Nanny's Unsuitable Species

My thanks to a loyal reader who alerted me to the demise of a beloved 50 year old cherry tree in Flixton (Greater Manchester).

For why?

Nanny's local authority inspectors had deemed that it had 'outgrown' its location and was an 'unsuitable species for the highway'.

Fearing health and safety issues, if the tree fell over because of its fungal infection, Trafford council chopped the tree down (without giving the residents any notice) at a cost of £1,500.

Trafford Council is unmoved by the complaints and is currently undertaking a major felling programme of mature trees located on main roads, and has identified 1,500 trees that could be removed from 80 roads.

Lisa Higginbottom from the council is quoted by the Mail:

"The reason for the works to the cherry tree were that after inspection there was evidence of a number of root decay fungi brackets at its base. 'The fungi in the tree would have rotted the roots leaving it unstable and eventually falling over without any warning, this risk is greater when it is in full leaf as the tree has a larger sail. 'Therefore the tree was felled on safety grounds.'"

The tree was replaced with an unsightly bollard!

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Auntie's Views On Cleavage

I understand that a particularly popular show on Auntie's network is The Voice (something that I have never watched, nor ever intend to watch).

Apparently this show attracts an audience of around 7-8 million.

The final, shown last Saturday, attracted a grand total of 139 complaints about the plunging cleavage of someone called Holly Willoughby (who?).

Roughly speaking 139 as a percentage of 7.5 million is less than 0.002%, yet Auntie kowtowed to the "pressure" and (after spending time, effort and licence payers' money on meetings and discussions) issued an apology:

"We're sorry if some viewers found Holly's dress to be unsuitable.

Holly enjoys fashion and we felt the dress she wore for the live final of The Voice UK was glamorous and wholly appropriate for the occasion."

May I ask why people who choose to watch shite are in the slightest bit surprised when they end up being "offended" by something within the programme?

 
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Bin Brother - Bin Bag Rationing

My commiserations to the good people of Monmouthshire, who are to be limited to putting out two bin bags of rubbish a fortnight in an attempt to make them recycle more.

For why?

The council's non-recyclables limit is the strictest in Wales; as it aims for recycling rates of 58% by 2015/16. Unsurprisingly, according to the BBC, more than 1,000 people have signed an online petition against the limit.

However, if the council is to be believed (who actually believes what their local council tells them?) they are in something of a bind; for they cannot afford to keep paying millions of pounds in landfill tax, nor fines for missing recycling targets.

Q: Why do the government/EU fine councils for not hitting recycling targets?

A: Because governments need money to function, and fining councils (which then pass on the fines to us) is an easy way to raise revenue.

The council believes up to 70% of what is thrown away is recyclable or food waste.

Belief is one thing, but facts are more often than not another.

That being said frankly speaking (to mount my hobby horse....can I say "mount" at this hour?) wasting food is a disgrace, most especially as there are so many people in the UK who are clearly eating too much anyway compared with the millions who starve elsewhere.

Has no one heard of bubble and squeak??

At some stage the profligacy of food in this country will be brought to a juddering halt. We are an island and cannot grow enough to feed ourselves; ie we rely on imports, which are becoming ruinously expensive as staple food prices (rice, grains etc) rise in response to lower yields and rising demand from a wealthier Asia Pacific.

Anyhoo, disregarding the fact that market forces will correct what Nanny's interference won't wrt food waste, the simple fact is that an average household (wasteful or not) will generally produce more than two bin bags of waste in a fortnight.

Monmouthshire has form for being bin fascists, in April, plans for clear bin bags that would have allowed the council to check on what people throw away were scrapped following opposition.

Whatever happens, one thing can be certain the good people of Monmouthshire will be fined for every "breach" of Nanny's rules.

Ker Farking Ching!

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The Dangers of Wendy Houses

My thanks to a loyal reader who alerted me to a particularly daft piece of Nanny nonsense concerning a trampoline and a Wendy House.

Scarlett Cox, five years old (far too young to have to encounter Nanny nonsense) has been "evicted" from her Wendy House by Tandridge District Council.

Scarlett was given the house for her last birthday. However, local planning officers have decreed that she can no longer use it.

For why?

Her home is in Auckland Road, Caterham, which is communal and owned by Tandridge District Council.

Her mother Nicola received a letter from the council last month saying that the Wendy House and a trampoline must be removed from the garden by July 10 on health and safety grounds.

Ms Cox is quoted by This Is Surrey Today:

"It just seems so pathetic and petty. We bought it as a surprise present for Scarlett's fifth birthday last year.

We fitted it out with carpets and curtains, and painted it in bright colours.

Scarlett was so excited when she first saw it – she almost cried with joy.

She would sit with her friends in her new house after school, and have her dinner in there."

She said her neighbours' kids used to love playing in the garden too.

"We're all being told we should get kids active and out in the fresh air, yet their play equipment is being taken away.

We four neighbours suggested to the council we could draw up a legal document saying we would exclude the council from any responsibility if there were any injuries, but they don't seem to want to know."

A spokeswoman for Tandridge District Council said:

"The trampoline and Wendy House have been placed on land which is owned by the council and should be available to all leaseholders to use.

We have not given permission for the land to be used in this way and we cannot risk anyone being injured on the land.

We would not consider a joint waiver because it would still be our land and our responsibility and open to anyone to use, which means we would be liable for any health and safety issues."

What a prison we have built for ourselves under the "benign rule" of Nanny!

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Ou Est Edward Snowden?

Track the 12 hour flight of the posse of journalists on their way from Moscow to Havana, sans Edward Snowden and sans alcohol!

They seek him here, they seek him there
Those journos seek him everywhere
Is he in heaven or is he in hell?
That damned elusive Snowden

Flight tracker courtesy of Flightradar24.com


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Big Brother - By Any Means Necessary

Channel 4's Dispatches, scheduled for tonight at 20:00, may prove to be rather interesting:

"Dispatches exposes the shocking story of Britain's secret police and how undercover officers reportedly used sex and lies to spy on members of the public. 

The programme reveals the names of high-profile targets spied on by the police.

Through the personal testimony of a whistleblower who operated deep undercover for four years, the film examines the ethically dubious tactics of a clandestine unit within the Metropolitan police. 

Tasked with infiltrating political campaigns and protest groups, it operated under the unofficial motto 'By any means necessary'. 

The programme speaks exclusively to the women who say their lives have been wrecked after being spied upon; and who reveal how they were duped into sexual relationships with men they didn't even know were cops. 

One of the women reveals the heart-wrenching story of how she was also deceived into having a child with a police spy."

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Irony

When Max Kelly, the chief security officer for Facebook, left the social media company in 2010, he did not go to Google, Twitter or a similar Silicon Valley concern. Instead the man who was responsible for protecting the personal information of Facebook’s more than one billion users from outside attacks went to work for another giant institution that manages and analyses large pools of data: the National Security Agency.

Source The New York Times.

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The Thieving Bastards of Newham Council

As loyal readers know, Nanny and her chums will do anything in their power to screw this country's hapless citizens out of as much money as possible.

Up until now this "milch cow" approach was under the guise of Nanny's rule of "law", now it seems that Nanny has gone one step further and is happy to gather such tithes illegally and outwith the rule of law.

Step forward the thieving bastards from Newham Council, who have happily been issuing illegal parking tickets over the last two years based on "evidence" garnered from a dozen cameras that have not been authorised by the Vehicle Certification Agency (VCA).
 
The BBC reports that Newham Council knows that between 2011 and 2013 it issued 6,840 tickets from unauthorised cameras - making £350,000.

By law, only camera models that have been specifically authorised by the VCA can be used by councils. Otherwise authorities might use cameras that are not of a high enough calibre to be relied upon for evidence. However, Newham Council was using cameras that did not have approval.

The council has now cancelled all the parking tickets that were unpaid, writing off a total of £347,376. However, it is refusing to refund those drivers who settled the unlawful fines straight away.

 

A Newham Council spokesman said:

"An internal review in June 2013 of 169 cameras operated by Newham Council found that 12 cameras used to issue parking tickets were not fully certified at that time. 

The council has decided that all outstanding fines from tickets issued via these cameras will be cancelled.

The cameras recorded vehicle use which was liable for enforcement.

As other councils have established in law when involved in similar cases on a much larger scale, we will therefore not be allowing appeals on tickets paid in relation to these cameras."

Ker Farking Ching!

Newham council are thieving bastards, happy to enforce the law in order to extract money from local residents but refusing to obey the law when it comes to its own behaviour and criminal activity.

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Ageism Alive and Well

I am perplexed and irked to see that, despite Nanny's many rules regulations and pc attitude, ageism is alive and well and being promulgated by a professional firm that should know better.

Step forward Sage (that has been "in the business of helping businesses manage their finances, people, customers and suppliers and to plan for future success since 1981") which has decreed the following:

"The pace of change within the profession has accelerated and created an environment where ‘Generation Y’ accountants are best placed to respond to the changing role and demands, according to the latest Pulse research from Sage."

Who are "Generation Y"?

Those born between 1980 and 1993!

Ironically sage, as per the dictionary definition, means "having, showing, or indicating profound wisdom".

As the Nanny state's power increases, so the wisdom of Nanny's subjects decreases.

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Bin Brother - Green Brighton's Bin Strike

What is the one service that councils are responsible for, that we all use or interact with (whether we are residents or visitors)?

Refuse collection and street cleaning!

This is the one service, above all others, that councils cannot afford to screw up if they don't want to appear to be incompetent cretins.

Step forward Brighton's Green council (a copy of the Green manifesto promise from 2011 is proudly displayed above - observe the word "cleaner"), which has through incredible mismanagement and incompetence engulfed Brighton in yet another bin strike; this one has been going on for a week, and threatens to continue into next week.

The earlier bin strike took place in May, here is what I said about it then:

"Here in the Green "paradise" of Brightonia the binmen have gone on strike.

Call me old fashioned, but the one service that councils provide that absolutely everyone (resident and visitor) sees the results of, or comes into contact with, is that of refuse collection and street cleaning; ie it is the one service that the council really ought not to fark up!

Ironically councils throughout the land manage to fark it up on a regular basis!"

Welcome to Brighton!

As noted before many times on this site, councils are the enemies of the people!

Green Brighton council is particularly adept at proving that point.


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Nanny Bans E

Oh dear it seems that Nanny has entered some sort of timewarp and reverted to the 1990's.

For why?

She has muddled up e-cigarettes (the popular and safe means of weaning oneself off fags) with the 1990's craze for E (a psychedelic drug).

Yes, Nanny Europe is threatening to ban e-fags, or rather classify them as a medicine, on the grounds that they might be harmful and that children will be lured into smoking by the sight of an adult looking like a complete wazzock "smoking" and posing with one of these things!

No self respecting child ever wants to emulate an adult who looks like a wazzock!

Nanny really needs to get out more.

Naughty naughty, very naughty....

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CCTV Free Pubs

I am pleased to see that pubs in England and Wales with no history of trouble will no longer be forced by local authorities to install CCTV systems, that at least is what Nanny has said she wants.

The Information Commissioner had said it was seriously concerned by the number of new CCTV cameras being foisted on trouble free pubs; as such the Department for Communities and Local Government is to issue new guidance to licensing authorities.

The new code of practice is aimed at encouraging police and local authorities to consider whether putting in new cameras is "appropriate" in all cases.

Community Pubs Minister Brandon Lewis is quoted by the BBC:

"CCTV has a role to play in stopping and deterring crime in anti-social behaviour hotspots.

But well-run community pubs that don't have a public order problem shouldn't be tarred with the same brush."

As to whether local authorities pay heed to the proposed new guidance of course remains to be seen!

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Hoozah!

I am pleased to hear that Cameron thinks that we have a "relatively honest" police force!

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I See A Blue Lagoon and I Want To Dye It Black!

I am hugely gemused to read of the fun a games that High Peak Borough Council has had trying to stop swimmers taking a dip in the "Blue Lagoon" (a quarry pool at Harpur Hill near Buxton).

The pool's turquoise waters are irresistible to swimmers, yet lurking beneath the tranquil surface lies hidden dangers including, but not limited to; an abandoned car, rubbish, dead animals and a pH level akin to bleach (this is in fact akin to the average British beach, except there seems to be no excrement in the "Blue Lagoon"!).

Last year the council erected (can I say "erected" before the watershed) warning signs, to no avail as swimmers kept taking a dip.

This year the council came up with a terrific wheeze, dye the water black to make it less appealing.

This, seemingly, has worked and the number of swimmers has decreased.

A High Peak Borough Council spokeswoman is quoted by the Telegraph:

“It has similar pH levels to bleach and is extremely cold. 

There are also a number of hazards, there was a car abandoned in there and all sorts of rubbish, but it still looked a lovely turquoise colour.

We are trying to find ways of discouraging people from finding it attractive. 

There is already some anecdotal evidence that this is working as residents said that over the weekend people were coming up as they normally do to swim and then very quickly turning around again when they saw the water.”

I wonder if anyone had actually injured themselves whilst swimming this "lake"?

Irrespective of the foolhardiness or not of taking a dip there, I have to admire the British spunk being exhibited by those swimmers who were not afraid of the bleach or corpses!

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Ker Farking Ching! - Making Death Pay

As the old saying goes "the only certainty in life is death and taxes".

Kudos therefore to Nanny for finding a way of taxing even the dead, as per this story that was pointed out to me by a loyal reader.

Around 40 people attending a funeral service were somewhat "underwhelmed" when a traffic warden placed a parking ticket onto a funeral limousine outside St Saviours Church on Lewisham High Street.

The Sun claims that, when confronted, the traffic warden said:

“I am doing my job.”

Ah yes, that rather familiar refrain!

Funeral Director Nicki Dunphy said:

“Everyone is outraged. 

She brazenly put the ticket on the car when the family hadn’t even gone into the church. 

We, and other funeral directors, have to stop to unload coffins and to let grieving families exit the cars. 

There are funerals every week at St Saviours Church and dozens of other churches all over the borough and I’ve never heard of this happening before. 

People expect a bit of respect - this isn’t just a public car.”

Unsurprisingly, following a hoo hah, Nanny's chums from Lewisham council have since apologised:

“We apologise for any distress the issuing of this parking ticket has caused. 

Funeral hearses and limousines are exempt from parking restrictions and the Penalty Charge Notice should not have been issued. It has now been withdrawn.”

Proof positive that Nanny will try every trick in the book to raise money from her "loyal" subjects!

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Educashun - Back To The Future

I am gemused to see that as from 2015 (the 200th anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo) GCSEs will move from coursework and continuous assessment to exams at the end of two years.

Pupils will face more rigorous content, with those studying English, for example, having to read a 19th-Century novel and a whole Shakespeare play; then having to write an essay.

Gosh, is that not what I had to do all those years ago when I took my O Levels?

Progress is marked by the realisation and admission that sometimes what was done in the past was better than what we are doing in the present.

Amo
Amas
Amat
Amamus
Amant etc!

Caesar's De Bellum Gallico here we come!

Oh and by the way, with reference to the above clip, those who bemoan the fact that Faecesbook, Twatter et al have given bullies the chance to ply their evil ways really should remember that bullying has been around far longer the the internet and that kids can be right little gits to each other.

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CASHing In On Publicity

I see our old "chums" from Consensus Action on Salt and Health (Cash) are up in arms again about the "dangers" of salt.

I do wonder, given how many very real threats there are in the world that we should really be worried about, how it is a group of people have ganged up together to fret about salt; they must have very empty lives?

Anyhoo, it seems the latest "threat" from salt comes in the shape of biscuits such as "Butterkist". CASH are howling with anxiety that parents should not feed their kids too many biscuits, because they contain salt.

Amusingly some major brands seemingly contain more salt than chicken nuggets.

As per the Telegraph Asda’s fun size mini milk chocolate digestives were the worst offender, with 0.4g of salt per 25g bag. Sainsbury’s giant white chocolate and raspberry cookies packed 0.39g per 60g biscuit. McVitie’s mini gingerbread men had 0.3g of salt for every 25g pack while its dark chocolate hobnobs delivered 0.2g per 19g biscuit.

For comparison, a Birds Eye fish finger contains 0.2g of salt per 28g finger. A Sainsbury’s chicken nugget has 0.24g of salt per nugget. The adult recommended daily allowance is 6g, but for under-threes it is just 2g.

Graham MacGregor, professor of cardiovascular medicine at Queen Mary, University of London who by happenstance runs CASH said:

“With salt hidden in sweet foods as well, how can parents be expected to prevent their children from eating too much, putting them at risk of high blood pressure as adults?” 

FFS!

Parents, if they have any commonsense, won't be feeding their kids these things night and day. In the event they are, it won't be the salt that kills them it will be their obesity.

On that note, if CASH is so worried about the salt, why don't the manufacturers simply add some more sugar to counterbalance the salt?

At this point I ask myself if only human beings were able to excrete excess salt in some way, like animals do; eg via sweat or their kidneys?

Oh, hang on a minute.....

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Big Brother - Beware Nanny's Back Passage

As internet companies fall over themselves to claim that Nanny USA doesn't have direct access to their networks, I would advise you to look very carefully at how they phrase their statements; who is to say that there is not a "back passage"?

As per the Wall Street Journal:

"One former government official and cybersecurity legal expert said the companies are likely carefully parsing their words. This person said it is likely that the government is able to get copies of data in real-time or near real-time without accessing the Internet companies' central servers. 

The Internet companies didn't answer questions about these potential side doors into their data."

Meanwhile on this side of the Atlantic, Nanny UK is scrambling to assure us that GCHQ has not been accessing Nanny USA's data trawled from people's electronic communications.

Such is the modern world of technology, it gives us immense freedom to communicate but also has the power to enslave us!

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Nanny USA "Not" Spying on US Citizens

Further to yesterday's article about the NSA collecting phone and internet records of US citizens, James Clapper director of US national intelligence has somewhat muddied the waters by stating that the policy only targets "non-US persons".

Errmm...sorry for being thick...but how does Nanny USA know the nationality of someone on the end of a phone or on a pc?

Anyone care to have a guess as to how Nanny can achieve this seemingly impossible feat?

The good news is that if Mr Clapper is telling the truth, then Nanny USA is only spying on foreigners.

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Big Brother - NSA Spies On US Citizens

I see that USA Nanny has been happily spying on her own citizens without their knowledge.

The Guardian reports that the National Security Agency is currently collecting the telephone records of millions of US customers of Verizon, one of America's largest telecoms providers, under a top secret court order issued in April.

The order, a copy of which has been obtained by the Guardian, requires Verizon on an "ongoing, daily basis" to give the NSA information on all telephone calls in its systems, both within the US and between the US and other countries.

The document shows for the first time that under the Obama administration the communication records of millions of US citizens are being collected indiscriminately and in bulk – regardless of whether they are suspected of any wrongdoing.

The secret Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (Fisa) granted the order to the FBI on April 25, giving the government unlimited authority to obtain the data for a specified three-month period ending on July 19.

Under the terms of the blanket order, the numbers of both parties on a call are handed over, as is location data, call duration, unique identifiers, and the time and duration of all calls. The contents of the conversation itself are not covered.

I am somewhat concerned that the mainstream media have expressed shock and surprise over this. The issue of surveillance by the state has been in the public domain for some time now; eg in April 2012 I warned you about project Stellar Wind (due to go live in September 2013):

"Its purpose: to intercept, decipher, analyze, and store vast swaths of the world’s communications as they zap down from satellites and zip through the underground and undersea cables of international, foreign, and domestic networks. The heavily fortified $2 billion center should be up and running in September 2013.

Flowing through its servers and routers and stored in near-bottomless databases will be all forms of communication, including the complete contents of private emails, cell phone calls, and Google searches, as well as all sorts of personal data trails—parking receipts, travel itineraries, bookstore purchases, and other digital “pocket litter.”....

Everybody’s a target; everybody with communication is a target.”

I did warn you!

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Nanny Advises Pregnant Women To Live In A Bubble

Despite the fact that ever since the human race evolved from the primeval swamp and women started having babies, whilst enduring plagues, famines, wars, drought etc, Nanny has decided that this whole "pregnancy thing" is way too risky.

Step forward the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG), which has decreed that pregnant women should "play it safe" and avoid chemicals found in many common household products. 

On the list of "dangerous" products are; tinned foods, ready meals, shower gel and new cars.

The "rationale" for RCOG's advice is that, seemingly, no one really knows enough about the chemicals in these products to determine if they pose a risk or not.

Now they tell us!

However, in true Nanny style, RCOG then go on to say that it is unlikely that any of the exposures are truly harmful for most babies and, based on current evidence, it is impossible to give an accurate assessment of risk.

So dare I ask, what was the farking point of publishing an alarmist piece of shite like this if there is no credible scientific evidence to back it up?

Also on the list, as per the BBC:

• Cosmetic products and toiletries such as moisturisers, shower gel and sunscreen could, theoretically, also pose a chemical risk
• Cleaning products, air fresheners and non-stick frying pans can be added to the hazard list
• Pregnant women might also want to avoid decorating the new baby's room with fresh paint as breathing the fumes may be harmful

Oh, and do not assume natural or herbal products or remedies are safe!

I am amazed that woman have managed to survive pregnancy in the millennia before Nanny came along!

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Nanny Licences Motorway Pub

I have to say I couldn't help but guffaw (can I say "guffaw" before the watershed?) loudly at the story today about JD Wetherspoon being granted permission to open its first motorway pub, after being given the go-ahead at services on the M40.

The bar and restaurant will open at Extra in Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire, and will be allowed to serve booze between 08:00 and 01:00.

Suffice to say, on cue, a storm of "moral outrage" has erupted from various anti booze groups; eg Sir Ian Gilmore, chair of the Alcohol Health Alliance, is quoted by the BBC:

"To reduce alcohol-related harm, we have to reduce its availability, not increase it.

Opening a bar at a service station sends out completely the wrong message if we are trying to prevent harm from alcohol-related traffic accidents."

Errmm unless Sir Ian has been living in a cave for the last few centuries, he is surely aware that pubs and inns have been a staple feature of British roadsides since the wheel was invented. The modern form of transport (ie car) has not changed the fact that many fine pubs are placed on A roads, main roads and even humble backstreets (all accessible to, and used by, cars).

What is the difference between a pub on a road, or a pub on a motorway?

If you are stupid enough to drink and drive on an ordinary road, then you are stupid enough to do the same on a motorway.


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Nanny's Disconnect From The Food Chain

I am saddened but not particularly surprised to see that growing up in the Nanny state, where parents abrogate their responsibility for bringing up their children to the state, has produced a generation of children who have no idea where food comes from.

A survey conducted by the British Nutrition Foundation (BNF) of 27,500 five to sixteen year olds highlighted that approximately 33% of UK primary pupils think cheese is made from plants, and 25% think fish fingers come from chicken or pigs (given the ongoing scandal over processed foods, that may in fact be nearer to the mark!).

To add to the confusion, a large number of kids also seem to be under the delusion that pasta and bread are meat based products.

A further 10% think that spuds grow on bushes or trees.

Roy Ballam, education programme manager at BNF, is quoted by the BBC talking about BNF's Healthy Eating Week which aims "to start the process of re-engaging children with the origins of food, nutrition and cooking, so that they grow up with a fuller understanding of how food reaches them and what a healthy diet and lifestyle consists of."

A spokesman for England's Department for Education said:

"We want to encourage children to develop a love of food, cooking and healthy eating that will stay with them as they grow up."

That's all very nice and dandy, but I learned about food and cooking from my parents and grandfather; not the state. Indeed on a Saturday morning my dad used to regularly take me to the local butcher's shop to see the carcasses hanging in the cold room and to watch the sausage machine at work.

These findings show that parents are failing in their primary responsibility in bringing up their children to have a basic understanding of how the world functions and how to feed themselves. It is not the role of the state to teach children how to feed themselves, just as it isn't the role of the state to teach children how to tie their own shoe laces or wipe their butts.

Cooking classes etc are fine and useful for developing an understanding of food groups, nutrition and hygiene etc. However, the basic understanding of where food comes from should start in the home; otherwise parents will have no role whatsoever in the upbringing of their own children!

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