Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.
Showing posts with label Norwich. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Norwich. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Prats of The Week - University of East Anglia Student Union


Well knock me down with a feather, it is time to award another prestigious Prats of The Week Award.

This time it goes to the University of East Anglia Student Union.

For why?

For banning students from getting free sombreros from a local Tex-Mex restaurant.

For why?

Seemingly sombreros are "racist"!

Students were being given free sombreros at a freshers' fair by a local Tex-Mex restaurant, in a bid to drum up business, before they were ordered to stop; because it violated cultural appropriation rules.

Not content with merely banning the distribution of the sombreros, University of East Anglia student union officials also requisitioned (ie stole) the big floppy hats from students at the Freshers' Fair.

It is somewhat ironic that sombreros offered by a restaurant that sells Mexican food are deemed to be racist. Maybe the hapless restaurant should have handed out bowler hats instead?

Campaigns and Democracy officer (whatever that means?) Chris Jarvis is quoted by the Telegraph:
"We know that when it comes to cultural appropriation the issues can sometimes be difficult to understand and many don't realise that they may be about to cause offence or break a policy. 

So we're discussing internally how we can improve our briefing to both external organisations and our own members so that people aren't caught out at the last minute.

At the SU we want all members feel safe and accepted, so at all events we try to ensure that there is no behaviour, language or imagery which could be considered racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic or ableist."
I assume that all Speedy Gonzales films are banned by the union too?

The University of East Anglia Student Union, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Friday, April 12, 2013

Only The Lonely



My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to a fine example of Nanny becoming over zealous wrt road signage, and then deciding (thanks in part the the actions of a prankster) that her original signage was bollocks.

Nanny's chums from Norwich City Council originally added the word "only" to sign indicating that the road is for only buses between 7:30AM and 9:30AM.

Step forward a prankster who added an extra sign beneath it, saying "the lonely".

Needless to say this prompted Nanny to get the wheels in motion to remove the prankster's sign, but Nanny will also be removing her sign as well.

For why?

Seemingly it wasn't needed after all!

Norwich Evening News quotes a remarkably convoluted civil service speak explanation from the council:
“When potential enforcement action needs to be taken by local authorities they have to be sure of their ground as it’s becoming increasingly common for people to challenge it.

Our initial interpretation of regulations on this matter was that the sign needed the word ‘only’ to be legal. However, having carefully reconsidered the regulations, we’re now confident that the word ‘only’ does not need to be added to take enforcement action and so we shall remove the ‘only’ along with the addition which has been made.”
Isn't it funny how Nanny can change her opinions about her own rules and regulations?

No wonder there is such a void of understanding between normal people and the councils htat rule them!

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Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Sue, Grabbit and Run II - Confusion Abounds


The furore over PC Kelly Jones's claim for compensation after tripping over a kerb shows no sign of abating, and has brought about a confused and muddled response from the police force itself.

Stephen Bett, the Norfolk police and crime commissioner, has called on Jones to withdraw her compensation claim.

As per the BBC:
"In my mind, that would be the right thing to do and, judging from what people have been telling me, what the public would want to see.

Police officers, like other members of the emergency services, accept that when they join up they may have to put themselves in danger in order to do their job.

It is appalling to think that rather than putting the public first, there are some who see the possibilities of taking their own legal action to benefit financially."
Norfolk's chief constable Phil Gormley said he was "disappointed personally and professionally" by the claim:
"Policing is a contact sport, as is life on occasions. You can't eliminate all risk.

I'm not saying be cavalier but one of the things when I was a lot younger that attracted me to the police service was that level of excitement and, on occasions, risk.

You only have to sit in an accident and emergency department and all around you in many places there are encouragements to sue people.

It breeds defensive organisations and it generates a lot of bureaucracy."
However, Steve Williams, chairman of the Police Federation of England and Wales, which is backing the claim, said PC Jones should not be vilified.

As per the Norwich Evening News:
“Both the public and police officers have expressed concern that this type of case has been taken forward. However, it is important that the public understand that police officers are not financially compensated by their own force for injuries received on duty and, in fact, can lose money through half pay and reduction in allowances.

Let me be clear – to vilify this female officer is wrong.

She took legal advice as to how she could claim back some of her lost earnings as a result of the injury, and at this stage no formal proceedings have taken place.

In my view it is actually we [the federation] that should be looking at our processes and structures in terms of how we provide advice.

She is our member and I feel that our organisation has failed to prepare her for the wider personal impact that might arise from such a claim.

The police federation’s structure is being independently reviewed and no doubt how we continue to provide advice in the round for our members will be examined as a result of this unusual case. 

While PC Jones may be an easy target as she is one individual within a media storm, for me it is the police federation that needs to be mindful of the widespread public and member perception that has arisen out of this claim, and address that where relevant in our advice going forward.”
That is all very well, but what did they expect would happen when a police officer sues a member of the public who is not a criminal?

David Abbott, a retired police officer from Hadleigh, is quoted by EADT24:
“I have been retired for eight years now but during my 30 years in the force, working in places such as Ipswich and Hadleigh, I was assaulted by people, bitten, scratched and kicked by wild and domestic animals, and I tripped on a dark railway line. 

I fell into an HGV inspection pit in pitch dark, broke an ankle climbing over high gates while pursuing a suspect, and I was even shot at with a firearm. 

We didn’t even have stab-proof vests in those days, but everything was in the line of duty and not once did it ever occur to me that I could claim against anyone.

This should never had been pursued in the first place as no permanent damage was done (to Pc Jones). In my opinion, the whole thing is ludicrous. If tripping up a kerb is worst that you encounter as a police officer, then you are very lucky.”
Quite so!


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Monday, December 10, 2012

Prats of The Week - Hellesdon Parish Council

Ooh err missus, I have been so occupied with other Nanny matters that there has been quite a gap since my last "Prats of The Week" Award.

Therefore, without further ado, I am happy to announce that this week it goes to Nanny's chums from Hellesdon Parish Council.

For why?

Just ask Samantha Dade, a professional child minder who needed to accompany her five year old diabetic daughter (Tilly-Rose) to a Christmas party held in in the Hellesdon community centre the other week.

Sadly for Mrs Dade and her daughter, she was told that she would not be allowed to accompany Tilly-Rose (even though Tilly-Rose doesn't have "hypo awareness" and cannot sense when she is in danger) which in effect would mean that Tilly-Rose could not go.

Why was Mrs Dade banned?

Hellesdon Parish Council's policy sates that only adults who are CRB checked would be allowed to come to the party. One wonders what an adult with evil intentions could do in a public place surrounded by other adults, but Nanny's rules are somewhat inflexible.

Anyhoo, the rather "odd" thing is that Mrs Dade does in fact have CRB accreditation, done by Norfolk County Council.

So all's well that ends well?

No, for you see Hellesdon Parish Council insisted that the check has to be carried out by them as well, and that Norfolk County Council's CRB check is not transferable.

Suffice to say a stink was raised over this nonsense.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, Hellesdon Parish Council in the face of being made to look like knobheads in public changed its mind and reversed its decision.

The Lowestoft Journal reports that at a meeting last week, Hellesdon Parish Council decided to revoke their decision on barring Mrs Dade from taking her daughter to their party on Saturday – but only after banning the Norwich Evening News and Eastern Daily Press from the meeting.


Hellesdon Parish Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

HSE Bans Everything



My thanks to a loyal reader who recently pointed me to a Health and Safety fracas involving Nanny's Health and safety Executive (HSE) and AgChemAccess (an agrochemical company that imports products into the UK for global distribution).

AgChemAccess is suing the HSE for £2M,  for issuing "illegal" enforcement notices that stopped the company trading agrochemicals for two months and nearly forced the company out of business.

Farmers Weekly reports that the HSE brought the Norwich company's international agrochemical trade to a standstill for two months this summer, after it wrongly ordered movement restrictions on the whole of its UK-held stock.

An HSE investigator, who inspected third-party warehouses holding stock belonging to AgChemAccess, issued the company with a series of enforcement notices on 11 July. He believed the company was breaching safety regulations, and enforced a two-month movement ban on its UK-held stock.

However, on 29 August, following successful judicial review proceedings, the inspector accepted that he had no reasonable grounds to issue the enforcement notices and these were quashed.

Nicholas Gooch, director of AgChemAccess, said:
"The HSE did not engage with us in any way to try to resolve the problem.

They just simply put a blanket on us."
As loyal readers know, Nanny's obsession with one size fits all and a jobsworth attitude to regulations is a very dangerous combination.

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Friday, April 30, 2010

Thumb Prints

BS
I was gemused to read recently about the scheme being operated in Norwich (at the request of the police) by a number of second hand stores re collecting customers' thumbprints.

Customers are being asked to leave a thumbprint when trading in second-hand goods for cash, in order to stop criminals making money out of stolen items.

The police say that the prints would be kept in shops, not on any central database, and police investigating other crimes would be able to examine them.

Inspector Lisa Hooper said that the idea was to act as a deterrence to thieves from trying to sell stolen property in second-hand shops. I would venture to suggest that the thieves would simply fence their stolen booty in another area/town.

Anyhoo, Inspector Hooper said:

"The scheme will deter criminals from even trying to sell property to the shops who have signed up to the scheme, it will not affect law-abiding customers so they need not (have) fear of their thumbprint being obtained.

It is purely to put a stop to the flow of stolen goods in the city and in the second-hand shops who are the ones who feel the financial cost if stolen items are recovered by police, even though they genuinely bought the items from the customer.

We hope that customers will support the scheme and voluntarily allow their thumbprint to be taken
."

All very well, maybe.

However, what happens to the thumbprint data of innocent people when it is accessed by the police?

Presumably the data has to be taken back to the police station for comparison with that of alleged criminals, and for comparison with "scene of crime" forensics data?

How secure is the data in the shops anyway, and how long do they keep it?

Are customers under any legal obligation to provide thumbprints?

The scheme seems riddled ethical and security flaws to me.

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Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Prats of The Week - Norwich City Council

Prats of The WeekTis a Tuesday (post Bank Holiday) morning and time, methinks, to award another of my prestigious and internationally famous "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes to Norwich City Council, for their fuddy duddy attitude to a memorial created by Kevin Edwards in Earlham Cemetery for his brother Darren.

The memorial consists of a bench on a bed of pebbles. Initially there were concerns that the bench did not comply with council guidelines wrt memorials. However, the issue that is sticking in the craw of the council is the use of pebbles as bedding.

The council worries that the pebbles may be picked up by vandals and thrown, hence they want the pebbles removed.

However, the pebbles have been there for a couple of months and no one has picked them up for throwing.

Seemingly the regulatory services team from the council are working with Mr Edwards to resolve the issue wrt the loose pebbles.

Isn't this a bit fuddy duddy?

The dead will not notice if a few pebbles are thrown.

Wouldn't this council, and indeed other councils, be better spending their time checking for loose paving slabs etc in city centres, which are the missile of choice of yobs?

I live in Brighton and wonder what Norwich City Council would say about the humongous number of pebbles on our beach!

Norwich City Council, well meaning, but well deserving Prats of The Week.

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Friday, May 29, 2009

Prats Of The Week - The Dangers of Fish and Chips

Prats of The WeekOoh my word, I haven't awarded my world renowned and internationally respected "Prats of The Week" Award for quite some time.

Methinks it is time to do so!

This week it goes to the wardens (and Norwich council who employed them) of Lakenfields sheltered housing complex in Norwich.

Lakenfields is a sheltered housing complex for elderly people. It has a good community spirit, whereby each week George Pretty (72) would do a fish and chip shop run and bring back fish and chips for his 18 fellow residents who were not able to get out.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, the health and safety gestapo decreed that there may be a health and safety risk wrt the ambient temperature of the fish and chips.

The result being that the wardens banned Mr Pretty from doing the run, as the fish and chips (at possibly low ambient temperature) presented a clear and present danger to the residents.

OK, here's why this is total bollocks:

1 Fish and chips can be eaten stone cold, with no ill effects.

2 The residents, if they thought they were too cold would doubtless not bother ordering/eating them again.

3 The residents are doubtless intelligent enough to determine what they wish to eat, and how they wish it to be provided.

4 The complex is not a prison camp.

5 It is not the wardens' business what private citizens choose to eat.

6 Banning the one highlight, for the entire community, of the week was by anyone's standards mean spirited and cruel. A thoroughly loathsome thing to do.

7 How many people in the UK die from cold fish and chips...errrmmm...no one!

8 The journey takes all of 5 minutes!

Needless to say once a bit of a media storm erupted over this, the dorks at the council backed down and claimed that the wardens were being "over zealous"...done with the "best intentions" (Pah! the road to hell is paved etc). I guarantee that had not a storm erupted the council would not have lifted a finger.

Meals on wheels type boxes are now being provided; all very fancy, but I guarantee that the fish and chips arrive no warmer than had they been wrapped in paper only!

The wardens and Norwich City Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Nanny's Special Little Pledge - Catch Them Young

Nanny's Special Little Pledge
As we all know, unlike other countries Brits tend not to do "pledges"; regarding them as a tad suspect and reminiscent of tawdry dictatorships that we long ago bombed to oblivion.

Anyhoo, Nanny has decided to change all of that and "re-engineer" our thinking.

Her special little friends from Norwich and Norfolk Racial Equality Council had fun and games recently with a pledge that they tried to make children say during "Local Democracy Week".

"Local Democracy Week"!!!

Pass the sick bag someone!

Nanny's little "pledge incident" occurred during a workshop for children (aged between 6 and 11) organised by Norwich and Norfolk Racial Equality Council.

Many of the children were from Spooners Row Primary School, near Wymondham, Norfolk. Coincidentally residents from there are fighting plans by South Norfolk District Council to build a permanent travellers' site with eight pitches.

Can you guess what Nanny made the children do?

She tried to make them stand on chairs and recite a pledge to be nice to Gypsy and traveller children, welcome them into the community and not bully them. The children were encouraged to put their fingers in the air, or their hands on their hearts, to signify their acceptance.

Rather encouragingly, it seems that none of the children were fooled by this and did not stand up. Nanny went ahead and read out the pledge anyway.

A very low trick by Nanny in trying to brainwash the kids in this way.

Not very democratic was it?

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Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Dangers of Cabbage Stalks

The Dangers of Cabbage StalksFollowing on from yesterday's article about the Waste Gestapo in Norwich stomping their jackboots on an elderly man for putting a ketchup bottle in the wrong bin, it appears that they have a certain relish for stomping on the elderly and have done it again.

As retired milkman Barry Freezer (73) found to his cost recently, when he attempted to throw away some cabbage stalks in his bin.

Norwich City Gestapo refused to collect his waste and treated him like a criminal.

The binmen were following an edict of Nanny's that forbids food that may have come into contact with meat from being mixed with garden waste for composting, to prevent outbreaks of diseases such as foot and mouth.

For fark's sake!

Mr Freezer said:

"When did you last buy a cabbage with a stalk at a supermarket?

It should be obvious that this was garden waste that never came into contact with the kitchen.

I pay £35 a year on top of my council tax to have a garden waste bin and I am being treated like a criminal for following the rules.

No one told me exactly what I had done wrong so I moved the cabbage stalks into the household refuse bin, which was collected the following week. I then had to wait another week to see if they would collect the shrubbery clippings in my garden waste.

What am I supposed to do when my potatoes come? Sometimes the top is diseased and you shouldn't compost them.

I'll have to put them in the household bin but that won't be collected if it has garden waste.

The system is ridiculously complicated. People like me will be making 'mistakes' all the time.

I could burn my garden waste but it's not good for the environment
."

Mr Freezer's bin was "red tagged" as a punishment; normally two yellow warning tags are issued before a red tag, which is a final warning meaning rubbish won't be collected until it complies with the rules.

These ecofascists are the same "genetic spawn" as those who ban smoking, drinking, swimming, Mary Whitehouse wanabees etc.

They are sexually and socially inadequate individuals, with personality disorders, who get their rocks off by imposing their narrow views on the rest of us.

It is our fault for allowing Nu Labour to give these people the whip hand over us, and it is now time to wrest that whip back from them and to kick Nu Labour out of orifice.

Tell Norwich council what you think of them.

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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Nanny Bans Ketchup - Again

Nanny Bans Ketchup - AgainNanny's concern for the environment, in theory, is highly laudable.

We have but one planet, and to "crap on our own doorstep" is neither pleasant nor wise for our future health and well being.

However, in life, there are no black and white issues merely shades of grey. These grey realities require sensible human beings to exercise commonsense and sound judgement, before imposing petty rules and regulations.

It is a well recognised trait of Nanny that she possesses neither commonsense, nor sound judgement. She sees the world in black and white, and seeks to impose her petty rules and regulations irrespective of reality.

This sad reality was vividly brought home to Lenny Woodward, a 95 year old former Desert Rat who now resides in Norwich, the other day.

His crime?

He placed a ketchup bottle and coffee jar in the wrong bin.

His punishment?

Norwich council refused to collect his rubbish.

Residents of Norwich, like many towns across Nanny's Britain, have to suffer under the yoke of rigid rules wrt refuse disposal; they have a blue wheelie bin for cans and cardboard, a green box for glass and a black bin for other waste.

Mr Woodward made the mistake of putting the ketchup bottle and a coffee jar in the blue bin, when they should have gone in the green box.

A crime against the state!...in Nanny's eyes anyway.

When Nanny's binmen inspected the blue bin (doesn't this sound rather like they are employed as council spies?), they refused to empty it and attached a tag to it warning him not to break the rules again.

Mr Woodward's daughter rang Norwich City Council to explain that he made a mistake based on uncertainty about the system, rather than evil malice. Unfortunately the council have adopted that well known excuse used by petty officials from earlier times:

"Rules have to be obeyed".

Errmm...if the rules are ridiculous, no they don't!

You know folks, when these scumbags in local councils start to talk to people like that there is only one course of action left; remind them very forcibly who is the master and who is the servant.

Mr Woodward said:

"I'm very sorry it happened. It's just I'm confused. I don't know which bin is which so I put the wrong things in the wrong bin.

They could have knocked on my door and spoken to me about it instead of putting a note on the bin saying they would not empty it.

It all seems very childish. I've never broken the law before. I haven't even had a parking fine or speeding ticket
."

Mr Woodward comes from a generation who fought against oppression and tyranny being imposed by tinpot corporals, that generation was brought up to respect genuine authority and the rule of law.

Regrettably, Nanny and her acolytes in local councils have destroyed people's respect for the rule of law and for authority. That is why social order is breaking down.

Tell Norwich council what you think of them.

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

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Monday, May 19, 2008

Prats of The Week

Prats of The WeekTis a Monday morning, and therefore a good time to award my prestigious and world famous "Prats of The Week" award.

This week the award goes to Tesco.

Tesco is refusing to sell alcohol to parents shopping with their children.

Why?

Tesco are under the foolish delusion that this somehow will reduce underage drinking.

Tesco has issued an edict to its cashiers, who have been told not to supply alcohol if they suspect an adult is buying the drink for an underage youth.

Staff have been told to "err on the side of caution" (a very Nannyesque phrase - so much caution, so little common sense) when interpreting the policy.

Needless to say, given that we live in Nanny Britain, commonsense has been thrown out of the window and hapless customers shopping with their children have been told by Tesco staff to put alcohol back on the shelves.

Debbie Bell, a housewife from York, was told she could not buy a crate of lager at a Tesco Extra in the city with her stepson Michael Bruce, 18.

Mr Bruce, a student, was unable to show the cashier any proof of his age and his mother was told to put the 24 cans of Fosters and a bottle of cider back on the shelf.

Dominic Zenden, a television medium, was told he could not buy six bottles of Budweiser beer when he was accompanied by his 15-year-old daughter Devon. Mind you, since he is "psychic", he should have seen that one coming!

A cashier at the shop in Sprowston, Norwich, refused to believe Mr Zenden was not going to share the drink with his daughter.

He said:

"I was dumbfounded. There was absolutely no indication that my daughter would be drinking the alcohol – it was for me.

But the woman told me that they don't sell alcohol to people who have children with them
."

A Tesco spokesman said:

"I can understand the frustrations of the customer but I think that any reasonable parent would understand the problem and support our policy."

It's not up to a grocer to dictate to parents how they introduce their children to alcohol.

Tesco seem to have a wee bit of a split personality when it comes to booze, on the one hand they would us believe that they are highly responsible when it comes to selling alcohol and not encouraging "binge drinking". On the other hand, they have been known to sell booze at 22p per can.

Yet in March I wrote:

"They have recently publicly demanded that Nanny introduce new laws to ban the sale of cut-price alcohol.

Tesco claims that this is in response to the public concern over the level of drink-fuelled crime and disorder.

Tesco claim that legislation is required to 'ensure responsible pricing on alcohol'.

Now the more intelligent amongst you may well ask, why doesn't Tesco simply put their prices up?

Oh dear oh dear, how little you understand the dilemma that Tesco finds itself in.

You see, if it were to do that people would simply shop elsewhere; and we couldn't have that now, could we
?"

Tesco, well deserving Prats of The week.

The solution to this is simple, boycott their stores.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A Nice Little Earner II

A Nice Little EarnerNanny is forever labouring away looking for ways to increase her tax take, necessary to fun her ever burgeoning bureaucracy that she uses to dictate to and bully us how we should live our lives.

Recently she came up with a real corker, using her old favourite, parking charges.

Owners of many ordinary cars (including the Ford Focus, Renault Scenic and Vauxhall Vectra) will face an increase in the price of their annual parking permits, almost double in fact.

For why?

Simple, Nanny will be taxing people on the length of their conveyance.

Yes folks, size really does matter!

The fact that Nanny taxes motorists already via; petrol, congestion charges and road duties is neither here nor there.

Nanny's chums in Labour controlled Norwich Council will be the first authority to bring in the new "length tax", which will fill their coffers with millions more readies.

The Local Government Association said many other town halls were watching the experiment "with great interest".

I bet they are!

The Norwich scheme charges according to the car's dimensions, with vehicles divided into three bands.

Any car longer than 14ft 7in will be in the highest category, with the cost of an annual on-street parking permit rising from the current flat-fee of £16 to £30 (an inflation busting 90% rise).

The middle band of cars over 12ft 10in, fees will rise to £22; while all smaller cars will enjoy a price freeze.

The trouble is "large" cars are not always "gas guzzlers", many ordinary family cars will be placed in the same bracket as Nanny's hated 4x4.

Labour councillor Brian Morrey admitted that the move would lead to a rise in revenue...no kidding?

He then went on to insist that raising revenue was "not the point" of the plan, and the money would be ring-fenced for transport improvements.

That is utter bollocks!

The same lying shit has been used by government over the years re car tax and national insurance.

Nanny puts all the money she collects into a large pot, then divis it up between her acolytes.

It's a simple as that.

Coming soon, the sex tax!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Fungus Freaks Out At Foot Fetish

Fungus Freaks Out At Foot FetishNanny is really rather a stuffy old so and so. On the one hand, she claims that she hates intolerance and prejudice, yet on the other she can be remarkably intolerant and prejudiced herself.

Her best chum, Fungus Clarke the Home Secretary, showed his true colours the other day by writing a very stern letter to Norwich Council complaining about the opening of a new club in the town centre.

What is it about the club that has caused him to complain so vociferously?

Will it serve alcohol after 11PM?

No.

Is it a training ground for Muslim extremists?

No.

Well, it seems that the club is nothing more hamrless than an establishment for those who have a foot fetish. The owner, Roy Singfield, is going to open the "Trample Club" where men will be able to pay for women to walk on them in a variety of footwear.

Not eveyone's cup of teaa, I admit.

But where is the harm?

Isn't that the whole point of a free society, ie allowing people to do what they wish (so long as the law is not broken) in the privacy of their own homes or in a private club?

Mr Singfield said there would be no sex at the club, well we are British!

The club will have a tickling room, a trample room, a dungeon and a fantasy room.

Fungus Clarke
Needless to say, despite the fact that Fungus is Home Secretary, Norwich Council ignored his letter; the club will open.

Good for Norwich Council say I!

The guiding principle with any "non mainstream" activity should simply be, let people do what they want; so long as they don't do it in the street, and frighten the horses!

Nanny's Home Secretary should be concentrating on more important issues.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Conkers

Conker season is upon us again, a time of innocent joy for adults and children alike; unfortunately nanny hates conkers!

In previous years she has done her best to destroy the age old English custom of playing conkers.

In 2001 her friends in Norwich Council attempted to cut down a whole street of conker trees, their reasoning being:

  • Conkers were a danger to pedestrians, who could slip on the mulch they leave behind.


  • The golf-ball sized horse chestnuts could come crashing down onto passing cars, while sticks thrown by children to dislodge them could cause serious head injuries.


  • Children gathering conkers were at risk from vehicles.


  • Not content with cutting the trees down, some of nanny’s friends in the local councils have sought to ban conkers from school playgrounds. The councils are afraid of being sued by parents, in the event of an accident; they also fear the conkers could be used as an offensive weapon.

    Utter tosh!

    Doubtless nanny will be up to her old tricks again this conker season.

    Resist nanny’s meddling at all costs; remember, “the price of freedom is eternal vigilance!”.