Nanny's Hi Vis Fetish

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed out that Nanny's Hi Vis fetish has gone Continental.

Apparently, Spanish Nanny is worried about the health and safety of working girls who ply their trade on rural highways. As such, Spanish Nanny has ordered the girls to wear Hi Vis jackets when they are working near highways, such as the rural highway outside Els Alamus near Lleida in Catalonia.

Failure to comply with the law will elicit a fine of Euro 40.

What's the Spanish for Ker Farking Ching?

It is not clear as to whether the girls are meant to keep the jacket on once they are with a customer.

I dare say that the Hi Vis jackets will make them more visible, and to some extent may well lead to an increase in "clients".

In other parts of the world other "marketing" techniques are employed. In Beijing the street girls attract customers by throwing firecrackers on the pavements as people walk by. Quite what the health and safety brigade in the UK would make of girls lobbing "Brocks bangers" at passers by in Shepherd Market etc I don't know!

Ole!

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White Lines

How gemusing to see that all that separates our political "elite" from "celebrities" and "celebrity footballers" is nothing more than a thin white line!

What a "funny" little island we live on, where the "elite" can happily break the outdated laws that Nanny seeks to impose on the rest of us.

The "elite" seem to do rather well (good careers, good money, power, status etc) out of breaking these laws, yet "Joe Public" gets a criminal record if he gets caught.

Here is the official response from Nanny to a letter I wrote in June 2010 about her drugs policy.

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Nanny Bans Lap Dancing

I see that Nanny's chum Chris Grayling, the employment minister, has decreed that job centres will no longer be able to display adverts for strippers, topless barmaids and lap-dancers.

All very well, but what gives Nanny to "moral" right to decree what jobs she defines to be "acceptable" or not?

A few factoids for Nanny:

1 Strippers et al are human beings too.

2 We are being told by Nanny that she wants less people claiming benefits, isn't the role of the job centre (aside from humiliating those who pass through its doors) to publicise all jobs that are available (irrespective of the personal prejudices/"morality" of Nanny and those who work in the job centres)?

3 Given Nanny's distaste for lap dancers etc, why is it that she is still happy to tax their earnings? Is that not somewhat hypocritical?

4 I take it then that not one single MP has ever visited a lap dancing club, watched a stripper or visited a brothel then? (Yes, I am being "ironic"!)

This is a small minded ban, that is totally pathetic.

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Harperson's Delusions of Power

Our old "friend" the grandstanding, publicity seeking, self promoting Labour Deputy Leader, Harriet Harperson, has thrust herself into the limelight yet again.

This time she has called for a website (Punternet, a site that a.o. advertises and rates male and female prostitutes) based in California to be banned.

She told the Labour Party Conference that it contained "pages and pages of women for sale in London".

Factoid: It also has "men for sale too".

The "sinister" website "fuels the demand for prostitutes" and puts women at risk:

"There is now a website ... where pimps put women on sale for sex and then men who've had sex with them put their comments on line.

It is PunterNet and fuels the demand for prostitutes. It is the ultimate commodification of women and puts women at risk. It is truly degrading."

It was "a sinister development which we are determined to stop".

Do some research Harperson, the site has been around for years (along with countless other sites advertising prostitutes).

Why, only now, do you call for this one site to be banned?

Why do you only speak up for the women advertised on the site, what about the men?

What about all the other sites that advertise prostitutes? There are thousands of them.

Why have you given Punternet such free publciity ahead of all of the other sites that do the same?

Can a third rate British politician really ban a site based in another country, especially one that has the right to freedom of expression enshrined in its constitution?

Well loyal readers, as you all know...she can't, even the habitually gaffe prone and dim witted Harperson knows that.

So what's the real game here then?

Ah, wait a minute, I see...

Harperson said:

"I've raised it with the US Ambassador to London and I've called on California's governor Arnie Schwarzenegger to close it down.

Surely it can't be too difficult for The Terminator to terminate PunterNet and that's what I'm demanding he does. And if he doesn't, I've got a message for Arnie: I'll be back."

Harperson is clinging to the shroud of "celebrity" hoping that by associating herself with a very well known, and reasonably competent, celebrity and politician, some of his success will rub off on her.

Why the need for association with someone famous?

Harperson is after Broon's job, this gives her some pre election publicity that will (in her view) give her a springboard for taking Broon's job after the election.

Surely the Labour Party has better people than this in its ranks?

Thank "The Sky Fairy" that this miserable excuse for a political party will be out of power for a generation come next May.

Haperson will then have to look for a real job.

Will the private sector employ such a person?

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Of Apes and Man

Here is are a few questions for our Home Economics Minister (sorry Home Secretary) Jacqui Smith (of no specific address) wrt her planned law, due to come into force later this year, re prostitution.

Under the new legislation a man will face prosecution if he pays for sex with a woman who is being "controlled for gain" by someone else.

In court he will not be able to argue he did not know the woman was being controlled, because ignorance is no defence.

Do you really think that this is provable in a court of law?

What about women who pay for sex?

To quote Gloucestershire Chief Constable Dr Tim Brain, he said that the complexity of the law may make gaining evidence hard.

"It will take a lot of unpicking to prove and therefore I am concerned that the deterrent effect the government was hoping to bring about will be lessened because the legislation is so complex."

Quite!

Aside from that I read today that male apes apparently give food for sex, will they be prosecuted too?

Re the concept of paying for "sex", what exactly does the word "sex" mean in terms of the law?

- Full scale intercourse?
- Slap and tickle?
- Dressing in women's underwear?
- Watching porn? etc

Many people get their rocks off in many different ways, as we know from reading the lurid stories about our MPs and their "sex" lives/proclivities.

Surely, it could be argued, that a man/woman who pays to watch porn is paying for sex?

Will Jacqui be bringing a prosecution case against her husband then?

I see also that Jac's Home Orifice had linked their website to a Japanese porn site the other day. Errmmm..who is running this shower?

The issue that our "respected" Home Secretary hasn't quite grasped is that once people think that you are corrupt and have become a joke, your career in politics is over.

Just a few thoughts.....

Over to you Hom Sec...

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Prat of The Week - The Home Economics Minister

Tis a Monday morning, the birds are wheezing and the skies are grey..time to award my world famous and internationally renowned "Prat of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to Nanny's Home Economics Minister, Jacqui Smith.

Ms Smith has evidently had a rush of blood to the head, or is suffering from some form of delusion that she can change thousands of years of human socio economic history and human nature itself.

Her plan?

Banning prostitution (in a round about sort of way) and cutting down the number of lap dancing clubs (re the clubs...ermm didn't many of these sprout up during Labour's many years in orifice?).

Anyhoo, Ms Smith's great plan is that she will fine men who pay for sex with prostitutes who are "controlled".

Under the new offence, men would not be able to claim in court that they had not known the prostitute had a pimp or a drug habit.

"It won't be enough to say, 'I didn't know'.

What I hope people will say is, 'I am not actually going to take the risk if there is any concern that this woman hasn't made a free choice.' It would be quite difficult for a man paying for sex in the majority of cases not to fall under this particular offence."

Will she be prosecuting women who pay for sex with other women/men, or is that different in her eyes?

How will the state catch a man paying for sex with a "controlled" person, and prove that the person is "controlled"?

It sounds to me as though Ms Smith doesn't believe that women are capable of managing their own lives or making decisions for themselves without being drug dependent or "controlled".

Patronising isn't she?

Prohibition of booze in the USA didn't work and spawned the Mafia. Despite stringent drugs laws, Britain is awash with drugs and those that control the trade make a nice living.

This has no chance in hell of eliminating/controlling prostitution, the world's oldest profession, all it will do is drive it further underground thus pushing those who are most vulnerable further into danger and spawning further criminal activity.

When will Nanny learn that banning things more often than not causes even more problems?

Jacqui Smith, well deserving Prat of The Week.

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Nanny Tries To Ban The World's Oldest Profession

Now we all know that Nanny has many bees in her bonnet about oodles of things; smoking, eating, drinking, teenagers and sex to name but a few.

Sex, being something that we all indulge in (on an occasional/regular basis), is certainly something that she can get her "choppers" into. One aspect of sex that has caught her gimlet eye is that of the world's oldest profession, ie prostitution.

Now Nanny has something of a juxtaposition on this (can I say juxtaposition?).

She has campaigned to remove street girls, and put them in "approved" areas and houses; the notion being that Nanny "cares" for the women, and wishes them to have safe working conditions.

However, on the other hand, prostitution kind of grates against her "feminist" instincts; in her eyes it is "clearly" exploitation of women, and must be stamped out.

Good luck Nanny, it has been going on ever since mankind stood upright, quite how your pathetic and incompetent government can change that I don't know.

Anyhoo, it doesn't stop Nanny from trying.

Enter Nanny's old friend Tessa Jowell. She is trying to ban prostitution in Germany (erm...don't think that comes under Nanny's jurisdiction does it?)

Tessa has teamed up with Nanny to urge England's star footballers to use their influence as role models, to campaign against fans using prostitutes during the World Cup finals in Germany.

Tessa sent letters to Sven, David Beckham and the rest of the England team urging them to shun sexual exploitation; in the same way they have campaigned against drugs and racism.

Tessa Jowell, Nanny's culture and sport secretary and minister for women, shrilly cried for "vigilance to protect women from exploitation". It is estimated that 40,000 foreign sex workers will arrive in Germany for the tournament.

At this point I would note that prostitution is legal in Germany, and that it is in fact none of Nanny's business what goes on there.

That doesn't stop dear old Tessa from sticking her nose into the matter; at a recent meeting with the Women's National Commission, Jowell said she was "horrified" when told how many sex workers were expected to attend the finals.

Jowell said:

"The concern is that where there are big global sporting events, large numbers of women are made available for large numbers of visitors.

I support the call to the Football Association FA and German authorities for vigilance to protect women from exploitation."

Someone might like to remind Tessa that Wayne Rooney, England's striker, was accused of having rumpy pumpy with working girls at a Merseyside massage parlour while he played for Everton in 2004.

Needless to say the German football authorities think that the campaign is bollocks, referring to it as a "tiresome issue".

Indeed preparations for the arrival of prostitutes are well advanced, a brand new bordello has been built in Berlin and agencies are busily recruiting girls. In Cologne, the authorities have built a row of drive-in sex booths for motorists.

How very thorough and "Germanic"!

Rolf Gablin, a sex club owner in Cologne, said:

"The sex industry was legalised.

The girls pay taxes and health insurance.

This letter is childish.

I would not have expected it from an adult."

I am surprised that Tessa has the time to meddle in other countries affairs in this manner, given the storm that is brewing over her husband's alleged dodgy dealing in Italy and the possible connections in this matter that are alleged between him, Tessa and Blairy.

Maybe Tessa is trying to look busy, and to divert our attention?

Nanny's Flashcam

Following on from yesterday's story about Nanny's predilection for technology.

I have yet another example of her techno obsession, to regale you with.

This time Nanny has become enamoured with a device known as a FlashCam-530.

What on earth is a FlashCam-530 I hear you cry?

Well I shall tell you.

The FlashCam-530 is a device which is attached to a lamppost, and can sense motion up to 100 feet away.

When motion is detected, the FlashCam starts taking photographs. A bright flash goes off, and a loud voice message warns the intruder to "leave the area now" and that his/her photograph is being taken.

The system, so I believe, was developed in the USA. Nanny is now intent on "rolling it out" across the streets of Britain.

She intends to use it initially, and there is word to watch, against graffiti artists, prostitutes, drug dealers and miscellaneous types of people whom Nanny has a grudge against.

Now, that is fine in principle. However, you may wonder precisely how a piece of technology can distinguish between a drug dealer and a person just out for a walk.

Seemingly Nanny has quite thought of the answer to that yet.

In other words, it can't!

It's primary design function is to secure restricted areas, eg water treatment plants.

That doesn't bother Nanny though. You see, what she and her minions really want is for people not to be on the streets at all.

You see, it makes it easier for us to be controlled if we are all safely locked up in our homes.

Finally, I leave you with this tale about the effectiveness of these devices. It seems that, despite issuing warnings about being too close and flashing away merrily, some 60 of these were nicked in Wakefield.

Another fine idea Nanny, unfortunately it is bollocks!

When Your Best Isn't Good Enough

Nanny is a strict mistress (that phrase will get this site some interesting hits from search engines!) she expects everything to be done "just so", in accordance with her views and rules.

Unfortunately not everyone can live up to her "high standards" and, as such, can be ostracised and rejected by Nanny.

Now we all know that the Samaritans do sterling work for the suicidal, depressed and unhappy. Volunteers man telephone lines 24 hours a day, offering friendly non judgemental counsel and a shoulder to cry on.

It is widely acknowledged, and recognised, that they have saved many lives.

The Samaritans in Sheffield recently went to Nanny's chums, in that much respected national institution "The National Lottery", to ask for a £300K grant for the refurbishment of a new premises that they bought with a legacy; they have to leave their current premises, as the landlord sold it.

Unfortunately their request was rejected on the grounds that they do not do enough for the disadvantaged, asylum seekers and ethnic minorities.

Call me stupid, but are the idiots in the Lottery suggesting that the Samaritans should ask callers first what socio-economic group they come from?

Presumably if you are white and middle class, you are then told to go hang yourself?

The good news is that Nanny's Lottery is spending the money on more deserving causes; £360K is being given to a fund to advise prostitutes.

Nanny is very selective, when choosing who she decides to help.

Nanny's Scumbag Friends

Well, quite a scandal has erupted in the media. It seems that despite all these years that Nanny and her friends have been lecturing us about “family values”, and respect for others, some of her scumbag little friends have not been listening to her message.

No I don’t mean David “trial without jury” Blunkett; this case refers to a mystery man.

The new sex scandal was revealed on Wednesday, by Oona King a Labour MP; she claims to have been offered £10,000 to have sex with a British Labour Euro MP.

Ms King, quite rightly, told the man to "go to hell"; yet, oddly enough, he faced no disciplinary action.

Ms King said the approach by the Labour MEP took place some 13 years ago, when she was a political assistant in Strasbourg.

Needless to say the story is even more sordid than it first appears. Our dear Labour MEP was not, of course, going to use his own money to purchase Ms King’s company; he was going to use his cost allowance.

That means he was going to steal the money that you, the taxpayers, give to Nanny through your taxes.

I remind you again, this scumbag did not receive any disciplinary action.

Nanny, if you are reading this please could you tell us why no action was taken against him?

Nanny is always lecturing her “charges” about respect for others, tolerance and the evils of theft; yet her own friends in the Houses of Parliament are noted for their boorish behaviour and sexism. Furthermore, this scumbag presumably happily continues to draw a more than generous salary and allowance; which he doubtless embezzles to satisfy his own desires, at the expense of the taxpayer.

Unfortunately with Nanny; it is a case of do as I say, not do as I do.

I have some simple advice for this scumbag, and others of his ilk:

• If you are going to pay for sex; then for heavens sake conduct your business with professional prostitutes, not your co-workers.



• Make sure that the money that you intend to use, to obtain your sexual gratification, is yours; ie don't steal it!

Now the hunt is on for the mystery man.

Please drop me a line if you know of the man’s identity. Any information leading to his identification, will of course not be treated in the strictest confidence; and will be liberally splashed across this website.

Nanny Nobbles NHS Nookie

According to reports I have received, Nanny has tried to procure a prostitute for an elderly care home patient; who was becoming a little over excited at the prospect of being surrounded by nurses.

The staff in the care home decided that he should either be given a dose of bromide, or allowed to relieve his natural urges. They decided on the latter.

Therefore the NHS asked Nanny’s SS (Social Services) to help find a lady for the gentleman, who would pay for her services himself.

The plan, in theory, would have worked reasonably well.

A suitably “neutral” venue was chosen for the meeting, between patient and the “hands on carer”, to take place.

Everybody, it seems, was going to be happy.

Unfortunately, Nanny’s SS could not resist poking their noses into this further; they decided that a neutral venue was not appropriate. In the view of Nanny’s SS, the service being provided was “therapy”; therefore it had to be provided on NHS property.

A hospital room was found, and all was prepared.

Unfortunately, because of the delay, the patient contracted pneumonia and died.

Dear old Nanny; she can’t stop interfering in peoples’ lives, even when they are close to death.