Lawyers Cancel School Trip II

Those loyal readers with long memories, not addled by Nanny's banned substances of booze and fags etc, may recall that back in January I wrote about the rather sad story of a school trip to an outdoor activity centre in Craggan in the Cairngorms being cancelled because the mother of a disabled girl objected to it.

Yesterday one of the other parents (who by happenstance I knew at university), who has a child at the school, posted an update on the article:

"Hullo Ken

An update from a parent of a child at the school.

Highland Council have now created a trip to another outdoor centre but the mother of the disabled child has removed her child from the school in protest. The mother claims NO child should be allowed to enjoy ANY activity her severely disabled child cannot take part in. That is NOT the law and is unfair, in that it would restrict options for able bodied children.

The action of Highland Council in giving way is very odd. We have not had an explanation of why the council felt it had "no alternative" but to cancel the trip. I have requested details (under Freedom of Information rules) of which clause in the Disability Discrimination Act was not complied with or which section of the Council's "Trip Planning Guide" was not followed.

I suspect that the "guidance" was not fully followed so they felt nervous. I have suggested that such guidance "gold plates" the DDA and makes it easier to challenge a trip."

How on earth does removing the girl from the school "in protest" help this child in anyway shape or form?

I am at a total loss to understand the rationale behind this woman's actions.

It is a very sad story, and one that reflects quite how dysfunctional our society has become under the weight of legislation and climate of fear generated by the Nanny state.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Those Whom The Gods Wish To Destroy

Those whom the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad.

Regrettably, as a nation, it appears that Nanny has finally driven us insane.

It seems that an officer from the West Midlands counter terrorism unit has sent an email to community groups covering the fears that Nanny has wrt the brainwashing of children (as young as 4) by extreme Muslims:

"I do hope that you will tell me about persons, of whatever age, you think may have been radicalised or be vulnerable to radicalisation ... Evidence suggests that radicalisation can take place from the age of 4."

How the fark does one know if a 4 year old has been "radicalised"?

The unit has also sent counter-terrorist officers, specially trained in identifying children and young people vulnerable to radicalisation, to nursery schools.

I'm sorry, did I really just write that?

What the fark is going on in this country?

Have we truly gone collectively insane?

This policy will further alienate Muslims from the mainstream community, and will most certainly bring about fear and loathing in local communities with a large Muslim population.

The hapless officer who sent the mail, dug himself further into a hole by adding:

"I am a police officer and therefore it will always be part of my role to gather intelligence and I will report back any information or intelligence which may suggest someone is a terrorist, or is planning to be one or to support others.

However, my role is to raise the level of awareness of the threat of terrorism and radicalisation and support and work with partners to try to prevent it."

I wasn't aware it was the role of the police to act as spies?

I thought that spies were meant to act as spies?

What the hell has been going on at police training schools?

It seems to me that the "radicalisation police" ought to be looking into the training camps of our own police, to found out what BS is being pumped into their brains.

We have truly gone mad!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Well Said Dame Stella!

I doff my hat to Dame Stella Rimington, ex head of MI5, who has lambasted Nanny's lackeys in the government for turning this country into a police state and for using fear to kowtow the population.

Here is an article in the Telegraph about what she said:

Dame Stella accused ministers of interfering with people’s privacy and playing straight into the hands of terrorists.

“Since I have retired I feel more at liberty to be against certain decisions of the Government, especially the attempt to pass laws which interfere with people’s privacy,” Dame Stella said in an interview with a Spanish newspaper.

“It would be better that the Government recognised that there are risks, rather than frightening people in order to be able to pass laws which restrict civil liberties, precisely one of the objects of terrorism: that we live in fear and under a police state,” she said.

Dame Stella, 73, added: “The US has gone too far with Guantánamo and the tortures. MI5 does not do that. Furthermore it has achieved the opposite effect: there are more and more suicide terrorists finding a greater justification.” She said the British secret services were “no angels” but insisted they did not kill people.

Dame Stella became the first woman director general of MI5 in 1992 and was head of the security agency until 1996. Since stepping down she has been a fierce critic of some of the Government’s counter-terrorism and security measures, especially those affecting civil liberties.

In 2005, she said the Government’s plans for ID cards were “absolutely useless” and would not make the public any safer. Last year she criticised attempts to extend the period of detention without charge for terrorism suspects to 42 days as excessive, shortly before the plan was rejected by Parliament.

Her latest remarks were made as the Home Office prepares to publish plans for a significant expansion of state surveillance, with powers for the police and security services to monitor every email, as well as telephone and internet activity.

Despite considerable opposition to the plan, the document will say that the fast changing pace of communication technology means the security services will not be able to properly protect the public without the new powers.

Local councils have been criticised for using anti-terrorism laws to snoop on residents suspected of littering and dog fouling offences.

David Davis, the Tory MP and former shadow home secretary, said: “Like so many of those who have had involvement in the battle against terrorism, Stella Rimington cares deeply about our historic rights and rightly raises the alarm about a Government whose first interest appears to be to use the threat of terrorism to frighten people and undermine those rights rather than defend them.”

In a further blow to ministers, an international study by lawyers and judges accused countries such as Britain and America of “actively undermining” the law through the measures they have introduced to counter terrorism.

The report, by the International Commission of Jurists, said: “The failure of states to comply with their legal duties is creating a dangerous situation wherein terrorism, and the fear of terrorism, are undermining basic principles of international human rights law.”

The report claimed many measures introduced were illegal and counter-productive and that legal systems put in place after the Second World War were well equipped to handle current threats. Arthur Chaskelson, the chairman of the report panel, said: “In the course of this inquiry, we have been shocked by the damage done over the past seven years by excessive or abusive counter-terrorism measures in a wide range of countries around the world.

“Many governments, ignoring the lessons of history, have allowed themselves to be rushed into hasty responses to terrorism that have undermined cherished values and violated human rights.’’

A Home Office spokesman said: “The Government has been clear that where surveillance or data collection will impact on privacy they should only be used where it is necessary and proportionate. The key is to strike the right balance between privacy, protection and sharing of personal data.

“This provides law enforcement agencies with the tools to protect the public as well as ensuring government has the ability to provide effective public services while ensuring there are effective safeguards and a solid legal framework that protects civil liberties.”

In her interview, in La Vanguardia newspaper, Dame Stella also described the shock of her two daughters when they discovered she was a spy and told how she used most “gadgets” when she was in office except for “a gun’’.

Online Surveys & Market Research

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

No More Fairy Stories

When I was a wee lad I well remember reading traditional fairy stories, such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Cinderella and Rapunzel. I also remember seeing a few Disney versions in the cinema.

The stories did me no harm, and (in theory) provided an easily absorbed lesson about not taking sweets from strangers, not eating poisoned apples and avoiding wolves when dressed in a red skirt and hoodie.

Anyhoo, such is the state of Nanny Britain (scared witless by an ever burgeoning state and pandering moronic media) that these stories are being dropped by some families who are scared that children are being emotionally damaged by them.

Cue an ironic "LOL"!

Have these same witless parents ever bothered to check what their little darlings are seeing/doing on their mobile phones or the interent?

Stories about little girls being eaten by wolves, or fat children being eaten by old ladies, pale into insignificance wrt potential emotional damage when compared to what little Johnny or Jayne is watching/doing everyday in the wired world.

Anyhoo, according to a poll of 3,000 British parents conducted by The Baby Website, it seems that 33% of them have refused to read Little Red Riding Hood because she walks through woods alone and finds her grandmother eaten by a wolf.

One in 10 said Snow White should be re-named because "the dwarf reference is not PC".

Rapunzel was considered "too dark", and Cinderella has been dumped because she is treated like a slave and forced to do all the housework.

Are these people for real?

Sarah Pilkinton, a mother, told researchers:

"I loved the old fairy stories when I was growing up. I still read my children some of the classics like Sleeping Beauty and Goldilocks, but I must admit I've not read them The Gingerbread Man or Hansel and Gretel.

They are both a bit scary and I remember having difficulty sleeping after being read those ones when I was little."

Pah!

Here's a reality check...children like to be scared!

Why do you think Dr Who is so popular?

To repeat my question to these witless parents:

"Have you ever bothered to check what your precious little darlings are seeing/doing on their mobile phones or the interent?"

Learning how to cope with fear is an essential part of growing up, to deny a child the ability to learn that in a safe environment will stunt him/her emotionally and leave him/her unprepared for the adult world where things (let's be honest) are pretty shitty at times.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Bollocks - Home Orifice Leak

Nanny's special chum, Jacqui Smith (Home Orifice Home Economics teacher), has played the old politicians' trick of "leaking" a memo; the memo forewarns of strife and chaos, as the recession bites ever deeper.

In summary the Home Orifice believes that crime will rise, and the "disenfranchised" would be tempted to join terrorist organisations.

Why would the Home Orifice leak such a memo?

How can such a dire vision of the future be helpful to "Smiler" Brown and his "administration" (the word "administration" usually implies some form of competence, not in this government's case)?

The answer is simple:

FEAR!

Governments know that if the population is fearful of an enemy (be it another country, organisation or "the enemy within"), then the population will be more compliant and malleable.

Additionally, it will give Nanny the opportunity to impose more surveillance and more restrictive laws/rules upon the population.

As to the assertion that the recession will drive more people to terrorism, that is palpable bollocks.

This did not happen in the slump of the 1930's or the recessions of the 1970's, 80's and early 90's.

Why should it happen now?

Nanny is talking out of her backside!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats of The Week - The Home Orifice

Ah a cheerful, grey Friday morning; just the right time to award my prestigious, and world renowned, "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to the Home Orifice (so deserving, on so many occasions, I wonder if I should make this a lifetime "achievement award?).

Anyhoo, here is why I think they deserve this award.

The Home Orifice, in a naive and wasteful use of taxpayers' money have attempted to bring the "yoof" vote onto their side. They have set up a website (MyLifeMyId.org) for 16 to 25 year olds to express their views about identity cards.

I assume the "brains" in the Home Orifice thought that they would get a tidal wave of approval for the scheme; yet all they got in return is scorn, sneering and scepticism.

Eg:

"The NIS is an authoritarian imposition on this country and places the desires of the state above the rights of the people. It will entail threatening the public and extorting money from them until they comply.

The biggest effect it will have on my life is to completely redefine my relationship with the state. Now I'll have to tell them everything about myself and will be forced to keep it up to date and will be responsible for it's accuracy while having no power to control how it's used/stored/accessed.

The state has all of the rights and I have all of the responsibility.

Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind."

Good for the "yoof" of Britain!

Odd that the Home Orifice could make such a bad judgement call on "yoof" issues, given that our "respected" and "highly qualified" Home Secretary (Jacqui Smith) was a teacher (Home Econ was it?) herself.

Seemingly there was also a YouTube video featuring Jacqui Smith, which was meant to augment the website. However, it had its comments section disabled and now seems to have disappeared.

Fear not though, one individual resurrected it (and enabled comments):



Rest assured, because the responses have not been up to Jacqui's expectations, the government will ignore them and try to airbrush them from history.

The Home Orifice well deserving winners of the Lifetime Achievement Award for "Prats of The Week".

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

21st Century Witchburning

Nanny's obsession and with paedophiles and her hysterical campaign to heighten parents' feelings of fear for the safety of their children, aided and abetted by a weak and intellectually/morally bankrupt media, are having their desired results on people's behaviour.

Witness this story about a mini riot on a tram in the Croydon area, after a man was spotted allegedly taking a photo inside the tram on his mobile of two children.

The mini riot broke out at Waddon Marsh tram stop when Dimitri Petrov, in his early 20s, was called a paedophile after taking a photo. He was chased on to the track, and was was punched by Terrence Crawford, 18, who broke his jaw.

Crawford pleaded guilty to causing grievous bodily harm at Croydon Crown Court last Friday.

John Gardner, prosecuting, said that Mr Petrov was on a tram travelling from Croydon when it happened.

He said:

"There were a couple of children on board and some passengers seemed to think he had taken a picture of one of them on his mobile.

He later admitted he had taken a picture of a child.

The word 'paedophile' was bandied about."

A number of youths started to hit him as he was chased off the tram at Waddon Marsh.

Mr Gardener said:

"He found himself still being confronted and he took some form of sanctuary on the rails.

He stood in front of the tram and he started throwing stones at those pursuing him.

Crawford walked towards him and, in a haymaker movement, he punched Mr Petrov in the face.

Mr Petrov fell to the ground, and Crawford also fell over."

An off-duty police officer who had been on the tram was later able to identify Crawford and he was arrested in March this year.

Errmmm...couldn't he kind tried to intervene earlier to calm things down a bit???

Police had decided there should be no proceedings against Mr Petrov. Crawford will also have to pay £500 compensation to his victim.

Nanny, by whipping the general public up into a state of fear and anxiety, exercises her control over us by making people turn on each other. This is exactly the same way that the church and state used people's fear of witchcraft, in the 16th and 17th centuries, to control the masses.

Nothing changes!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Guilty Until Proven Innocent - The Dangers of Mothers

As we know, Nanny has managed to convince all and sundry that every child in Britain is under diabolical threat from predators, incompetents and psychos. The atmosphere of fear that this engenders enables Nanny to supply all manner of "safety" checks and "public" services. These generate her massive amounts of extra revenue, justify her existence and keep the unwashed population (that's you and me folks!) under control.

Here is a fine example of how Nanny has taken control of even the most normal of everyday activities, namely that of a mother taking her son to school.

Jayne Jones had been taking her 14 year old epileptic son Alex each day to school by taxi, she also took with her specialist equipment in case he had a fit.

All well and good until Nanny stuck her bony old nose into the matter. Mrs Jones has now been told that this activity must stop until her details had been run through a Criminal Record Bureau (CRB) check.

Mrs Jones, from Aberfan in south Wales, said:

"It's crazy that I have to be CRB checked before I can ride in a taxi with my own son.

I have to be checked to go in a taxi with him, but if I was able to drive him myself they wouldn't care and even offered to pay me expenses.

The taxi company is great and they carry Alex's medication but they won't use it and they wouldn't know how to put him in the recovery position if needs be."

Alex takes a combination of 32 anti-convulsant tablets a day, and is currently travelling to his special needs school in Merthyr Tydfil with no one trained to cope if he has an attack.

He has been fitted with the Vagus Nerve Stimulation (VNS) therapy system under the skin, which works like a pacemaker to help control electrical signals which can malfunction and cause him to seize.

His parents are the only ones trained to use and understand the therapy. Yet the council still wants the CRB check.

A spokesman from Merthyr Tydfil Council said:

"The CRB checking is a requirement of our transport provisions in relation to adults travelling on home-to-school transport in the capacity of an escort.

This is a standard requirement and has been for several years.

Any adult acting as an escort will, in the public gaze, be viewed as acting with the full acquiescence of the council and hence with its implied authority.

For the protection of the council and all vulnerable persons in its care it's essential all those endowed with an authority, implicit or explicit, should meet the security requirements within the transport contract provisions."

I read the above several times, and must confess I haven't a clue what he is talking about and how that really justifies a CRB check on the kid's mother.

The real reason behind the waffle, I suspect, is that the CRB check will generate revenue for Nanny.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats of The Week - Croydon's Response To Crime

I see that there are reports that those "in charge" of Croydon are advising "Community Enforcement Officers" not to bother wasting time on young criminals, but to target older people.

For why?

The adults will more likely be able to pay the fine!

So there we have it ladies and gentlemen, the purpose of the local law is not to keep people safe but to raise tax revenues for local councils.

Dermot Lineham, the enforcement officers co-ordinator, has sent an email that stated he was "emphatic" that his officers should not have to approach teenagers.

Officers should "focus our activities on adults who are less likely to attack us and more likely to pay fixed penalty notices...

..take care and take it easy."

Croydon Council spokesperson claimed the email had not been cleared by the council.

"This email was wrong in its instructions, had not been cleared and does not constitute council policy. The officer has since been spoken to and the NEOs have been instructed to ignore the email.

The NEOs' job is to support the police in tackling antisocial behaviour and low level criminality and in ensuring that the law is upheld. Council policy is that they will continue to carry out that role without fear or favour, regardless of the age of the perpetrators.

Neither the council nor police will tolerate antisocial behaviour of any kind and will take the necessary action to counter the misguided and destructive actions of a small minority of our population.

Clearly, we have a duty of care to all our employees and we would never ask any of them to take unnecessary risks that would place themselves in danger. But rest assured, the Neighbourhood Enforcement Officers will continue in their current roles to the full extent of their authority.

The incident, last Wednesday, where two police officers were attacked has only strengthened our resolve. The message to all young people is that if you are coming into the town centre, behave in a civilised fashion with respect for other people, or face the consequences."

Someone somewhere in Croydon is a right prat, and well deserves the "Prats of The Week award for this!

FYI, the Daily Mail asked me to comment on the story but then didn't bother using my comment..clearly I am not tabloid material!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Curfews R Us

It seems that, if reports are correct, Nanny is considering imposing a curfew on 16 year olds being on the streets after 9PM.

Police would take the children home or to a safe place, such as a community centre, where parents could collect them.

On the face of it I would guess that many people would raise a cheer to sweeping the streets clean of the feral yoofs that are rumoured to infest every corner of every town in the UK, striking fear into the hearts of anyone over the age of 20.

However, let us look beneath the surface here and see what Nanny really is proposing and really can do.

For starters the proposal is only going to be used in "hot spots"; ie where crime is considered to be above that which doesn't cause the police too much bother with local residents or the media.

Fine, except that this will simply disperse the "feral yoofs" elsewhere.

One might ask why is that a curfew in hotpsots is required, given that if the police wre really doing their job the criminal elements of these wild packs would have been dealt with and sat on by now.

Secondly, not every 16 year old on the street after 9PM is a criminal or indeed should be treated like one. For that matter not every person over 16 is entirely innocent, eg it has been rumoured that 17 and 18 year olds also commit crimes. What about them then?

Why 9PM, why not 8PM or 10 PM? What about the gangs that strut and loiter before curfew hour?

This is merely a gimmick to make it look as though Nanny is doing something.

I also read that the Sunday Times found that nine out of 10 parents wanted legal restrictions on their children going out after dark.

Here is where I instinctively reach for my sick bag.

Read the above bit again..."parents want legal restrictions on THEIR children going out after dark"!!!

What the fark is the matter with these people?

Their children are their responsibility, not the state's. Parents should not hide behing Nanny's bloomers to try to discipline their own children.

Are parents now so weak, stupid, lazy and fearful of their own offspring that they need the state to hold their hands when dealing with them?

It is hardly surprising some kids who are out of control, if parents are so weak and pathetic.

It is not the role of the state to clean the streets of kids, it is up to parents to maintain discipline and to ensure that they know where their kids are, and who they are with. I was never allowed to loiter and to hang around til the wee small hours, neither should these kids.

That being said, I am not so blind as to not see that there is a hard core element of useless, lazy, selfish parents who couldn't give a rat's arse where their kids are.

Given this, it is hardly surprising that there are wild packs of feral youths running wild in certain parts of Britain.

The solution to this is not a new wave of laws cufewing all kids, but using current laws (goodness knows we have enough of those) to target the criminal youths and their families.

Once you have found the hardcore of useless parents, you make them take responsibility by tagrtetting the things that they like; their housing benefits, and removing their favourite possessions eg pcs, TVs, DVD players, mobiles etc.

Having denuded the family of their toys, you impose a family curfew; forcing the entire brood to sit together night after night in their cave, and confront each others' failings head on (alone - no social workers - and undistracted by TVs etc).

Trust me, once you force them to sit with each other, nature will find the solution to their errant ways! One way or another.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Competition

In the real world we have to face up to the fact that there are others competing for the same things (material, social, jobs, power, ego related etc) that we are; it's called life.

Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.

We learnt to compete, and deal with failure, when we were young.

We were lucky!

In Nanny's world competition is bad, as that means there are losers. Therefore she has banned competition.

Children under the age of eight have been banned by the Football Association from playing in football leagues and cups, as there are fears that they are under too much pressure from competitive parents.

The new rules stipulate that matches can still be played, but that the results must be kept private and no league tables can be compiled.

Additionally children should not compete in knockout tournaments where there are trophies or medals.

This idea is complete bollocks!

How else will they learn how to deal with success and failure?

How do you play football non competitively?

Failure is character building.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Dangers of Brainstorming

Well done to Tunbridge Wells Borough Council for proving that their existence is futile. They have decreed that the term "brainstorming" is illegal, and replaced it with the catchy phrase "thought showers".

Officials Tunbridge Wells Borough Council fear that "brainstorm" might offend epileptics or the mentally ill.

What complete bollocks!

It is clear the the word used in context is nothing to do with derogatory remarks against those who are ill.

Margaret Thomas, of the National Society for Epilepsy, said:

"Brainstorming is a clear and descriptive phrase.

Alternatives such as "thought shower" or "blue-sky thinking" are ambiguous to say the least.

Any implication that the word "brainstorming" is offensive to epileptics takes political correctness too far."

A council spokesman said:

"We take diversity awareness very seriously. The majority of staff have taken part in training and been asked to use the term 'thought showers'."

Farking morons!

What a waste of space and money Tunbridge Wells Borough Council is! Get rid of it.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Dangers of Flowers

Pity the poor elderly residents of a care home in my borough of Croydon, who have been told by our "respected" local council to take down the plastic flowers in their care home.

Croydon council has placed posters in the elderly people's home asking them to remove the tubs of plastic flowers that residents had placed in the accommodation, along with some ornaments, to add a splash of colour.

Nanny says that they pose a fire hazard to Tonbridge House and have said that failure to take heed of the warning "may result in legal action", leading to eviction.

Bastards!

It is no small irony that in days of yore the false blooms have been a success with the authorities, being featured in the council's own magazine.

Some residents have had their fake shrubs for 40 years. Bernard Towner, 65, called the decision "ridiculous".

However, the council has stood by its decision saying that pots placed in the corridors could be an obstruction if the building needed to be evacuated.

Resident Bernard Towner, 65, said:

"The wording of the letter was so aggressive - we might have been a bit more understanding if someone had come to speak to us but this was the first warning we got.

It's ridiculous really - I was talking to one lady who said she has had her flowers there since she moved in 40 years ago."

A council tenancy officer ordered their removal after visiting Tonbridge House last week. Posters were put up demanding the corridors were cleared due to health and safety fears.

The worker said the residents were in breach of their tenancy agreements, and that their flower pots and trinkets were a fire hazard.

As said:

Bastards!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

42 Days - Dictatorship by Stealth

Tomorrow our "respected" and "popular" Prime Minister will lead Nanny's campaign to impose a 42 day detention period without charge, on people that the state "believe" to be terrorists.

We are told that this is for our own protection, and that the law will only be used against terrorists.

Well, Nanny would say that wouldn't she?

Question: If the state really has the evidence to support their belief that an individual is a terrorist, why does it not charge that person within say 7 days, 14 days or 28 days?

Answer: the state does not have the evidence.

Sir John Major wrote in the Times recently that the proposal would aid the terrorists, and help them recruit more people to their cause. Major went on to say that Nanny's case is bogus, and little more than scaremongering.

He was quoted in The Times:

"If we are seen to defend our own values in a manner that does violence to them, then we run the risk of losing those values. Even worse, if our own standards fall it will serve to recruit terrorists more effectively than their own propaganda could ever hope to do.

The Government has introduced measures to protect against terror. These go beyond anything contemplated when Britain faced far more regular – and no less violent – assaults from the IRA. The justification of these has sometimes come close to scaremongering."

Sir John said that Labour was creating "an intrusive State with authoritarian tendencies.

This is not a United Kingdom I recognise and Parliament should not accept it."

Sir John should read the stories on this site over the last four years, an intrusive authoritarian state is exactly what Labour is all about!

Sir Ken Macdonald, QC, who as Director of Public Prosecutions would have a key role in authorising extended periods of detention, said that the 42 day power was not needed.

Lord Falconer has promised to lead a revolt in the Lords if the bill passes the Commons.

Lord Goldsmith, QC, (Bliar's Attorney General) has told The Times that he will oppose the measures if they reach the Lords.

"I remain of the view that no extension is necessary or justified."

MI5 have kept well out of it.

Even the police believe that the proposals are unworkable.

That isn't stopping Brown from trying to bribe people, with our money, to go along with his monstrous plan. Innocent detainees would be entitled to claim up to £3K for each day spent in jail; so that's alright then!

The man driving this proposal is an authoritarian control freak, who fears individuality and freedom of action.

His reputation, health, credibility and party have been destroyed by his own actions and delusions. He and the Labour party are nothing more than an animated corpse.

Britain is being sleepwalked into dictatorship by a corpse, Britain does not deserve to be run by a corpse.

Let us put this corpse out of our misery once and for all!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Lost Generation

The most unpleasant aspect of the Nanny state, that afflicts us all, is the creeping sense of fear that now permeates our society; brought about by never ending Nanny campaigns about the dangers of food, fat, smoking, drink, crime, accidents etc and the compliant headline grabbing media that seek to reinforce Nanny's message.

It should therefore come as no surprise to learn that the fear which permeates adult society is being passed on to the next generation, as it is reported that scared parents have banned their children from cycling.

A staggering 81% of parents ban their children from cycling on their own, or allow them to do so only on their street.

Parents are fearful that their children will have an accident (accidents are part of growing up), they also claim that their children lack the confidence and skill to take to the road.

There are two very obvious reasons as to why their kids lack confidence:

1 They are not allowed to learn through error and mistakes, and are picking up their parents' fears.

2 They are not sent to classes designed to teach them how to cycle on the road.

These parents, by their actions, are breeding a nation of scared, overweight, lazy individuals.

Nanny has created a lost generation.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Replica Guns

In this age of fear and panic, whipped up by Nanny and a careless/slipshod media, it should come as no surprise to learn that there are elements of society who cower behind their curtains fearful of deranged gunmen and terrorists wandering the streets ready to slaughter thousands.

Common sense, and the concept of looking at the statistical probability of being shot/blown up have been thrown out of the window.

This point is amply demonstrated by the recent problems arising in Pickering, in Ryedale Yorkshire, over their regular war weekend where people dress in wartime uniform, complete with replica Second World War firearms.

Needless to say, one resident has got herself worked up by Nanny's scare stories and complained about the replica guns.

Margaret Devonshire wrote to both the town council and Ryedale's police commander, Inspector Helen Taylor, asking for the weapons to be banned.

She said:

"Why does the council allow people to roam the streets of Pickering during the war weekend, holding guns?

In this day and age when you can't tell the difference between a real and a replica gun, it should not be allowed and the council should ban them."

Miss Devonshire made the same complaint last year too, something of a hobby for her by the sound of it.

She went on:

"With all the shootings and killings in this country, we should be thinking of our own youngsters and trying to protect them. I am not a fanatic, but someone who totally dislikes guns and the danger they bring, and I object to them on the streets of Pickering for any reason.

I want Pickering to be a safe town to live in and not one where people can carry guns.

Can you imagine how easy it would be for a 'nutter' to wander around our streets with a gun and end up shooting someone because he was able to carry a real gun, everyone thinking it was a replica."

Former mayor Coun Margaret Lowe joined in:

"We take such a lot on trust. We have thousands of visitors come into Pickering for the weekend. Such an incident could happen."

Indeed it could, maybe, but then again it could happen if the maniac concealed his weapon too.

The banning of the prominent display of guns will not alter the risk of a nutter wandering down the street with a concealed weapon, and shooting the place up.

The ban only assuages the fears in the minds of a few paranoid people, by taking away the public display of an object that they dislike.

The risk factor of being slaughtered has not changed one iota!

The mayor, Coun Julie Hepworth, caught the paranoia too:

"We should probably stop and think about this.

We are seeing young people dying on our streets."

Yes we are seeing young people dying on the streets (not thousands though), but these young people are usually involved in gang violence and are invariably being killed by knives.

Guns or knives used in these gang killings are concealed, therefore again the risk factor will not change simply because you have banned the public display of replica weapons at a special event.

Why are other events around the country allowed to proceed?

Cutlasses are used during a seafaring festival in Whitby, and the Sealed Knot battle re-enactment group used muskets and pikes.

Using Miss Devonshire's "logic", all films that are shot in public places would have to ban replica guns and weapons too.

The police check the replicas for use at the war weekend first.

Sgt Gary Ridler, of Ryedale police, said:

"The issue of the de-activated weapons has been broached on numerous occasions and we are normally given due notice that the relevant people will be carrying them.

There are no offences being committed."

Therefore in order for someone to bring in a real gun, he would have to conceal it; which is exactly what he would do on a non war weekend.

Again, to repeat myself, the risk factor for being slaughtered by a nutter does not change by banning replica weapons at this one off event.

As ever in the Nanny state, one person with an axe to grind over "risk" seems to have a disproportionate amount of influence over the majority.

That is not a healthy state of affairs.

Knobheads of The Year - BAA

Today, in hour of the opening of Terminal 5 Thiefrow, I was going to award BAA my prestigious "Prats of The Week" Award, for their truly appalling scheme to fingerprint everyone (including domestic travellers) at Terminal 5 Thiefrow.

I now have to state publicly, and on the record, that this award would have been a grave mistake.

I formally and unreservedly apologise to BAA for almost besmirching their "fine" name, by thinking of giving them this award, and herewith and immediately withdraw the award.

What?!!!!!! I hear you ejaculate (can I say ejaculate here?).

Have you lost your cajones Ken?

Fear not loyal readers and anti Nannyers everywhere, I have not lost my cajones. BAA are in fact to be awarded my ultra prestigious "Knobheads of The Year" Award.

For why?

Well, it seems that their idiotic and badly thought through scheme to fingerprint everyone at Thiefrow Terminal 5, which is being investigated by the Information Commissioner's Orifice (ICO) as it is illegal, has been put on hold.

A spokesman for BAA slimed:

"Following a meeting with all relevant parties, including the Information Commissioner and the Border and Immigration Agency, the introduction of fingerprinting for domestic passengers and international passengers transferring on to domestic flights at Heathrow will be temporarily delayed."

BAA said that it will hold further talks with both the Information Commissioner and the Border and Immigration Agency before deciding its next move.

For the time being instead of leaving a fingerprint before passing through security, passengers will be photographed.

BE WARNED

This measure is only "on hold", BAA have spent a lot of money on installing the fingerprint scanners and are as keen as mustard to use them; they will try every trick in the book to implement this.

Here's why thier scheme is a load of old bollocks:

• BAA are shite, and regularly manage to screw up simple tasks such as baggage handling. The effective, efficient and secure control of personal data such as prints is way beyond their capabilities



• BAA are on the point of bankruptcy, what happens to this system when they collapse?



• The security services will of course take these details, no matter what BAA say



• This will add to the delays and frustrations of the hapless passengers who have to endure Heathrow's primitive facilities (note Terminal 5's design was buggered about and ruined, because BAA couldn't afford to build the original design)



• There is no need to fingerprint domestic passengers, this could be done purely for international and transit passengers at their point of arrival (even if there really is a security need for prints...which I doubt)



• The UK is the only country in the world that is going to fingerprint domestic passengers. Why?



• They will photograph everyone anyway, the prints are not needed

Anyhoo, in celebration of today's grand opening of Terminal 5 Thiefrow I am proud, nay honoured, to award BAA "Knobheads of The Year"

Feel free to tell them that they have won, via this email address: corporateresponsibility@baa.com

They had better hurry to pick up the award, given their appalling gearing levels BAA are not going to be around for much longer!

BAA well deserving "Knobheads of The Year"!

Prats of The Week - Sunbed Wars

It is a wet and windy Monday morning here in Engerlund, and as such it is time for my prestigious "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week my heartfelt congratulations to the passengers of P&O's 77,000-ton Oceana liner who reported Christopher Wells, the skipper, to the Equality and Human Rights Commission.

For why?

There has been something of an ongoing spat on board over the use and reservation of sunloungers. A habit that is normally associated with Germans holidaymakers had spread to the passengers of the Oceana (none of whom were German), whereby towels and knickknacks are placed on the sun loungers in order to reserve them for use several hours later.

It is of course a thoroughly selfish habit, as more often than not the lounger remains unoccupied for several hours.

Passengers became increasingly narked over the lack of available sunbeds on the Oceana during their 15 day cruise of the Caribbean last month; all manner of objects used to reserve the sunloungers - towels, books, bags and clothes etc.

It became so bad that Capt Wells imposed a 20-minute limit on sunbeds being left unoccupied, and made several announcements to try to end the so-called "sunbed wars".

Needless to say, the passengers ignored him. There were increasingly heated rows between the passengers over the reservation of the sunloungers.

Eventually Capt Wells (who is married to a German) told the ship's 2,000 passengers:

"We don't want that kind of Germanic behaviour here!"

Clearly the point hit home, ie it was a well judged observation, and some reported him to the watchdog.

The Equality and Human Rights Commission has launched an inquiry, and Capt Wells has been forced to apologise for causing offence.

I was brought up by my parents to deal with petty matters myself, and not to report ("tell") on people to others. Nanny teaches people to report to the state, and related bodies; by this means she keeps us under control, as we fear that our neighbours, colleagues and friends may in fact be spying for her.

The passengers who reported him are well deserving of this week's "Prats of The Week" Award.

My advice to them is to grow up and deal with the matter yourselves, don't bring others into your petty and selfish arguments.

Prats of The Week - Aceeed!!

Dear me it has been while since I have awarded my prestigious, and world famous, "Prats of The Week" award.

This week, without any doubt whatsoever, the judges were unanimous in their decision to award it to Cann Hall Primary School in Clacton, Essex.

It seems that Nanny's unhealthy obsession with paedophilia has reached new heights of hysteria there, as the school have published photos of their pupils (perfectly innocent and non offensive) with the children's faces hidden by a smiley from the acid house days of the 80's.

For why?

Well, seemingly, the school believes that by showing the actual faces the kids will be exposed to all sorts of paedophile shit.

All very well, if Britain has become a nation of paedophiles and if the kids names and addresses etc were also published.

However, as far as I can tell none of that is the case.

However, in Nanny's world, fear is the key to keeping good order.

Headmistress Clare Reece said:

"The public nature of the internet is an issue we feel strongly about.

Not all parents want their children's picture on there.

You can't say what is going to happen with any of those pictures.

In order to protect our children, we have made the decision not to include any photos of our pupils on this website."



Surely the safety of the kids is the key issue, not the safety of the pictures??

Rather bizarrely, she went on to say that the photographs were printed unaltered in the school newsletter which was sent to parents.

How can the school guarantee that the recipients of the newsletter won't do anything weird with the pictures?

This whole idea is of course bollocks:

1 The children's personal safety is not impaired one way or another by having their face shown, so long as there are no personal details, eg address, disclosed

2 This sends a message to kids that all adults are predators, and should be feared. How healthy a message is that to give them?

3 It also, I have to say, looks very odd indeed and bit weird/sick to do this.

4 Why bother putting photos up at all?

5 School photos have been taken for decades, to show pride and achievement. Millions of us have survived having had our photo taken at school (and displayed), without being dragged off the street by some stalker. The worst that would happen would be the ridicule of one's contemporaries.

I am not alone in thinking this is all bollocks.

Shaun Kelly, spokesman for Children's charity NCH, said:

"The images shocked me, actually. What message is it giving?

It looks very, very odd. If you want to obscure children's faces you can obscure them with pixels.

We need to be cautious about taking images of children out of the media."

Frank Furedi, a sociology professor at the University of Kent, was even more cutting:

"Every time a school takes silly measures, it says we see the world through the eyes of a paedophile.

They think that any innocent picture of school children will somehow be subverted and manipulated.

These pictures serve a very important purpose of giving children clear images of their experiences, something they can remember later in life.

Depriving ourselves of these experiences is not only irrational but serves no purpose whatsoever."

Rather bizarrely, the school has now taken down the pictures; a message on the website did say:

"Our newsletter section is undergoing maintenance. Back soon!"

However, that has now disappeared too.

I smell a cock up of the first magnitude!

Nanny has a sick mind, and she is trying to infect us with her fears and phobias.

Cann Hall Primary School (or rather those in charge of Cann Hall Primary School) well deserving Prats of The Week.

The Dangers of Lamposts

Have you ever been wandering down the street, texting away merrily on your "Raspberry", when suddenly you find yourself walking into a lamppost?

Have no fear, you need injure yourselves no more.

Nanny has come up with the perfect solution to the menace of lampposts.

She is going to wrap them in padding.

Yes, that's right, she will pad them for your safety and comfort!

It has finally come to this, Nanny really does wnat to wrap us up in cotton wool!

A pilot scheme has been launched in Brick Lane (London), after it was found to have the highest number of "walking and texting" injuries in the country.

Seemingly 10% of people have hurt themselves while focused on their mobile phone screen, that at least is the finding of a survey conducted by 118 118 (the phone directory service). Quite how reliable this "statistic" is I have no idea.

The charity Living Streets has teamed up with 118 118, to test a scheme to pad lampposts.

A poll will be carried out on Brick Lane to gauge the response of locals.

If successful, the concept will be rolled out in Birmingham, Manchester, and Liverpool.

This sounds like complete bollocks, and I can only assume is a rather a lame PR stunt by 118 118.

The cheaper solution to these "walk and text" injuries is simple:

LOOK WHERE YOU ARE GOING!