The Dangers of Black Friday

Oh dear it seems people's desire to fill the voids in their lives with transient consumer products is turning them into savages.



As per the Telegraph:

"It was getting more heated by the minute and the next thing, at about ten to midnight, voices got raised. The shouting went through the roof, then all hell broke loose. They were ripping the plastic off the palettes and people started fighting. One girl, who can't have been more than 16, picked up some advent calendars and flung them across the shop. I saw a member of staff leaving with a black eye. It was something I would never like to experience again." 

I am surprised Nanny hasn't stepped in and banned it!

Come on folks it's Friday, do the British thing go down to the pub drink 20 pints then pick a fight with a complete stranger; none of this American nonsense!

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Nanny Bans Entrepreneur

Commiserations to entrepreneur Tommie Rose (a 15 year old schoolboy attending Buile High School in Salford) who has fallen foul of Nanny.

Tommie has been earning a living (£14K thus far) selling sweets from his own "tuck shop" to his school chums, in order to fund a university pace at Oxbridge where he hopes to study business.

Sadly for Tommie Nanny doesn't approve of his activities, and has been threatened with suspension.

For why?

His tuck shop apparently breaches healthy-eating guidelines!

James Inman, the head teacher at Buile Hill school, is quoted by the Telegraph: 

“We admire this pupil’s entrepreneurship but school is not the place to set up a black market of fizzy drinks, sweets and chocolates. 

We have extremely high standards and with our healthy-eating policy we don’t allow isotonic drinks, fizzy drinks and large amounts of sweets for the good of our children.”

To be honest Tommie should not despair. He has shown more intelligence, get up and go and entrepreneurial spirit than he would ever learn at university. He should stuff the degree, and go straight into business when he leaves school.

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Drink Matters - Nanny is Ignored

I am gemused to learn that Nanny has become somewhat dispirited that we are ignoring her anti booze propaganda (wrt daily limits of alcohol intake). Apparently, Nanny has conducted some "research" (ie asked a bloke in a pub) about why we are ignoring her and is shocked at the results.

Here are the reasons we ignore her:

1 Her daily limits are based on zero scientific research, and are made up.

2 The daily limits are set at the lowest possible amount, and are based on one size fits all.

3 Politicians enjoy drinking way beyond Nanny's daily limits, courtesy of taxpayer subsidised drinking dens in the Palace of Westminster.

No surprises there then!

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Euro Nanny Bans Domestic Ovengloves

I see that our EU overlords, in the shape of Euro Nanny, have decided to ban domestic oven gloves and insist on people using professional oven gloves that can withstand 200 degrees.

All very well and health conscious. However, the stringent tests needed to ensure that Euro oven gloves meet the safety standards will put up the prices of such articles by as much as 20%.

The result will be that people will simply resort to using teatowels etc, hardly an improvement in the health and safety of the kitchen!

In other news, Euro Nanny also wants all washing-up gloves sold across the EU to be tested and then certified to prove that they can withstand “basic detergents”.

Sigh!

Meanwhile, the economies of the Eurozone fall apart as the ECB pursues its harebrained "one size fits all" monetary policy.

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Nanny's Knotweed Asbos

I am gemused to see that Nanny has decided to start imposing Asbos and fines on people who fail to control the spread of invasive non-native plants such as Japanese Knotweed.

People can now be fined up to £2,500 for failing to control it and other plants, such as Himalayan balsam and giant hogweed.

It does seem to me that adding yet more legislation to the statute books is a tad unnecessary, given that there are already methodologies in place for people to resolve disputes that involve damage to property etc resulting from the actions or lack of actions of others.


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Nanny To Give Advice on Relationships

What could possibly go wrong? pic.twitter.com/ebOFRqufaH
— Jess Brammar (@jessbrammar) November 19, 2014

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Paddington's Bear Faced Cheek

Oh dear I see that a childhood favourite, Paddington, has fallen foul of Nanny's censors.

The newly released Paddington film has garnered some free PR courtesy of the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC), which has decide in its infinite dwisdom to award the film a PG rating.

For why?

"dangerous behaviour, mild threat, mild sex references (and) mild bad language". 

Eh??

As per the Telegraph it said "infrequent scenes of dangerous behaviour" included Paddington hiding in a fridge, while "mild threat" was seen when a villain "threatens to kill and stuff" the famous bear.

Among the "mild sex references" is a "comic sequence in which a man disguised as a woman is flirted with by another man".

Unbelievable!

During this season of overindulgence, many a child will go to pantomimes which are stuffed to the gunnels with sexual innuendo, cross dressing and threats to kill.

These are not rated as PG, why is Paddington thusly rated?

Frankly I am surprised that Nanny didn't pick up on the far more dnagerous themes:

- Paddington is appraoched in a station by a middle aged man, who offers to take him into his home

- Paddington is addicted to marmalade sarnies ans cocoa (both very high in sugar)

- He's an illegal immigrant etc etc


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Nanny's Dress Code

RT @Yahkshi: Best one yet. #WomenAgainstFeminism pic.twitter.com/fSAMZisvy3 >> Fantastic 😂😂😂

— Hayden Hill (@KillSocialism) November 19, 2014

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Booze - Nanny Hates Home Delivery

Oh dear, I see Nanny is getting all hot and bothered over our drinking habits again.

This time she is targeting elderly middle class women who, shock horror probe, have the temerity to buy their booze online from supermarkets etc.

According to Nanny, increasing numbers of female retired professionals have developed drink problems after stepping down from successful careers.

The Priory, the rehabilitation centre favoured by celebrities with addiction problems, weighed in saying that the full extent of the problem among older women could be even higher than the figures suggest because many may be keeping their drinking hidden.

Well, if the figures aren't accurate what's the scientific point in speculating about them?

Oh, wait a minute, The Priory charges for its services and doubtless benefits from free publicity...aha!

According to Dr Paul McLaren, a consultant psychiatrist at The Priory, the growth of supermarket home delivery services was making it easier for their drink problems to go unnoticed by making it easier for them to get alcohol at home.

Quoted by the Telegraph:

“Many of the women I see are retired professionals who never had issues with alcohol in the past.

Then there is home delivery – I have seen many examples of alcohol being delivered to older people who are too damaged or impaired by it to go out and buy it themselves. 

So they don't even have to leave home to buy alcohol – supermarket delivery services will bring it straight to their door."

It doesn't take much imagination to see what will happen next, some idiot will call for home deliveries of alcohol to be rationed or banned.

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The Fashion Police

Apparently, according to the self appointed global fashion police, it is politically incorrect for a leading scientist involved in the Rosetta project to wear a shirt emblazoned with cartoon images of scantily clad women.

However, it is required that leading politicians wear T shirts (purporting to espouse feminism) manufactured by sweat shop labour, in order to promote a magazine's publicity stunt.

These fashion police are the same people who get very uppity about being judged by people for what they wear.

Funny old world isn't it?

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The Joy of Chips

My thanks to a loyal reader who alerted me to an utter load of Nanny fuckwittery, emanating from Cheltenham Borough Council.

The Nannies of Cheltenham have £3K of taxpayers' money they want to squander, and have decided to piss it away on a scheme to "educate" takeaways about the best way to cut and fry their chips.

The scheme is known as the “healthy chips” scheme.

Seemingly businesses will receive one-to-one help with Nanny looking at “educating” them about the size of the cut chip, the different types of oil available, how long things should be cooked for, how hot the oil should be and how often it should be changed.

All very well if these takeaways had never fried a chip in their lives. However, given that they are in the business of cooking and selling chips, I would have thought that their staff had already been shown how to cut and fry chips!

James Ritchie, co-owner of Simpsons Fish and Chips in Priors Road, is quoted in the Gloucestershire Echo:

“I would go to the National Federation of Fish Fryers for advice and not the council.

They couldn’t tell us anything. There is nothing they could tell us that we don’t already know.


But it could be a good idea for people that may need a bit of help.

I can see what they are trying to do but they would be better off sending people to training courses run by the NFFF.”

Coming soon...teaching your gran to suck eggs!

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Single Adults Banned From Puxton Park

It is a very sad reflection on the paranoias of a society wherein single adults (ie physically on their own) are banned from public areas, lest they be paedophiles.

Such is the case of Puxton Park bird sanctuary, which has a policy of banning lone adults from admission, as Matthew Richards found to his cost.

Visited the park before with his three grandchildren, and wanted to return on his own to watch the falconry display. To no avail, he was banned on the grounds of "child protection"!

The managers of the park claim, according to the Mirror, that this rule is “in line with other parks”.

 

When I was a kid I was taught the simple but effective rule "don't talk to strangers, or accept sweets or get into their cars", now the message is "fear all adults".

 

That is not a healthy message to indoctrinate children with!

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The Dangers of Sausages

Oh dear, I see another staple of our national diet has been deemed to be a health risk by Nanny.

Apparently, according to the BBC, one in 10 bangers and processed pork meat products in England and Wales could cause hepatitis E virus (HEV) infection if undercooked.

Seemingly, Scottish bangers are risk free (if the above were to be taken at face value).

Disregarding the Scotland/England health divide, the key point is that the danger only exists if the bangers are undercooked.

I am therefore moved to ask the question:

Who the hell eats raw sausages?

Reminding us to cook them is quite unnecessary. Those who undercook their bangers are more than likely to have poisoned themselves many times before, by undercooking far more dangerous foods eg chicken, pork etc. As such these people shouldn't be allowed anywhere near food!

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Burger Off!

I am gemused to see that the Hungry Horse pub chain, that runs the Rose & Crown in Bexhill-On-Sea, has launched a new burger that comes in at a stonking 1966 calories.

The Double Donut Burger (I thought doughnut was spelt thusly?) consists of two beef burgers, melted cheese, four smoked streaky bacon rashers and BBQ sauce served in two grilled, glazed ring doughnuts.

Quite why anyone would want to eat such an abomination is beyond me, but this is a free country (allegedly).

Anyhoo, cue the outrage of Mel Wakeman, senior lecturer in applied physiology at Birmingham City University, who feels it's an absolute disgrace that such a burger be sold.

He is quoted by The Argus:

"Hungry Horse obviously have no conscience and no doubt both their wallet and the size of their customers will be getting fatter by the week. 

To me, this is simply ludicrous and irresponsible. I am no killjoy but why is this sort of food available? This burger is literally a heart attack on a plate. 

Why can’t they include on the menu what the customer would need to do to burn all those calories off? In the case of this Double Donut Burger, around three hours of continuous running should just about do it. I wonder how many people would still opt for the item knowing this.” 

Well, as noted, I wouldn't eat it. However, unless I have misunderstood the catering arrangement at the Rose & Crown, no one is being forced to eat it.

I would also note that one burger (even a 1966 calorie burger) does not make a heart attack (unless you are already very unfit or the burger lodges in your throat). You would have to eat a few of these before you pegged put.

Nevertheless, Mr Wakeman has fallen into the Mary Whitehouse trap of those who are "outraged" over something by giving the product and pub some excellent free publicity.

Well done!

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Nanny Sacrifices The Elderly on The Altar of Climate Change

I was less than gemused to read a while back (before the weather got colder) that Public Health England has advised that the elderly should set their central heating lower during the day this winter, in order to save money and help combat climate change.

Yes, you did read that correctly!

In order to advance Nanny's dogma of "climate change", the warmth and safety of the elderly is to be sacrificed on its altar!

Nanny used to advise that rooms should be kept at 21C during daylight hours and 18C at night. Nanny now advises that rooms should be kept at 18C both day and night.

Now this might be all well and good for the young and fit. However, those in their seventies and beyond tend to react to temperatures in a different manner and don't realise that they are slowly getting colder and colder.

I think that this advice is farking mental, and disgraceful!

Stuff climate change, if you are elderly the one thing you want to avoid during periods of coldness is hypothermia!

Turn the thermostat up!

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Exercise Is Anti Establishment

According to this rather demented article in the Guardian, people who exercise in a gym (ie those who try to take care of their health and fitness) are right wing, libertarians who despise the state.

Thus we must conclude from the Guardian's article that "nice" people, who believe in the munificence of the state, should be unhealthy and fat.

Isn't that rather contrary to the advice that Nanny keeps giving us about losing weight and taking exercise?

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Lewes Bonfire Ignites Prats

Every Bonfire Night, since the original Gunpowder Plot itself, Lewes has held a lively and well attended series of bonfires in which effigies of well known personalities of the day are paraded through the streets by the various bonfire societies and are then burned.

This year, two of the effigies were of Alex Salmond.

Cue protests from a number of prats who felt that it was "naughty" to mock him.

Guess what Happened next?

Yes, that's right, the police have launched an investigation and the effigies were withdrawn from the public burning.

A Sussex Police statement as per the BBC said:

"We are aware of the portrayal of Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond as an effigy at the 2014 Lewes Bonfire event and acknowledge that concerns have been raised.

Whilst we accept there is a long tradition of creating effigies of high-profile individuals in politics, sport, the media, etc, a complaint has nevertheless been received and will be investigated."

It is of course "ironic" that certain individuals have complained about this, given that in the past effigies of Clegg, Cameron, Thatcher, Merkel and the Pope have been burned.

Where were these complainers then?

Despite Salmond's effigies not being burned, two of Putin were (and that seems to have pissed off some Russians) and he has a lot more power and is better known that Salmond!

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Nanny is Not Infallible - The Dangers of Cheesegraters

In this age of risk assessments, health and safety and rules and regulations it is "ironic" that Nanny still cannot control the minutiae of the universe.

Ably demonstrated by the fact that two steel bolts (the size of human arms) have fallen off the 737ft Cheesegrater skyscrape at 122 Leadenhall Street, forcing the 47 storey landmark building to be cordoned off from pedestrians.

It seems one bolt fell from the fifth floor earlier in the week, and stayed within the sloped building, while another steel bolt broke off the building's fifteenth floor yesterday and plummeted to the ground.

No one was hurt.

Proof that Nanny is not infallible!

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Remember Remember The 5th of November

Remember remember the 5th of November, gunpowder, treason and plot!

Also please do remember that Nanny doesn't want you:

1 Drinking when using fireworks

2 Using fireworks that are not BS 7114 rated

3 Using Chinese lanterns

4 Using fireworks after midnight

5 Touching hot sparklers etc etc

Notwithstanding the above, please enjoy Guy Fawkes' Night!

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Milk Is Good For You, Milk Is Bad For You

 

Milk used to be recommended by Nanny for building strong bones and healthy teeth. Indeed, in the days of my childhood, free milk was distributed at primary school.

Now, thanks to Nanny's obsession with all things pertaining to what we eat and rink, milk has been declared to be dangerous.

A study conducted by Professor Karl Michaelsson, of Uppsala University Sweden, has suggested that it does little to strengthen bones and can double the risk of an early death.

The study that tracked 61,000 women and 45,000 men for 20 years found there was no reduction in broken bones for those who consumed the most milk. Those who drank three glasses or more a day (680ml) were twice as likely to die early than those who consumed less than one.

Professor Michaelsson is quoted by the Telegraph:

“Our results may question the validity of recommendations to consume high amounts of milk to prevent fragility fractures. A higher consumption of milk in women and men is not accompanied by a lower risk of fracture and instead may be associated with a higher rate of death.”

However, one study should not a public policy make!

Read his words carefully, and you will see the use of the word "may"; ie he is not sure.

Thus before certain obsessive food fascists jump on their horses and tell us to stop drinking milk, let us just work to the maxim that a sensible and well balanced diet is the best way to enjoy your life and your food.

I drank three pints of milk a day, when I was a kid, and it never did me any harm!

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Nanny Hates Fags - Norwegian Nanny's Health Rage

Kudos to Dr. Per Fugelli, a professor at the University of Oslo's medical school, who is fed up with how Norwegian Nanny is harassing smokers, and has said that it's time to stop harassing them. 

Dr Fugelli thinks restrictions on smoking have gone too far, and has warned against portraying smokers as an “underclass”.

Fugelli, commenting on fresh proposals to extend smoking bans in restaurants and railway stations to city streets and public parks, warned against depicting smokers as inferior people and against "health rage".

He is quoted by News in English.no:

“If an allergic person is bothered by smoke whole waiting for the tram, it’s possible to move away.

I get a bad taste in my mouth from the successful managers of the Health Directorate (Helsedirektoratet) and other influential groups. They’re the elite, harassing the lower class.

We should treat them decently and with respect, and not expect that a perfect lifestyle is within reach for all.”

Sadly Dr Fugelli will now doubtless be on the receiving end of an avalanche of vitriol spewing forth from the anti smoking fascists.

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