Something For The Weekend

Why are 21% of people still willing to vote ZaNuLabour?

Are these people morons or what?

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Prats Of The Week - The Dangers of Fish and Chips

Ooh my word, I haven't awarded my world renowned and internationally respected "Prats of The Week" Award for quite some time.

Methinks it is time to do so!

This week it goes to the wardens (and Norwich council who employed them) of Lakenfields sheltered housing complex in Norwich.

Lakenfields is a sheltered housing complex for elderly people. It has a good community spirit, whereby each week George Pretty (72) would do a fish and chip shop run and bring back fish and chips for his 18 fellow residents who were not able to get out.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, the health and safety gestapo decreed that there may be a health and safety risk wrt the ambient temperature of the fish and chips.

The result being that the wardens banned Mr Pretty from doing the run, as the fish and chips (at possibly low ambient temperature) presented a clear and present danger to the residents.

OK, here's why this is total bollocks:

1 Fish and chips can be eaten stone cold, with no ill effects.

2 The residents, if they thought they were too cold would doubtless not bother ordering/eating them again.

3 The residents are doubtless intelligent enough to determine what they wish to eat, and how they wish it to be provided.

4 The complex is not a prison camp.

5 It is not the wardens' business what private citizens choose to eat.

6 Banning the one highlight, for the entire community, of the week was by anyone's standards mean spirited and cruel. A thoroughly loathsome thing to do.

7 How many people in the UK die from cold fish and chips...errrmmm...no one!

8 The journey takes all of 5 minutes!

Needless to say once a bit of a media storm erupted over this, the dorks at the council backed down and claimed that the wardens were being "over zealous"...done with the "best intentions" (Pah! the road to hell is paved etc). I guarantee that had not a storm erupted the council would not have lifted a finger.

Meals on wheels type boxes are now being provided; all very fancy, but I guarantee that the fish and chips arrive no warmer than had they been wrapped in paper only!

The wardens and Norwich City Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Nanny Bans Plastic Cutlery

I must admit that I had thought that I had seen the end of this absurd piece of Nannyism from our "rule creating" supermarkets, wrt asking for id for teaspoons etc.

How wrong I was.

I am told by one of my correspondents (aged 25) that this time our old friends from Tesco (one of their stores in Liverpool City Centre) has asked for proof of age id (whereby the store operative signs off that the purchaser is over 18) for cutlery.

I suppose it can be argued that as cutlery contains knives, that could be construed as a potentially dangerous purchase.

However, here's the rub, the cutlery for which age id was required was not metal, wood or ivory but PLASTIC!!!



Why can't a child (a person under 18) buy plastic cutlery? They seem well able to buy drugs, booze, weapons and porn without much bovver.

You can join the Army before you are 18, yet Tesco won't let you buy plastic cutlery until you are 18.

Nanny doesn't need to enact any more legislation to take away our personal freedoms, her apparatchiks in supermarkets etc are doing all her work for her!

BTW, I can't be bothered to register to look through the Tesco site but am advised that for some reason or other the plastic cutlery cannot be found on the Tesco site. Can anyone validate this?

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Jacqui's Secret Army

Oh dear, I see our Home Economics Minister (sorry, Home Secretary) Jacqui Smith has decided to create her own secret army.

Not content with the normal police, and the "plastic" police (Police Community Support Officers), Jacqui has decided to add another layer of policing "Jacqui's Irregulars".

These are a wee army of private security guards and town hall employees (eg park wardens and car park attendants) who have "police type powers". Our "respected and efficient" Home Orifice imbues these people with their "special powers" (eg to be able to fine people for truancy and littering, and to be able to demand someone's name and address) once they have undergone "training".

Jacqui's scheme is known as the Community Safety Accreditation Scheme, members of Jacqui's Irregulars get to wear a special badge and a uniform (and we all know what happens to some jumped up jobsworths once they start to wear uniforms, don't we?).

Seemingly there are now 1,406 people who are members of Jacqui's Irregulars.

Has anyone ever come across a "Jacqui Irregular", I must admit it was news to me that a third layer of police had been created.

Errm...isn't this rather alarming?

Has this been discussed in Parliament?

Did anyone get to vote on it?

Is this merely a private army to protect Jacqui when she goes to buy a kebab?

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Nanny's Dangerous Test

There is something of a delicious irony in this story.

Nanny claims that she wants to reduce the number of accidents on the roads, eg motorcycle accidents.

To this end she has "stiffened up" (a very bold phrase to use before the 9PM watershed) the motorcycle driving exam, by introducing a swerve test.

During the test learners have to reach 50km/h, then perform a swerve on special test centre tracks.

All very well, except that there is one small fly in Nanny's oinkment.

Can you guess what this children?

Yes, that's right, the swerve test seems to be a tad dangerous!

There have been a series of crashes in the first few weeks of its use; 15 incidents during the exam, with at least one rider left with broken bones.

Some instructors believe that Nanny hasn't properly thought the test through. Nanny, not thinking something through?

Quell surprise!

I wouldn't worry too much, given that motorcycles are often (but not always) driven by young men (whom Nanny hates with a vengeance) and that Nanny hates motorcycles per se, it is clear that within the fullness of time Nanny will ban motorcycles outright (and probably young men too)!

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Failure is Character Building

I must admit to enjoy watching the BBC's scripted "pretend business" show "The Apprentice", were the contestants really so successful in their current roles (as they claim) there is no way on planet earth that they would give these roles up to work for Sir Alan as an apprentice.

Anyhoo, the show does provide an interesting example of how the Nanny state has cushioned an entire generation from failure. What is particularly striking is how often it is that, when these business "masters/mistresses of the universe" are fired by Sir Alan, their "I am supreme" egos collapse and their bottom lips tremble (and that's just the boys).

Why is this?

Their upbringing by Nanny has wrapped them in cotton wool, they have never experienced failure.

I have failed many times, in many tasks; my first driving test, exams, relationships, all sporting competitions, world domination etc. Yet I did not collapse into a heap, I got back in the saddle and had another go.

Failure is character building, and is an essential part of growth.

Nanny by denying young people/children the opportunity to fail, and by not stretching them to the point of failure, is denying them an essential element in their development that they need to grow into mature well balanced and responsible adults.

Failure is necessary and essential to growth and development.

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The System

Listening to our "walking dead" Prime Minister the other day, prattling on about how "the system" (wrt MPs' expenses) was at fault for the claims for floating duck islands, fake mortgages, moats etc I was struck by how what the PM said exemplifies the very heart of the problem of the Nanny state.

The PM ignored the fundamental issue, it is not the system that is at fault but the people. It was not compulsory for our MPs to claim for duck islands and moats, they did so voluntarily and with gusto!

The PM and these greedy MPs are using the "procedures" argument as a defence, in exactly the same manner that a doctor, social worker, police officer, teacher, FSA CEO or council officer uses "rules and procedures" to justify what they do and to justify their mistakes.

How many times have we heard the phrase "we followed the procedures"?

That is meaningless if the end result is failure/death, or a cold hearted application of a petty rule.

Nanny's rules and procedures proactively encourage people to stop thinking for themselves and taking personal self responsibility for their own actions/mistakes.

The PM so eloquently highlighted (unintentionally) the very weakness at the heart of the Nanny state; namely, no one needs to ever take personal responsibility anymore, so long as they follow procedures.

Without personal responsibility, individuality, risk taking and thinking outside of the box we are most assuredly set on the path to our own self destruction; as we drown in bureaucracy and petty rules, all of which have been designed to suffocate initiative and growth.

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Theme Tune

I think that this site needs a theme tune.

Here it is:



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Health and Safety - Brandy

In the interests of scientific research, health and safety and to further mankind's understanding about the effects of alcohol on the system, I conducted extensive research last night.

I can conclude, and must advise you, that the hangover from brandy at £145 per glass (fear not I wasn't paying) is more or less the same as the hangover from brandy at £5 per glass.

Please can Nanny have a suitably worded warning attached to all brandy bottles in the future!

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Nanny Bans Ice Cream Vans

As summer approaches we cast our mind back to the halcyon days of summers past, the sound of leather upon willow (that's cricket folks) and the merry jingle of the ice cream van.

Sadly, if Nanny's cums in her "respected" local councils have their way, the sound of ice cream vans may be but a distant faded memory.

For why?

Nanny has decreed that:

1 The sound of the jingles and general commotion of children queuing to buy ice cream is a nuisance, and

2 Ice cream makes people fat, therefore it should not be sold.

Harrow Council is leading the anti ice cream van vendetta, by refusing to issue new vending licences to ice cream sellers and encouraging police to enforce the embargo.

Kypros Kimonos, a purveyor of ices etc, was recently on the receiving end of Nanny's bully boy tactics. The police threatened to arrest him because he didn't have a licence.

Can he get a licence?

No!

Why?

Because the council won't issue any new ones!

Angela Mawle, of the UK Public Health Association, said:

"Ice cream is a fattening product, a luxury item. Councils need to start thinking about how they can promote healthy communities."

Why is this the council responsibility?

Who gave them the right to dictate our gut size?

Will all other fattening foods be banned, eg chips, lard, hotdogs, food in general?

All food, if eaten in sufficient quantities, is fattening!

Ice cream can be bought from shops, will councils ban that too?

These councils, and their patsies from the so called "health profession", are behaving like little Hitlers; it is time that they were dealt with in the same manner that we dealt with Herr Shickelgruber and his chums!

Needless to say, Harrow is a Conservative council.

You know the drill folks, tell Cameron that he will lose the next election unless he gets these idiots to realise that we are fed up with the state telling us how to live our lives.

Here's David Cameron's email to tell him what you think: camerond@parliament.uk

Ice Cream Van Man
by ScottishTornado

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The Dangers of Flags

Congratulations to South Kesteven District Council for their contribution to the Nanny state. The health and safety "gurus" of the council have banned the town hall from flying the Union Flag on Armed Forces Day, 27 June, as climbing 8ft to reach the pole has been deemed 'too dangerous'.

The ban also applies to the St George's Cross flag, which is usually flown from the town hall on the Queen's birthday June 13.

The health and safety "gurus" are worried that the person mounting the ladder may slip and impale himself on the spiked gate below.

The irony being that the spiked gate was installed as a safety measure, to prevent people slipping and falling into a well below.

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Nanny's Little Helpers - Catch Them Young II

Way back in September 2008 I warned about certain local councils employing children (some as young as 8) to photograph and video people who infringe local council rules; eg dog fouling, littering and Nanny's most heinous of all crimes...

BIN CRIMES!!!!

Some councils were paying £500 a pop to encourage the kids to spy for them.

Catch them young and they will yours forever!

Well it seems that people have chosen to ignore my warning, and put a stop to this Nazification of our young, as the Mail reports that councils are still recruiting children to act as "environment volunteers" and report on litter louts, noisy neighbours and families putting their rubbish out on the wrong day.

It seems that there are now 9,000 people signed up to Nanny's spy scheme.

A spokesman for Islington town hall (one of the boroughs using children as spies) is quoted:

"It's not possible for the council to see what's going on in the borough at all times, so our Eyes for Islington are a great help, reporting issues such as dangerous footpaths, fly-tipping and graffiti."

I warn you again, to encourage children to spy on their fellow citizens is a very dangerous development; it mirrors the tactics of the Nazis and will result in the enslavement of the people by the state, by encouraging an atmosphere of fear and mistrust of our fellow citizens.

You were warned, and I have now warned you again!

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The Tears of a Clown

Oh dear oh dear, Nanny's health and safety Gestapo have donned their jackboots again and have decreed that the circus is a dangerous environment.

Is Nanny worried about people being sat on by an elephant?

No!

Is Nanny worried about people being eaten by lions?

No!

Nanny is worried that clowns may trip up over their enormous shoes!

Ermmmm...isn't that the farking point of the shoes and of a clown act? Namely that the clown falls flat on his face...preferably into a custard pie or bath of beans etc?

Seemingly not, according to Nanny. Valerik Kashkin, a clown, was recently told by his bosses that he can no longer wear his giant (size 18) shoes because they are a health risk.

Mr Kashkin was performing in Britain with the Moscow State Circus when he fell off a 10ft high wire, hurting his left foot.

His bosses decided that the shoes represented a clear and present danger to his health and safety (ignoring the fact that he was walking on a tightrope...call me old fashioned and risk averse, but surely that was the health an safety issue?).

The health and safety rule also rather ignores other "risky" features of his act; eg he dresses himself first while walking on a wire then, within a hoop of fire, plays a drum-kit, trumpet and double-bass all at the same time.

I would venture to suggest that the shoes are the least of the risks facing Mr Kashkin!

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Prats of The Week - Croydon Council

Well, well, well it has been more than a wee while since I awarded my world renowned and coveted "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to the good old boys of Croydon Council, where I used to live.

For why?

Well my old muckers, there are so many reasons.

One of them being that despite being told very clearly and regularly over a number of years that their "plans" for redeveloping Park Place wouldn't work, the council carried on regardless and tore the heart out of the centre of Croydon.

Can you guess ewhat happened next children?

Yes, that's right, the council's plans collapsed and they have left Croydon with a blighted centre.

Will they apologise?

Will they fark!

Anyhoo, as much as they deserve the award for that, I am in fact giving them the award for something else.

Our "good old friend" health and safety is the root cause of this award.

Over the last ten years or so, community groups have been allowed to use the mayor's reception rooms at the town hall for meetings etc.

However, all of this has come to an end as the council and new Mayor of Croydon (Councillor Margaret Mead) have decided that so many meetings there must be wearing out the carpet.

Needless to say, the council invoked health and safety and said that that further meetings will cause the carpet to fray, thus presenting a future trip hazard.

You will note that at the moment there is no such fraying, but merely a thought to the future where such a risk might occur. Thus all meetings of non council groups have been banned, on the basis of a perceived future risk that has yet to occur.

I guess, in the event that it does fray, the carpet could be replaced. However, this council cares about wasting taxpayers' money and only wishes to waste millions (rather than thousands) as per its failed Park Place development scheme.

Croydon Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

FYI, it is a Tory council.

Here's David Cameron's email to tell him what you think: camerond@parliament.uk

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Snouts in The Trough - No Special Rules For MPs

I think that you may enjoy today's article on my HMRC site.

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Nanny Bans Teaspoons V

Just in from Asda:

"Thank you for your message.

Dear Mr. Frost.

Thank you for your e-mail.

We are currently aware of this issue, and have spoken to the colleague involved to make sure, she's aware of the correct policies in the future. Once again thank you for bringing this matter to our attention.

Kind Regards

******* ASDA Service Team "

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Take Courage

Nanny hates booze, which is kind of ironic as most of her minions in parliament are professional boozers/substance abusers who make the most of the subsidised late bars in Westminster.

Anyhoo, Nanny got a bee in her bonnet recently about an advert for Courage beer which allegedly implied that drinking Courage would give the drinker "courage".

The advert showed a nervous guy holding a can of Courage, as he views the backside of a stout lady in a tight new dress, the tagline being:

"Take Courage My Friend."

Nanny's chums in the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) received "several" complaints (doubtless from people with no lives whatsoever) about the advert, and promptly banned it. Seemingly the advert would "imply the beer would give the man the confidence" to criticise his wife's dress.

Earth to ASA...that's exactly the point of booze!

How many marriages, loss of virginities and pregnancies have been caused by an affluence of alcohol?

To deny the reality is akin to an ostrich putting its head in the sand!

That being said, Courage is the brand name of this product; is Nanny going to ban that then as well?

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Snouts in The Trough - Tax Avoidance ZaNuLabour

Oooh the sweet irony!:)

Read and enjoy:)

Snouts in The Trough

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Nanny Bans Hanging Baskets - Again!

Nanny and her acolytes in various organs around the country have something of a bee in their "collective" bonnets over the health and safety issues wrt hanging baskets.

True to form one of Nanny's chums, the Abergele Association of Traders, recently decreed that hanging baskets are to be banned from Abergele High Street.

For why?

Nanny is sore afraid that workers could injure themselves trying to water them.

Even the town council thinks this ban is bollocks. As town councillor, Richard Waters, rightly pointed out there are systems where baskets can be watered from pavement level using a piping system.

Health and safety worries (promulgated by those who actually have no formal health and safety training/qualification) are destroying our society, and making this country a very miserable place indeed to live in.

Let us do to these people what The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy recommended, namely set them adrift in space.



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Nanny Bans Teaspoons IV

It would appear from this follow up comment, made by the contributor of the Asda teaspoon story, that Asda are not the only supermarket imposing an id rule for the purchase of teaspoons.

"I sent the original photo in. Asda can deny it all they like but they'd be lying if they did. I've seen the receipt & I still have the photo of it on my phone - it says 'teaspoons', 'ID required, 18', my wife has it in her possession. She is not a liar, neither am I.

In the spirit of mischief my wife went to Tesco today & tried to purchase 2 latte teaspoons (the long handled & therefore potentially lethal variety) using the self service checkout.

Sure enough an assistant was required & she was asked for proof of ID. You need to be over 18.

What kind of insanity is this? I urge everyone to go to their local supermarket & buy spoons - use the self service checkout to force an assistant to make you provide ID. Then refuse to provide it.

If they insist on this moronic rule, walk out & leave the stuff where it is: it's not yours until you've paid for it."

In the spirit of the above, I suggest that we conduct a series of tests, the length and breadth of the country, to id which supermarket chains and stores require id for the purchase of teaspoons.

Those that require an id should be named, shamed and boycotted.

Please post your findings on this site.

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Swine Flu - The Leaflet Arrives

Yesterday the Frost residence, along with households across the country, received Nanny's Swine Flu leaflet.

Cue a roll on the drums!



Dear oh dear what a waste of time, effort and our money!

I have scan read it, and am far from impressed. Here are a few thoughts as to why it is bollocks:

1 It has clearly been written by a committee of "fearful" risk averse people, determined not to let any potential issue go unmentioned.

2 At ten pages it is too long, and won't be read by those who may well actually need to be told to wash their hands and catch their sneezes in their handkerchiefs.

3 The salient points, about symptoms and washing hands etc, don't appear until page six and onwards. Most people will have given up by page two. The salient points must appear on page one!

4 It directs the reader to a number of websites depending on geographical location (England, wales and Northern Ireland each have two). Not only is this confusing, it is quite unnecessary and a duplication of resources. Why not have a one simple one page website that lists symptoms, preventions and what to do?

5 Page four is a self congratulatory advert for Nanny, telling us that she has enough stocks of Tamiflu and Relenza for 50% of the UK. All very well, but the reality is that 50% is the combined holding of Tamiflu and Relenza; Tamiflu will be the first line of defence, if that doesn't work then Relenza is used.

6 Page two says that no one has immunity.

Complete bollocks!

Genetically speaking there will always be individuals who are resistant to new diseases, whatever they may be. Scaremongering of the worst sort!

7 Page ten offers the leaflet in Welsh. Given that this is a supposed "public health emergency", wasting time and money on producing leaflets, as a pc sop, for people who speak English perfectly well is absolutely scandalous.

In a real crisis all such pc pretensions would be thrown out of the window, and those who came up with such nonsense taken out and shot.

8 In the event that Swine Flu is here to stay, then the likely peak will be in winter. Nanny, by going into overdrive now, has lessened the effectiveness of any campaign that she may have to mount in winter if, and it is a big IF, Swine Flu takes a foothold in winter.

9 This is simply a self serving exercise by Nanny to show that she is busy, and to take our minds off other issues.

A pox upon the leaflet, and upon Nanny!

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Horrornation Street

My sympathies to the good people of Manchester, who are to be used by Nanny as guinea pigs in her id card scheme.

Manchester has been selected as the first place in the UK where Nanny's id cards are to be rolled out on "voluntary" basis. Those who are so inclined can buy one of these things for £30.

Here is a link to why id cards are bollocks, also do remember that if the so called terrorist threat comes from British born citizens, then they will have an id card.

This is just another way for the government to raise taxes, a nice little earner!

Who in their right mind would voluntarily give Nanny more money to waste?

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BBC Twats - Again

You will doubtless recall my recent story about how Nanny's best chum Auntie (the BBC) invoked a rigorous application of health and safety rules when broadcasting a programme about changing a tyre?

Well, Auntie has gone and done it again this time during the adventure series "Top Dogs".

Sir Robin Knox-Johnston (sailor), Sir Ranulph Fiennes (explorer) and war reporter John Simpson were subjected to absurd health and safety when filming the series, which took them to Afghanistan, around Cape Horn by boat and across the Canadian Arctic.

These gentlemen are experts and experienced in the arts of survival etc (Sir Ranulph had to chop a few frozen fingers off once to save himself on one trip); yet Auntie forbade them to light a Primus stove without supervision and gave them a stonkingly large document warning them about hazards such as tripping over.

It does seem that the BBC, paid for with our money, is run by a bunch of twats.

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Nanny's List of Undesirables

Nanny published a list of undesirables today, numbering a grand total of 101 or so, who she does not want to allow to be in this fine country.

May I suggest that she has left a few names off the list?

- Smiler Brown (seen to the left doing a quick line)
- Harriet Harperson
- Hazel Bliars
- Jacqui "Citizen" Smith
- All local government officers
- Equality awareness officers
- Non job management/staff paid for by our taxes
- BBC board of governors
- London Olympics budgetary officers/managers

etc

Please feel free to add to the list.

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Nanny Bans Teaspoons III

I see that the teaspoon story has been featured in today's Telegraph.

Asda are denying any knowledge of the rule.

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The Dangers of Teaspoons II

I dropped Asda a note about the teaspoon issue, and received this:

"Thank you for your message.

Dear Mr. Frost

Thanks for getting in touch.

We've got your email and will reply as soon as possible.

If you need any extra help, please let us know.

Kind Regards ASDA Service Team

ASDA Stores Ltd,
Registered in England No. 464777.
Registered Office: ASDA House,
Southbank,
Great Wilson Street,
Leeds LS11 5AD."

I will advise if they send me anything else.

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The Dangers of Teaspoons

My thanks to Paul, a regular follower of this site, who alerted me to an Nannyism that one of his wife's colleagues recently experienced when shopping in a Halifax branch of Asda.

The lady was trying to buy some teaspoons, and was flabbergasted to find that she needed ID.

The assistant informed her that it was because someone had murdered someone with a teaspoon, and therefore ID was now required.

What complete and utter bollocks!

By that reasoning they should also require id for numerous other times that they sell (lest they be used to kill people) eg:

- stockings can be used to strangle
- socks can be used to chock people
- cleaning fluids can be used to poison
- forks can be used to stab people
- frozen legs of lamb can be used to bludgeon people with etc

Asda are a bunch of Nanny loving twats!

Please fee free to add to the list of other "murder" weapons sold by Asda, then drop them a line via this feedback form Asda.

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