Nanny Bans The Dambusters

Today is the 70th anniversary of the Dambusters' raid on the Mohne, Eder and Sorpe dams that were vital to the Nazi military industrial complex.

Seventy years ago 617 Squadron left RAF Scampton on its mission to destroy the dams.

To mark the anniversary there will be a sunset ceremony at Scampton attended by members of Guy Gibson’s (the squadron leader who led the raid) family, along with two veterans of the raid and the daughter of Barnes Wallis who invented the bouncing bombs that were used in the raid.

As well as events at Scampton, there will be various fly-pasts by the RAF’s Battle of Britain Memorial Flight and Friday’s international service at Lincoln Cathedral. Today the last operational Lancaster will fly down the Derwent Valley and strafe the Derwent Dam (which was used by the squadron as a practice target in their training for the raid).

Unfortunately many people who would like to watch this will be unable to.

For why?

Health and safety!

Severn Trent Water, which owns the dam, and other public sector ‘stakeholders’ have decreed that heavy traffic on country lanes would pose an unacceptable threat to the emergency services. So there can be no official event at the Derwent Dam.

The Mail quotes  Mary Stopes-Roe, daughter of Barnes Wallis:

"It’s absolutely ridiculous. Do they think we’re all going to fall into the water?"

Where would we be now, if this absurd attitude to health and safety been prevalent during the war?

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Nazi Tourettes

I see one of News Corps's proteges has caused a storm on his new radio show.

Glenn Beck (who has just left Fox News - part of News Corp) has compared the summer camp where the Norway massacre took place to a Nazi Hitler Youth camp.

"There was a shooting at a political camp, which sounds a little like, you know, the Hitler youth. I mean, who does a camp for kids that's all about politics? Disturbing."

Aside from the fact that this is disgracefully insensitive to the victims and their families, and that fact that it is bollocks, it also ignored one small fact.

Followers of Beck's 9/12 Project – which aims to "recapture the spirit of the day after America was attacked" – hold youth summer camps as well.

Organisers of the "vacation liberty schools", held in several states, teach children as young as eight a Tea Party endorsed curriculum spanning religion, economics and political principles.

Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourettes.

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Interfering Prats of The Week

Here is a variation, a sub award if you will, on my respected and acclaimed "Prats of The Week" Award.

I would like to award the interfering "one or two people", who caused Victoria Jubilee Museum in Cawthorne to remove a swastika flag (liberated by a local soldier from Berlin in 1945) from their Second World War exhibition, with my "Interfering Prats of The Week" Award.

Seemingly "one or two people" at a preview of the display complained that it showed a lack of respect to villagers who died in the war.

The museum committee did not want to upset anyone and covered the swastika with the Union flag; ie they allowed a vocal minority of "one or two people" to have their opinions placed ahead of the majority view.

Factoid: Someone brought it back after fighting to defeat the Nazis.

Airbrushing history in this manner is in fact something that the soldier (Louis Jagger), who liberated the flag, was fighting against.

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Bin Brother - Don't Play With Matches

Commiserations to Kenneth Bonnard who fell foul of Chesterfiled Borough Council's Bin Police the other day.

Mr Bonnard was collecting his great-granddaughter from school and, whilst waiting, he lit his pipe.

The match he used burnt his fingers, and he dropped it.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, as if by magic a jobsworth member of the Stasi from the local council (official title "enforcement officer") appeared and asked for Mr Bonnard's name, address and date of birth. He then slapped Mr Bonnard with a £50 fine for littering.

Mr Bonnard paid up, for if he didn't he faced a £2500 fine.

A nice little earner for the council.

Ker Farking Ching!

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Bin Brother - A Nation of Informers

I see that Hull City Council is adopting tactics used by rather odious regimes (past and present), to keep their citizens under control, by encouraging residents to report neighbours for 'environmental crimes'.

What is an environmental crime?

Putting bins out too early or late!

The Gestapo from Hull wants householders to fill in 'diary sheets' to log bin incidents.

Bin criminals could face a £100 fixed penalty notice or be fined up to £1,000 in court for leaving rubbish next to a bin or blocking a path with a bin.

And so it begins!

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Nanny Burns Fat People

Oh dear, Nanny seems to be having one of her "schizophrenic" moments.

Yesterday I reported that Nanny's chums in Liverpool were worried about the negative connotations of the word "obese", and were considering banning it.

However, Nanny's chums in Barnsley NHS have an entirely different "take" on obesity. They have taken it upon themselves to design and build a 40ft effigy of a fat boy eating a pile of burgers, pizzas and cakes.

Can you guess what they intend to do with it?

Yes, that's right, they intend to set fire to it during the Mayor's summer parade!

Errmm...so let me see, the message that Nanny is sending to fat children is that if you don't lose weight she will set fire to you.

Hmmmm, "interesting".

The Nazis started by burning books....

Maybe Nanny's ultimate plan is to use fat people as fuel?

Oh, and by the way, the taxpayers have funded the design and building of this fat sculpture.

All in all it sounds a pretty shitty idea to me.

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A Nation of Paedophiles - Nanny Sh*ts Herself II

Pass the sick bag someone, I had the great misfortune to watch Ed Balls (Children's Secretary - whatever that really means?) and Sir Roger Singleton, chairman of the Independent Safeguarding Authority, on TV last night trying to squirm their way out of the avalanche of criticism being heaped upon Nanny's head over her "Won't Someone Think of The Children?" database.

Balls now states that it is "tremendously important" to ensure the "right balance" has been struck and was relevant to "real life".

Sick bag again please!

When did this lousy government, and its brain dead apparatchiks, ever bother applying "real life" to their rules and diktats?

Balls droned on about what constitutes the difference between infrequent and frequent contact with children, as per Nanny's rule that frequent contact requires registration on her database.

Seemingly, in the eyes of Balls, 3 times a month would require registration.

That would of course mean, for instance, that shopkeepers who serve kids would have to register...wouldn't it?

This scheme is unworkable.

Aside from all the other points raised earlier on this site as to why it is wrong, can you seriously imagine that this government is capable of designing and building a database that can hold the details of 11 million people without there being some major cock up?

What government IT scheme has ever come in on time, on budget or on specification?

Take a look at HMRC or the NHS for "fine" examples of Nanny's failure in IT.

Anyhoo, dear old Ed (scared shitless by the public outcry, as I noted yesterday) has said he will review this lousy scheme.

Unfortunately he has passed the responsibility for the review to Sir Roger "The Dodger" Singleton (who has set the thing up). "The Dodger", who doesn't exactly exude charisma, bleated helplessly that this legislation was passed by parliament three years ago and that it was our "beloved" MPs who put this scheme together.

One might ask where were the Tories and Liberals then, and why didn't they kick up a fuss?

BTW folks, I warned about this in May 2008.

One might also ask why is it that our MPs are incapable of passing legislation that isn't full of holes?

As noted yesterday, Nanny is wounded. However, she is not yet ready to surrender, this needs to be taken to its final stage; to this end I suggest that you bombard your MPs, Balls and the media with your views as to why it is wrong.

It will be the only way to kill off this dangerous idea.

Here's Ed's addy ed@edballs.com, and here's his orifice dcsf.ministers@dcsf.gsi.gov.uk.

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A Nation of Paedophiles - Nanny Sh*ts Herself

It seems that Nanny has been a tad "stung" by the mounting furore over her draconian plans to place 11 million on her "Won't Someone Think of The Children?" database.

BTW, a child (as defined by the law) is anyone under 18. In theory that means those in the armed forces who interact with troops who are under 18 need also to be checked...doesn't it?

Or is there an exemption there?

While I am thinking about it, what about priests?...or is that a wee bit contentious?

Anyhoo, Sir Roger Singleton, chairman of the Independent Safeguarding Authority (ISA - the taxpayer funded quango that will enforce this nonsense), is clearly hurting and said that people need to "calm down" and consider the issue "rationally".

Roughly translated, what this bureaucrat is saying is this:

"You are behaving in an irrational and emotional way, we (Nanny) know best".

Somewhat patronising don't you think?

However, what this also tells us is that Nanny is now sh*tting herself over this, and realises that she has lost this one.

Keep pushing hard and she will bolt for cover, like a wounded animal, and rescind this nonsense.

Can't you smell the blood?

I can!

Here is a link to the Independent Safeguarding Authority's feedback page, where you can track the wounded animal down to its lair, and put it out of our misery.

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A Nation of Paedophiles - Nanny's New Poll Tax

As we all know, in Nanny's sick twisted little mind all adults are paedophiles until they prove otherwise.

To this end ZaNuLabour have decreed that all adults who have regular contact with children will have to submit to Nanny's vetting and barring scheme, due to be introduced next month.

Oh, by the way, apart from volunteers all registrants will have to pay £64 (a novel new poll tax).

Now my loyal readers, who exactly falls into the group that has "regular contact with children"?

Anybody who, for instance, drives groups of children to Scouts, Brownies or after-school sports clubs (ie parents).

Failure to undergo a criminal records check will incur a fine of £5K.

How many people does this cover?

11 million!

That would give Nanny a potential revenue stream of £700M.

Ker farking ching!

To add insult to injury, Nanny's paedophile database of 11 million innocent people will contain complaints and concerns registered by colleagues or members of the public (even if they don't lead to a prosecution).

In other words it will act as a repository for every piece of tittle tattle and gossip spread by malicious SOBs with nothing better to do, or with a chip on their shoulder.

This repository of venom and gossip will of course be available for viewing by any employer, or voluntary group, with which the person might work.

The Home Orifice will consider and record all information received, regardless of the source.

Read the above again a few times, so that you get the point.

Nanny has created a Gestapo style database. She has turned us into a poor man's version of Nazi Germany.

This of course won't have any real effect in stopping those who are paedophiles (despite Nanny's fantasy, there are not millions of them in the UK) doing what they want to do. All they have to do is get a certificate to prove they have have no criminal prosecution, and voila they have proof in writing from Nanny that they aren't a paedophile.

As to what message this sends to kids about adults, well it's obvious isn't it?

All adults are paedophiles unless they can prove otherwise.

Don't trust adults.

It is hardly surprising that the young feel alienated and afraid, and that they have few adult role models in their lives!

In the middle ages the state egged on the population to burn witches, now they egg on the population to "burn" adults.

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Nanny's Child Snatchers - Nottingham City Council

Emulating the SS, Nottingham City Council have taken it upon themselves to snatch a child away from her mother because, in Nottingham City Council's eyes, the mother is too stupid to look after the child.

Welcome to ZaNuLabour Britain, where the state dictates who may or may not bring up their own children!

Rachel (24), who for legal reasons can be identified only by her first name, has been told by a family court that her daughter will be placed with adoptive parents within the next three months, and she will then be barred from further contact.

Is Rachel really that thick?

According to a psychiatrist Rachel has no learning difficulties and "good literacy and numeracy and [that] her general intellectual abilities appear to be within the normal range".

Her daughter was born prematurely and Nanny's "officials" decided that Rachel didn't have the brains to cope with her complex medical needs, as such the baby was "fostered out".

It should be noted that the medical issue has now been resolved, the baby now needs little or no day-to-day medical care.

So why the fark is Nanny still taking the child away?

There is a rather nasty added twist to this sad story, Rachel's attempts thus far to fight Nanny have been scuppered by the fact that her case was taken over by the official solicitor.

Guess who the official solicitor works for?

Yes, that's right, Nanny!

Nanny brought her own man in because Nanny decided that Rachel wasn't bright enough to instruct her own solicitor.

Good game this isn't it?

Nanny skews the result in her favour by putting her own man in the defence team.

Can you guess what Rachel's (sorry, Nanny's) solicitor did?

Yes, that's right, he declined to contest the council's adoption application, despite the fact that Rachel wanted to fight it.

This sounds more like some third world dictatorship, rather than a "democratic" first world country.

Does Nanny not see how bad this looks?

Answer: she does, but she doesn't care!

After the psychiatrist's assessment of Rachel, the court acknowledged that she does have the mental capacity to keep up with the legal aspects of her situation. However, it has refused her attempts to halt the adoption process.

Rachel is now going to the European Court to fight this.

Correct me if I am wrong, but there seems to be more than handful of slackjawed, dribbling, knuckle scrapping morons in this country who breed like rabbits and are allowed to keep their children (even though they allow them to roam the streets like packs of feral vermin).

There have also been a good few cases of appalling cruelty inflicted upon children (eg baby P), yet Nanny stood idly by. In this particular case Nanny is not even pretending that Rachel will deliberately harm her child.

Given the above obvious contradictions in state policy, why have the SS in Nottingham City Council acted in this way?

Nanny's behaviour in this instance is pretty loathsome as far as I can see. My gut tells me that there is something else here that Nanny does not want disclosed, ie Nanny is covering something up that will damage Nanny (not Rachel).

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Nanny Bans Ice Cream Vans

As summer approaches we cast our mind back to the halcyon days of summers past, the sound of leather upon willow (that's cricket folks) and the merry jingle of the ice cream van.

Sadly, if Nanny's cums in her "respected" local councils have their way, the sound of ice cream vans may be but a distant faded memory.

For why?

Nanny has decreed that:

1 The sound of the jingles and general commotion of children queuing to buy ice cream is a nuisance, and

2 Ice cream makes people fat, therefore it should not be sold.

Harrow Council is leading the anti ice cream van vendetta, by refusing to issue new vending licences to ice cream sellers and encouraging police to enforce the embargo.

Kypros Kimonos, a purveyor of ices etc, was recently on the receiving end of Nanny's bully boy tactics. The police threatened to arrest him because he didn't have a licence.

Can he get a licence?

No!

Why?

Because the council won't issue any new ones!

Angela Mawle, of the UK Public Health Association, said:

"Ice cream is a fattening product, a luxury item. Councils need to start thinking about how they can promote healthy communities."

Why is this the council responsibility?

Who gave them the right to dictate our gut size?

Will all other fattening foods be banned, eg chips, lard, hotdogs, food in general?

All food, if eaten in sufficient quantities, is fattening!

Ice cream can be bought from shops, will councils ban that too?

These councils, and their patsies from the so called "health profession", are behaving like little Hitlers; it is time that they were dealt with in the same manner that we dealt with Herr Shickelgruber and his chums!

Needless to say, Harrow is a Conservative council.

You know the drill folks, tell Cameron that he will lose the next election unless he gets these idiots to realise that we are fed up with the state telling us how to live our lives.

Here's David Cameron's email to tell him what you think: camerond@parliament.uk

Ice Cream Van Man
by ScottishTornado

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Nanny's Little Helpers - Catch Them Young II

Way back in September 2008 I warned about certain local councils employing children (some as young as 8) to photograph and video people who infringe local council rules; eg dog fouling, littering and Nanny's most heinous of all crimes...

BIN CRIMES!!!!

Some councils were paying £500 a pop to encourage the kids to spy for them.

Catch them young and they will yours forever!

Well it seems that people have chosen to ignore my warning, and put a stop to this Nazification of our young, as the Mail reports that councils are still recruiting children to act as "environment volunteers" and report on litter louts, noisy neighbours and families putting their rubbish out on the wrong day.

It seems that there are now 9,000 people signed up to Nanny's spy scheme.

A spokesman for Islington town hall (one of the boroughs using children as spies) is quoted:

"It's not possible for the council to see what's going on in the borough at all times, so our Eyes for Islington are a great help, reporting issues such as dangerous footpaths, fly-tipping and graffiti."

I warn you again, to encourage children to spy on their fellow citizens is a very dangerous development; it mirrors the tactics of the Nazis and will result in the enslavement of the people by the state, by encouraging an atmosphere of fear and mistrust of our fellow citizens.

You were warned, and I have now warned you again!

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The Court of Public Opinion

Harriet Harman (mooted by some delusional idiots as being a possible "leader") exposed her ignorance and disdain for the rule of law the other day.

Harman played up to ZaNuLabour's hatred of Sir Fred "The Shred", and its desire to divert public attention away from Brown's failings wrt regulation, by stating the the "court of public opinion" outweighed the rule of law.

Aside from the very obvious stupidity and ignorance of Harman, wrt how the law works in a civilised democracy, her comments should send a chill down the spine of anyone who believes in democracy.

By stating that public opinion outweighs the law, she is encouraging a lynch mob mentality in order to satisfy her own short term political ends and in order to conduct a vendetta against a particlualr individual that ZaNuLabour have taken a dislike to.

Be warned, when the state whips up lynch mobs and questions the rule of law, dictatorship is sure to follow.

ZaNuLabour have shown themselves, thanks to Harman's ignorant outburst, in their true colours. The time has come to put them out of our misery once and for all.

I have given Harman some advice on one of my other sites, she should be aware that lynch mobs can turn on those who set them up!

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Prats of The Week - Ebay

A tis a Monday morning, the sky is blue and the seagulls are circling over my office window.

Time, methinks, to award my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to Ebay!

For why?

Well my old muckers, just ask Paul Ramsier who tried to sell the classic children's game "Escape From Colditz" on Ebay.

The good people of Ebay removed his product, and accused him of inciting racial hatred.

For why?

Ebay has a policy of banning items with Swastikas, the box has a Swastika on it.

OK, I guess that at a very long stretch of the imagination were this policy to be applied 100% then it could be argued that it was just tough luck for Mr Ramsier.

However, there are two flies in Ebay's oinkment:

1 It is clear that "Escape From Colditz" does not in any way encourage or promote racism or Nazi propaganda (not least because the objective of the game - invented by an ex Colditz prisoner - is to escape from the Nazis).

2 Here's the killer fact, Ebay contains lots of items with Swastikas. Type in eg "Swastika" into their search engine, and see what you come up with Ebay.

A spokeswoman for Ebay said:

"We will remove listings that bear the marks of organisations that promote hatred and racial intolerance and we are strict and unapologetic in adhering to this policy.

With 100 million listings globally we have to apply this rule to any item bearing such insignia, regardless of whether it is an innocent item like a board game."

Ebaywell deserving "Prats of The Week", and not very "efficient" Prats of the Week to boot!

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Food Fascists Ban Greasy Spoons

Nanny's food fascists have donned their jackboots, and are on the march again.

Nanny's environmental health officers in Guildford will inspect the menus of snack vans (parked in lay bys) during routine hygiene checks, they will be looking for fatty food.

Since when was it the role of the environmental health officer to inspect menus for fat content?

Seemingly Nanny wants the vans to limit the amount of mayonnaise served and offer "healthy" foods.

Those traders who do not comply with Nanny's diktat will have their licences revoked.

I was under the naive impression that in this country we had a modest degree of freedom that entitled us to eat what we wanted, when we wanted and where we wanted.

What the fark has it got to do with Nanny if we choose to have a dollop of mayo on our burger and fries?

Councillors at Guildford Borough Council disagree, and insist that every menu has to have at least one healthy option.

The list of recommended food includes low fat grilled sausage with wholemeal bread, chilli con carne with lean mince and jacket potato with a selection of fillings.

We live in a free market economy it is up to the consumer to dictate what is offered by service providers, not Nanny.

Needless to say, Guildford is in fact a Tory borough.

The Tory party just doesn't seem to be able to grasp the point that people don't want state interference in their lives, and seems to be intent on becoming a clone of Nu Labour.

Well folks, you know the procedure, drop Cameron a line and remind him that he will lose the next election at this rate.

Use this link: Cameron

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Nanny's Special Little Pledge - Catch Them Young

As we all know, unlike other countries Brits tend not to do "pledges"; regarding them as a tad suspect and reminiscent of tawdry dictatorships that we long ago bombed to oblivion.

Anyhoo, Nanny has decided to change all of that and "re-engineer" our thinking.

Her special little friends from Norwich and Norfolk Racial Equality Council had fun and games recently with a pledge that they tried to make children say during "Local Democracy Week".

"Local Democracy Week"!!!

Pass the sick bag someone!

Nanny's little "pledge incident" occurred during a workshop for children (aged between 6 and 11) organised by Norwich and Norfolk Racial Equality Council.

Many of the children were from Spooners Row Primary School, near Wymondham, Norfolk. Coincidentally residents from there are fighting plans by South Norfolk District Council to build a permanent travellers' site with eight pitches.

Can you guess what Nanny made the children do?

She tried to make them stand on chairs and recite a pledge to be nice to Gypsy and traveller children, welcome them into the community and not bully them. The children were encouraged to put their fingers in the air, or their hands on their hearts, to signify their acceptance.

Rather encouragingly, it seems that none of the children were fooled by this and did not stand up. Nanny went ahead and read out the pledge anyway.

A very low trick by Nanny in trying to brainwash the kids in this way.

Not very democratic was it?

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Nanny's Little Helpers - Catch Them Young

Ah die gut alt tags have returned with a vengeance.

Nanny has taken a little lesson from the history books, and is employing a rather nasty little technique once used by the Nazis.

Nanny's Gauliters in her local councils are employing children to act as spies.

Catch them young and they will yours forever!

The Telegraph reports that one in six councils contacted have signed up children to be "environment volunteers".

Sounds nice and cuddly and greeny doesn't it?

Errmmm...maybe not.

For you see dear readers Nanny's little helpers are being encouraged to photograph and video people who infringe local council rules; eg dog fouling, littering and Nanny's most heinous of all crimes...

BIN CRIMES!!!!

As an added bonus the kids are being paid £500 a pop by some councils.

Seems to me a clever kid and parent could come up with a nice little money making scheme, whereby the kid's reward exceeds the council's fine.

Nanny refers to these new recruits as "covert human intelligence sources", they will pass on the names and number plates of neighbours who are guilty of breaking Nanny's laws.

A recipe for all sorts of petty neighbourhood vendettas to be started and settled!

I wonder what kind of adults these kids will turn into?

Ealing Council said:

"There are hundreds of Junior Streetwatchers, aged 8-10 years old, who are trained to identify and report enviro-crime issues such as graffiti and fly-tipping."

Some kids are assigned code numbers, which they use instead of their real names when they ring a special informer's hotline.

Completely ghastly and very frightening!

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Fat Attack

Nanny has two great obsessions:

1 Obesity

2 Children (her acolytes are forever shrilly screeching "think of the children!")

Combine the two obsessions, and you have a deadly and poisonous cocktail.

Nanny and her chums in from our much "respected" local authorities (The Local Government Association - LGA) have let it be known that "dangerously overweight" children will have to be taken from their parents and put into care.

Errmm...isn't that kind of a Nazi type of action? The Nazis in occupied countries took children of "Germanic appearance" back to Germany for "Germanification".

Didn't we send people to their deaths to fight against this sort of thing over 60 years ago?

The LGA has predicted that social services teams would have to take drastic action to improve the health of seriously overweight children. In the view of the Gestapo from the LGA, very "fat" children are victims of "parental neglect".

In the view of the LGA, based on their "logic", social services would have to intervene "more and more" with obese children. The LGA also stated that councils would have to take action against parents who put their children's health at risk, and take the fattest into "care".

David Rogers, the LGA spokesman on public health, said:

"Councils are increasingly having to consider taking action where parents are putting children's health in real danger.

Councils would step in to deal with an undernourished or neglected child, so should a case with a morbidly obese child be different?

If parents place children at risk through bad diet and lack of exercise is it right for a council to keep the child's health under review?

It is vital that councils, primary care trusts and the NHS work with parents to ensure children don't end up dangerously overweight in the first place.

There needs to be a national debate about the extent to which it is acceptable for local authorities to take action in cases where the children's welfare is in jeopardy."

Precisely how will this help the children?

The psychological damage to the child, as he/she is forcefully removed from his/her parents, would massively outweigh any short term possible benefit of weight reduction.

The morbidly obese tend to use food as a "comfort", increase their stress levels by snatching them from their parents and they will simply eat more.

How can people who live in a democracy and claim to believe in a democracy, even contemplate such action?

This proposal stinks!

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Big Brother - The Secret Use of The DNA Database

My thanks to Dixon of Dock Green who alerted me to this article on the Liberal Democrat site.

I publish below unedited.

Now is this doesn't tell you that Nanny has been lying through her teeth to us, over her plans for the DNA database, what will?

We still have two more years of this bunch of fascists in office (whoever ends up being PM), it never ceases to amaze me how the Labour Party (which claims to be "for the people") always ends up acting like fascists.

Things are going to get worse!

Article from Lib Dems (who are in many cases almost as bad as Nu Labour)

The Home office has been allowing private companies access to the DNA database for commercial reasons, according to research by the Liberal Democrats.

The information, revealed in response to Freedom of Information requests, shows how:

• Up to May of this year, the Home Office approved 25 applications for research projects using DNA profiles from the DNA database



• 5 are from private companies - Three from LGC and two from Orchid Cellmark



• In some of the research projects, full details are not disclosed because of FOI s43. This allows companies to not give details because it would harm their commercial interests.



• No one whose DNA is being used in these projects has given their consent.



• Innocent people are on the database, and their DNA will have been included in the research.



• The police, many of whose officers have added themselves to the DNA database voluntarily, rejected a request for their DNA samples to be used in a research project.

Liberal Democrat MP, Jenny Willott said:

"For nearly a decade, the Home Office has been secretly approving controversial research projects using profiles from the DNA database.

No consent was ever sought from the people involved, many of whom have never been charged or convicted of any offence.

It is outrageous that people's DNA has on five occasions been passed to private companies to pursue their own commercial interests.

The 25 projects that have been approved by ministers include some sinister explorations into ethnic profiling.

It is appalling that these Big Brother practices have been allowed to go on unchecked for so long and with extremely limited ethical standards.

Unless the Government comes clean about exactly what they are using profiles for, this highly dubious ethical practice of dishing DNA out for research must be suspended immediately."


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Nanny's New Book Burners

Are you sitting comfortably children?

Then I'll begin:

"Once upon a time there was a very nasty

bunch of people living in Naziland,

who didn't much care for freedom of speech

or expression.

When they came across 'seditious'

material in a book, magazine or

newspaper they would burn it.

That way all these nasty 'seditious'

thoughts and ideas wouldn't pollute

the pure minds of the citizens of Naziland.

Fortunately the good people of Britain,

and what was left the free world, bombed

the bastards to death.

That, my dears, was the end of book

burning in Western Europe..."

Or was it?

You see there are other forms of "book burning" that don't necessarily require a physical conflagration, and are less obvious.

For example, if Nanny can censor a book before it is even published that removes the need for a public burning.

Nanny's chums in Orchard Books are converts to the 21st Century version of book burning. They were shocked and appalled at the ideas being developed in a book by Lindsey Gardiner, and therefore decided to tell her to remove certain parts from her book before they would publish it.

What were her crimes?

Poetry praising suicide bombers maybe?

No, you go to jail for that in Nanny's Britain (rather odd that Rupert Brooke was praised less than a century ago for his turgid tripe eulogising the glories of war), the book is a children's book.

The crime?

Ms Gardiner featured a fire-breathing dragon, which the book burners at Orchard Books felt to be a health and safety hazard.

What?

I hear you ejaculate (can I say ejaculate?)

I kid you not!

Seemingly, in Britain's new order, the scene showing her dragon toasting marshmallows with his breath was deemed likely to encourage children to do the same.

Errrmm...can anyone spot the rather obvious flaw in this dubious "logic" employed by Orchard?

Yes, that's right, there aren't any farking dragons!

However, those of you who are into dragons may enjoy this episode of "Ivor The Engine" which has escaped the book burners.



Ms Gardiner was also instructed to remove scenes relating to an electric cooker with one element glowing red (it had to be changed to green???), and of a boy on a ladder.

How the fark are children meant to learn about the world, if they are not allowed to read about it?

People have ladders and cookers, you cannot edit them out of real life.

Ms Gardiner noted that her manuscript for "Who Wants A Dragon?" was hardly any more dangerous than Hansel and Gretel, Red Riding Hood etc (all involving death by eating, child molestation scenarios and allegories for the onset of puberty).

Ms Gardiner said:

"It's a sad reflection of modern society."

She is quite right, Nanny and her book burners are destroying society in a way that the people of Naziland could only dream of.

She added:

"I've had books published in Japan,

France, Spain and Holland and

they don't ask for the same changes.

It seems to be in Britain and the U.S.

that there are problems."

We have become what we sought to protect the world from, intolerant book burners.

Orchard Books claim:

"With a wealth of fascinating fiction

and stimulating non-fiction,

we've got everything you'll ever need."

Why not drop them a note and let them know what you think?

Here is the link Orchard Books

The people of Orchard Books should remember this:

"Where first you burn books you next burn people."