Prats of The Week - Sainsburys

Fat Tax

I see that various "health experts" have been recently rather vocal about the "need" for a "fat tax", ie a tax on food that Nanny believes is bad for us.

Seemingly, according to the "experts", if we do not stop eating the "wrong" kind of food 46% of us will be "obese" by 2030. Seemingly the NHS will fall apart caring for so many fat people...errmmmm....are we also not warned that the NHS will fall apart caring for the increased elderly population?

So what is it to be, die fat and young or live skinny and old? Either way the state seems to loath us!

Ho Hum! moving on, may I therefore ask what exactly the "wrong" sort of food is?

Let's assume it is food that contains fat, salt, sugar etc.

Most foods, in some form or other, contain traces of at least one of the above. Therefore are we to see a tax imposed by the state on all food?

Ker Farking Ching!

Failing that, would it be only on food that the "elite" don't eat (eg the fried chicken type of fast food)?

As ever Nanny is missing the rather obvious point, the food itself is not evil but it is the quantities consumed and the sedentary lifestyle of the consumers of that food that causes weight/health problems.

Therefore, taking this to its logical conclusion, why tax all of us for the indulgences of others? Instead of taxing the food, why not simply tax people who are obese (a variation of the poll tax)?

Needless to say, there then comes the tricky question, who exactly defines what obesity actually is?

Given that many of our politicians are rather portly, they are not really in the best position to tell us that we are fat!

Better still, why not simply let us get on with our lives in peace!

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Speed

I am gemused to read that, according to statistics published by Nanny's Department for Transport, many speed cameras have not cut accident rates, but may even have increased them.

Our local councils, proving once again that they are the enemies of the people, have been a tad reluctant to publish the full data on each speed camera in their area.

Why?

Cos they make a nice fat little profit out of fining those who "speed".

However, the government has told them to all publish the data, as motorists have a right to know whether local speed cameras are justified. Needless to say, the councils will ignore this request.

Here are a couple of examples:

A speed camera was erected (ooh there's that word again!) on the A329 in Little Milton in 1997 (despite there being no collisions or casualties for five years).

Over the next five years there were five collisions and ten casualties.

A camera was installed on the A1134 Newmarket Road in Cambridgeshire in 1997 following five minor casualties.

In 2010, when 1,027 drivers were caught breaking the 30mph speed limit, there were seven injuries, two of them serious.

As noted, councils are the enemies of the people!

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The Dangers of Train Travel

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The Danger of Mats

Oh dear I see Nanny's pet hate has vomited itself into our lives again.....I refer of course to the dangers of doormats!

Lubin Reyes, like many householders, has placed a doormat outside of his home of ten years. Sadly for him he resides in a block of flats in Bedford that are under the jackboot of Nanny.

His mat has offended Nanny (Bedfordshire Pilgrims Housing Association) and was therefore covered in warning tape together with a sign reading "move it or lose it".

For why?

The housing association said it was a health and safety hazard.

What kind of health and safety hazard?

A fire hazard!

Mr Reyes is keeping the mat.

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Nanny Bans Jerry

I am gemused to read that the residents of Aylesford have been banned by Nanny from filling up Jerry Cans (fuel cannisters) with petrol at their local petrol stations.

For why?

Nanny is worried that these may be used by erstwhile rioters to start a riot.

Fair enough except:

1 Aylesford is not an inner city centre.

2 The people who do this use the fuel for their lawnmowers.

3 Rioters and other dickheads tend not to bother wandering along to petrol stations to buy fuel, they simply syphon it off from other people's cars.

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New Pictures on KenFrost.com

Off topic, but I am pleased to say there are some really good new pictures up on www.kenfrost.com

Feel free to check them out, more coming soon!

Ken

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Nanny's Top Ten

Chris Grayling, the employment minister, has published the 10 "most bizarre" health and safety bans which have come to light since he took office just over a year ago:

1. Murray Mount closed at Wimbledon because of rain
2. Butlins ban on dodgem cars from bumping into each other
3. A ban on Royal wedding street parties
4. The removal of a bulky TV from a pensioner's home
5. Carnivals with fancy dress parades
6. Kite flying on a popular tourist beach in east Yorkshire
7. Stopping pupils from going on playground monkey bars
8. Using pins to secure commemorative poppies
9. School football games without a sponge ball
10. Children banned from the sack race on sports day

Good for the H&SE and for Grayling for publishing these!

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Nanny Bans Crates

My sympathies to the pupils of Wychwood Primary who, for the last 15 years, have managed to find innocent fun and entertainment (imaginary cars, boats houses etc) with milk crates donated to them by the local milkman.

Alas and alack, Dairy Crest (which now owns the milk company that once provided the crates) have now banned the use of these crates and have seized those (without telling the school) that were within the grounds of the school.

For why?

Health and Safety!

Two points here:

1 The crates were in fact the previous milk company's (ie they are not the property of Dairy Crest), are Dairy Crest therefore not guilty of theft then?

2 No child has ever been hurt playing with the crates.

Dairy Crest claim that there are health and safety regulations that are applicable.

Errrm..would they care to specify exactly what law applies in this case?

I will wager no such regulation exists!

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Prat Of The Week - The Barman at The Britannia

Another Monday morning has appeared, to ease the gloom that shrouds our minds let me award my internationally renowned and famous "Prat of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to an anonymous barman at the Britannia pub in the City.

For why?

Ask Ali Ineson and Emma Rutherford who had been taking their kids around various sites of the City (eg the Monument, HMS Belfast etc), and popped into the Britannia (which allows kids inside) for a well earned drink.

The ladies ordered soft drinks for their kids, and a white wine spritzer and vodka and coke for themselves.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, the barman refused to serve them booze.

For why?

In his view, it would be "inappropriate" for them to drink in front of their children.

Errmm..that being the case, why does the Britannia allow kids into its bar where they can see lots of adults drinking booze?

Given that he was "happy" to serve soft drinks to the kids, what farking business is it of his what the adults drink?

Methinks it may well have been a lame/bollocks excuse, used because he simply didn't want the families cluttering up the pub when he had City "gents" to serve. That being the case, he should have had the guts to be truthful.

The Britannia is run by Stonegate Pub Company, the company are now investigating what went on there.

Anyhoo, here's to the anonymous barman at the Britannia...well deserving Prat of The Week!

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Something For The Weekend

I am gemused to read that MDMA, the main ingredient in ecstasy, might prove to be an effective treatment for leukaemia, lymphoma and myeloma.

The Investigational New Drugs journal has published a study that shows a variation of the drug could be used by doctors to treat cancer if it can be produced in a safe form.

What will Nanny say?

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Excessive!

I was sorry to read of the sad outcome of a dispute between an elderly pensioner (Pauline Spoor of Hattersley, Greater Manchester) and the RSPCA over her old frail dog Dexter (18).

Dexter was suffering from severe arthritis and conjunctivitis, and in the opinion of the professionals needed to be put down to be out of his misery. Mrs Spoor, being human, couldn't bear to have her companion put down.

In May the RSPCA alerted the polcie to the dog's plight, and they duly broke into Mrs Spoor's home and placed Dexter with the RSPCA who put him down.

Mrs Spoor was then taken to court and convicted of animal cruelty. She was sentenced to wear an electronic tag on her ankle, and given a 3 month curfew preventing her from leaving her home at night.

Why would a frail elderly woman living in Manchester want to leave her home at night?

It seems to me that the above sentence is disproportionate to the circumstances. Sadly, this case has been ignored as certain publicity seeking politicians seem more concerned with trying to lessen the sentences handed out to morons who try to start riots using Faecesbook.

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Royston's Big Brother

I am somewhat disturbed to learn that Royston, a town in Hertfordshire with a population of 15,000, has installed sets of police cameras on every road leading in and out of the town which record the numberplates of every vehicle that passes them.

The system then checks the plates against a variety of databases, studying them for links to crimes, and insurance and tax records, and alerting police accordingly.

Is Royston such a dangerous place?

Ermm..no it isn't..there were in fact only 7 incidents of vehicle crime in the town the other month.

Details of the cars' movements will stay on police records for 2 years, or 5 if the car is connected to a crime.

Why does Nanny need to keep details of a non criminal car's movements on her systems for 2 years?

Who has access to this data?

Will we see details sold on the the media (as seems to be the norm these days)?

As we saw in the recent riots the police seem to like to use CCTV for "post crime" clean up, rather than crime prevention. One has to ask, how do these things really make people feel any safer?

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Thanks

Thanks for your help yesterday folks wrt checking that my new site was visible.

I am pleased to say that the site is now fully up and functional, and that it can be accessed via the domain www.kenfrost.com

Ken

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Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

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Nanny's New Five a Day

I am gemused to see that having ditched her derided "five a day" campaign for fruit and vegetable eating, Nanny has decided to launch a new "five a day" campaign.

This time it will be aimed at parents (not just those people who don't turn up to court when their brats are appearing for looting).

Nanny is to launch a TV, radio and printed media campaign to tell parents to play with, read, talk, praise, and feed their children every day.

Gosh..you mean you have to feed kids???

In a nod to the commercial benefits (ie expect lots of toy companies backing this, in exchange for some taxpayers subsidy and free PR), companies that make toys, children’s books and baby food will be encouraged to brand their products with an official logo.

It seems that "research" has found that the quality of parenting and educational influences in the early years of a child’s life have an overwhelming influence on their later progress at school and careers.

Well DUH!

Don't tell me that someone was actually paid to come up with that statement of the bleedin' obvious?

Poorer parents will be “incentivised” to attend courses to help them complete the “five-a-day” essential actions. They will be rewarded for attending classes with higher child benefit payments or annual bonuses.

Doubtless with all this nonsense being spoken about "moral decay" (hasn't Cameron ever looked at Hogarth's prints?), this campaign will receive even more prominence.

However, as noted above, normal parents (poor/wealthy) know perfectly well that they should play with, read to, engage...oh, and FEED! their children; they don't need the state to interfere in that.

In fact the more that the state seeks to interfere, the more people assume that it is in fact the state's responsibility to bring up their kids.

However, the "court absent" parents and those who think it normal that their "good little boy" carried a hammer taped to his leg whilst robbing a store (ie those who need to improve their parenting skills) will not take the slightest bit of notice of Nanny's advice.

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A Favour II

Sorry folks, can you see the site now?

I am upgrading my massively out of date main website and would like to check to see if the Beta version is visible or not.

Please could someone have a look and see if www.kenfrost.net is visible?

Thanks

Ken

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

A Favour

Folks, I am upgrading my massively out of date main website and would like to check to see if the Beta version is visible or not.

Please could someone have a look and see if www.kenfrost.net is visible?

Thanks

Ken

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Bollocks

Monday morning crashed into my life in a particularly jarring way today.

I made the mistake of watching 5 minutes of BBC Breakfast, at a time when two people (I know not who they were) were being interviewed about the causes of the riots.

In a nutshell here are the "causes" (according to them):

1 Children want to be respected, but feel they are not "respected"

2 Children should be heard

3 During the school holidays there is nothing for "children" to do

4 "Children" perceive adult authority as "oppressive"

Well then!

The above is utter bollocks to my humble view:

1 Respect is earned, it is not an automatic birthright

2 This is an adult world, "children" should not be heard at all and should have no say in how it is run.

3 It seems to me there is an awful lot that "children" can do during the holidays, yet many of them prefer to sit inside fiddling with their pcs or watching MTV.

4 Were adult authority that "oppressive" the little brats would not have been able to riot in the first place.

5 The age range of the rioters was between 10-25+ hardly an exclusively "childrens'" riot!

As said, watching this proved not to be a great start to Monday!

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The Response To Social Unrest

I cannot say that I am entirely in agreement with David Cameron's suggestions that it might be a good idea to shut down social networking sites during times of "unrest".

1 It may not actually be technically possible to totally shut them down.

2 It is the technique used by dictators that we are pro-actively encouraging people in other countries to overthrow.

3 It will turn an issue that is in effect "criminality" into one that is a "political cause".

In short, it would be a very dangerous step to take.

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Meat Free

I was rather gemused to read recently of a protest organised by the binmen of Brighton.

Following the election of a the new Green party Council in May, some "bright spark" in the council had the "spiffing idea" (or should I say "spliffing", given that this is Brighton?) of introducing "meat free Mondays".

The council removed bacon butties, lamb chops et al from the council canteen menu on Mondays.

This action caused the binmen to stage a protest.

The result?

The council have caved in, and meat is now being served again on Mondays.

Quite right, why should the council infliuct its dietary fads on others

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Nanny's Children

These "ladies" from Croydon, interviewed by the BBC, are most surely the children of the Nanny state:

- They have no sense of personal responsibility

- They are selfish and self centred

- They are ignorant

- They expect things to be handed to them on a plate

- They have an inflated sense of "entitlement"

- They believe that they deserve "respect", yet will not do anything to earn respect

- They are morons

- They have no ambition, other than to fill their lives with worthless "consumer totems"

- They have no empathy for anyone around them

- They have no sense of responsibility

- They blame others for their own failings

They are truly Nanny's children!

A shopkeeper from Croydon, who lost everything, was interviewed and said that he has worked 7 days a week 14 hours a day for many years. He rang the police 3 times, whilst his shop was being attacked, and was told that he shouldn't waste police time.

Nanny stood by and allowed the mob to destroy everything that he has worked for.

The riots have, ironically, highlighted one thing; the fundamental failure of our society, where the state allows a mob to destroy the businesses and homes of the law abiding majority who work hard and pay taxes.

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The Riot - Health and Safety

The reality of living in the Nanny sate!

Clapham Cleaners have told by police that can't clean up riot zone. It's a council decision due to health and safety.

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The Riots

Sad to see that my birthplace (Croydon), where my mum lives, was hit by the rolling infestation of rioting scum yesterday (a.o. Reeves a family business of 140 years was burned to the ground).

An awful lot has been said by many pundits, "community experts", politicians etc about these ongoing riots. Some are claiming this is some form of release of anger about cuts, police treatment of coloured youths, deprivation etc etc.

Let's be clear, the above excuses are utter bollocks!

Looting and burning down neighbours' houses and shops has absolutely no connection to the above excuses. How does burning a neighbour's house down constitute "a response to the cuts"?

It doesn't, because it has nothing to do with the "cuts", as we all know perfectly well!

The mayhem of the last few days has been caused by criminal, feckless, opportunistic scum (c*nts, if your prefer the term) who have seized the opportunity to cause some trouble (to feed their egos) and to loot various "must have items" (tokens amongst the group that they belong to eg; trainers, watches, "bling" etc).

It is noteworthy that the riots have been co-ordinated by Blackberry wielding scum (clearly not as "deprived" as the excuse mongers would have us believe!).

There have been those who claim that these incidents were caused by people "outside of the community".

Again, utter bollocks!

As and when the scum are rounded up (and they will be over the coming days and weeks), it will be found that they are resident in the towns/boroughs and streets that they attacked.

Animals do not shit in their own bedding, yet these scum (apparently, mentally lower down the evolutionary scale than animals) seem quite content to shit in their own bedding.

As and when the flames die down (and they will eventually) the scum will realise that the short term "high" that they got from rioting and from stealing (trainers and other assorted trash - that seem to hold some "street value" to them) is fleeting indeed.

All that has been achieved is that they have made their "villages" (for that is what London is, a collection of villages) more unpleasant to live in (less facilities, less shops etc).

The fact that these scum have managed to get away with this gives rise to a number of conclusions/questions:

1 "Community leaders" (what exactly, in a democracy, is a "community leader"? Are they elected? Do they hold/wield power? I don't know any, do you? etc) have lost control (if they ever really had any) over the "youth" within their "community".

2 The families of the scum know full well that their offspring (ranging from 12-25 or so) are involved in this, yet they do nothing to stop them.

3 The UK has more CCTV per head of the population than any other country on the planet, yet the police appear to be surprised and taken unawares by the flare ups around the country. Why?

4 The scum are using Blackberries to organise themselves. Journalists from the Guardian claim that they managed to follow where the next riot was going to take place, why couldn't the police do likewise?

5 Abandoning the streets, and the safety of law abiding citizens, to the actions of the mob is not a police "tactic" that I have seen before, on such a large scale, in this country. Why have the law abiding citizens, who have lost businesses and homes, been abandoned by the police?

6 As and when the scum are tracked down and arrested it is sad to say, but unfortunately realistic, that the legal punishments that will be dished out by the courts will be laughed at by the scum. A more effective punishment needs to be derived.

As I have stated before on this site, the most effective form of punishment for scum like this is to deprive the scum and their families of the things that they value the most (mobile phones, pcs, TVs, ipods etc etc). The entire family should be locked up in their own homes every night and forced to confront each other with the reality of their lives/family relationships and the consequences of their actions on the lives of others.

Without the distractions of their "toys" (eg TVs etc), and with nowhere to go, the results will be dramatic.

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Prats Of The Week - South Gloucestershire Council

Another Monday morning crashes down upon us, with the depressing inevitability of an unloved season!

Therefore what better occasion for me to award another of my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes to South Gloucestershire Council.

For why?

Just ask Christine Hudson, who recently erected (may I say "erected"?) a 12" wooden panel/fence for her fuchsias.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, she received a visit from a council planning inspector.

For why?

The 12" erection was deemed to be an 'unauthorised development'.

At this point one would ask what sad bastard, who clearly needs a life, reported her to the council in the first place?

Anyhoo, aside from sad bastard (seemingly a neighbour who didn't like it), South Gloucestershire Council informed Mrs Hudson by letter that she needed planning permission for the erection. In the event that Mrs Hudson did not apply for retrospective permission, she would be forced to de-erect the fence.

Mrs Hudson, quite rightly, refused and tore the letter up.

Unsurprisingly, now that the media have kicked up a fuss, South Gloucestershire Council has now retracted its request for retrospective planning permission.

Councils are the enemy of the people!

South Gloucestershire Council, well deserving Prats of The Week.

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Chaos Unreported and Ignored

Nanny's media and police appear to be wanting to pretend that nothing much is happening in Wood Green.

However, it appears that reality is somewhat different.

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The End of The Euro Experiment

Those of you worried about the prospects of European financial and political hegemony (ie a Euro sized version of Nanny) should take comfort in the fact that the Euro experiment, in its present form, will fail.

Why?

Here's why..Why EU Finances Are In Such A Mess

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When I'm 64

I see that a veritable storm of hysteria is being whipped up by the media/state, as people have suddenly realised that we are living longer.

No bad thing surely? (Unless you are watching the current Torchwood series).

Well yes and no.

Whilst it is nice that we have moved on from the Victorian habit of dying in a our mid 40's, we have also realised that living to a grand old age brings with it a number of problems eg:

- infirmity
- mental decline
- lack of respect from others
- loneliness etc etc

Whilst some of these issues can be resolved by families and neighbours being a little more interactive with those who are elderly, other issues (such as severe mental and physical decline) require professional help/intervention (whether that is day care at home, or more hands on treatment in a hospital/care home).

These interventions come at a cost, the older we live the more of us will need longer and more expensive professional help.

The state/media have now realised (Doh!) that as we live longer (around 30% of people born now will live to 100) it will cost more to look after us.

"Small problem", we can't afford it!

Estimates being bandied around, are that those who live to 100 in the future will spend around 60 of those years receiving state benefits (in one form or another).

No matter what positive changes we might make to society's attitudes to the elderly, and no matter how much more families actually help their elderly relatives, living to a "ripe old age" looks to be a pretty unpleasant prospect as we will end up having to entrust what remains of our bodies and minds to Nanny (a Nanny that is broke).

The irony in all of this is that Nanny keeps lecturing the "young" about their eating, drinking, smoking, exercise and drug taking habits.

For why?

In order that they may live longer!

A cost benefit analysis will show (I guarantee this) that it would be far better (for the state, and our quality of lives) if we drop dead of alcohol/food/substance abuse in our 50's/60's rather than live on in dreary boredom, neglect, squalor and abuse until we are 100.

Mark my words, Nanny will one day start to encourage us to smoke fags, take drugs and (if necessary) pop a suicide pill.

As my late uncles once said:

Getting old sucks!

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The Dangers of Sooty

I see that Nanny has failed in her duty re warning us about the dangers of pizzas being thrown by Sooty.

Really?

Yes, just ask Paul Daniels who was filming a scene for The Sooty Show.

It seems that Sooty threw a pizza at Daniels so hard (as part of the show), that Daniels suffered a black eye and had to be taken to hospital for treatment.



Why did Nanny not stop this blatant disregard of health and safety rules?

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Local Hero

Once in a while, amidst the daily deluge of stories about Nanny and her jobsworths imposing petty rules and regulations on a passive populace, it is heartening to see people sticking two fingers up and doing their own thing.

Therefore kudos to a local resident who I have seen on more than one occasion in the last week climb through the sky light of the roof of his house, clamber onto the roof and sit bestriding the apex of the two sides of the roof whilst leaning against the chimney.

For why?

He likes to watch the sunset!

I am sure that there are numerous "health and safety" issues wrt doing this, but it's nice to see someone doing something that disregards them:)

Kudos to him!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

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How To Handle Illegal Parking

My compliments to the Mayor of Vilnius (Lithuania's capital) for his novel and non bureaucratic (plus non Ker Farking Ching!) approach to dealing with illegal parking in Vilnius!

That's the way to do it!

One small word of warning, when I used to work in the Baltics (in the late 1990's) expensive cars (such as those crushed) tended to be owned by the Mafia.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats Of The Week - Canterbury Council

Oooh err Missus, tis a Monday morning and time for another "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week the award goes to Canterbury Council.

For why?

Just ask Kenneth Lightfoot, a street magician.

Mr Lightfoot was entertaining an audience of more than 100 in Canterbury, with a trick which involves ‘magically hurling’ a playing card onto a nearby roof.

No, the council didn't arrest him for not having a licence or insurance policy to entertain the crowd.

Can you guess what they did complain about though?

Yes, that's right, a "Street Scene Inspector" - SS Inspector (a what??) told Mr Lightfoot that if the playing card (which landed on the roof of a building) fell to the ground he would be fined on the spot for littering.

The audience told the SS Inspector to get a life, sadly the SS Inspector chose to ignore them.

Mr Lightfoot gave up and stopped performing.

Canterbury Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries