The Bleedin' Obvious

Full marks to my local LA Fitness for putting up a warning cone the other day by the side of the swimming pool, telling people that the floor might be wet!

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Taking The PNAS

A tad off topic.

However, I was bemused to read today that some scientists have spent time and money studying the bubbles champagne.

Their conclusion?

Their research, reported in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), showed that there are up to 30 times more flavour-enhancing chemicals in the bubbles than in the rest of the drink.

Wine "experts" say the finding changes completely our understanding of the role of bubbles in sparkling drinks.

For fark's sake!

I could have told them that for a very modest fee.

Haven't these people ever tried drinking flat champagne, flat coke, flat G&T, flat vodka and coke or flat lager?

All of which are absolutely foul without the bubbles.

Who on earth funded this colossal waste of time an money?

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Nanny Bans Mummy

I am not the least bit surprised at the latest bout of lunacy involving Nanny's "won't someone think of the children?" centred policies.

This was bound to happen!

Two working mothers (Leanne Shepherd and Lucy Jarrett), who happen to be in the police force, have ended up breaking Nanny's law.

What have they done?

They have looked after each other's children, on a private basis which enabled them to job share at Aylesbury Police Station.

Fair enough you might say?

Not in Nanny's world.

For you see my loyal readers they are not registered childminders.

So what?

The fact that they look after each other's kids for more than 2 hours at a time, and derive "reward" (ie they get to keep their jobs) means (in Nanny's eyes) they are breaking the law.

Ofsted require that they complete a myriad of checks (and of course a CRB check) before they can look after their kids again.

How did Nanny come to hear of this private arrangement?

Some interfering, nosey c*nt with nothing better to do with their lives reported them to the state.

Yes my loyal readers, Nanny has done well she has created a nation of spies and informers who enjoy dropping other people in it!

Labour's Childcare Act 2006 prevents anyone from gaining a "reward" for looking after someone's children for more than two hours away from the child's home, unless they register with Ofsted and follow the normal childminder rules.

It is rather sad that it has taken people 3 years to wake up to the real consequence of this appalling piece of legislation (one of many) drafted by Nanny.

Quite why the Tories or Liberals did not kick up a fuss over this law when it was being passed I don't know.

It is also rather ironic the police officers didn't know that they were breaking the law.

That sums up the state of legislation in this country:

- Too much

- Over complicated

- Massively intrusive

A lasting monument to ZaNuLabour!

I truly hope that Labour gets a sound kicking in the coming months, and that they are well and truly kicked out of orifice for several generations.

Needless to say, Nanny is now sh*tting herself over the public outcry (there is even a petition on the Downing Street website) and is rapidly trying to backpedal. There is to be review etc etc.

Children's Minister, Vernon Coaker, slimed:

"The legislation is in place to ensure the safety and well-being of all children. But we need to be sure it does not penalise hard-working families.

My department is discussing with Ofsted the interpretation of the word 'reward'."

All very well, but these are the c*nts that drafted the legislation in the first place. Shouldn't they have thought of this before?

Answer: Nanny didn't give a toss then, because she assumed that people would roll over and take it.

Now that she is on the verge of being wiped out at the polls, she is running scared.

Let us do the country a real favour and kill her off once and for all.

When the politicians (of whatever party) come a knocking on your door begging for you votes, ask them to show (in writing) exactly what they will do to cut off the tentacles of the state, that infest our daily lives, in the first 100 days in office.

Only a plan in writing, that shows exactly which legislation they will repeal will suffice.

Don't vote for the parties that won't produce such a document.

Nanny will not be content until she has taken every child away from its natural parent.

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Sweaty

Gordon Brown looked very sweaty on The Andrew Marr Show this morning, yet it is not that hot in Brighton today.

I also see that Lord Mandelson of Foie Gras has said that he will work for the Tories, if Labour loses and if the Tories want him.

Game Over!

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Power Corrupts - HMRC's Global Ambitions

Yesterday on my HMRC site I warned of the dangers of Dave Hartnett's (Permanent Secretary for Tax and Commissioner of HM Revenue & Customs HMRC), aspirations for powers for national tax authorities to access data directly on their taxpayers' assets in other jurisdictions.

"I see automatic exchange of information as the benchmark. That is the position which I would like to reach as standard."

Doubtless the "if you are innocent, you have nothing to hide" retort will be used by some (in fact, if you read the comments on the piece, you will see that someone has already made a comment along those lines).

Many will also retort that the majority of people do not have assets abroad, and so why does it matter?

"In Germany they came first for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
The they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me,
and by that time no one was left to speak up."

Martin Niemoeller

As I noted, granting governments and their bureaucrats the right to such unlimited access to people's private lives gives these governments (and their bureaucrats) quite some considerable power over the individual.

I would also point out that HMRC has been assiduously acquiring ever more intrusive powers (search my HMRC site), both with respect to intrusive capabilities and the power the levy ever higher fines.

For instance did you know that HMRC can, if they so wish, monitor your Oyster card usage (ie they can track where you go)?

Are we really able to trust these governments and their bureaucrats not to misuse this power?

The state should be afraid of the people, not the people afraid of the state.

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The Joy of Dick

You will recall loyal readers that a wee while ago Nanny's chums in Flintshire Council banned Spotted Dick?

"It seems that the traditional British pudding "Spotted Dick" has been deemed "offensive" by the Thought Police.

As such the word "Dick" has been treated in an Orwellian manner and deemed "ungood". The new name for the pudding is "Spotted Richard"...."

I understand that, following a veritable deluge of complaints from the public, the council have now reinstated Dick!

What a waste of time!

Plonkers!

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Dictatorships

The bedrock of dictatorship is an overempowered, arrogant, unaccountable, unelected bureaucracy populated by "little men" who believe that they are working for a "greater cause".

See today's www.hmrcisshite.com

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Spies 'R Us - Snooping Councils

As you are doubtless aware Nanny is drawing up plans to upwardly revise her much loathed council tax charges, by increasing the valuations of properties and the tax charges thereon.

In order to up the value of the properties, aside from taking into account house price increases etc, Nanny intends to delve more deeply into the actually property itself wrt eg; extensions, size of gardens, swimming pools, views (yes, really, views!), en suite bathrooms etc etc.

She could of course send her inspectors around to every house in the land, and demand entry for a full top to tail inspection. However this would be a tad problematic:

1 It would be very expensive

2 It would take an inordinate amount of time

3 Most people, with any brains, would tell the inspectors to Fark Orf (even if they had been granted a statutory right of entry).

Therefore Nanny is going to use another method; she will spy on us.

Her council tax inspectors have been given a "snoopers handbook" which will enable them to detect even the most discreet of home improvements.

The manual trains Nanny's Tax Snoopers (NTS) to follow up leads from "informants" by photographing properties, examining estate agents' details and room-by-room inspections.

Nanny, as you can see, is up to her nasty old trick of using people to spy and inform on each other.

Sadly there are sick, twisted individuals with nothing better to do in their lives who will happily trot along to Nanny's spy headquarters (ie the local council) and dump on their friends and neighbours.

Once the details have been amassed, Nanny will create a database (oh how she loves these databases - such a pity that none of them will ever work!) of all the 23million homes in England. She will then assign each one of them a one of 100 "dwelling house codes", which will be used as the basis for council tax revaluations.

I dare say that I am one of the few people in the country who actually believes that the poll tax was the best method for raising local revenue to cover the cost of local services.

- It was charged on a per adult basis (subject to various rebates),

- It focused everyone's attention on the true cost of local services home,

- It made people realise that their never ceasing demands for "better" services had consequences (ie a cost that they had to pay for), and

- It was extremely difficult to evade.

I guess that's why it was so unpopular!

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Southend Council Above The Law

It is "heartwarming" to see councils displaying themselves in their true light, when it comes to thinking up ways of screwing local taxpayers out of even more of their hard earned money.

Southend Council showed its true self recently by putting itself above the law in its relentless pursuit of Mark Howard, a Southend bicycle shop owner.

Mr Howard's crime?

He isn't creating any commercial waste!

Ermm...so what?

Well you see loyal readers Southend Council makes a nice little earner out of charging shop owners etc for commercial waste. Mr Howard, by not producing any, clearly doesn't have to pay a commercial waste fee.

In the real, law abiding world, yes.

However, in Nanny's world.

NO!

Southend Council flatly refuse to accept the fact that they cannot make some money out of Mr Howard, so they have chosen to disbelieve the fact that he doesn't produce any waste and are fining him £180.

Ker-farking-ching!

How is it Mr Howard manages not to produce waste?

He stores surplus materials such as cardboard boxes and old pedals away for re-use, bent steel and aluminium frames that can't be salvaged are sold for scrap.

Several weeks ago he received a letter from Southend Council asking how he disposed of waste. He rang to explain, but the council refuses to believe him.

They sent an "officer" round, he didn't look round or ask any questions, merely gave Mr Howard a letter which told him to pay a fixed penalty.

Mr Howard has paperwork to prove that he does what he says he does with the waste, yet they seem not ot be listening.

Simon Crowther, group manager for waste, said:

"Mr Howard is required under the Environmental (Duty of Care) Regulations 1991 to produce evidence as to how he legally and lawfully disposes of commercial waste under his control.

Mr Howard has been issued with a fixed-penalty fine due to the fact he failed to provide this evidence."

It seems to me that the Council has not been listening, as they are more interested in making money.

I would note that, under the law ie "innocent until proven guilty", the onus is on them to prove that Mr Howard is producing waste. Southend choose not to prove this and instead have placed themselves above the law.

Nanny is displaying her true nature here, she is a dictator who uses the law to enrich herself.

By the way, it's a Tory council!

Drop them a line here Southend Council

Here's David Cameron's email to tell him what you think: camerond@parliament.uk

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The Dangers of Clocks

The good people of Helston (Cornwall) must consider themselves very fortunate that for over 200 years they have not suffered a serious, clock related disaster.

For you see my loyal readers Nanny has come along just in the nick of time to save these good people from a very nasty occurrence, lest the church clock of St Michael's injures someone.

Since 1793 a volunteer warden has wound the clock up. Nanny very wisely has decreed that this presents a health and safety risk, and as such has banned it.

The church will now have to spend £5,000 to buy a machine to do the job.

The warden, Mr Nott, was given the health and safety advice from the clock's maintenance manager who said that:

"Unfortunately many people who wind clocks up aren't getting any younger and their safety is important."

As ever with Nanny she ignores the reality. Mr Nott's predecessor did the job for 40 years without having an accident, and retired at 80.

Surely there are more important safety issues that Nanny can apply her "brain" to?

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Prats of The Week - The Home Orifice

Tis a Monday morning, and with a song in my heart I am happy to award my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Award to Nanny's Home Orifice.

What have they done to deserve this?

Easy peasy, they have issued a booklet (at our expense) telling their own staff not to eat food in front of Muslim colleagues during Ramadan; lest it makes them feel hungry.

Aside from the sheer bollocks waste of time and money that this absurd piece of "homespun" advice has inflicted, it is also highly offensive and patronising to Muslims as it singles them out as being "different".

Didn't Hitler do the same thing with Jewish people?

It is also somewhat ironic that the Home Orifice is so concerned about the possible "hurtfulness" of eating in front of Muslims who are fasting.

Is this not the same Home Orifice that, as part of the Nanny state, gave approval to the US to use the UK for rendition flights (whereby Muslim terror suspects were snatched from various foreign locations, and taken to G'tmo to be waterboarded without due legal process)?

What's worse?

Waterboarding, or eating in front of someone who is fasting?

Maybe eating in front of a fasting Muslim will be added to the CIA torture manual?

The Home Orifice, well deserving Prats of The Week.

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A Question For Harperson

You categorise lap dancing clubs as being immoral.

Aside from your incorrect assertion, given undue and unopposed publicity by a lazy media, about the costs of corporate entertainment in lap dancing clubs being tax deductible (it is not) you have failed to mention that the profits of the clubs and the income earned by the girls/men working in these clubs are taxed.

In other words, Nanny takes a nice little cut from the earnings of these "immoral" establishments and the girls that work in them that you claim are "exploited".

This tax revenue goes towards paying your salary and expenses; ie you are living, in part, off "immoral" (as per your definition) earnings.

Will you be foregoing that part of your earnings that is funded by these "immoral" activities?

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The Relief of Lap Dancing

Congratulations to Harriet Harperson for yet again demonstrating to the world that she and her ilk in Nanny's government are nothing more than a grandstanding, publicity seeking opportunists with little regard for "facts".

Her latest foray into cynical opportunism (recently, when playing at being PM, she called for targets wrt rape trial convictions) comes with her call to end tax relief on corporate entertainment that takes place in lap dancing clubs.

Factoid: as I pointed out yesterday on www.loanbuster.net, corporate entertainment is not tax deductible; neither is she chancellor as far as I am aware.

In other words, she was talking utter bollocks!

Nothing new there then.

It is a pity that the media allowed her airtime to self publicise in this manner, without first checking the facts.

Why didn't the media check the facts first, and challenge her?

Why was she given so much free airtime unchallenged?

It seems to me that we are neither well served by our "government", nor the media.

Why are my taxes paying this woman's salary?

Why are we buying newspapers that report this woman's drivel as though it were fact?

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The Joy of High Heels

I see that the dinosaurs of the TUC, who are convening in Liverpool this week, are once again proving their "relevance" for the 21st century.

Amidst the most serious recession that we have had in generations, facing cuts in public expenditure, facing a pensions crisis in the private sector and an ending to the public sector defined benefit pension schemes what do the "brothers" and "sisters" of the TUC talk about?

High heels!

The TUC have deemed that high heels in the work place are dangerous (and they don't mean on the factory floor, but in the office), and have called for employers to carry out risk assessments on women wearing high heels at work.

Aren't men allowed to wear them too?

The "brothers" and "sisters" have demanded that women wear "sensible" shoes to work.

Errmm...surely women are able to decide for themselves what they will wear to normal office jobs (within the confines of good taste and decency etc)?

The motion received overwhelming support.

Doubtless world leaders will stop what they are doing, trying to salvage the global economy, and rush to carry out the TUC's bidding!

This nonsense reminds me of a tale that my late father (a captain in the Merchant Navy) told me about his "amusing" interactions with British dockers in the 50's/60's.

Dockyard practices were rigidly applied, and were based on agreements between the powerful dockers' unions and management of the docks. Should you wish to unload your cargo on a Saturday the rules were particularly inflexible.

Primarily the dockers were only on duty for 3 hours on Saturday, for which they naturally received double time. Time and motion studies had concluded that it took 30 minutes for the average docker to walk to the ship, and a further 30 minutes to walk back. This of course counted as part of the working day, and so only 2 hours were left for the docker to actually "work".

Time and motion had also dictated that it took 45 minutes to open the cargo holds, and another 45 minutes to close them. This left some 30 minutes in which the cargo could be unloaded.

However, no doubt exhausted by the gruelling schedule, our hardworking dockers needed a break. Therefore two tea breaks, of 15 minutes each, were built into the day. The result, dockers were paid double time not to come to work (after all, what was the point of coming into work to open and close a cargo hold?).

My father tweaked their noses by ensuring that the holds of his ship were opened whilst still at sea, thus the dockers had to come into work to unload the cargo.

Irate docker - "You can't do that mister!"

My father - "I'm the captain, this is my ship; I will do as I please when it is at sea!"

Needless to say working practices like that ensured the destruction of the once thriving dockyards in the UK (something that Hitler had failed to achieve), as container ships moved to unload their cargoes on mainland Europe.

Clearly the TUC is still staffed by the same type of bone headed, obstinate mules that once ruled to docks.

Fortunately no one listens to the TUC anymore!

PS substitute "TUC" for "FCC" to fully enjoy the song.

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Nanny is Mother, Nanny is Father - Nanny's Hell on Earth

My thanks to Sam for posting a very insightful response to my recent article on Dickensian Britain.

I reproduce Sam's response in full below, as I believe it is worth highlighting in its own right.

Nanny is creating hell on earth, and no one seems willing or able to stop her.

"Reading the comments it seems like none of you have considered why so many kids are not toilet-trained, are rude and violent, can't hold cutlery let alone polite conversations.

State and economic insistence on both parents working + execrable dumping grounds (aka 'nurseries') = immature, disturbed and disturbing kids who lead chaotic lives amidst strangers predominantly.

The damning academic research was conclusive ten years and more ago. Yet the gov has simply let this mass abuse of our little children continue unabated.

Anecdotally, I have a daughter-in-law who, on her path to becoming a child psychologist (for which profession there is an explosion in demand), has spent the last 6months at one of these 'nurseries'.

The reports are grim. She goes home every night in tears (this isn't hyperbole for effect).

Staff are very poorly paid and undereducated. Staff are bullied and bullied - particularly about the latest set of 'targets' and their fulfilment, and about inspections (the last of which had the manager screaming round the day before getting all staff to sign that they'd done a whole course in Elf'n'Safety, when of course, they hadn't. The inspector saw the anomalies but nonetheless gave the nursery a good mark).

Children are left there from 8am to 6pm and longer. They have a couple of rushed hours with their parents who feel so guilty that at weekends they indulge and spoil their little cherubs rotten.

Half the four yos can't use a toilet properly. Several don't know how to sit down and eat a meal normally. Boys particularly are violent and abusive. Girls fight viciously. Every week almost my d-i-l has to make a formal report of injury that is serious enough to be entered in the elf'n'safety book - that is, an injury deliberately done to HER by one of these children.

You'd think this was some sink estate, wouldn't you? It's not. These are the children of both the new middle-classes and of 'traditional' professionals. These parents are not lazy - they're pushed beyond what is good for their children and what is good for themselves by this care-less, tax, tax, tax socialist culture. They don't have time for their kids, let alone for washing nappies, ensuring decent table manners, and teaching respect and courtesy. They have no time for loving their children...

God help us. Really. These kids are the ones who will be responsible for our welfare as we age. This is a country on the road to sheer hell."

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The Dangers of Booze Adverts

The British Medical Association (BMA) recently called for all alcohol advertising, including sport and music sponsorship, to be banned in order to protect "young" people from taking advantage of cheap drinks promotions.

Why can't middle aged people take advantage of these promotions as well?

Anyhoo, the BMA wants a radical rethink of public health policy (another one?), including introducing prohibitions at pubs and bars on deals such as; happy hour, two-for-one purchases and "ladies' nights".

The BMA also want minimum prices for alcohol and higher booze taxes.

Nanny's chief medical officer, Sir Liam Donaldson, earlier this year called for a 50p minimum price for a unit of alcohol.

All very well and good, maybe.

However, I am less than inclined to take advice from a profession that, statistically, has a higher percentage of people (compared with the likes of the ordinary mortals in the street) who drink to "excess" (as per Nanny's own definition), who smoke, are overweight and are substance abusers.

I am most certainly not going to be told by MPs as to what I can/cannot eat or drink, given that MPs equate to the "butchers' profession" when it comes to being populated by obese, heavy drinking, smoking substance abusers (with various mental disorders).

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A Nation of Paedophiles - Nanny Sh*ts Herself II

Pass the sick bag someone, I had the great misfortune to watch Ed Balls (Children's Secretary - whatever that really means?) and Sir Roger Singleton, chairman of the Independent Safeguarding Authority, on TV last night trying to squirm their way out of the avalanche of criticism being heaped upon Nanny's head over her "Won't Someone Think of The Children?" database.

Balls now states that it is "tremendously important" to ensure the "right balance" has been struck and was relevant to "real life".

Sick bag again please!

When did this lousy government, and its brain dead apparatchiks, ever bother applying "real life" to their rules and diktats?

Balls droned on about what constitutes the difference between infrequent and frequent contact with children, as per Nanny's rule that frequent contact requires registration on her database.

Seemingly, in the eyes of Balls, 3 times a month would require registration.

That would of course mean, for instance, that shopkeepers who serve kids would have to register...wouldn't it?

This scheme is unworkable.

Aside from all the other points raised earlier on this site as to why it is wrong, can you seriously imagine that this government is capable of designing and building a database that can hold the details of 11 million people without there being some major cock up?

What government IT scheme has ever come in on time, on budget or on specification?

Take a look at HMRC or the NHS for "fine" examples of Nanny's failure in IT.

Anyhoo, dear old Ed (scared shitless by the public outcry, as I noted yesterday) has said he will review this lousy scheme.

Unfortunately he has passed the responsibility for the review to Sir Roger "The Dodger" Singleton (who has set the thing up). "The Dodger", who doesn't exactly exude charisma, bleated helplessly that this legislation was passed by parliament three years ago and that it was our "beloved" MPs who put this scheme together.

One might ask where were the Tories and Liberals then, and why didn't they kick up a fuss?

BTW folks, I warned about this in May 2008.

One might also ask why is it that our MPs are incapable of passing legislation that isn't full of holes?

As noted yesterday, Nanny is wounded. However, she is not yet ready to surrender, this needs to be taken to its final stage; to this end I suggest that you bombard your MPs, Balls and the media with your views as to why it is wrong.

It will be the only way to kill off this dangerous idea.

Here's Ed's addy ed@edballs.com, and here's his orifice dcsf.ministers@dcsf.gsi.gov.uk.

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A Nation of Paedophiles - Nanny Sh*ts Herself

It seems that Nanny has been a tad "stung" by the mounting furore over her draconian plans to place 11 million on her "Won't Someone Think of The Children?" database.

BTW, a child (as defined by the law) is anyone under 18. In theory that means those in the armed forces who interact with troops who are under 18 need also to be checked...doesn't it?

Or is there an exemption there?

While I am thinking about it, what about priests?...or is that a wee bit contentious?

Anyhoo, Sir Roger Singleton, chairman of the Independent Safeguarding Authority (ISA - the taxpayer funded quango that will enforce this nonsense), is clearly hurting and said that people need to "calm down" and consider the issue "rationally".

Roughly translated, what this bureaucrat is saying is this:

"You are behaving in an irrational and emotional way, we (Nanny) know best".

Somewhat patronising don't you think?

However, what this also tells us is that Nanny is now sh*tting herself over this, and realises that she has lost this one.

Keep pushing hard and she will bolt for cover, like a wounded animal, and rescind this nonsense.

Can't you smell the blood?

I can!

Here is a link to the Independent Safeguarding Authority's feedback page, where you can track the wounded animal down to its lair, and put it out of our misery.

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A Nation of Paedophiles - Nanny's New Poll Tax

As we all know, in Nanny's sick twisted little mind all adults are paedophiles until they prove otherwise.

To this end ZaNuLabour have decreed that all adults who have regular contact with children will have to submit to Nanny's vetting and barring scheme, due to be introduced next month.

Oh, by the way, apart from volunteers all registrants will have to pay £64 (a novel new poll tax).

Now my loyal readers, who exactly falls into the group that has "regular contact with children"?

Anybody who, for instance, drives groups of children to Scouts, Brownies or after-school sports clubs (ie parents).

Failure to undergo a criminal records check will incur a fine of £5K.

How many people does this cover?

11 million!

That would give Nanny a potential revenue stream of £700M.

Ker farking ching!

To add insult to injury, Nanny's paedophile database of 11 million innocent people will contain complaints and concerns registered by colleagues or members of the public (even if they don't lead to a prosecution).

In other words it will act as a repository for every piece of tittle tattle and gossip spread by malicious SOBs with nothing better to do, or with a chip on their shoulder.

This repository of venom and gossip will of course be available for viewing by any employer, or voluntary group, with which the person might work.

The Home Orifice will consider and record all information received, regardless of the source.

Read the above again a few times, so that you get the point.

Nanny has created a Gestapo style database. She has turned us into a poor man's version of Nazi Germany.

This of course won't have any real effect in stopping those who are paedophiles (despite Nanny's fantasy, there are not millions of them in the UK) doing what they want to do. All they have to do is get a certificate to prove they have have no criminal prosecution, and voila they have proof in writing from Nanny that they aren't a paedophile.

As to what message this sends to kids about adults, well it's obvious isn't it?

All adults are paedophiles unless they can prove otherwise.

Don't trust adults.

It is hardly surprising that the young feel alienated and afraid, and that they have few adult role models in their lives!

In the middle ages the state egged on the population to burn witches, now they egg on the population to "burn" adults.

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Dickensian Britain

Lesley Ward, the new head of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers, claims that her members are seeing evidence of deprivation that would be familiar to Dickens.

"I am talking about perfectly healthy children who enter school not yet toilet-trained. Children who cannot dress themselves, children who only know how to eat with a spoon and fingers, and have never sat around a table to enjoy a home-cooked family meal. Children who think that the word 'no' means if you throw a wobbly it will miraculously turn into yes.

Children who get themselves, and sometimes their younger siblings, up in the morning. Children who bring themselves to school at very young ages. Children who sometimes don't know who will be at home when they get home – if anyone. Children who don’t know exactly who the father figure is in the home from month to month.

I know of a pupil who actually saw, from the classroom window during a lesson, his house door being kicked in and his dad being led out of the door in handcuffs – this was during Sats week. He did not achieve the level he should have.

Are we surprised?

Teachers all over the country are working in areas like this. Areas where often more than half the children receive free school meals, where one in ten of the school population is on the at risk register, where 10 per cent, or more, of the children in each class have some form of special need.

These children come from some of our poorest communities, starting school with the huge weight of deprivation on their shoulders, and it can be next to impossible to counteract the effects of such deprivation. I would like to stress I am not talking about the whole of our school population, but a small, significant and growing minority."

She is right to highlight these issues.

However, whilst "poverty" may exacerbate certain issues, she is wrong to blame "poverty" specifically for them:

1 Even animals (our 5 month old cat for example) manage to work out how to use the toilet. The lack of toilet training has nothing to do with poverty, but incredibly abysmal parenting.

2 Poverty does not equate to lousy behaviour. Certain members of the Bullingdon Club have on occasions behaved like yobs in public places, yet the poor of Dickensian Britain tried their best to behave with as much dignity as was possible under the circumstances.

3 Poverty does not compel you to have children.

4 Poverty does not compel you to not read to your children.

5 Poverty does not compel you behave like sub humans.

6 Poverty does not prevent you from using the toilet.

7 Poverty does not prevent you from being able to use a knife and fork.

8 The collapse of "human behaviour" and "social skills" has been mirrored by an opposite increase in the activities and encroachment of the state into private lives. The state is taking away people's self responsibility for the their lives and removing the need for them to worry about the consequences of their own actions.

The state is causing the expansion of the so called "under class".

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Dickensian Britain

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Nanny Bans Butter

I see that Nanny is having another go at "fat" again.

This time she has set her sights on butter. Her "good practice" guidelines, as per one of her quangos the School Food Trust, states:

"When making sandwiches, try not using any butter or spread if the filling is moist enough. If using fat spread, choose a reduced-fat variety and spread thinly.".

Why not just dip the bread in water and be done with it?

Nanny's scare mongering about the dangers of butter is complete bollocks. Natural fats such as butter, cheese, milk and lard are far better for you than the artificial shit that is packaged as spreadable slurry.

As I have noted many times before, the body is like a car engine; it needs oil in it to prevent it seizing up.

Hence fat in the veins will of course aid the flow of blood!

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Nanny Bans Dick

Dear oh dear!

I see our chums from Flintshire County Council are making prats of themselves again.

It seems that the traditional British pudding "Spotted Dick" has been deemed "offensive" by the Thought Police.

As such the word "Dick" has been treated in an Orwellian manner and deemed "ungood". The new name for the pudding is "Spotted Richard".

Flintshire County Council have confirmed that Spotted Dick had been taken off their menu at the offices in Mold, North Wales.

I am sure that the taxpayers of Flintshire welcome the fact that their taxes are being put to such good use by employing the knobheads who renamed "Dick".

Doubtless when panto season approaches, the old refrain:

"Ten miles to London, and still no sign of Dick!"

Will also be banned by Flintshire.

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The Bin Tax - Ker-Farking-Ching!

Full marks to Nanny's chums in Leicester council who have come up with a "novel" and "amusing" method for screwing their hapless council taxpayers out of even more of their hard earned money.

The council are enforcing a wheelie bin tax which fines people whenever they break the council's rules wrt wheelie bins, eg putting the bin out on the wrong day or leaving out "too much" rubbish.

Families now face fines of £100 per adult resident.

Yes, you did read that correctly, the council will base the size of the fine on the number of adults residing at the address.

Rather amusing isn't it?

Wasn't Labour the party that so vehemently opposed the "poll tax", yet now they are levying taxes on a per head basis?

Zoe Kozlik, a student, and her three housemates had to pay £110 each to Leicester council for leaving the bin out after the decreed time.

Leicester city council said wheelie bins were blocking streets and encouraging arsonists.

Errmmm...but surely it is the local councils who have imposed the use of wheelie bins isn't it, despite protests at the time from residents who used to use ordinary bins?

The fundamental problem with the current fining system (aside from the very obvious issues) is that the authority that stands as judge, jury and executioner wrt imposing the fine also benefits from the revenue of the fine.

Thus strongly incentivising the authority (ie council) to issue even more fines.

This system, as it currently stands, is inequitable; it breaks the fundamental tenet's of a "just" and workable fine based system and indeed a "just" and workable taxation system.

It will result in a very ugly backlash against local authorities and the state. Peasants revolted a few hundred years ago over similar abuses of power.

Ker-Farking-Ching!

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Dib Dib Dob Dob

Oh dear it seems that Nanny has decided to start interfering with boy scouts.

The Scout Association is advising boys and their parents that they should not bring penknives to camp, despite it being legal for anyone to carry a foldable, nonlocking blade in a public place as long as it is shorter than 3ins.

How very silly of Nanny!

What exactly are the scouts meant to whittle with then?

frankly I am surprised, given that there are adults involved, that Nanny still allows scouts to go to camps given her paranoia about child abusing adults.

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Thighs Are Good

Snort!

I see another myth propagated by Nanny, wrt obesity, has just been blown apart.

According to a study published in the British Medical Journal, men and women with thighs over 60cm (23.6in) in circumference have a lower risk of heart disease and early death.

Coming soon, scientific research that proves Nannyism drives people to an early death.

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Gerson Lehrman News

Off topic, should you wish to read about non Nanny matters, I write articles covering business issues for Gerson Lehrman News, and am an Accounting & Financial Analysis Council Member (AFA Council Members include CFOs, former top regulatory body officials, partners from the world's leading accounting firms, academics, forensic accountants, and other financial executives).

The news articles can be accessed via this link Gerson Lehrman News.

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The Dangers of Roughage

Snort!

How amusing to read that yet another of Nanny's dogmas, about what constitutes a healthy diet, is now being questioned.

It would appear that her long running, hectoring, lecturing about the necessity to eat lots of fibre turns out to be bollocks.

A team of researchers from the Netherlands, led by Rene Bijkerk of the University Medical Centre, claim that wheat bran and other fibrous foods that do not dissolve easily in water not only fail to soothe irritable bowels, but may actually make things worse.

Nanny, aided and abetted by the manufactures of breakfast crap, has been recommending daily doses of fibre in the form of insoluble bran for yonks.

However, and this is kind of key to the notion of recommending something without testing the theory first, there have been very few rigorous studies to see whether boosting intake of this type of fibre actually works.

Quel surprise!

Nanny spouting BS again without checking her facts first!

Blinky, blonkey, blimey, along comes a piece of research that disproves Nanny's old wives' tales.

Quote

"Bran showed no clinically relevant benefits, and many patients seemed not to tolerate bran.

Indeed, bran may worsen symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome and should be advised only with caution."

Wrt to breakfast crap purveyed by certain large manufacturing concerns, given the high sugar/salt content and almost zero nutritional value, I recommend that people eat the cereal box instead.

I guarantee that the box contains more nutrients and has a higher fibre content (if that's your particular "bag").

Alternatively, if you are constipated, I recommend a sherry (British of course) enema instead!

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