Only in Sweden

I don't normally write about Nannyism abroad, as we have more than enough of it here.

However, the story about birthday party invites to a child's birthday party in Sweden (my old domicile 1996-2000) made me spit out my imaginary cup of coffee all over my imaginary trousers (I write very freely when I sit at this keyboard;)).

An eight-year-old boy in Lund handed out invites at school to his friends for his birthday party. However, he chose not to invite two of his classmates.

Fair enough!

Not in Sweden!

The boy's school says that he has violated the children's rights, they confiscated the party invites and complained to the Swedish Parliament. The school argues that if invitations are handed out on school premises then it must ensure there is no discrimination.

The boy's father, quite rightly, has lodged a complaint with the parliamentary ombudsman. He says the two children were left out, because one did not invite his son to his own party and he had fallen out with the other one.

A verdict on the matter is likely to be reached in September.

How long I wonder before the brain dead morons running this country try the same thing here?

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The Dangers of Brainstorming - Contact

Hi folks,

A number of you have said that you want to give Tunbridge Wells Borough Council a piece of your mind, re their ban on "Brainstorming".

Be my guest Tunbridge Wells Borough Council

Ken

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The Dangers of Brainstorming

Well done to Tunbridge Wells Borough Council for proving that their existence is futile. They have decreed that the term "brainstorming" is illegal, and replaced it with the catchy phrase "thought showers".

Officials Tunbridge Wells Borough Council fear that "brainstorm" might offend epileptics or the mentally ill.

What complete bollocks!

It is clear the the word used in context is nothing to do with derogatory remarks against those who are ill.

Margaret Thomas, of the National Society for Epilepsy, said:

"Brainstorming is a clear and descriptive phrase.

Alternatives such as "thought shower" or "blue-sky thinking" are ambiguous to say the least.

Any implication that the word "brainstorming" is offensive to epileptics takes political correctness too far."

A council spokesman said:

"We take diversity awareness very seriously. The majority of staff have taken part in training and been asked to use the term 'thought showers'."

Farking morons!

What a waste of space and money Tunbridge Wells Borough Council is! Get rid of it.

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The Dangers of Flowers

Pity the poor elderly residents of a care home in my borough of Croydon, who have been told by our "respected" local council to take down the plastic flowers in their care home.

Croydon council has placed posters in the elderly people's home asking them to remove the tubs of plastic flowers that residents had placed in the accommodation, along with some ornaments, to add a splash of colour.

Nanny says that they pose a fire hazard to Tonbridge House and have said that failure to take heed of the warning "may result in legal action", leading to eviction.

Bastards!

It is no small irony that in days of yore the false blooms have been a success with the authorities, being featured in the council's own magazine.

Some residents have had their fake shrubs for 40 years. Bernard Towner, 65, called the decision "ridiculous".

However, the council has stood by its decision saying that pots placed in the corridors could be an obstruction if the building needed to be evacuated.

Resident Bernard Towner, 65, said:

"The wording of the letter was so aggressive - we might have been a bit more understanding if someone had come to speak to us but this was the first warning we got.

It's ridiculous really - I was talking to one lady who said she has had her flowers there since she moved in 40 years ago."

A council tenancy officer ordered their removal after visiting Tonbridge House last week. Posters were put up demanding the corridors were cleared due to health and safety fears.

The worker said the residents were in breach of their tenancy agreements, and that their flower pots and trinkets were a fire hazard.

As said:

Bastards!

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The Dangers of Buses

Did you know that in Nanny Britain, criminals are not just people who commit a criminal act or who even are planning to commit a criminal act, but are also people who look like they might be about to commit a criminal act?

What constitutes looking as though you are about to commit a criminal act?

Leaving a large ticking box in a public place that says "Bomb" on it?

No!

Wearing stocking over your head as you enter a bank?

No!

Photographing buses!

Yes, you did read that correctly!

Rob McCaffrey has found to his cost that his innocent hobby of bus spotting, and photographing buses, is now banned in Nanny's Britain.

Mr McCaffrey (an omniboligist) has been taking pictures of buses all over the world for forty years, but only ever faces problems in Britain. He has a collection of 30,000 photos of buses, trams and coaches.

However, such is the level of paranoia in Britain today (caused by Nanny and egged on by a compliant and ignorant media) that Mr McCaffrey is giving up his hobby because he keeps being mistaken for a terrorist and paedophile

Over the last year he has been questioned twice by the police, and had to give all his personal details after people who saw him innocently snapping buses on public roads reported him.

In Pontypridd, South Wales, last September a bus driver got rather worked up about being photographed and called the police. the police then demanded to see what Mr McCaffrey had on his camera.

In Monmouth a Police Community Support Officer ran Mr McCaffrey's name and address through police computers.

I would remind you all that it is not illegal to take photos in a public place. However, under Section 44 of the Terrorism Act 2000, police officers may randomly stop someone without reasonable suspicion, if the area is a likely target for an attack.

Mr McCaffrey said:

"I can deal with the fact someone might think I'm a terrorist, but when they start saying you're a paedophile it really hurts."

The state and a compliant ignorant media are responsible for the level of paranoia in this country. We are building our own prison and hell on earth with our own hands, brick by brick, petty restriction by petty restriction.

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Balls By Name, Balls By Nature

Nanny's special little pet, Ed Balls (Schools Secretary), is living up to his name by recently spouting complete shite.

In his view, and this is the most amazing piece of Big Brother "double speak" that I have read in a long while, grammar schools damage educational standards.

Just think about that for minute.

Balls is saying that by trying to turn out well educated pupils, grammar schools are damaging educational standards.

What kind of standards is Nanny setting herself?

Nanny and Balls have a priority to "improve" the quality of educashun in their state run schools. Fair enough, and quite correct.

Now you and I would do this by improving the quality of educashun, teaching and stretching the pupils.

Not so under the Balls "vision". His method is simple, ensure that the most gifted children are not syphoned off by grammar schools, that way the average performance of the state school will rise by default; even if it means that those who are bright will be held back by the slowest in the class.

A great way to run an education system, and a very regressive step back to the old Labour policy of class war and envy.

Balls went on to say that the system left secondary modern pupils feeling as if they were failures. Wee all fail at some stage in life, those who survive are those who pick themselves up and try again. Nanny would have us collapse in crumpled heap on the floor in self pity and self loathing, never to try again.

Balls stated in black and white:

"Let me make it clear that I don't like selection. We don't support new grammar schools.

Overall, secondary moderns are around twice as likely to be below the 30 per cent benchmark than the average school. I've heard first-hand how some of the young people starting in these schools feel on day one that they have already failed."

This is the politics of division and envy, something that Labour should have abandoned decades ago.

Balls would do well to remember that those who are often most disruptive in class, are those who are not being stretched or challenged by the system. Grammar schools offer an opportunity for stretching bright pupils, Nanny should not try to deny them that opportunity.

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The Dangers of Tides

Britain is an island, surrounded by the sea, you would have thought that we would be used to the idea of tides.

Well you and I may be familiar with the idea of tides, but Nanny isn't.

South Hams Council have erected (can I have an erection at this time of day?) a sign at Castle Cove Beach Devon, which warns the public about the tide coming in.

The road-sign style warning notice reads "Beware of incoming tide".

Errrmmm...it's the seaside, people farking well know that the tide comes in.

Locals think that it's a load of bollocks, over-the-top and looks ugly in the local beauty spot.

South Hams Council said that its erection was necessary as its insurers (hah!) had told it to do so, and that public safety was "paramount".

Pass the sick bag someone!

Would the council put their hands in a fire if the insurers had told them to do so?

Weak saps!

Councillor Bill Hitchins said:

"The council has a duty of care for public safety ...that obligation remains paramount.

On the advice of the council's insurers, temporary warning signs which comply with safety sign regulations have been put up ...to alert people to the danger of being cut off by an incoming tide."

However, the council have rather hoisted themselves on their own petard as it transpires that they will now move the sign from the bathing platform to a site on the access path down to the cove; ie the sign is in the wrong place.

How much will that cost the local taxpayers?



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The Dangers of Dogs

Cave Canem!

Nanny, it seems, is no dog lover.

No real surprises there then!

Nanny's health and safety gestapo, using the EU as their excuse, have decreed that dogs and farmhouse bed and breakfasts do not mix. Therefore Nanny wants to ban dogs from their owners' kitchens.

Nanny would have us believe that the animal poses a potential health and safety hazard to guests' food. I am a pussy man myself, but if I were at a farmhouse B&B I would expect there to be animals in the general area (it would be a funny kind of farm without animals!) and would not be horrified to see a dog in the kitchen.

It seems to me that if you want a 5 star luxury hotel, sanitised and sparkling, then you book yourself into a 5 star hotel not a farmhouse B&B.

Nanny's health inspectors are having none of it, and are using new EU food hygiene laws which put small B&Bs into the same category as hotels and restaurants, to have pets banned from kitchens.

Nanny's first blood occurred in Dorset, where the owner had to give assurances to his local authority that his dog would not be in the kitchen at breakfast time.

David Weston, chairman of the British Bed and Breakfast Association, is none too impressed with this nonsense and notes that he has never come across any previous case of food poisoning by dog hair before.

Quote:

"This new law covers food businesses and because a bed and breakfast serves food, they fall into that category.

The regulations weren't designed to cover people's homes, which is essentially what a bed and breakfast is.

Most of our members practise good standards of cleanliness anyway. We think the regulations should be enforced in a commonsense way.

When there is a dog in the corner of the room and nowhere near the food surface area, then we don't feel that is a threat or a danger to health."

Unfortunately, Nanny does not do "common sense".

Will John, the principal environmental health officer at West Dorset District Council, said that farmhouse kitchens are a 'high risk' food preparation area.

"Most people would agree it is not hygienic to have animals in kitchens where food is being prepared.

A bed and breakfast may be somebody's home, but once a room is used to prepare high-risk food that is going to be sold to members of the public, it takes on a different meaning."

Good grief!

He clearly doesn't live on this planet.

How many thousands of people have died each year from dog hairs in their B&B bacon and eggs?

How many people who own a pet, manage to prevent them from entering the kitchen?

This is complete bollocks!

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Nanny and The Law

Did you know?

And not a lot of people do.....

That on average, each day in Britain, Nanny passes eight new laws.

Sweet & Maxwell (the legal publishers) reported that Nanny introduced 14% more new laws during 2007 than in 2006, a total of 3,071 compared with 2,702 the year before.

That is eight new laws every day, compared with seven in 2006.

Many of the new laws introduced in 2007 were brought in as statutory instruments, which often receive less scrutiny than statutes.

Yet do these laws help or hinder us?

Of course they don't help us!

Labour, with its obsession for control and bureaucracy (not to mention its unhealthy connection and close links to the legal establishment), believes that all matters of our lives should be regulated by laws. When something is deemed to be not "quite right", Labour snaps its fingers and legislates.

Nanny forgets that there is most likely a perfectly good law, already on the statute books, for dealing with the perceived problem. However, that law is most likely not being properly applied.

Lazy and obsessive law making leads to dictatorship.

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The Dangers of Chip Pans

I am sure that readers of a certain age (I include myself in that category) well remember either the live demonstrations or information films made by the firebrigade about the dangers of chip pan fires, and how to put them out safely.

Given that Britain is still a nation of chip eaters, we built our empire on chips, you would have thought that such a safety campaign would be as relevant today as it was some 30 years or so ago.

True enough, except for one small problem; Nanny believes that the demonstration itself is in fact dangerous.

Devon and Somerset Fire and Rescue Service recently banned firemen from demonstrating how to put out chip pan fires to school children, due to our old "friend" health and safety.

I would have thought that a chip pan fire was in fact a major health and safety hazard, but what the fark do I know?

For decades fire crews have visited schools to deliver safety talks, and give practical demonstrations of the best way to extinguish fires.

However, Devon and Somerset Fire and Rescue Service has now withdrawn the chip ban demonstration for schoolchildren in case it encourages children to tackle one at home.

Errmmm...isn't that the idea?

Surely the kids should be taught how to protect themselves?

Isn't that kind of a useful tool for life?

Seemingly not, instead the pupils will be handed leaflets and given instructions telling them what they should do in the event of a hot oil blaze occurring at home.

Firemen and parents needless to say think that the idea is bonkers, and say children need to be shown how to deal with an emergency.

During a traditional chip ban fire demonstration, a mock kitchen is used to show how fiercely the fires develop and "flashover" — where all combustible material in a space suddenly ignites — occurs.

Unless the kids are shown what can happen, and what to do (use a damp cloth, do not use water), they will instinctively pour water on it and cause an explosion.

I repeat, how on earth is denying the kids this very useful lesson protecting them?





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The Doormat Inspectors

This story has rather struck a chord with me, as a very similar thing happened in our apartment block.

Stanley Samuels, a resident of Brookshill Gate in Harrow, recently received a letter from his management company telling him to get rid of his doormat because it was a trip hazard.

In fact all the residents of Brookshill Gate received written notification from HML Hawksworth saying that they are no longer allowed to have front doormats, as they are seen to be a trip hazard.

Mr Samuels said:

"They hand delivered letters to all of us, they said that if we have got a mat they will throw it away.

I thought it was ridiculous but rather than my mat being thrown away, I've brought mine inside.

When visitors come to stay, I just want to them to be able to wipe their feet and not make my carpet dirty.

The whole world has gone mad if you think about it, all the things we used to be able to do we are not allowed to anymore.

I've lived here for three years and no one has tripped over a mat, or broken their leg or anything.

The law with the mats is part of health and safety rules which applies to flats like these, but it appears the law is wrong.

How many people have fallen over their mats in a mad rush to get out?"

The 18-flat complex is home to residents of all ages.

The letter said:

"Following a recent health and safety site inspection it has been bought to our attention that you have a doormat in the communal parts of the building.

Please can you remove the doormat as this is a breach of health and safety regulations.

Please be advised that if the doormat is not removed we will have no choice but to remove the doormat in due course."

As you can see, Nanny was even threatening to steal the mat if her orders are not obeyed. She can't do that!

The reason that this strikes a chord with me is that exactly the same thing happened in our apartment block last year. Nanny's rules require that there is a health and safety inspection by "experts" (third parties who have set themselves up to make easy money from Nanny's rules).

Our "expert" produced a weighty report that contained many photos of "dangerous" mats, a firedoor propped open (to allow painting to be done that day) etc. We were told to have our mats removed.

Here's where it gets good...I am on the board (now chairman) of our management company...ahah!.

The "expert" was duly told to fark off, and that any attempt to remove my mat would be met with lethal force!

We have of course ignored the doormat inspector's report.

Interestingly, a few months after his visit, it was discovered that in one block the fire alarm system could not be heard on the upper floor, the emergency lighting didn't work and that outer wall studding was loose thus presenting a genuine risk of things falling off the building.

Our doormat inspector (who allegedly was here to provide us with a health and safety report) found none of those genuine risks.

The truth is that many of the so called "experts" who claim to offer health and safety advice/reports are nothing more than amateur scam merchants, feeding off Nanny's ill thought out health and safety legislation.

There are genuine experts who do provide a very necessary and useful service, unfortunately thanks to the actions of the scam merchants the public now regard all such members of that profession with contempt and ridicule.

Nanny is making a complete fool of herself, and deserves to be held in the highest possible contempt.

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The Dangers of Sauce - Ooh Err Missus!

Oh dear our friends at Tesco have been up to their old tricks again. They seem to have a real bee in their bonnet about booze, and have adopted all of Nanny's worst habits and practices.

Claire Birchell (aged 25, ie over the age of 18) was making a bold attempt to buy a product from her Tesco store in Flitwick recently. However, she met with resistance from the Tesco "show me your papers" brigade who flatly refused to sell her the product without proof that she was over 18.

What was this dangerous product?

Fags?

No!

Porn?

No!

Booze?

Not quite...

Ms Birchell was attempting to buy a bottle of barbecue sauce, the sauce was called Jack Daniel's sauce and contained a highly dangerous 2% of booze.

Needless to say the cashiers at Tesco couldn't allow an adult to buy such a dangerous product, unless they could prove that they were over 18. Heaven forfend that Ms Birchell (if she had been a minor) had the urge to rush home and down the bottle in one go!

The staff then pushed more salt into the open wound of their stupidity by refusing to sell it to Ms Birchell's brother-in-law, Philip Dover (a mere 27 years old) who was with her at the time and did have ID.

Why did they refuse to sell it to him?

Obvious isn't it?

They said he would just give it to her.

Are these people farking stupid, taking the piss or is this some cunning marketing plan that Tesco are trying out?

Read more Tesco stupidity here.

Companies and organisations that wholeheartedly support the creation of a Nanny state, and who use Nanny's tools, should be boycotted.

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Nanny Bans T Shirts - Freedom of Speech Is Dead

Nanny would have us believe that we live in a free country, where freedom of speech is guaranteed.

True enough, so long as you don't say anything that offends Nanny or her minions; as pensioners Mike Lacey, John Wilding and his wife Tessa found out the other day.

They were attempting to join a demonstration at Heathrow airport against the proposed new runway when they were questioned and escorted from Heathrow, after police decided the Stop Airport Expansion slogan on their T-shirts was "inflammatory".

What was this "inflammatory" phrase?

"Stop Airport Expansion"

Mike Lacey, John Wilding and his wife Tessa were stopped as they tried to join a demonstration against plans for a third runway.

Five Met police officers took their names, addresses and descriptions and followed them out of a bus terminal, warning they would be arrested if they returned within 24 hours.

In a "stop and search form" officers wrote that Mr Lacey was questioned because he had been "seen in the bus terminal wearing inflammatory clothes".

A sorry state of affairs indeed when a simple T shirt upsets the state, freedom of speech is dead!

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The Dangers of Crabs - Ooh Er Missus!

I am not entirely sure as to whether this is an example of Nannyism, or just well intentioned kind hearted people giving Nanny an opportunity to make mischief.

I refer to the plan by some zoology students from Cambridge to try to impose a code of conduct on the summer sport of crabbing, in an attempt to end cruelty to the creatures.

They plan to leaflet ten thousand holidaymakers at the Norfolk resort of Wells-next-the-Sea (did you know it is the crabbing capital of Britain?), advising them on how to crab responsibly. Their principal rule is that no more than ten crabs should be placed in a single bucket.

Seemingly excess crowds of crabs can cause fights, which can lead to the loss of limbs.

Crabs in Wells have traditionally enjoyed a relationship with the children who come to bait, capture and imprison them for a few hours in a plastic bucket. The fishing lines of the children are baited with bacon or whelk.

Local fishermen estimate that the average Wells crab is caught and released several times a day.

I see that the students have a kind heart, and it will be good for the kids to learn a bit about marine life in this way; but I can't help feeling that Nanny will somehow or other try to get involved now.


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Prats of The Week - Bin Brother Again!

Ooh...I feel a Prats of The Week Award coming upon me!

This week it goes to the binmen of Blackpool and Darwen Council.

Binmen and councils again!

Yes folks, it seems that the binmen and council of Darwen have a wee problem with teabags. They have refused to empty Donald MacKenzie's (a disabled pensioner) bin, because it was 'contaminated' by a stray teabag.

Mr MacKenzie found his wheelie-bin unemptied with a note saying 'food waste - t-bag'.

I am very impressed that the binmen have the time and energy to look through someone's bin with such thoroughness.

Mr MacKenzie complained to Darwen Council, but was told he should not have left out food.

The council's Peter Hunt (rhymes with....) said:

"Food waste can cause contamination that results in whole truckloads of recyclables having to go to landfill, so we do have to be careful."

Why do we pay council tax?

Why do we have local councils?

The binmen and council of Darwen, well deserving Prats of The Week.

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Bin Brother - The Food Inspectors

Congratulations to Tory run Mid-Sussex District Council for proving that it is not just usless Labour councils that seek to interfere in our lives and spy on us.

Resdients within the remit of this council are having their rubbish secretly sifted and weighed, to see how much food they are throwing away.

-Why is this the council's business?

-What gives them the right to spy on people in this manner?

-Were the residents ever asked to give their permisson for this?

It seems that wheelie-bins are being taken from residents without their knowledge, and spot checked to see how many scraps of food are in them and how much they weigh.

The counbcil have told the residents that it is a "fact-finding" exercise to gauge how much food is being dumped.

-Why does the council need to know this?

-What will the council do with this information?

The cost to the residents of this spying is £1700.

I guaranatee that once this "fact finding" exercise has been completed, the local residents will find a whole new raft of charges and taxes being imposed on them by their council.

Why should a council be so interested in finding new ways to tax its citizens?

They are broke, they cannot afford to pay the generous slaalries that their executioves receive and cannot afford to fund the defined benefit pension shcmes that all public sector workers and council employees receive.

Councils are of course gutless, and will not cut back on these perks as they enhance their power. It is fare asier to milk the residents dry, as the residents and voters will be sent to jail if they don't pay up.

That's known as "local democracy"!

Send a link about this story on this site to David Cameron

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42 Days - Dictatorship by Stealth

Tomorrow our "respected" and "popular" Prime Minister will lead Nanny's campaign to impose a 42 day detention period without charge, on people that the state "believe" to be terrorists.

We are told that this is for our own protection, and that the law will only be used against terrorists.

Well, Nanny would say that wouldn't she?

Question: If the state really has the evidence to support their belief that an individual is a terrorist, why does it not charge that person within say 7 days, 14 days or 28 days?

Answer: the state does not have the evidence.

Sir John Major wrote in the Times recently that the proposal would aid the terrorists, and help them recruit more people to their cause. Major went on to say that Nanny's case is bogus, and little more than scaremongering.

He was quoted in The Times:

"If we are seen to defend our own values in a manner that does violence to them, then we run the risk of losing those values. Even worse, if our own standards fall it will serve to recruit terrorists more effectively than their own propaganda could ever hope to do.

The Government has introduced measures to protect against terror. These go beyond anything contemplated when Britain faced far more regular – and no less violent – assaults from the IRA. The justification of these has sometimes come close to scaremongering."

Sir John said that Labour was creating "an intrusive State with authoritarian tendencies.

This is not a United Kingdom I recognise and Parliament should not accept it."

Sir John should read the stories on this site over the last four years, an intrusive authoritarian state is exactly what Labour is all about!

Sir Ken Macdonald, QC, who as Director of Public Prosecutions would have a key role in authorising extended periods of detention, said that the 42 day power was not needed.

Lord Falconer has promised to lead a revolt in the Lords if the bill passes the Commons.

Lord Goldsmith, QC, (Bliar's Attorney General) has told The Times that he will oppose the measures if they reach the Lords.

"I remain of the view that no extension is necessary or justified."

MI5 have kept well out of it.

Even the police believe that the proposals are unworkable.

That isn't stopping Brown from trying to bribe people, with our money, to go along with his monstrous plan. Innocent detainees would be entitled to claim up to £3K for each day spent in jail; so that's alright then!

The man driving this proposal is an authoritarian control freak, who fears individuality and freedom of action.

His reputation, health, credibility and party have been destroyed by his own actions and delusions. He and the Labour party are nothing more than an animated corpse.

Britain is being sleepwalked into dictatorship by a corpse, Britain does not deserve to be run by a corpse.

Let us put this corpse out of our misery once and for all!

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Binmens' Bears Banned

Ah, the sweet smell of schadenfreude (a new fragrance from the House of Frost).

Having read a number of stories about binmen who won't remove rubbish because the bins were up steps, or too heavy or contained cabbage stalks, or goodness knows what; it is refreshing to see that the binmen are now getting a taste of their own medicine from the Health and Safety Gestapo at Haringey Council in North London.

It seems that those little teddy bears, that you see attached to dustbin lorries, are deemed by Nanny's Health and Safety Gestapo to be a health and safety issue.

No, not a health and safety issue to the teddy bears and not to the binmen; but to children, who may be tempted to rush over and nick the bear.

"Officials", I always laugh when I see that word (it usually means some jobsworth in a quasi junior bureaucratic role, not anyone with any real role in life), claim that a child could be injured running out into the road to grab a toy.

The binmen are upset, and say that the ban is "ludicrous". They will fight the ban, even if it means going on strike.

Quell surprise!

Doug Taylor, general manager of Haringey Enterprise, is standing firm and has issued a written edict:

"Quite why adults would wish to decorate their vehicles this way is frankly beyond me.

These items could attract children who may run into the road and suffer injury. On the grounds of health and safety and presenting a professional image of our company, I want all such decorations disposed of with immediate effect."

National organiser of the GMB Onion, sorry I mean Union, Justin Bowden said:

"I've never heard of this happening before. It's absolutely crackers and completely unjustified. These managers have taken leave of their senses. It's just ludicrous.

Collecting refuse is a dirty, mundane and repetitive business. The lads like a mascot because it brightens up their day and gives the wagon a little bit of individuality. It's become a tradition over the years and I don't think my members will take too kindly to being told to drop it."

Ah the threat of two fingers, where have I seen that before?

Oh yes, my previous article!

One dustman said:

"There are lots of ways an accident could happen on the round but a child jumping in front of the truck to grab a teddy definitely isn't one of them.

The bosses would be better off concentrating on real health and safety issues such as the weight of rubbish we have to lift and avoiding getting knocked down by impatient motorists."

Ah, the sweet smell of schadenfreude (a new fragrance from the House of Frost).

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Two Fingers To The Bin Men

Nanny's health and safety obsession has infected every aspect of our lives.

Binmen in Warmintser are the latest people to succumb to the infection. They have issued an edict to the residents of the town as follows:

"If we can't pull your wheelie bin using just two fingers it is too heavy - and won't be emptied."

They have decided that bins that need three or more fingers constitute a health and safety risk, as they could fall from the lorry while being emptied.

West Wiltshire District Council is backing the binmen. The council denies that there is an official "two-finger" policy. However, they admit that its binmen use the test.

Nicole Smith, spokesman for West Wiltshire District Council, said:

"Focsa, our waste contractors, are unable to empty wheeled bins that are too heavy, due to the safety risk of the bin falling from the vehicle's lifting gear during emptying.

If, at any time, a bin is considered by the operatives to be overloaded, a sticker will be placed on the lid letting the householder know that they have been unable to take the bin.

If any resident has had a 'heavy' sticker left on the bin then they will be required to remove some of the contents for it to be emptied."

Can someone explain to me exactly why we have local councils, and why we pay council tax?

I suggest that we give the council and FOCSA a hearty two fingered salute of our own!

-enquiries@focsa.co.uk

-West Wiltshire Council

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The Dangers of Walking

Having run this site for almost 4 years, I really thought that I had seen it all.

I was wrong!

This story takes the proverbial biscuit, and clearly demonstrates how Nanny throws commonsense out of the window when applying rules and regulations.

Mark Bailey (charged with stealing cable from a railway line) appeared at Northampton Magistrates Court on Tuesday for a committal hearing, ie he is still innocent until proven guilty.

Now there was a slight cock up, in that he was initially taken to the Crown Court instead. As such, he needed to be taken to the correct court for his hearing.

The two courts are a mere 200 yards apart.

My first reaction was that he could have walked there. However, I accept the point raised by the police that as he is innocent; the sight of him being escorted in public in handcuffs is a breach of human rights legislation etc.

Before you all shout:

So What!

Let us be clear that governments, the police and the media have been known to make a lot of mischief with pictures of people (who are innocent) in handcuffs being led to/from court by police officers.

Therefore it is not wrong for the transfers to be effectuated in a manner that retains the person's dignity, as long as he remains innocent.

Here is where the problem arises.

Instead of finding the nearest vehicle, or other covered means, to move him (eg a blanket over his head), Nanny chose to summon a security van that had to make a 120 mile trip to carry out this mission.

The van took nearly three hours to arrive.

Why not use a blanket, and use a squad car?

Commonsense, if it had been applied here, would have saved a lot of time and money being wasted.

Nanny has thrown away commonsense, and bred a nation of people who cannot think for themselves or use their own initiative.

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The Trouble With Gin II

Off topic, but if you are interested in the outcome of my gin trouble with SSP pop over to "Worse Than Worthless".

Result!

Ken is happy:)

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Nanny Bans Bunting

The Health and Safety Gestapo have donned their jackboots again, and recently put the boot into a little piece of harmless village history.

Each year, Hatfield Broad Oak in Essex holds an annual festival and garnishes itself with bunting and brightly coloured flags.

The festival has fundraising events, floral displays, a dog show, a craft fair, a dance and a 10km run and raises about £10,000 a year for local groups and charities.

This year the decorations have had to be abandoned.

Why?

Health and safety!

Nanny's chums in Essex Highways are concerned that the bunting presents a threat to people's health and safety. The festival has been run for decades without any bunting disasters.

Janet Pugh, a member of the festival organising committee, said:

"Every year we've put up bunting across the road in Hatfield Broad Oak, high enough not to interfere with the passing traffic, but last year someone complained about it to Essex Highways.

The bottom line is that Essex Highways said we didn't have a licence.

We filled in application forms for a licence but the red tape involved is so complicated.

All we want to do is put up a little bit of bunting to celebrate our festival week which raises money for the church. It's a few flags for a maximum of 10 days.

They seem to link bunting in with elaborate Christmas lights – if this was Oxford Street you could understand it."

The health and safety rules mean that the festival's organisers would have to use fixed points on buildings using stainless steel eyebolts that have to undergo rigorous wind and stress tolerance testing.

Leigh Trevitt, a parish councillor, said:

"We use common sense when we put up the bunting. Of course we are concerned about safety, but there has never been any accidents. We are talking about a piece of string with flags on it, nothing heavy, it's ludicrous.

Our village is a little piece of old England and if we are not careful we will lose all our rights."

Commonsense does not apply in Nanny's Britain, she banned it!

As Mr Trevitt says, if we are not careful we will lose all our rights.

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The Dangers of Pies

As we saw over the weekend, mass gatherings of people organised via the net can cause Nanny a few headaches.

I refer of course to the last night of legal drinking on the tube party, last Saturday, which on the whole was good natured but towards the end of the evening got a bit out of hand.

Anyhoo, Nanny normally does her best to stop such gatherings of people; as the pie flingers of Brighton recently found to their cost.

The world's largest ever pie fight, scheduled to have taken place on 24 May in Brighton, had to be cancelled as a result of concerns over health and safety.

Pie Fight Brighton, which had been promoted (just like the last night of drinking on the tube) through Facebook, was abandoned when the Sussex Police intervened. Seemingly Nanny was rather spooked when she realised that over 1,000 people had signed up to take part.

The event was to have been a spontaneous 10 minute "splatterthon", but officers have asked for a postponement so it can be properly organised with the backing of local agencies.

A pie fight spokesman sent out a message to members saying:

"At the time there were less than 100 people signed up. Now there's more than 1,000 and, unsurprisingly, the police aren't too happy about it.

The police have a good sense of humour and think it's a fun idea and have suggested we organise the event for real. Okay, it's not as spontaneous as it was but we could easily turn this into a world record attempt."

The new date and location for the postponed pie fight have not been confirmed. I wonder if the council will try to ban it on the grounds of public liability insurance being insufficient?

In case you are worried about the waste of food, participants have been advised to make their custard pies out of shaving foam.

The net is a very powerful tool for mobilising people, and Nanny is afraid of it.

Good!



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The Trouble With Gin

What is a gentleman of my quality, such as myself, meant to do when confronted with the frim task of having to travel on Network Snail?

Well, in theory, the answer is simple; buy a large gin and tonic from one of Network Snail's purveyors of food and drink and consume it on the train.

Ah, if only life were that simple!

Last Friday evening, I had cause to leave Croyodonia and travel to Londinium.

On platform 1 of East Croydonia station I went to the SSP outlet to buy a gin and tonic.

SSP, on their website, describe themselves as follows:

"SSP is the leading dedicated operator of food and beverage brands in travel locations worldwide. We have a long heritage in food and travel, with over 60 years experience in the industry.

All our operations feature a mix of food and beverage brands tailored specifically for each location."

Pah!

It should come as no surprise to you to learn that their "expertise" does not extend to having sufficient stocks of gin and tonic to sate my needs.

Indeed, SSP's outlet in the hinterlands of Croydonia has been bereft of gin and tonic for the last 7 weeks. Despite the fact that I have complained and filled in numerous "customer care" forms, they still have failed to replenish stocks.

They are to be congratulated, for they have now been awarded my prestigious "Worse Than WorthlessAward".

However, I digress, allow me to get to the point.

I made do with buying a vodka and tonic.

SSP, being completely useless, did not even have a plastic cup for me to drink this from, but instead proffered me a waxed paper coffee cup!

Good grief!

As I consumed my vodka from this waxed receptacle, I read the following waring:

"Caution contents hot"

Why does Nanny think that people need a warning that a coffee cup would contain a hot liquid?

What possible added value does this warning convey?

What use was it to me with my vodka and tonic?

What a bunch of pussies we have become!

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Google Bans Ken

Google (owners of Blogger) have banned one of my sites.

Quote:

"This blog is in violation of Blogger's Terms of Service and is currently visible to authors only."

Is it porn Ken?

No!

Am I evil (Google's motto is "Don't be evil")?

No!

It's merely satirical news items sourced from others.

Maybe many of my visitors are Chinese?

I believe you have around 48 hours left before they stop you looking at it

www.kenfrostnews.blogspot.com

Feel free to leave a comment on the banned site to give Google to finger.

Ken

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