may injure themselves.

I assume then that cricket balls are most assuredly banned there as well?

Fear not though, the dim wits who came up with this daft ban have a solution.

Foam balls!

Yes, you did read that correctly, FOAM BALLS!

Is it any wonder kids sniff glue/fire extinguishers and get into bother, given that every aspect/freedom/joy of their lives is being regulated/monitored/destroyed by Nanny?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Swedish Nostalgia Prints

Yes folks, here is another shameless plug for Eva's Oh So Swedish enterprise.

She is now offering a selection of high quality Swedish Nostalgia Prints - 27 different pictures 15 cm x 21 cm.

Send them as a postcard, or frame them to hang on your walls!

Retro Swedish advert cards from the good, old 50's & 60's ranging from fizzy drinks, vanilla sugar, sweets, margarine, toothpaste, soap powder to motorbikes & bicycles, Volvo & Saab, Trans-Atlantic liner and greeting cards.

Here is a direct link to the gallery of prints Nostalgia

Nanny forbids you to buy these!;)

Thanks for your time,

Ken

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Snort! - Something For The Weekend?

Air pollution triggers more heart attacks than using cocaine and poses as high a risk of sparking a heart attack as alcohol, coffee and physical exertion (read more here).

LOL:)

Will Nanny be warning us not to breath in future then?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Barclays

From my Finance site today a wee post about bankers:

"Congratulations to Barclays for hitting a new reputational low.

They have chosen (based on a "commercial decision") to close my accounts, and end a banking relationship that I have had with them that is over 30 years old.

A remarkably inept policy!"

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Councils Are The Enemy of The People II

Yesterday I wrote:

"..Sprowston Parish Council is of the view that the £20 gifts represent a potential breach of the Bribery Act 2010 (intended to prevent corruption in foreign business deals involving UK firms).

The parish council deem these gifts to be a breach of that Act, even though Kenneth Clarke, the Justice Secretary, insisted the other week that the Act would not prevent businessmen and women from giving one another corporate hospitality such as days out watching rugby at Twickenham.

Sprowston Parish Council (who clearly believe that they know the law better than the Justice Secretary) are unmoved:

'Whilst the good intentions of some clubs to reward our staff for their work is appreciated, with the introduction of the Bribery Act 2010 it's requested that this practice ceases at it places the employee in a difficult position. I'm sure you will understand and respect this.'..."

I am gemused to read that the Ministry of Justice have now officially confirmed that:

"A Christmas tip for grounds staff would not constitute a bribe."

As said, anyone with half a brain could have told the council that.

Councils are the enemy of the people!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Councils Are The Enemy of The People

It never ceases to amaze me how brain dead our local councils have become over the years.

The members of Sprowston Recreation Ground Bowls Club (Norwich) found this out for themselves recently when they fell foul of Sprowston Parish Council, their local parish council.

The bowls club has, for many years, given staff £20 in cash or vouchers at Christmas to thank them for their efforts.

Fair enough?

Not if you are Sprowston Parish Council.

For you see loyal readers, Sprowston Parish Council is of the view that the £20 gifts represent a potential breach of the Bribery Act 2010 (intended to prevent corruption in foreign business deals involving UK firms).

The parish council deem these gifts to be a breach of that Act, even though Kenneth Clarke, the Justice Secretary, insisted the other week that the Act would not prevent businessmen and women from giving one another corporate hospitality such as days out watching rugby at Twickenham.

Sprowston Parish Council (who clearly believe that they know the law better than the Justice Secretary) are unmoved:

"Whilst the good intentions of some clubs to reward our staff for their work is appreciated, with the introduction of the Bribery Act 2010 it's requested that this practice ceases at it places the employee in a difficult position. I'm sure you will understand and respect this."

Anyone with half a brain can see that gifts of £20 are not in the same category as bribes to dodgy foreign governments and businessmen. However, as has been seen many times on this site, councils and certain "jobsworths" do not have half a brain.

Councils do not operate by commonsense, instead they believe in the unattainable mantra of "zero risk". Nothing that even hints of risk to the individual or council can be allowed to happen, therefore they "play safe" (without bothering to understand the law or practice commonsense) and ban everything.

Councils have become the enemy of the people, and should be treated with the same contempt as one would treat a rabid dog!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats of The Week - Peak District National Trust and Derbyshire County Council

Do you remember loyal readers, way back in August 2010, that I awarded Peak District National Trust and Derbyshire County Council my prestigious "Prats of The Week" Award for their daft plans to replace stepping stones (used for centuries by ramblers on the River Dove) with limestone sh*te?

Well my old muckers, it seems that I have to make the same award again to the very same people, Peak District National Trust and Derbyshire County Council!

For why?

Heavy rains have pushed three of the new limestone block over (quel surprise and well predicted by Microdave). In fact, the increased height of the limestone blocks has caused debris to build up and restricted the flow of water; thus causing a rise in river levels, and for the river to break its banks.

Can you guess what has happened now children?

Yes, that's right, the area is now closed to the public on health and safety grounds.

Peak District National Trust and Derbyshire County Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Reverts To War Time Rationing

Oh dear it seems that Nanny has reverted to the 1940's, and is working on the assumption that she can control our food rations.

A leaked report by the Scientific Advisory Committee on Nutrition is going to recommend to Nanny that we must not eat more than 500g (1.1lb) of red or processed meat each week (70g a day - that's 3 rashers of bacon a day folks!), if we are to avoid bowel cancer.

A Coalition (we had a coalition government during the War) source told the media:

"It is important that people are not put off eating red meat entirely – but it would be irresponsible to ignore the potential health risks.

The advice is very clear."

We will be seeing these new small sized portions served in Westminster's dining rooms then, will we???

No, I thought not!

Nanny would do well to remember that we will eat what we wish, and should also remember that just because she calls herself a "coalition" does not mean that she has the stature, competence, ability or turst of the people of the war time coalition government.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Bin Brother - Too Many Bins

Oh dear, aside from some council residents being drowned in a sea of uncollected rubbish there are those who also appear to be drowning in a tidal wave of council bins.

The Taxpayers' Alliance has done a survey that shows certain councils are pushing their recycling mantra to extremes.

Seemingly the average council now expects residents to sort their household waste into four bins, bags and caddies.

However, Newcastle-under-Lyme wins the prize for taking the recycling mantra to the extreme by insisting that is hapless citizens sort their waste between nine containers!

Newcastle-under-Lyme uses separate bins for refuse, cardboard, plastics, paper, glass and cans, textiles and garden waste. It also hands out two food waste caddie, one for putting food scraps in for the kitchen and another for kerbside collection.

Farking hell, what a spectacular waste of time and resources!

Twenty other local authorities (including Chelmsford, Aberdeenshire, Guildford and Middlesbrough) give residents seven or more containers.

This is a remarkable con trick being perpetrated on the council taxpayers of Britain. As has been reported by the BBC, certain councils have been happily passing on this "recycled" waste to companies which then dump it in landfills in India.

On a side note, re alleged "global warming", there is in fact a simple one off solution to this "threat" to the planet.

Paint every roof of every house on the planet white.

The reflection of the sun's rays will reduce the alleged rise in global temperature by a statistically meaningful amount.

Problem solved!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats of The Week - Warwickshire Police

Ooh err missus, it has been a wee while since I have awarded my prestigious and internationally renowned Prats of The Week Award.

Time therefore to get awarding!

This week it goes to Warwickshire Police.

For why?

Well my old muckers, they recently had an "initiative" to bring in some extra manpower to help them run speed traps.

Who did they bring in?

Why, Boy Scouts of course!

Yes, you did read that correctly, the police used the services of 1st Shipston Scout pack (aged 10-14) to help them catch speeding motorists.

The Scouts spent a day in January using a laser speed gun with three police officers and three police community support officers, on duty at the traps at Shipston-on-Stour Warwickshire.

The 24 motorists caught by the Scouts were offered the choice of accepting a verbal and written warning about their actions, both delivered by the Scouts, or the standard punishment of a £60 fixed penalty and three points on their licence.

Is it me, or is there something decidedly creepy and unpleasant about granting a child the right to admonish an adult in this manner (shades of 1984 and "thought crime" accusations leveled by children against their parents spring to mind)?

The most "amusing" part of this whole scheme was the response by a spokesman for Warwickshire Police to media enquiries.

For reasons that only Nanny can explain, the key issue as viewed from the perspective of the police seems to be the fact that those who took part wore "high viz" jackets (over to you on that one Tonk:)).

The spokesman said that all those involved wore high-visibility jackets, and the speed checks took place on roads offering 'clear visibility' to drivers and those taking part.

So that's OK then!

Well, I suppose as the Scouts already have their own uniforms it is (in Nanny's eyes at least) just one simple step to drafting them into the police.

Warwickshire Police, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Madness

I see that collectively as a country we have taken one further step towards being declared insane.

Simon Cremer, who runs a flooring firm in Witham, discovered in October 2008 that one of his staff (Mark Gilbert) had written out a company cheque for £845 to himself and had taken it to Cash Converters.

Mr Cremer decided to take Gilbert to the police station, and paraded him through the streets of Witham with a cardboard sign which read:

"Thief. I stole £845 am on my way to the police station."

Gilbert admitted to the crime, and was let off with a caution.

Can you guess what happened to Mr Cremer children?

Yes, that's right, he was charged with false imprisonment (a case which collapsed in December 2008).

Roll forward to 2011, and Mr Cremer has ended up having to pay £5K compensation and £8K in court costs to Gilbert (who was to sue him for "distress").

Mr Cremer felt that he had no option but to settle out of court, as the fees he expected to incur would have been in the region of at least £25K.

I have said before on this site that bringing back the Stocks (and their equivalent) would be an effective means of dealing with certain types of crime and anti social behaviour.

Had Nanny followed my policy, Mr Cremer would not have had to pay out £13K.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

A Shameless Plug Again!

Dear All

Here is another shameless plug for Eva's (my partner) website and webshop for "Oh So Swedish" (arts and handicrafts with a "Swedish flavour").

She has just come back from Stockholm and has a fine selection of reproduction prints (on large postcards) of Swedish nostalgia and adverts from the 50's/60's. These will be uploaded onto the site in due course.

Any comments/criticisms etc of the site (still being "added to") please send to her.

Feel free to spend lots of money there though:)

www.ohsoswedish.com

Thanks for listening.

Ken

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Farcical

I see that Nanny's chums from Barnsley council have managed to cover themselves in "glory" wrt their attempts to consult with advanced dementia sufferers over the cost of their care.

For reasons that only a council drone could possibly understand, the council sent those with advanced dementia a complex and lengthy questionnaire (marked for the dementia sufferer only) that required a series of tick boxes to be completed in order to ascertain their views on plans to increase the cost of care.

Unsurprisingly, the Alzheimer's Society has described this "consultation" as "farcical". How on earth can people who need help with the most basic of tasks be expected to respond to a detailed questionnaire in any meaningful manner?

In one respect this story highlights the issue that David Cameron is "probably" trying to address with his (dare I say?) somewhat ill thought through "Big Society". Namely that the state is not necessarily the best option (either in terms of cost or ability) for judging/providing what people need/want at a local/individual level.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Shambles of Nanny's Drugs' Policy - Told You!

As those of you with long memories will recall, last year I noted that Nanny's ban of the then legal high of "Miaow Miaow" would backfire and that Nanny's drugs' policy was/is a shambles.

I wrote a number of articles, and even sent a letter to Theresa May in May 2010, about this.

Can you guess what has happened now children?

Yes, that's right, the ban on Miaow Miaow appears to have done more harm than good.

Below I reproduce the full, and unedited, article from the Telegraph (no less!) about the failure of the ban.

Well, I did warn Nanny that this was destined to fail!

"The ban on designer party drug miaow miaow has failed to reduce its availability and may even have driven some users to harder drugs, according to a new report.

A survey by the Independent Scientific Committee on Drugs has revealed that users have noticed little difference in their ability to get hold of mephedrone, which is nicknamed miaow miaow, since it was banned.

The report, the key findings of which are to be published this week and is the first authoritative survey of mephedrone users since the government added the drug to the list of banned substances in April 2010, reveals that more than half of those questioned had noticed no change in the availability of the drug in their area.

It also shows that 44 per cent of those who have used mephedrone said the ban made them more likely to use the Class A party drug ecstasy instead.

Professor David Nutt, a leading psychopahrmacologist who chairs the committee and has been an outspoken critic of the Home Office's approach to tackling recreational drugs which led to him being sacked as head of the government's official drug advisory council, said banning mephedrone did not appear to have been effective.

He warned that the move, which came after mephedrone had been linked to a number of deaths which were later found not to be attributable to the drug, could be driving demand for other new drugs.

It comes after recent research revealed that 40 new synthetic drugs have flooded into the UK during the past year.

Professor Nutt said: "It is not at all clear that the ban on mephedrone has helped to reduce harm.

"The ban has not greatly affected the availability of mephedrone because people were stockpiling before the ban came in but also because it has been very difficult to stop it from coming into the country.

"The government will look at this survey and say that not everyone will continue to use it and some people have been put off, so the ban is working, but we are also seeing people who did use mephedrone using other things like ecstasy and cocaine.

"One of the dangers of the approach that has been taken is that if we ban every new drug without a balanced view, then people will keep making more new drugs to replace them and eventually they will make something that is extremely toxic which, when kids take it, they will die.

"So we could be provoking harm by the way we are handling these new drugs."

Mephedrone was added to the list of banned substances by the Labour Government in April 2010 and was classified as Class B alongside cannabis and amphetamines.

Possession of mephedrone now carries a maximum sentence of five years while supplying the drug can lead to 14 year imprisonment.

There was intense pressure to ban mephedrone after it was linked to a number of deaths around the country.

On Thursday a coroner warned against taking the drug after two young men discovered hanging in woodland in Northumberland were found to have taken it.

But Professor Nutt insists that compared to other illicit substances, mephedrone is hard to overdose on and in the majority of cases where it has been linked to deaths the drug was subsequently not found to have been implicated.

The new survey, which questioned 1,500 drug users in an online questionnaire, found that 58 per cent of the respondents said they were less likely to use mephedrone since the ban, but 45 per cent said they would still try to get hold of it despite the ban and 51 per cent said the ban had not affected availability of the drug.

A fifth of those who responded said they had experienced a negative reaction to mephedrone after taking it but the drug was ranked eighth in a list of 13 harmful drugs with alcohol, tobacco, heroin and cocaine ahead of it.

Professor Nutt is now calling for the Home Office's Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs (ACMD) to review the ban on mephedrone and said future classifications of new drugs needed to be informed by scientific evidence on the effects and harm that the drugs can cause.

He said: "We need to learn lessons from the knee jerk reaction of a new drug that led to mephedrone being banned. What we have done now is to move users into contact with users and that is potentially very deleterious.

"There is the risk that dealers will encourage users onto other drugs.

"Comparatively, mephedrone is not a potent drug. We don't know if a healthy young person can die from an average dose and you would have to take an awful lot to overdose. There are drugs out there on which it is possible to overdose on 100mg."

The Home Office failed to respond to requests for a comment."

Isn't it "ironic" that leading politicians on both sides of the Atlantic have smoked and snorted things that they seek to deny their own voters from using?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The ASBone

My sympathies to Bodhi, a four-year-old Lakeland Terrier, who resides in my home town of Brighton.

Bodhi has fallen foul of the rules imposed by Nanny's chums on our local council, and may be given an ASBO.

Bodhi's crime?

Bodhi likes to use a skateboard when out and about with companion (is it pc to say "owner"?) Jonathan Fell.

Sadly, because when Bodhi uses the skateboard with no lead is attached, the council deem that Bodhi is "out of control".

The council claim that their actions are for the safety of the general public, and has arisen because of a complaint made by one member of the public.

Bodhi is still allowed to skateboard in local parks.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nominate Ken For and HMRC Pacesetter Award

Nominate me for an HMRC Pacesetter Award by signing this petition, feel free to pass it on.

Nominate Ken Frost for Pacesetter Award

Thanks.

Ken;)

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Right To Offend

The other day a Tory councillor, John Thomson (deputy leader of Wiltshire Council), opined that people are not allowed to offend anyone anymore:

"The law makes it clear that what matters is not the intention of the person who uses the phrase but whether anybody is offended by it."

A rather odd interpretation of the law wouldn't you say, given the recent furore in the Commons over the treatment of Paul Maynard MP (who has mild cerebral palsy) by his fellow MPs?

Could it be that Thomson means that the "no offence" rule only applies to members of the public, such as you and I, and is not applicable to our political "lords and masters"?

Favouritism under the law leads to dictatorship.

Here is John Thomson's email address john.thomson@wiltshire.gov.uk, feel free to tell him what you think.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

What The F***?

Yesterday was Safer Internet Day 2011.

Yes, I didn't know that either!

The above load of tosh video was put together by Insafe, and organisation funded by the EU (ie you and I).

If anyone can enlighten me as to what the fark is going on in the above video, and how that is relevant to iternet safety, I would be very grateful.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Knobheads

There are times when even Nanny exceeds herself in her "knobheadedness", this is one of those times as Anna Farquhar (Chairman of a health watchdog Wiltshire Involvement Network - WIN) found to her cost last August.

Mrs Farquhar was chairing a public meeting and, when referring to gossip about NHS changes, used the phrase:

"You cannot help the jungle drums".

Problem with that anyone?

However, a certain Sonia Carr, member of the Wilstshire Racial Equality Council, had an enormous problem (in her own mind) about it and declared it to be racist.

Mrs Farquhar immediately apologised for any offence.

Fair enough?

Not if you are Mrs Carr, she felt that an apology was not nearly good enough and submitted an official complaint to Wiltshire Council.

Nice to see people have nothing better to do with their lives!

The council, at great cost to the local taxpayers, produced a 10 page report, and barred all members of WIN from council premises and meetings. It also withdrew funding to cover the group's administration costs.

Mrs Carr remains remarkably unrepentant and claims that Mrs Farquhar's apology was inadequate, and that watchdog members needed training on "equality and diversity issues".

The council will meet WIN leaders to explain why it upheld this ludicrous complaint.

BTW, the council is Tory!

To make matters worse, it seems that the council have decreed that it is against the law to "offend" anyone.

John Thomson, deputy leader, is quoted in The Mail:

"The law makes it clear that what matters is not the intention of the person who uses the phrase but whether anybody is offended by it."

Bollocks!

You can offend whoever you like, if you are prepared to get a punch in the face. Comedians do it all the time, and are paid for doing it.

This is a complete waste of time and money, and a very poor reflection of the underlying agenda (increased state control and bigger government) of our coalition government.

Here is John Thomson's email address john.thomson@wiltshire.gov.uk, feel free to tell him what you think.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Vetting Changes

I see that Nanny's ludicrous plans for vetting all adults who have any form of contact with children are to be downsized.

Nanny's Vetting and Barring Scheme (VBS) will no longer go ahead in its original format, and the vetting of individuals will be significantly curtailed. The original plans would have entailed approximately 9 million people having to be vetted (oh, and they would have had to pay Nanny for the privilege!).

The onus will now shift to the employer to ensure staff are properly checked and cleared to work.

So far so good, except that the number of people affected is expected to more than halve. This still means around 4 million will have to be vetted!

Additionally, given how many organisations adopt brain dead jobsworth procedures, the level of checks carried out by employers may well still be absurdly OTT.

Therefore I suggest that before people break out the champagne and salute the "new" freedoms being proposed by the coalition, we "suck it and see" (as it were) and wait to see exactly what happens in reality.

There is a world of difference between a politician's promise and legislative reality!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Office Shagging Banned

I was more than a little wryly gemused to read a while ago that Nanny's chums from Fenland District Council's HR department had taken it upon themselves to try to interfere in that most natural of human passtimes, shagging.

The busybodies from HR had got their collective knickers in a twist over council workers having relationships with other council workers.

As such, if you are a hapless member of staff of this sad little council you might have soon been required to apply in writing for permission to shag a fellow member of staff!

This idiotic policy ('Draft People Policy: Relationships at Work') was drawn up by Ms Sam Anthony, the council's head of human resources and organisational development.

HR, now there's a function that adds fark all value to many organisations!

"Intimate behaviour during work time is not acceptable, and this applies during all working time (not flexed off time), both on and off council sites. Any breach of this could be regarded as a disciplinary offence (potentially gross misconduct) leading to disciplinary action."

HR clearly feels it hasn't enough to do, which is probably the case!

The data collected by the busybodies of HR would have been stored on the personnel files of the employees concerned!

Anyhoo, unsurprisingly, this daft idea created a furore and the council mid January duly told Ms Anthony that it was bollocks and rejected it.

I guess she will have to find some other way to justify her role in the council?

Just as well she was never my Personnel Manager when I was a lad, there would have been quite a thick file on me:)

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Olympics Lager

Pop over to my Olympics site if you want a quick laugh!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Whipping Allowed

My commiserations to Carol Hill, who had been school Dinner Lady for 8 years at Great Tey Primary School in Essex until June 2009.

In June of that year she found Chloe David, a pupil at the school, tied to a chain link fence with rope burns on her wrists and whip marks on her legs. It seems she and four boys had been playing "prisoners and guards".

Chloe was sent home with a letter informing her parents that she has been injured in a "skipping rope incident", no mention was made of her having been tied up or whipped by other pupils.

Later that evening, Mrs Hill bumped into Chloe's parents and was surprised that they had not been told the full story, she then told them what she saw.

June 25, 2009: Mr David demanded to see a copy of the school's official report on the incident, this alerted Deborah Crabb, the headmistress, to the fact that he was informed by Mrs Hill.

Factoid: Both of mr and Mrs David's children have been removed from the school.

July 2009 Mrs Crabb suspended Mrs Hill for breaching pupil confidentiality.

September 2009: Mrs Hill is sacked for gross misconduct by a disciplinary hearing chaired by school governors (she had by then spoken to a local paper).

November 2009: Mrs Hill appealed to a panel of three school governors and representatives Essex County Council, but her dismissal was upheld (on the grounds that she had spoken to a local paper).

Factoid: The parent of one of the boys involved was a governor of the school at this time.

January 6, 2011: The employment tribunal ruled that Mrs Hill was unfairly dismissed, because the school did not conduct a reasonable investigation into the charges against her and the disciplinary and appeal hearings were unfair.

February 2, 2011: The tribunal met again, they ruled that she would have been sacked in any case for going public with the story, and that she was therefore not entitled to compensation.

After discussions between lawyers for the two sides, Essex County Council has agreed to pay Mrs Hill a severance package of £351.82 (just over £300 in back pay and £49.99 in "compensation").

Comments anyone?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny's Crime Map

I am hugely gemused wrt Nanny's brand new, and much hyped, crime map of the UK.

Within hours of it going online it crashed.

For good measure, when I tested it myself and entered my postcode, it happily told me that there was no police authority in my area!

I find that rather odd, given that I live within 5 minutes walk of the main police station in Brighton.

Nanny appears to be incapable of implementing IT systems without there being some form of significant cock up!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny's Secret Database

Is there no end to Nanny's attempts to spy on us and to try to categorise us?

I ask this because I see that Leicestershire County Council are compiling a "secret" (now not secret) database that categorises the appearance of school children's parents.

The bizarre database is being constructed from completed forms that have been given to teaching staff asking them to comment on height, hair and build. Additionally, the staff are required to give a judgement as to whether a parent is overweight or untidy.

The purpose of this?

Seemingly, if Nanny is to be believed, the details will be used to identify parents in the event of a legal action arising.

LOL!

Let me see now:

- untidy
- stocky
- surly etc

That hardly narrows it down does it?

Why not just take a photo and be done with it?

The state (councils in particular) have become the enemy of the people.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries